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I have a fear of the end of my life...how do you deal with your fears, if you have any?

Jack's Pearl 2012/11/13 13:01:45
I don't have any heart stopping fears.
Mine is this...and I deal this way.
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I'm serious in asking this. Ever since my mom passed and I watched the end of her life be so difficult, not to mention cut short, I've feared death at times. To the point where thinking about it actually makes my heart race, because we will all face it, and for me my moms death was and still is, in ways, difficult to deal with.

I know having fear is crippling. This is the only one that truly causes a reaction in me. I've even discussed it with a counselor and she simply stated, "Don't give in to fear. It's completely paralyzing and for no good reason." Well, that makes sense to me because I know how this fear feels when it hits.

Ok, so how do you deal with serious fears? (if you have any). Do you experience fear over something in life that really makes your heart race? What are your fears?

Thank you for reading!
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  • Leona Hill 2012/11/13 14:59:19
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    Leona Hill
    +4
    I have no fear of death. I do have some concerns about "how" I die. I would prefer it not be some horrible disease. I would also prefer not to be helpless and have to be taken care of. I think that before I would do that to my kids I would take some quick and easy way out.

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  • RogerRover 2012/11/17 00:02:12
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    RogerRover
    +1
    I used to have fears that I might die without having provided enough life insurance to provide for my family in such an event. I'm now 69 and have outlived my wife and that is gone. Until I was 35, I had some major uncertainties, even major fears of facing eternity, even though I was raised in an ultra religious environment. An experience at age 35 caused me to be completely relieved of any fears. Now I have not only great peace, but a tinge of anticipation regarding going from time into eternity. I DO have concerns (not fears) as to possibility of my becoming burdensome to my children or others. I just read a most delightful book entitled 'Heaven is real' by Todd Burpo recounting his three year old son's 3 minute visit to Heaven (after his appendix had burst) that is a very good read.
  • sandra 2012/11/16 15:14:40
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    sandra
  • sandra sandra 2012/11/16 15:18:20
    sandra
    +1
    sorry b my keyboard is no working well, i need roo=42f4==4`his is what haens when i =42click he 4=back bon 4=42bon hel helb
  • Captain-Morgan 2012/11/15 22:55:30
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    Captain-Morgan
    +1
    I HAVE NONE OF THOSE TYPE FEAR'S... LOOK FORWARD TO MY FINAL LESSION IN LIFE.. AND WILL WALK THROUGH THAT OPEN DOOR... IT'S GOT TO BE EASIER THAN SQUEEEZING THROUGH THE ONE INTO THIS WORLD... ASK ANY MOTHER..
    AND IT'S A GOOD THING WE CAN'T REMEMBER THAT TRIP COMING IN..
  • Jack's ... Captain... 2012/11/15 23:08:22
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    I am a mother, and although that was rough, I have no idea what it was for my daughter. Thank goodness they don't remember! WE don't remember. LOL I guess that's how death is.
  • Captain... Jack's ... 2012/11/16 00:56:01
    Captain-Morgan
    +1
    MAY BE THAT IS WHY WE DON'T REMEMBER IT... IF WE DID WHO WOULD WANT TO SUBJECT OUR UNBORN CHILD TO THAT KIND OF PAIN? AS FOR DEATH, SOME THAT HAVE DIED, AND HAVE COME BACK FROM DEATH DO REMEMBER IT, AND HOW IT WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE..
  • Billy the kid 2012/11/15 13:29:04
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    Billy the kid
    +1
    We are all human and as such "fear" is a very natural and understandable emotion that many of us experience throughout our lives.Yours, apparently,is of "death". Different people's fears can take many different forms-sometimes those fears can seem irrational to others but regardless of that are very real to those who suffer from them.
    My own little "antidote" to fear is best summed up by the simple philosophy: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself"
    Invariably it works for me....
  • Jack's ... Billy t... 2012/11/15 15:51:25
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    Thank you for your time. I agree. That's how I look at all things really. Just this one causes me more pause and I'm working on it.
  • Billy t... Jack's ... 2012/11/15 16:52:59
    Billy the kid
    +1
    You'll get there,kiddo. You'll get there..!
  • gracious43 2012/11/14 18:34:01
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    gracious43
    +1
    1 John 4:18
    There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
  • Jack's ... gracious43 2012/11/14 18:40:45 (edited)
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    That isn't it for me. But thanks!
  • Swampdog PWCM 2012/11/14 18:12:06
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    Swampdog PWCM
    +1
    I attack my fears, as a child I was afraid of spiders, I read every book I could find on spiders,and when I finished the third grade I was no longer afraid of spiders. That one little lesson (self taught I might add) has helped me through life in many ways.
  • Jack's ... Swampdo... 2012/11/14 18:26:11
    Jack's Pearl
    I wonder what I could read about death?
  • Swampdo... Jack's ... 2012/11/14 19:11:39
    Swampdog PWCM
    +1
    Elisabeth Kubler Ross has many books on the subject. If you are religious you may wish to speak to a minister, Rabbi, preacher, pastor, what ever. I just talk to GOD. You will be in my prayers dear friend.
  • Fenris 2012/11/14 13:31:21 (edited)
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    Fenris
    +1
    Sure I´ve got some fears and I try dealing with them in many different ways!
    Death is off course something that I can never prevent one day I WILL die all I can hope for is that when it comes I will not have too many bad or unresolved things when it DOES happens!
  • ttfndude 2012/11/14 12:35:25
  • Jack's ... ttfndude 2012/11/14 12:37:53
    Jack's Pearl
    Thank you! I like to sky dive! LOL
  • Carl 2012/11/14 08:28:14
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    Carl
    +1
    I must admit that after my near death experience, I have a different view of death. Do to a medical error, I should have died but didn't. I was sent back but before that occurred, I experienced true peace which does go beyond human understanding.

    The experience helped me to understand that death is a natural event that you can not avoid when living your life to its fullest. Live each day to its fullest is my motto!!!
  • Catnip 2012/11/14 04:22:29 (edited)
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    Catnip
    +1
    I fear losing loved ones more than myself. Watching my Mom go through stage 4 lung cancer was tearing my heart out!
  • Jack's ... Catnip 2012/11/14 12:32:15
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    I understand that completely. LIke I said above, my moms death effected me very deeply. I just wish I didn't pick up this fear of what my end will be like! For some reason I did.
  • Catnip Jack's ... 2012/11/15 18:11:58
    Catnip
    +1
    I try not to think about it. When it happens, it happens. There's nothing we can do about it. Just enjoy the time you have.
  • JoLost 2012/11/14 03:25:03
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    JoLost
    +2
    Get over it. Reality may suck in the end, but why worry about something that will eventually happen, be aware, informed and proactive in maintaining a safe and healthy life and live for the day.....
  • Jack's ... JoLost 2012/11/14 03:46:25
    Jack's Pearl
    I'm really trying. And this really has helped me today. Just talking about it. Hearing all kinds of other great thoughts to fill in my fearful ones. And all areas of my life are doing well. I really have a great time and enjoy life. But this one thing eats at me a bit and I'm tired of it! I skydive for Pete's sake! Never worried about dying from that. Faced death in the face some would say. What is going on?? LOL
  • JoLost Jack's ... 2012/11/15 07:51:45
    JoLost
    +1
    Oh my, I didnt mean how it reads.. "Get over it" was a direct answer to the question.. "how do you deal..." and how I cope with my fears by rationalizing and proactively establishing goals to lesson the impact that fear in particular has on me. (dying)

    I know it reads as if I am telling you to get over it, but honestly, thats not how I want you to take it. I am sorry for how that reads.

    "I get over it" is how I should have originally wrote it. You're doing a great job. I think about dying everyday.. not obsessively mind you, but all my "male" cousins on my fathers side are dead, my brothers wife just passed, my high school gf died in car accident, And I read about people in their 30's dropping like flies regularly. I get spasm in the chest and I am like "here it comes"...

    I get you have these moments were its haunting..... You just gotta shake it off and distract yourself from that train of thought.

    Sorry again for that overtly brash sounding grammatical error


    Distraction... or you could try hypnosis? "grin"

    Break that habit.

    And thanks for sharing.
  • Jack's ... JoLost 2012/11/15 13:11:27
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    That's ok. I didn't take your "get over it" statement that literally. TY so much for your time on the thread. :)
  • LayLady 2012/11/14 01:52:20 (edited)
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    LayLady
    +2
    Nobody can fathom what happens when you die. That's the scary part for me. (Not breathing, thinking, doing, moving) is completely unfathomable. I don't see death as an end. I see it as a new beginning. I also believe we were all living and breathing on another plane of existence before birth. Where? No one knows or remembers.
  • Tattoo Nana 2012/11/14 00:15:37
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    Tattoo Nana
    +1
    I am mortally afraid of specific spiders, i know many people have this fear but I will literally freeze and am unable to act - one of kids was almost bitten at age 10 due to my fear. I will NEVER forgive myself for not acting in a manner to help my child.

    I can completely understand your fear of death, especially since you dealt with it directly with your Mom. I think most any person would share the fear if they had been in your shoes. I don't know what your Religious beliefs are, if you believe in Heaven then it may help you to envision your Mom in Heaven and meditate daily envisioning her being happy and pain free.

    Don't discount the fact that you are fearful - you ARE allowed to have fear. It's very good that you are facing your fear and can talk about it - this is how you will overcome the fear. I am sending warm thoughts your way! The best thing you can do is to face your fear and work on overcoming it, you'll make it and will succeed!! :)
  • Jack's ... Tattoo ... 2012/11/14 00:29:54
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    You are very sweet. And truthful. TY!
  • none 2012/11/14 00:08:15
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    none
    +1
    No point in fearing death, you can do nothing about it, it's going to happen some day.
  • Jack's ... none 2012/11/14 00:09:24
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    I know this. Problem is it still get's to me at times! LOL Hence the whole discussion here.
  • syl 2012/11/14 00:05:56
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    syl
    +1
    You may be having panic attacks, in which case you could get something from your Dr. to help. The loss of a loved one can put such stressors on the body, the body can break down, along with everything else.

    My fear was losing my loved ones, especially my kids. I had lost my 17 yr old brother, when I was 13, then my other brother, & mom then my dad by 2006.
    My very worst fears happened when I lost my son & daughter in a car crash. The unthinkable happened, my life is gone-life as I knew it ceased to exist. I've been mad at God for letting it happen, yet I know that I'll see my kids in heaven, because of God.

    I believe what the Bible says about heaven-there'll be no sadness or tears, no sorrow, or parting there-peace forevermore, joy, no pain or sickness. We'll see our loved ones there, & everything will be perfect-we will know as we are known, the Bible says.

    People have the CHOICE of whether they want to believe or not.
  • Jack's ... syl 2012/11/14 00:15:45
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    Thank you so much. You are right...I did have serious panic attacks and a lot happened to me after the death of my mom, among other huge life changes. Marriage (nice, but a change at the time), and moving across the country when my mom was sick. She died just three months before we had our daughter Zoe. :(

    Anyway, I got off track, my point is that I found out four years ago that I have bipolar. Ever since getting treated all my major anxiety went away. The serious panic, or in my case, mania, has pretty much dissolved. I am so thankful!

    But, I guess this still get's to me in small ways. It's small because I can feel it choke me up a bit, but it's not full blown mania anymore. Just a fear and I hate fear! I really am not a fearful person. I skydive for heavens sake! And not once did I think I could die! LOL

    This whole inevitable dying thing sort of bothers me a little too much still. I guess it's natural from what I witnessed with my mom. It hurts so much when someone that close to you passes and it's not a pleasant passing. I guess that's where the fear stems. I can feel it because she was my mother. Although, I have to say, my dad tells me she was smiling and at peace in the end. She wasn't in pain anymore because of wonderful meds. :) If dying is like that I have nothing to worry about. I just fear it won't be.
  • syl Jack's ... 2012/11/14 19:41:30
    syl
    +1
    My son remaining son has alot of constant anxiety, & panic attacks. He's never been able to get grief counseling, which I think is important, but he's never gotten medical help either since the tragedy-he needs both!!!
    I can't face this new "reality", but I can't take anti-depressants, so I just face one day at a time.
    Perhaps my son has the bi-polar issue too, I hadn't thought of that.
    Thank you for sharing a personal part of your life, that helps others!
  • Jack's ... syl 2012/11/14 20:18:38
    Jack's Pearl
    I was treated for anxiety for a few years before my bipolar diagnosis. Anxious people tend to be able to sleep. Or if they one night of bad sleep they can sleep the next night or day. When I was diagnosed, before coming to the hospital I had been up for 6 or 7 nights! NO SLEEP AT ALL. That's the difference between mania and anxiety. Also the fact that by far most of these mental challenged disappeared after taking the meds for bipolar. My Dr. told me if we didn't have the right diagnosis these meds wouldn't do anything. That was it for me. I knew treating bipolar was my answer.

    And, you are welcome! Thank you for sharing with me. I do feel like I have overcome some big obstacles that some never accept in their life. But then they are in pain. Some can die without help. Or just have a unnecessary painful life. If we all share our stories we will be much wiser, especially those that listen and learn from what others say. Like with illness.
  • syl Jack's ... 2012/11/14 20:59:25
    syl
    +1
    There's a couple of books I read that were really good-& really amazing! One was a little boy who had a NDE as he was getting operated on. Awesome;

    "Heaven Is For Real" by Tod Burpo ( the little fella's dad"

    "90 Minutes In Heaven" by Don Piper

    This one's about a man who died in a car crash-the officer pronounced him dead, & they threw a tarp over the car to await the coroner later. There were alot of cars involved.
    Even though he was dead for 90 min. he had no resulting brain injury from the lack of oxygen or blood to the brain-a miracle in itself.

    Both are really good, true accounts of a wonderful, loving God waiting for us. I think you would really enjoy them, & be comforted in your life's journey!
  • syl Jack's ... 2012/11/14 21:43:42
    syl
    +1
    Yes, I have found that alot of people don't want to hear about pain, or hurting, etc. They have a short attention span when it comes to those topics, or being willing to suffer with a person who is suffering-the empathy disappears quickly. Yet the person who is going through it, needs the empathy & compassion of others to help them make it through just one day!
    Often the platitudes are used, but there is no care behind the words. This compounds the pain.
    I think a book should be written about how to care, & show care, love, compassion & empathy, to people who have suffered loss-of a loved one is the worst.
    Many people have no idea what someone is going through, or how long it should take to get through the grieving process.

    Losing parents is something we know we have to face.
    A parent losing children is something that we shouldn't have to face. The pain is beyond comprehension-it's unfathomable. Losing my son & my daughter is beyond anything I can say. Not only did I about die myself from losing them, but also for them losing THEIR lives-their futures, their hopes & dreams.
    So I suffer PTSD still-probably will for the rest of my life-& my life & future are shattered as if a bomb went off underfoot.
    And I don't know why this had to happen to my son & daughter, & to me.
  • Andrew 2012/11/13 23:45:19
    Mine is this...and I deal this way.
    Andrew
    +1
    It was death but then I realized that death isn't so scary if you have accepted Christ as your Savior and repent of your sins.
  • Jack's ... Andrew 2012/11/14 00:17:17
    Jack's Pearl
    My fear of death has nothing to do with sins or Christ. It has to do with ending my life in pain and agony. If I don't have that, I will be at peace. I will be happy just thinking of my life and being with family and friends. But if I'm in agony it will be such a sad ending and I won't be in peace.
  • Andrew Jack's ... 2012/12/20 07:19:58
    Andrew
    Well that's just what I believe. I believe it because when I die I don't want to spend eternity in hell. Not that I'm saying you will go there but it's the truth.
  • Frank 2012/11/13 23:38:51
    I don't have any heart stopping fears.
    Frank
    +1
    Death and taxes. Deal with it and accept it........... In the meanwhile try to live as good a life as possible and accept Gods words.....

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