If you deeply fall in love with a person and he/she wants that you leave your family (mom and dad). What is your decision?

by anamika Posted 2012/08/21 06:11:39

Related Topics: Family, In Love, Son, Love, Fall, Person, Mom

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40 votes
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	leave lover	17 votes	43%
	leave family	4 votes	10%
	undecided	19 votes	48%

i think if any person not able to play a roll of son/daughter. How can i believe that he/she is prove a good lover.

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jgh57 2012/08/21 17:28:12

leave lover

+4
If that person is so controlling that they want you to leave your family then they are dangerous. They are trying to isolate you so that they can claim you as their property. This is an abuser in the making. It may hurt now but get away from this person now. Do some research on line of abusers. You will see your story surface again and again.
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More polls by anamika

Nancy~PWCM~JLA~POTL 2012/08/22 01:23:04 (edited)

leave lover

They should accept you as an entire package. You are who you are whether or not she/he likes it or not

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disclaimer 2012/08/21 22:55:15

leave lover

Whenever someone is trying to control you in any way, you should leave them.

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Dale 2012/08/21 20:01:37

leave lover

Run. Run as fast as you can away from this individual. This is the first step to an abusive relationship, and it will be one. It is a matter of "time," not a matter of "if" that the abuse will start.

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Elz 2012/08/21 19:54:31

leave family

i can leave my family but keep in touch with them.

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TuringsChild 2012/08/21 19:22:26

undecided

Not sure what you're asking here. If you fall deeply in love with someone AND MARRY THEM, you're SUPPOSED to leave your father and mother and become one flesh with your love.
If you're not old enough for marriage, or if he/she expects you to go off together without benefit of marriage, it's not love, stay away from him/her.

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Maj. C. D. Hardy 2012/08/21 18:51:18

leave lover

If a person is so insecure that they demand you leave you family or friends to focus solely on them they are not worth your time. Healthy relationships are based on give and take, tolerance, and mutual respect. It sounds like the person you are talking about has not matured enough yet to grasp these concepts or they would respect you enough to tolerate your family no matter what the situation may be.

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mark 1 2012/08/21 18:03:52

undecided

If he or she wants you to leave and have no contact then i say get away from him or her. If it is to get your on place and start a life that is your call.

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Che Guevara - Hero 2012/08/21 17:49:01

leave lover

+1
If they really loved you they wouldn't have some BS stipulation like that. If you really love someone you accept them for who they are, family and all. I would beware of someone that wants to manipulate and isolate you like that. Sounds creepy.

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Dave**Gay for Girls** 2012/08/21 17:47:51

undecided

+2
If it's to establish a life together that's understandable. If it's to take you away and isolate you from friends and family then run, he's shallow and insecure.

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PJ Sweet Cheeks 2012/08/21 17:44:52

leave family

If you are 18 or older.....Don't have any regrets in life...follow your heart :)

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bonehead15329 2012/08/21 17:40:40

leave lover

+2
Better be careful. This sounds like the kind of guy who wants to separate you from your family, then isolate you from your friends, then when he has you all for himself, use you for his own little punching bag.

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jgh57 2012/08/21 17:28:12

leave lover

+4
If that person is so controlling that they want you to leave your family then they are dangerous. They are trying to isolate you so that they can claim you as their property. This is an abuser in the making. It may hurt now but get away from this person now. Do some research on line of abusers. You will see your story surface again and again.

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Diamond Girl 2012/08/21 17:03:18

undecided

+3
I was married at the age of 19, my Husband went straight into the military, so in that case I had no choice but to go where my Husband was stationed, every situation is different, but being unmarried I would NEVER leave my family for the unknown and the uncertainty of a relationship.

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jgh57 to Diamond... 2012/08/21 17:31:05

+1
But did he require you to sever ties with your family? My parents were military as well. We were in California and my Grandparents were in Mississippi. There was always contact by phone or mail. When Dad was on sea duty we went back to Mississippi until he was sate side again.

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Diamond... to jgh57 2012/08/21 17:33:21

No, but that is not how I read the question.

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jgh57 to Diamond... 2012/08/21 17:39:12

+1
You may be right. I'm reading it as he does not want her to have contact with her family.

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Diamond... to jgh57 2012/08/21 17:41:02

+1
I read it as if he wanted her to move away from them. Funny how two people reading the same thing have different interpretation of the question. Now you know why i love my profession so much. the mind works in mysterious ways...lol

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jgh57 to Diamond... 2012/08/21 17:44:51

+1
Yes it does. What is your profession?

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Diamond... to jgh57 2012/08/21 17:45:23

Psychiatrist, and do NOT hold that against me...lol

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jgh57 to Diamond... 2012/08/21 17:46:55

+1
Lol. I don't. I'm a RN. Our hospital has a psychiatric floor so I work with Psychiatrist on a daily basis.

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Diamond... to jgh57 2012/08/21 17:52:03

+1
Nice to meet another person in the Medical profession.

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Dave**G... to Diamond... 2012/08/21 17:50:00

+2
I agree with both of you, there was insufficient information provided, it could be interpreted either way. Thus my comment above!

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cowboy 2012/08/21 16:59:03

undecided

+2
If your not married, he/she shouldn't be a lover.

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SoCalEx-Dem 2012/08/21 15:13:14

undecided

+1
Its pretty normal to get married and leave your parents house. For someone to want to take the place of your family, you need to be wary!

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Sista Nunya 2012/08/21 15:04:52
ALofRI 2012/08/21 13:52:29

undecided

First, you have to ask yourself "honestly", what is his / her motive, secondly, that is a decision no-one but YOU should be making. I left mine at 17, with good reason, NOT because somebody ELSE thought I should. Think for yourself, being "manipulated" by someone else is much like being bullied emotionally.

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peaches 2012/08/21 13:26:07

undecided

Well it kinda depends on my age. I'm 16 now, so leaving my family would be unrealistic...
It kinda just depends on the whole situation. If there were a good reason for me to leave my family, or if my significant other was just being selfish... If they just wanna move in with me or if they actually want me to cutoff contact with my family. Chances are, I wouldn't leave anybody, a compromise could be made.

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bags the Indigenous Guru 2012/08/21 13:11:24

undecided

+3
If by leaving parents and moving in with them is what you mean....that's fine. If it's anything else, if they in any way, wish to diminish your relationship with your parents....kick him to the curb. If a man can separate you from your family he can isolate you. This is the action of an abusive, controlling individual. Run.

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BonnieDeutsch 2012/08/21 13:05:07

undecided

+1
There is not enough information for me to give a solid answer. How long have you been together, has your family been mean to this person, etc.

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Temlakos~POTL~PWCM~JLA~☆ 2012/08/21 12:55:47

leave lover

+2
I want to bring someone home, have family dinners, all the rest of that.

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Swan Eshdeh 2012/08/21 12:31:45

undecided

+2
they can't ask such thing in my opinion .it is not their right.

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frozenKmadness 2012/08/21 12:25:35

undecided

+2
Depends on the lover, depends on our age, depends on what are they suggesting in return... It Depends.

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NightWish1976 2012/08/21 11:53:50 (edited)

undecided

Depends on how good your family is.

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justagudguy~PWCM~JLA 2012/08/21 10:31:34
Luke 2012/08/21 10:06:19

leave lover

+3
They do not love you if they make that kind of demands and are looking out for only themselves. Unless your family is like the Mansons or completly crazy.

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JCD aka "biz" 2012/08/21 09:16:51

undecided

+3
You're a post-graduate student, you're an adult. Why does this person want you to leave your family? How long have you known him? Do you know his parents? His friends? Is he also a student, or does he have a job? If you left your mom and dad, would you be living far from your family and friends? Would you be able to see them often, like once a week?
Do you feel that he likes to be in control?

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Pat 2012/08/21 07:45:28

undecided

+2
I would need more information to offer any kind of advise. It sounds like you are very young and perhaps the other person is young also. Your ages and your maturity would be important in making a decision to leave your parents' home. Are you going to be married? If not, stay home with your parents. If there is a problem and your parents don't want you to marry this person, you need to find out why and decide if their reasons are at all legitimate. I would not do anything without a lot of thinking and being sure that you can live with the results of you decision. You might find yourself without your friend and unable to go home again and that would not be good.

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Drebi 2012/08/21 07:05:25

undecided

What do you mean by 'leave your family'? Like totally isolate yourself from them or just stop living with them? My parents were abusive but I would not give anyone the power to control me, in the aspect of who I choose to interact with.

I'd leave a lover before I isolated myself from my "kids" (sister and cousin) or even my parents for that matter just because they "wanted me to". What kind of mindless dribble is that? If someone loved you they would not expect or coerce you to do anything against your will (that you didn't want to do). If they did, it's not because they love you, it's because they want to control you. In which case, I suggest you leave asap.

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I AM A TROUBLEMAKER 2012/08/21 06:51:58

leave lover

MY PARENTS LOVE ME MORE THAN ANYONE AND I TOO LOVE THEM MORE THEN ANYONE..................

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♥ J*e*s*s*i*c*a he is m... 2012/08/21 06:39:08

leave lover

leave with my Amazing boy friend

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