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I farted in my hand and "threw" it at my wife and now she won't talk to me?

greg 2010/03/15 03:48:20
Guys do you fart in front of your wife? I think it's OK to fart in front of my wife but she said it's not normal. She even asked people in her office, and they agree with her, but what do you expect from a bunch of ladies?

Well the real problem was the other day when my mother-in-law came over for dinner and I sort of wasn't thinking, and ripped a medium-sized fart. It wasn't that bad, really. I mean it stunk a little but it wasn't one of those that makes your eyes water. But her mother carried on like it was the end of the world. "Oh my God, he farted! He farted!" She was yelling so loud, I'll bet all the neighbors could hear the old bag.

Anyway, wife got pretty upset and now anytime I fart, she starts some drama. Like last night I felt one coming on so I "grabbed" it and threw it in her face. Now she won't talk to me. I tried to explain but she just won't listen.

Guys help me out here. You fart around your wife, don't you?
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Top Opinion

  • jyron 2012/12/10 01:28:36
    jyron
    +7
    man i fart around my wife all the time, she thinks its funny, hell she farts around me all the time too soooo i would say ur gonna have to introduce her to the fart game properly

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  • toro the man 2014/02/23 12:25:05
    toro the man
    +1
    your question is more complicated than its sound, ok here is my answer, actually it depends where did you fart, if its happened in your couch, office, bathroom, your bed side ...etc its ok since its your property and no one tell here to get closer to your own kingdom, beside its good reason to get her away from you for a wile .
  • cuteface 2013/12/17 04:18:30 (edited)
  • Bobbb 2013/11/29 16:22:43
    Bobbb
    I fart around my wife all the time in bed, its perfectly normal for example one time when we were sleeping i farted really loud and it smelled like poop and then i shoved her head under the blanket
  • jgm 2013/06/16 00:53:28
    jgm
    +3
    my wife thinks my farts are cute but hers reek lol. when u have to fart make her laugh before you let it rip
  • joe 2013/03/16 22:53:05
    joe
    +1
    Top bloke
  • jyron 2012/12/10 01:28:36
    jyron
    +7
    man i fart around my wife all the time, she thinks its funny, hell she farts around me all the time too soooo i would say ur gonna have to introduce her to the fart game properly
  • doomsquirrel 2012/11/02 20:04:31 (edited)
    doomsquirrel
    +3
    i give her the old dutch oven, every thing short of sitting on her face and letting it rip
  • caroline hornigold 2012/09/03 00:42:28
    caroline hornigold
    +3
    Lol , what were you trying to explain?!!!
    I;ll bet you didn't fart around her when you first met?!
  • mia 2012/04/27 19:39:11
    mia
    +1
    That's really silly! My boyfriend farts but I don't mind I just say nothing but pull a weird face haha! Like someone said here, if he threw it in my face I would burst it laughing there's not really a fart on you there's just a hand throwing an invisible thing it's not going in ure face! Anyway my advice is to give it some time and get her a nice bunch of flowers!
  • paul 2012/02/18 06:55:31
    paul
    +1
    let er rip
  • 2011/04/12 14:32:04
    +3
    I fart all the time. If they dont like tell em to go jump. It like saying breathing isn't normal. Also i think that every time she bitches about farting you should throw the next one in her face... every time. Just to teach her, it could be worse.
  • Gamalielrevlorio 2010/11/06 01:01:03
    Gamalielrevlorio
    +3
    i dont. couse i dont have a wife, but i think is so nasty.. i threw fart. but i make it slow. and no bady know. who did it, when i think it will stink out, im better go to the bathroom.. so you know. mine always stink hehehe.. bye bye.. give er few days..
  • Catgirl 2010/03/15 22:29:11
  • Mom2Three 2010/03/15 21:23:26
    Mom2Three
    my husband does not fart around me becaseu its nasty
  • Fingon Celebrindal 2010/03/15 15:37:21
    Fingon Celebrindal
    +1
    If Superman had a mother-in-law he would have developed immunity against kryptonite.
  • Lily 2010/03/15 15:37:08
    Lily
    +1
    Lack of decorum and manners. Need anything more be said.
  • B.S. Detector 2010/03/15 15:03:03
    B.S. Detector
    +3
    Nobody likes things thrown at them....next time be a Gentleman and hand it to her ; )
  • B.S. De... 2011/09/26 09:59:51
  • ofbraindoiLack 2010/03/15 10:18:24
    ofbraindoiLack
    I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.
  • JCD aka "biz" 2010/03/15 10:04:33
    JCD aka "biz"
    She should REALLY give you a sound whipping!
  • ZombieCinderella 2010/03/15 06:17:13
    ZombieCinderella
    +3
    That's silly. My boyfriend has no shame in farting around me and my immediate family, but I mean, he's with us so much, he's practically part of our family. I think when you can handle each other's "odors," that's a sign of true love and complete acceptance (as someone already pointed out here)

    And if my boyfriend "threw" it at me, I would probably burst out laughing. But maybe I'm not the most mature person out there. Oh well.
  • ZombieC... 2011/09/26 10:00:31
    +3
    YOU ARE CORRECT!
  • brass-monkey 2010/03/15 05:51:47
    brass-monkey
    +4
    lmao are you familiar with the baker`s oven you do this while your in bed and when you ripp one yanksthe blanket over her head --gaurenteed not get laid for a loooooong time lmao only guy`s can appreciate that one
  • Maggie ... brass-m... 2010/03/15 07:18:07
    Maggie ~ Bleeding Heart Sympathizer
    +3
    Haha sick. My ex did this to me all the the time. I wasn't aware that anyone else subjected their spouse to this sort of abuse or that there was an "official" name for it.
  • TaxCode... Maggie ... 2010/03/15 07:24:53
    TaxCodeIsLaw
    +1
    I've always heard it referred to as a dutch oven. Made for an interesting conversation when my visiting nephews discussed their fondness for my brother-in-law's dutch oven.
  • Maggie ... TaxCode... 2010/03/15 07:26:10
    Maggie ~ Bleeding Heart Sympathizer
    +3
    You would know the correct term...!
  • TaxCode... Maggie ... 2010/03/15 07:28:29
    TaxCodeIsLaw
    +1
    Correct term and proper technique
  • Maggie ... TaxCode... 2010/03/15 07:30:09
    Maggie ~ Bleeding Heart Sympathizer
    +3
    hahahahah
  • Duke----The Non Racist, Fun... 2010/03/15 05:44:29
    Duke----The Non Racist, Funny Duke !
    +2
    Oh yes I fart all the time around her. Hell I had to teach her how to fart, but now I'm kind of regretting that i did teach her the art of farting because now she can fart with the best of them. haha
  • bLuE* 2010/03/15 05:20:12
    bLuE*
    lmao! thats just hilarious! how old r u? :o) well, when a guy farts its more acceptable than when a woman does it but try not to. ur making it seem like ur 'used to' being around each other. like u dont care wat she thinks of u etc :o) yeah i hate when ppl make a big fuss! she IS the old fart! lol
  • mach 2010/03/15 05:01:01
    mach
    I never fart around my wife, it's always the sound of the chair, or my pants ripping. And that dog of ours is one big gas hound!
  • mach 2011/09/26 10:01:42
    +4
    Yea blame it on the dog. lol
  • Lunacat 2010/03/15 04:51:34
    Lunacat
    +2
    Hahahaha! I'm sure she'll get over it.

    hahahaha
  • Jackie 2010/03/15 04:46:04
    Jackie
    +1
    I am a woman. and though single, I will fart in front of practically anyone. I think your wife should have no issues. Truthfully, I dont think anyone should have issues with flatuents, for christ sake, its natural ! By the way, it seems any in-law just looks for reasons to bitch.
  • Jackie 2011/09/26 10:02:23
    +3
    So fu--en true!
  • Kurbdog 2010/03/15 04:40:55
    Kurbdog
    +1
    Some people just have no sense of humor.My wife was not amused at first............but she now understands,and sometimes lets one loose,her and my sister are the best at burps though...........but not in public, only at family functions.when someone under 5 feet and 100 pounds can do that well.................trust me its funny!
  • DinoDino 2010/03/15 04:38:51 (edited)
    DinoDino
    +3
    I do, in self defense. She farts around me just as much as I do around her. It's an equal battle. I went to dinner the other night at a friends and he ripped one in front of his wife and I laughed. He said he does it all the time and has her rate them by stench. She started laughing and denied it.
  • flaca BN-0 2010/03/15 04:06:25
    flaca BN-0
    +3
    it's a sign of acceptance and true love.
  • Maggie ~ Bleeding Heart Sym... 2010/03/15 03:59:53
    Maggie ~ Bleeding Heart Sympathizer
    +6
    LMFAO. My ex-husband farted in front me all the time and usually seemed pretty proud of himself afterward. Most of the time I just laughed unless he did something disgusting like pull the covers over my head and trap me, but your wife is being a little extreme about it. I grew up with a Dad and two brothers so I'm used to men and their fascination with bodily functions.
  • vVvVv MeLL!Ƨɐ vVvVv 2010/03/15 03:58:14
    vVvVv MeLL!Ƨɐ vVvVv
    thaaats niiiice..... cuz people normally talk about those things

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