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How long should a single person wait to ask out a widow/widower following the death of their spouse?

☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾ 2011/03/21 22:10:43
Related Topics: Single, Years, Death, Style
Right away like Right after the Funeral
1-6 months
6- months to a year
1-2 years
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How long should a single person wait to ask out a widow/widower following the death of their spouse?
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  • sjalan 2011/09/18 01:15:17
    6- months to a year
    sjalan
    But don't make it like your on the prowl
  • ELLIE 2011/06/04 09:42:55
    6- months to a year
    ELLIE
    In the old days people waited for a year before asking a widower/widow out, out of respect for the dead and the mourner.
  • Redskin 2011/06/02 05:21:08
    Other
    Redskin
  • LittleMistersMom 2011/06/01 18:45:52
    6- months to a year
    LittleMistersMom
    But it really depends on the person. I honestly don't know when I would be ready to date again after the death of a spouse. My friend's dad was re-married only 4 months after the death of his wife. But then again, I'm pretty sure he was with this new wife well before his first one passed away....but idk.
  • Spencer James Smith 2011/06/01 12:30:26
    Other
    Spencer James Smith
    Whenever they feel ready, it has to be different for each person. Some people will be ready right away, some might be grieving forever.
  • chasily mamissa 2011/06/01 11:23:52
    Other
    chasily mamissa
    it depends...
  • jade 2011/06/01 07:46:29
    Other
    jade
    Whatever is right for them
  • karly 2011/06/01 01:54:35
    Right away like Right after the Funeral
    karly
    +1
    why you ask me that
  • Brandon Taylor- Sides 2011/06/01 01:32:12
    Other
    Brandon Taylor- Sides
    There is not a president of nature nor what people should do with their lives. So with this in mind whenever the person is ready to heal and move on to a healthy relationship I support it.
  • cruisnsus 2011/05/31 20:47:48
    1-2 years
    cruisnsus
    one year or--
  • Scooter 2011/05/31 20:46:50
    Other
    Scooter
    When you begin to see them out trollin...
  • antoinette marie 2011/05/31 20:39:11
    Other
    antoinette marie
  • D.C.Willis 2011/05/31 20:34:12
    6- months to a year
    D.C.Willis
    I am guessing at least 6 months.
  • jOkEsOnYoU 2011/05/31 20:09:50
    1-2 years
    jOkEsOnYoU
    I meant other! *headdesk*
  • Alexei Murphy 2011/05/31 19:57:41
    Other
    Alexei Murphy
    If i was thinking of asking out a widow/widower, following the death of their spouse, i wouldn't do that till they have stopped thinking about grieving about the death of their spouse

    Because if i asked out a widow/widower straight away or something like that, then that person would instantly remember and start crying and/or grieving, and then carry on till they can not grieve any more
  • chief 00 2011/05/31 18:59:20
    Other
    chief 00
    There really is no answer to that question. Every situation is different.
  • Markie 2011/05/31 15:13:52
    1-6 months
    Markie
    Life is short, ask away
  • Micheal 2011/05/31 14:57:37
    Other
    Micheal
    it depends. you should really get to know the person first, then start off slow, then start going on dates, after that just follow your heart
  • METALheadMom 2011/05/31 14:16:01
    Other
    METALheadMom
    I think it is best to really get to know the person - it should be pretty obvious if they are ready to or not just by their conversations. If it was a not-so-good marriage I doubt the grieving would last long at all. person pretty obvious ready conversations not-so-good marriage doubt grieving
  • leslie 2011/05/31 12:30:21
    Other
    leslie
    There are a lot of sides to this question.
    Time heals all wounds, even the wounds of the loss of a spouse.
    You have to remember that there are Steps to the grief process and that no two people go through those steps in the same order or for the same length of time.
    The five stages of Grief as defined by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross are
    1 Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
    2 Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
    3 Bargaining — "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could ju...











    There are a lot of sides to this question.
    Time heals all wounds, even the wounds of the loss of a spouse.
    You have to remember that there are Steps to the grief process and that no two people go through those steps in the same order or for the same length of time.
    The five stages of Grief as defined by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross are
    1 Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
    2 Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
    3 Bargaining — "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
    4 Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
    During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
    5 Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
    In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with her/his mortality or that of a loved one.
    You have to take certain conditions into account as well.
    When the spouse died. It probably isn't a good idea to move right in at the funeral.
    How they died. If they died in an accident it is probably not a good idea to just pounce on the widow/widower. If on the other hand they died from Cancer or some other disease that they went through together, The dying spouse may have "given the remaining spouse permission to move on with their lives". I saw that a lot in many of my younger Cancer patients that I did home care on. If they are older adults regardless of the cause of death, you might want to give it some time.
    Are there children involved. If so, it helps to know how the children are handling the death of their parent. The well being of the child or children MUST BE the first priority of the remaining parent.

    My best advice is that you should get to know them well on a platonic, FRIEND LEVEL FIRST AND FOREMOST. Make it clear that you are concerned for them and want to help in any wan that you can. Gage from their response what YOUR time table should be.

    Take them on a quick lunch visit, Trip to the Park, Meet them at the pool, invite them to take a nature walk, all good daytime activities, talk about how they feel. If they are able to open up and you can get a good read on their emotional state that will be your best guide. Save the evening activities for when you have a better read on the situation.
    (more)
  • leslie 2011/05/31 12:30:16
    leslie
    There are a lot of sides to this question.
    Time heals all wounds, even the wounds of the loss of a spouse.
    You have to remember that there are Steps to the grief process and that no two people go through those steps in the same order or for the same length of time.
    The five stages of Grief as defined by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross are
    1 Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
    2 Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
    3 Bargaining — "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could ju...











    There are a lot of sides to this question.
    Time heals all wounds, even the wounds of the loss of a spouse.
    You have to remember that there are Steps to the grief process and that no two people go through those steps in the same order or for the same length of time.
    The five stages of Grief as defined by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross are
    1 Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
    2 Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
    3 Bargaining — "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
    4 Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
    During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
    5 Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
    In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with her/his mortality or that of a loved one.
    You have to take certain conditions into account as well.
    When the spouse died. It probably isn't a good idea to move right in at the funeral.
    How they died. If they died in an accident it is probably not a good idea to just pounce on the widow/widower. If on the other hand they died from Cancer or some other disease that they went through together, The dying spouse may have "given the remaining spouse permission to move on with their lives". I saw that a lot in many of my younger Cancer patients that I did home care on. If they are older adults regardless of the cause of death, you might want to give it some time.
    Are there children involved. If so, it helps to know how the children are handling the death of their parent. The well being of the child or children MUST BE the first priority of the remaining parent.

    My best advice is that you should get to know them well on a platonic, FRIEND LEVEL FIRST AND FOREMOST. Make it clear that you are concerned for them and want to help in any wan that you can. Gage from their response what YOUR time table should be.

    Take them on a quick lunch visit, Trip to the Park, Meet them at the pool, invite them to take a nature walk, all good daytime activities, talk about how they feel. If they are able to open up and you can get a good read on their emotional state that will be your best guide. Save the evening activities for when you have a better read on the situation.
    (more)
  • Kitsunehanyou 2011/05/31 11:00:11
    Other
    Kitsunehanyou
    It depends on what the person who became a widow/widower is. they might be over it in a month or a year. if they really want the person who is mourning then they should wait.
  • Chaya2010 2011/05/31 09:39:23
    Other
    Chaya2010
    I would suggest get talking to them and get to know them and how they feel. It would vary from person to person.
  • Pustic 2011/05/31 07:19:16
    Right away like Right after the Funeral
    Pustic
    +1
    Make the move before they close the casket.
  • kresge 2011/05/31 07:00:44
    Other
    kresge
    There can be no set time, as everyone grieves at a different rate and has different needs during the process.

    Two of my friends remarried within a year of the death of their spouse, and another is still grieving 4 years later. One of those friends is still very happily married, the other feels she rushed in and shouldn't have, and the grieving one is dying of lonliness so I WISH someone would ask her out!
  • WhereIsAmerica? ~PWCM~JLA 2011/05/31 05:33:32
    Other
    WhereIsAmerica? ~PWCM~JLA
    Give them at least a year to grieve, but if they had a happy marriage, they will probably be ready for another relationship, people who have good ones often establish another after about a year.
  • les_gvt 2011/05/31 04:04:06
    Other
    les_gvt
    Could be as little as a few weeks, or as long as years. It depends on each individual situation ( seems to be general consensus also)

    But you always want to remember that you will NEVER replace the one they lost. And don't ever get jealous of the deceased. If you do, you will most likely be digging your own grave
  • Captain Hindsight 2011/05/31 04:01:57 (edited)
    Other
    Captain Hindsight
    Possibly never but some people are different.

    I won't even replace my dead dog.
  • skye 2011/05/31 03:58:01
    Other
    skye
    it is a hard time if ur luv died so i would let the relation grow and make sure u let them know u r there to talk to if they need u the paitent ones r the ones that get the award in the end
  • Devin 2011/05/31 03:55:21
    Other
    Devin
    never
  • Tau_Seti 2011/03/27 18:19:55
  • KB 2011/03/27 18:15:13
    Other
    KB
    Did they help kill the ex? If so, Immediately.
  • LesWaggoner BN 1 2011/03/23 18:21:10
    1-6 months
    LesWaggoner BN 1
    Getting their mind off of things might help.
  • Odie 2011/03/22 18:27:58
    Other
    Odie
    +1
    Traditional mourning period was one year, but no one seems to follow ediquette nowadays. If you are a friend, be a friend first. Invite to coffee, a show, let them know that you are there for them as a friend who cares.
  • Linnster 2011/03/22 16:40:10
    1-2 years
    Linnster
    I think a year would be an appropriate amount of time, assuming the widow/widower was open to dating again.
  • Doc. J 2011/03/22 15:11:38
    Other
    Doc. J
    +1
    After the wake, at least.
  • MichaelRigby 2011/03/22 13:18:08 (edited)
    Other
    MichaelRigby
    DAW you ask the most difficult questions. It all depends on your morals, Ive seen brothers move in on a siblings spouse and take advantage of there grief. Personally I dont think I'd ever get in such a relationship where a spouse had died. I'd always feel like I was asking them to forget, how long would you keep the pictures up? I dont know it just doesn't seem right.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... Michael... 2011/03/23 18:22:28
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +2
    i like to challege people thinking
  • Decker ... ☥☽✪☾DAW... 2011/05/31 20:15:24
    Decker Dude
    Yeah--youre right there DAW!
  • Shawna 2011/03/22 11:19:10
    6- months to a year
    Shawna
    I think it would be different for different people. It would depend on how much they actually loved the deceased spouse and how lonely they were. I would be inclined to wait 6 months to a year and then procede cautiously. If it's meant to be it will be.

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