How important is sex in a relationship?

I don't think actual sex is as important as being intimate with each other. You can be intimate and sexual without having sex, and I think if you make too big a deal about sex, I think it makes it almost boring.

My husband and I have a very healthy sexual relationship, but we often don't have sex for weeks at a time, due to schedules and timing. But, we are always intimate, holding hands, hugging and kissing, and fondling without having sex. I feel that this has made us closer and more connected, than when we had sex all the time.

If she doesn't have an interest in it~
it's fine~
as long as she doesn't mind me going
to find what I need-want~

I am sure at different stages in life the importance is different, but right now for me I still enjoy sex very much!

IMHO THE MOST IMPORTANT.It may on the surface seem shallow but what else do you share with your husband/wife that you share with no one else? Love is what makes you choose to bond-sex/lust is what it thrives on.

otherwise its not a relationship...

A woman must love to have sex but a man must have sex to express love. A great deal can be learned by the act.

Companionship is more important.

Relationships without sex have often resulted in demise.

I would be happy without it if the man in my life could live without it but few men can.

There are other ways to show love and affection then just having sex. But it does need to happen sometimes!

I don't believe in monogamy but if I were in a monogamous relationship the sex better be fantastic. Yes, trust and love and stability are important but if there is no sexual chemistry or very little sexual chemistry it isn't going to work out.

So are finances, communication, attention and a few other factors.

It depends on the people in the relationship.

it's not the only thing, but if you don't find a way to match things up right, it can kill things. Even with asexual people, if they don't enter a romantic relationship with another asexual person, then they will have to work out something out.

Sex to me is only 5% of the relationship, the other 95% is trying not to kill each other!

Hm, i thought of not putting something with it. But i dont think it is really important in a relationship. On a scale of lets say 100, for love, sex will be like a six. The reason being, is that love is more than just the physical act of making love. As my Daddy/fiancee has stated to some, some, like power exchange and other things as well. For me, it is the power exchange, the discipline, but also the smaller things in life. Like cuddling with Him and just watching movies with Him. Or making memories with Him instead of just having sex. Okay, all im gonna say on that, now. :P

It depends on the type of relationship. Starting off no, but as the romantic relationship develops- perhaps. I could probably be happy in an asexual relationship. My sister is asexual and it's easy to talk about such things with her. I am not asexual at all- but I am sometimes indifferent. I truly think that its importance varies from person to person. I am not the kind of person who has an extremely high sex drive, I am more interested in 'creative sex'- if one has it too often it becomes mundane and meaningless.

Of course it's not all up to me- I'd be interested in a relationship that kept both me and my partner happy. If one person is unhappy it's not worth it. Perhaps the reason why I'm single is that I'm so picky!

Sex shouldn't be involved in a relationship unless it's a relationship purely for sex. In a relationship, feelings most likely are shared, therefore two people make love, they don't have sex.

I don't need to have sex in order to Love another. Therefore, sex is trivial in that sense.

Take care,

Wow, Anthony... really? really? Are you married?

Is sex a requirement for your love? If so, that is sad. Love is an act that shows you love someone, it doesn't equate love :P

And yes, that is how I think and behave :P

Take care,

Anthony,

I apologize for questioning you in that manner. However, I'm married, and I love my wife, and an intimate relationship is what makes us closer together. Well, one of the many other things that makes us closer.

Sex and/or making love shouldn't be WORK like you mentioned a "requirement." Sex and/or making love to your partner should be natural. Free.

Having an orgasmic experience with someone you deeply care about is one of the most beautiful things in life.

Smokey

I am sexual with my partner/fiancee, but that doesn't mean that my love is dependent upon sex. It's not important in that sense. There are many avenues and fashions for displaying love that are equally rewarding, and superior to the physical display of that love through sex.

Let me list some acts that you can do to show your love for another that are more deeply regarded than sex:

1. I helped my abused/molested/raped fiancee overcome her emotional problems to a point that she can be mentally healthier: this is more rewarding for her than stimulating her, or arousing her in a sexual way. Therefore, it is more reverent than sex. And I had to take on problems which causes me no satisfaction, which is less selfish than sex.

2. If I were to give my life for my wife, that would be more deeply showing of love than the act of sex, as I would give my life for her. This is an act that isn't sexual, but more deeply reflects love. Doesn't it state in the Bible: The greatest love you can give another is your own life? Or something to that effect.

3. And I'm sure there are many other acts that are more fulfilling than sex to demonstrate love.

4. Sex might be pleasurable and beautiful, but it is superficial and hardly of great importance.

Take care,

In your opinion. Remember to always state that... just like my statement is my opinion.

I appreciate your remarks. You sound like a very nice man. I hope that you continue to seek professional help for your fiance because going through that is so very difficult! I'm glad that you are in her life to help her out with all of those emotions!

Take care,

Smokey

I didn't state it as an opinion because I consider it as factual. Those are real examples that are an obviously deeper showing of love.

However, people can view it as they wish through their understanding and mentality towards love.

I think what is wrong with our society is people are too afraid to assert something as true: they always want to say it's in their opinion to avoid conflict which lessens the truth that they state.

On another note, people depend too much on using sex to convey love, when love should be conveyed in less obsessive ways that adds something substantial to the other persons heart and soul.

Take care, Thanks for the responses.

What are your sources to support your facts? I can give you many sources from Doctor's that proves your theory is incorrect?

It's based on the logical formulation of examples which contradict the already accepted views of the importance of sex as a means of demonstrating a superior love.

However, one source would be the Bible which states what the greatest love you can do for another is.

What would Doctors prove? The biological reasons behind sex verses the spiritual values of love?

Not having facts which are substantiated by professionals doesn't negate my reasoning from being true. Truth doesn't require proof to exist. If a tree falls in a forest and if no one is around it, did it fall? Of course, our presence doesn't negate the truth, it just substantiates it.

Whether you believe it to be true or subjective is up to you. If you want to believe that sex is important, and needed in order to love another, than that is up to you. I don't wish to get into a debate about this. As I won't change my mind because I've demonstrated my logic to be true through examples that I can demonstrate.

Take care,

Hey, thanks for the conversation! Very interesting topic! You have a wonderful weekend!

Smokey

You too, Take care :)

Wow, I admire you. Your partner is very lucky.

We all have our strengths and flaws: I have a negative side as well as positive; unsure how lucky she truly is. My fiancee wouldn't leave me if we never had sex, nor would she consider it of high importance, but she does enjoy it. Therefore in that context, sex is apart of a relationship: fulfilling their wants.

In any event, she prefers power exchange and discipline to sex, which might seem strange to some, which helps us bond far more than sex.

Take care,

PRETTY MUCH--BUT THERE'S MORE TO DO W/ THAT PERSON...

It's Important but theirs more important things like communication

Anyone who says no, is lying. In a friendly relationship then of course it's not important. But in a marriage or couple, it is. Those who say it isn't and can be complacent are definitely getting it somewhere else.

A lot of people are indifferent to sex, or asexual: therefore sex for them wouldn't have any importance. Since a relationship is based on love not sex, sex isn't required for love to exist.

Take care, :)

I agree, not the most important thing, but important.

Since it's important to a relationship, it must add something substantial to the relationship; since love is the substance of a relationship, what quality does sex add to love?

Take care,

Well it varies from couple to couple, but I believe it provides physical bonding to match the emotional bonding. It could be explained scientifically that sex serves to create a bond between the parents of a child so they are more likely to stay together. Regardless of if there is a child, people can feel more attached to their partner if they have sex. And let's face it, most people will look elsewhere if they're not getting their sexual needs met by their partner. Of course this is different if both are asexual.

although i guess it really depends on the relationship and the people involved...