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If you are financially able to be a stay at home parent and both parents want it, is is mooching off of your spouse to do that?

☆ElenaDiamond☆ 2012/07/11 04:38:21
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LOL, just had a user call me a mooch, because my husband and I both decided that being a stay at home mom was a priority for us. We never had any government assistance, and his job provided plenty for us financially. Yet this user thinks I should've worked anyway, even though my husband was happy with the decision and I was happy with the decision.

What kind of foolishness is this. :-)
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  • Pat 2012/08/03 03:26:49
    No of course not.
    Pat
    +1
    Being at home with children is a very important job requiring a lot of work, thought, planning and energy. If one parent can stay home it's great for the child and good for the parent too.
  • the_old_coach 2012/08/03 02:50:02
    No of course not.
    the_old_coach
    Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, Elena. It is no one's business what you and your hubby decide to do with your lives.

    Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
  • lucythetooth 2012/08/03 02:40:47
    No of course not.
    lucythetooth
    +1
    If you both decided that you staying home was the best course of action, then no, you're not 'mooching' off your husband. If however, you just refused to get a job and your husband clearly wanted you to work, then yeah, you'd be mooching. As long as both parties agree on the situation, then one cannot be said to be taking advantage of the other.
  • Brosia 2012/08/03 02:20:56
    No of course not.
    Brosia
    +1
    If you are satisfied, and you can make ends meet with one income, you are very lucky. That person is just jealous because you figured out what is important to you and your family and they haven't yet.
  • the judgebigdogeagle 2012/07/11 13:23:49
    No of course not.
    the judgebigdogeagle
    +3
    If the Dad thinks also it is best for the children.Nope
  • MlssCue =Go Blue= 2012/07/11 12:54:05
    No of course not.
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +2
    Key point here, this person is not the person you're married to, nor is this person the one who pays your bills. Therefore, it's none of their business!!!
  • ☆ElenaD... MlssCue... 2012/07/11 20:04:07
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +2
    Definitely true.
  • MlssCue... ☆ElenaD... 2012/08/03 04:44:55
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    Also... my view has always been, if I am not the one raising my kids then I am leaving it up to society to do and that is a very scary thought!!
  • ParkMan 2012/07/11 12:26:20
    No of course not.
    ParkMan
    +3
    The parents are a team with different responsibilities. The working parent is responsible to bring in income. The stay at home parent manages the household.

    Being a stay at home parent is a tremendous committment and provides so much value to the children as well as the working spouse.

    No, it most certainly is not mooching.
  • Ben 2012/07/11 12:18:14
    No of course not.
    Ben
    +2
    Not at all. In fact there is strong evidence to show that your kids will be benefitting in the long run a LOT more from having you around the whole time than they would with any babysitter. You've made a decision that many couples have had to make and you should not feel guilty in the slightest.
  • wolf sloan 2012/07/11 12:16:12
    No of course not.
    wolf sloan
    +3
    Part of today's problems are a result of fewer stay at home parents.
  • ☆ElenaD... wolf sloan 2012/07/11 12:50:45
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +3
    I agree.
  • MlssCue... wolf sloan 2012/08/03 04:41:06
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    Very true.
  • Robbb 2012/07/11 09:37:48
    No of course not.
    Robbb
    +3
    It sounds to me like you care more about your kids then you do bout the extra cash.It is good for kids to come home to at least one parrent after school. The kids belong to the spouse as well you know. Beside why should you work if you dont need to?
  • Pinball Wizard 2012/07/11 08:17:17
    Go to work and leave your kids with a babysitter.
    Pinball Wizard
    My Dad had to quit school in the 8th grade to help his parents, working at a near by dairy farm. Mom graduated. In the 1950s to the 90s, both my parents had to work at their well paying but, tough jobs so, they could afford to have a simple 3 bedroom home built, on a acre they bought from my Dad's parents, by the time I entered the 1st grade. The home was paid off in 10 years & it now has double pane windows & is totally electric. They "own" & drive a 2009 & 2012 Focus, now.
  • ☆ElenaD... Pinball... 2012/07/11 12:56:47
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    Which has what to do with your answer choice. My finances are in order. We have everything we need and enough left over to have fun and Go on vacation. We have quite enough money.
  • AM 2012/07/11 07:24:46
    No of course not.
    AM
    +3
    I was told that I was "Wasting my education"though.Ridiculous really as if having an educated mother to raise and teach my children was a bad thing.
  • ben 2012/07/11 06:40:46
    No of course not.
    ben
    +2
    It's an old fashioned way of running a household.. but my wife hasn't worked since about 92'..and yes we agreed that she would be home for the kids when school was out.. parent teacher meetings... dissolve any issues regarding the children...we have 5..and she hasn't worked ever since.
  • cmdrbnd007 2012/07/11 05:36:41
    No of course not.
    cmdrbnd007
    +3
    I think it is probably the ideal situation for the family.
  • Flor de Luna 2012/07/11 05:19:58
    No of course not.
    Flor de Luna
    +3
    I'm a stay at home mom and it works very well for our family.
  • Fef 2012/07/11 05:18:16
    No of course not.
    Fef
    +2
    You owe it to the kids and spouse to directly care for the kids.
    anne romney kids
  • ☆ElenaD... Fef 2012/07/11 12:58:01
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    Thank you. I feel the same. Ann Romney is an amazing woman.
  • gracious43 2012/07/11 05:14:31
    No of course not.
    gracious43
    +2
    You are making a very wise choice. I know it can be lonely sometimes, but you will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams. Just remember when all of your working friends start talking about how busy and important they are at work, that they probably aren't as much as they are saying that they are; and most days they would rather be staying home like you.
  • ☆ElenaD... gracious43 2012/07/11 13:02:23
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +1
    I have not been lonely at all. I have friends and we have "play dates" . I have family, and thankfully we are close.
  • ☆The Rock☆ * AFCL* The Sher... 2012/07/11 05:10:09 (edited)
    No of course not.
    ☆The Rock☆ * AFCL* The Sheriff!!
    +3
    Me and my wife have 5 girls and we bought a new home 6 years ago and got 2 cars paid off..Not new cars but reliable..My girls pass down their clothes but they dress as nice as any kid in their school..In a couple of more years when my 3 year old gets in Kidgarden my wife will go back to work!
  • the jud... ☆The Ro... 2012/07/11 13:37:16
    the judgebigdogeagle
    +2
    I hope she does not go through what I have been through for the last 4 years. Not a parent,but I was a caretaker for my Dad.My brothers would not help him abit.His health was on decline & needed 24/7 care & watching. After he died,I cannot find a job because of the 15 years I was at home. A friend who runs an employment agency says that I am suffering from Stay at home Mom syndrome.Apparently they think our working skills have diminished.
    Not so.
  • firebird 2012/07/11 05:09:14
    No of course not.
    firebird
    +3
    IF both agree on it then I think its wonderful. It sounds to me like the user was VERY JEALOUS !!! just don't pay any attention to the haters and green goo spewers.. they cant seem to control themselves......
  • ☆ElenaD... firebird 2012/07/11 05:13:43
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +1
    True. I just thought it was funny. First time I have ever been called a moocher for being a stay at home mom.
  • sockpuppet 2012/07/11 05:06:49
    No of course not.
    sockpuppet
    +3
    You and your husband are A-OK in my book. That's exactly how I would have done it, had I chosen to spawn. It's how my parents did when they had me. You won't have to miss out on anything. Excellent choice!
  • ☆ElenaD... sockpuppet 2012/07/11 05:07:29
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +2
    Thank you!!
  • Walt 2012/07/11 04:58:01
    No of course not.
    Walt
    +2
    I would tell the person who told you that to kiss your ass and consider the response an adequate counterpoint.
  • ☆ElenaD... Walt 2012/07/11 04:59:26
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +2
    Thank you.
  • Inquisitve Kat 2012/07/11 04:40:01
    No of course not.
    Inquisitve Kat
    +3
    Some people are just plain idiots.
    I think it's perfectly acceptable, if that's what works for your family.
  • ☆ElenaD... Inquisi... 2012/07/11 04:42:20
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +5
    It did work for our family. I have loved every moment of it. I think any one who is able and WANTS to, should.

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