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Is Getting Along With In-Laws Important or Trivial?

The Big Question 2012/11/29 01:33:34
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  • addie 2012/11/30 04:31:18
    Important
    addie
    but not essentual. of course.
  • Sarah Alexander 2012/11/29 23:04:55
    Important
    Sarah Alexander
    A spouse wouldn't have to get along with my parents because they wouldn't know them since I don't talk to them, but I'd like to get along with his parents.
  • casey mahoney 2012/11/29 21:39:18 (edited)
    Trivial
    casey mahoney
    +1
    My in-laws are awesome I love them and they love me however my mother is unloving selfish and is vengeful. I do not expect my husband to get along with her but he can certainly tell her off. Some in-laws are impossible to get along with. Some in-laws are hell bent on destroying marriages. And need to be treated as a danger to the family unit.
  • Anna 2012/11/29 21:36:17
    Important
    Anna
    I know I'd never want to be stuck between a partner and my parents who are bickering.
  • Jdogg 2012/11/29 21:02:30
    Important
    Jdogg
    It helps, Even if you don't care for them,just act like you like them , Cause most times they probobly feel the same towards you.
  • joshBigBoss 2012/11/29 20:41:46
    Trivial
    joshBigBoss
    +1
    When people don't like you they will find a reason to justify it. Sometimes it's simply the fact that you pointed out one of their flaws. Sometimes it's just the way you look.
    I don't waste my time on pleasing people that can't be pleased, but if I am dealing with a genuine person that demonstrates the golden rule in their daily lives then I will go out of my way to make things right with them.
  • JOHN C 2012/11/29 20:39:05
    Important
    JOHN C
    +1
    it would be nice to get along with your inlaws for your significant others feelings
  • kevracer 2012/11/29 20:35:48
    Important
    kevracer
    no matter how much of an idiot your father-in-law is, or what a bitch your mother-in-law is, you have to at least try and keep your mouth shut
  • casey m... kevracer 2012/11/29 21:52:08
    casey mahoney
    +2
    you would keep your mouth shut if your in-laws were abuseing your partner and trying to destory your marriage? This happens alot to alot of people.
  • kevracer casey m... 2012/11/29 22:06:13
    kevracer
    +2
    This happened in my first marriage- my Mother-in-law was an emotionally abusive person: We would walk into their home , she would look at my wife (her daughter) and say "You've put on weight. Why are you wearing your hair like that?" etc etc.

    I finally spoke up privately and told her to quit trying to destroy her daughter; being the bitch that she was, she twisted it so that she told her daughter I hated her, etc.

    Our maariage only improved after we moved six states away from the psychotic bitch

    marriage ended when wife had affair with her boss
  • casey m... kevracer 2012/11/30 00:34:15
    casey mahoney
    +1
    I am glad you moved that was a smart decision and I am sorry that you relationship wasn’t salvageable from adultery. I do understand your relationship very well as it mimics my own.

    My mother is very abusive and my husband gave me support to be able to stand up to her my self. I am glad we have been through a lot an abusive mother and adultery in our marriage.

    my relationship is stronger then ever and for once I know how to give and receive unconditional love. We have been together now 11 years. I have never been loved by someone so much that there are no conditions to his love. It has been a big eye opener because even my mother has conditions to her love if you want my love obey me. I have learned so much from my husband and have so much respect and honor for him to have put up with my mother and to love me unconditionally that now I have a new perspective on life.
  • kevracer casey m... 2012/11/30 01:12:29
    kevracer
    +1
    I will tell you that at the time my then wife fought hard against the idea of moving -she had lived in the same small suburb her whole life, never more than 15 minutes away from her parents.

    She just couldn't see how destructive her relaationship with her Mother truly was
  • casey m... kevracer 2012/11/30 07:35:08
    casey mahoney
    +1
    It took me more than 3 years and 2 pepole to help me see that it was abuse. we cant see it without major heart break. I was hurt so much by my mom that I now no longer have a daughters love for my mother. My mother whent so far that she destroyed any hope of us ever haveing a relationship, I try to love her as Jesus would but no longer have a family bond with her.

    she may never see it. I am sorry for that. someday she might want to see it.
  • Max7 2012/11/29 19:36:37
    Important
    Max7
    You marry a spouse and you become one, and you become family on both sides.
  • Nika 2012/11/29 19:18:45
    Important
    Nika
    Quite important, at least you have to try - it's your way of showing your respect for your wife's/husband's mother and father, that you really care about your love- that you're willing to spend time with even very specific types of family members if it means your wife/husband will be happy.
  • MsDianna 2012/11/29 19:08:03
    Important
    MsDianna
    it's very very important! a boy's Mama is still is Mama! Women come and go but a Mama
    is forever! same with a girl - my Mama was my Mama and I still went to her with my problems up until she went home to be with Jesus.
  • darlenedoskas1969 2012/11/29 18:41:26
    Important
    darlenedoskas1969
    +2
    my in-laws were very difficult... well, my mother-in-law was anyway... dad-in-law just went along to get along, if you know what I mean...

    to this day I still don't really know why she hated me, but my son resents her for her treatment of me, and he hardly ever talks to her... never visits... she's alone now that both of our husbands are dead... I feel badly for her, and would be there for her if she let me, but she still hates me... *shrug* I feel no guilt, because I know I did my best.
  • Lanikai 2012/11/29 18:40:01
    Important
    Lanikai
    Yes.

    My first mother in law hated me, on sight, period and she did everything she could to destroy our marriage.

    My current mother in law is awesome, marriage is fine,.
  • DavidK 2012/11/29 18:33:16
    Important
    DavidK
    Especially if they have a lot of money and are Conservatives.
  • flrdsgns 2012/11/29 18:26:54
    Important
    flrdsgns
    +2
    Getting along with them sure makes life much easier, especially during the holidays.
  • glass_butterfly ~YSU~ 2012/11/29 17:49:19
    Important
    glass_butterfly ~YSU~
    +1
    Nothing about getting along with people that are important to your mate is trivial.
  • Chris - The Rowdy One! #187 2012/11/29 17:10:16
  • flrdsgns Chris -... 2012/11/29 18:27:24
    flrdsgns
    +1
    I'm betting they felt the same way about you
  • Chris -... flrdsgns 2012/11/29 19:35:54 (edited)
  • luke 2012/11/29 16:55:04
    Trivial
    luke
    Somewhat important, but not life-or-death important.
  • DavidK luke 2012/11/29 18:35:02
    DavidK
    huh?!?!?!?
  • luke DavidK 2012/11/29 19:03:41
    luke
    Getting along with the in-laws is, to a point, important.

    I say that because nothing ruins family like the father-in-law tryiing to kill the son-in-law at supper on Xmas.

    However, it is not required (e.g. Akin to 'life-or-death") for one to be -buddy-budy with the in-laws.
  • DavidK luke 2012/11/30 07:37:05
    DavidK
    it sure helps tho. When you marry the woman you marry the family!
  • GoodEncounter 2012/11/29 16:07:06
    Important
    GoodEncounter
    +1
    They're your spouse's family. You don't want to put them in a position of having to choose between your or them.
  • gkirmani 2012/11/29 15:45:46
    Important
    gkirmani
    +1
    for harmonious life
  • Jana~ una chica loca 2012/11/29 15:44:46
    Important
    Jana~ una chica loca
    +1
    unless your spouse doesn't give a damn about their parents
  • Bibliophilic 2012/11/29 15:44:13 (edited)
    Important
    Bibliophilic
    +2
    As long as the in-laws are worthy of respect- as most people often are. Abusers and jackasses can't get along with anyone and don't care. Getting along with other people is important.
  • L1 2012/11/29 15:25:39
    Important
    L1
    +2
    If your spouse's family is important to them, then they will have influence. Best to have them on your side if you can, with both parties building a mutual respectful relationship.
  • smitty 2012/11/29 14:31:59
    Trivial
    smitty
    +2
    Right now I am not getting along with mine. Health issues are happening. The asked what they should do and I told them. They talked to an attorney and he told them the same things that I did.

    They are ignoring me completely.

    My wife asked them to watch their grandkids about 10 or so years ago. The told my brother in law that they thought we were using them as free babysitters. Pissed me off. Guess who we never asked again to watch them. 6 months latter they called and said they missed the kids. I told them that we didn't want to burden them with their grandkids.

    Now ask my mom if she will watch them. She changes her plans just so she can watch them.

    I married my wife not my in laws.
  • Professor Wizard 2012/11/29 14:24:37
    Important
    Professor Wizard
    +1
    Your in-laws can make your life miserable if they wish too.

    Who needs drama in their lives?
  • wtw 2012/11/29 14:24:18
    Important
    wtw
    +1
    To be able to get along shows character.
  • liz 2012/11/29 14:00:43
    Important
    liz
    +2
    You don't have to LOVE them, BUT If you LOVE your spouse, You should be adult enough to be friendly & respectful a few times a year.....
  • Aingean 2012/11/29 13:24:30
    Important
    Aingean
    +2
    It is important to at least try to get along with them. It is hard on your spouse when you put them in the middle between their parents and you. It isn't something I would want to do to my husband.
  • Debra Smith 2012/11/29 12:46:59 (edited)
  • sweetserinity13 2012/11/29 12:12:02
    Trivial
    sweetserinity13
    +2
    I have never cared if my family likes my husband or if his family likes me. The only thing that is important is that we love each other.

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