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How Do You Know You're in Love?

Living 2012/02/24 14:00:00
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When it comes to love, they say you "just know." But YourTango.com reports that there are actually five key signs to look for when you think you may be in love: You can't stop staring at them, you feel high, you can't stop touching them, you can't stop thinking about them and you want to be exclusive. Sound about right?



1. You can't stop staring at him/her: Dr. Lucy Brown, neuroscientist and professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, tells YourTango that when you fall in love, you can't stop staring at the object of your affection. Just be sure not to creep him/her out!

2. You feel high: There's a reason why you're so blissful when you're in love -- the brain produces more feel-good dopamine, as well as norepinephrine, which makes you feel nervous (e.g. the racing heart sensation).

3. You can't stop touching him/her: Dr. Bianca Acevedo, Visiting Scientist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, tells YourTango that your body will subconsciously lean toward your love object's body, mainly because you want to feel emotionally closer to him or her.

4. You can't stop thinking about him/her: Shockingly, people think about their love object about 85 percent of the day.

5. You want to be "exclusive": If you're really in love, you don't want to be with anyone else ... and you want the relationship to be long-lasting, Dr. Brown tells YourTango.

Do you think these five signs stick? How do you know when you're really in love, as opposed to in lust or in like?
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  • Amasaman Wonder ... 2012/02/24 21:21:37
    Amasaman
    +3
    Did I say I had sex with her, ever?
  • Wonder ... Amasaman 2012/02/24 21:54:38
  • Amasaman Wonder ... 2012/02/25 16:09:24
    Amasaman
    +1
    Why? There was a physical attraction. Once I realized this was somebody I didn't want to be with, I was turned off.

    I've met many women, and this one was a certifiable NUTCASE, the worst of them all, even worse than some of the drug addicts I've known. At least the druggies knew what they were doing, and understood the reality of it.

    It's also not my fault that my band mates and I were handsome, dashing, debonair and carefree musicians that had groupies flocking to see us. I guess we had a couple hundred oxytocin addicts every time we performed. I wonder if their oxytocin kicked in as they were getting dressed up in those super short mini skirts, fishnet or spandex leggings, ripped up shirts and hair poofed out a mile high. Do you really think they showed up at our gigs just for the music? If one of those didn't have the maturity to control her emotions, in the environment she put herself in, is that my fault? I doubt it.

    It's not my fault women are so ignorant about the science of men's brains either.

    This joke, and all it's variations, is the perfect example:

    Her Diary:

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I...



    Why? There was a physical attraction. Once I realized this was somebody I didn't want to be with, I was turned off.

    I've met many women, and this one was a certifiable NUTCASE, the worst of them all, even worse than some of the drug addicts I've known. At least the druggies knew what they were doing, and understood the reality of it.

    It's also not my fault that my band mates and I were handsome, dashing, debonair and carefree musicians that had groupies flocking to see us. I guess we had a couple hundred oxytocin addicts every time we performed. I wonder if their oxytocin kicked in as they were getting dressed up in those super short mini skirts, fishnet or spandex leggings, ripped up shirts and hair poofed out a mile high. Do you really think they showed up at our gigs just for the music? If one of those didn't have the maturity to control her emotions, in the environment she put herself in, is that my fault? I doubt it.

    It's not my fault women are so ignorant about the science of men's brains either.

    This joke, and all it's variations, is the perfect example:

    Her Diary:

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing’. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too. ‘When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else…My life is a disaster!

    His Diary:

    How on earth did I miss that putt! I can’t figure it out, but at least I got laid.
    (more)
  • Wonder ... Amasaman 2012/02/25 16:27:32
  • Amasaman Wonder ... 2012/02/25 16:57:14
    Amasaman
    +1
    Being married to my wife for 17 years doesn't count as being proposed to? That's right, I just used her weakness to put up with me for that long.

    You make it sound like no man has ever been taken advantage of by a woman, as if we have absolutely no emotions, no sense of pain or caring. I've been dumped by more than a few women. I guess they just ran out of oxytocin, or I ran out of money...one of the two.
  • Wonder ... Amasaman 2012/02/25 17:46:42
  • Amasaman Wonder ... 2012/02/26 16:46:59
    Amasaman
    Of all the women I've had a relationship with, she was the only one like this. She certainly was a different animal, creepy, crawly, conniving, sneaky, deadly...the BLACK WIDOW!

  • Wonder ... Amasaman 2012/02/26 20:02:16
  • smitty Amasaman 2012/02/24 22:17:00 (edited)
    smitty
    +3
    If a crazy woman dreams about that you did then yes you did. Dangerous stuff a woman is made out of.
  • Blood B... smitty 2012/02/25 09:58:28
    Blood Bathed Angel
    +2
    I am a woman, and I agree with that, Amasaman. XD
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/25 16:40:16
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/27 14:04:39 (edited)
    smitty
    Well women have it and not men, so it is in their DNA. I assume that men don't have it. I just can remember back to high school. There were these two girls. I had no interest in them, but dang if they weren't an emotional mess. I only dated a few in my own high school because it was easier to get away with dating multiple girls from other high schools. These two girls though no matter what I did they would just break down crying. I never dated them or anything else except be friendly. It was scary stuff.

    Like I told Ama.. I never had any relationship with them, but dang if that mattered to them. If they so deem it, then it is.
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/27 15:20:30
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/27 19:17:49
    smitty
    +1
    To one the emotion may be more scary than the physical. You can walk off physical pain. You can't just walk off emotional. So for me I would rather be smacked around. That pain goes away. Seeing some girl grovel at your feet is scary. Some men may like it, but it just didn't fly with me.
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/27 22:18:09
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/27 22:45:16
    smitty
    My kids took/taking self defense. From a class and from dad. What is does do is also gives one a sense of self respect.

    Once you have a sense of self respect everything else seems so much clearer.
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/28 00:09:49
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/28 14:52:31
    smitty
    Sure it does. In learning self defense one also increases their self respect. It is amazing what it does for a person inside and out.
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/28 16:09:49
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/28 16:53:11
    smitty
    Self Defense is not always violent. There are many things to teach in self defense. Awareness is one.

    Yes physically defending yourself is taught. But if taught correctly it is purely self defense and not barbaric slaughter.
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/28 17:02:53
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/28 18:27:15
    smitty
    Self defense is being aware of your surroundings. How is that violent?
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/28 19:04:52
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/28 19:29:53
    smitty
    Like I said. There is more to self defense than physical violence.

    You can twist it all you want. There is more to self defense than physical violence.

    Go take a physical defense class and see.

    It prepares the body and mind. When you can control your mind, all that other stuff goes away. Sorta like yoga.
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/28 19:48:27
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/28 20:40:48
    smitty
    No offense but you are wrong.
  • Wonder ... smitty 2012/02/28 21:02:58
  • smitty Wonder ... 2012/02/28 21:33:48
    smitty
    Not at all. I am comfortable in beliefs to look at everything. I know from personal experience that defense training includes non-violent components. So to tell me I am wrong is well just wrong.

    Good day to you.
  • lady blue Amasaman 2012/02/26 09:14:38 (edited)
    lady blue
    +1
    I'm glad you got away from her alive ! She was obviously obsessed with you.
    You ever know what life is going to throw you in the way of the people you meet as potential dates/ partners. You just have to be prepared to discern the fine border between infatuation and insanity. LoL .. Anyone in their right mind would never do the things this woman did. They'd have to have emotional problems.
    As I said, good you got rid of her and you were not in danger. LoL ..
    We live, we learn. :))
  • Wally-M... lady blue 2012/02/24 23:27:40
  • Julia Anne 2012/02/24 19:03:01 (edited)
    You can't stop thinking about him/her
    Julia Anne
    +2
    It's this feeling you get, there the only thing on your mind. your up till 3am because you still can't stop thinking about them. Your wondering if you should call them but you remember that's it only 3am and you don't want them to think your stalking them now.

    Love is this feeling that drives me insane because I know noting about it can be perfect, Why does everything have to be complicated. Yeah I'm talking about you love!!!
  • goblue1968 2012/02/24 18:42:31
    You can't stop thinking about him/her
    goblue1968
    +1
    Man, I was lucky to get through the rest of the semester without flunking out of college when I met her! Could not keep my mind on my studies! We eventually got married (and that was 44-and-a-half years ago!!).
  • bert 2012/02/24 18:32:09
    You can't stop thinking about him/her
    bert
    +2
    I want to know one day. ;)
  • Axe Grinder 2012/02/24 18:30:56
    You want to be "exclusive"
    Axe Grinder
    +2
    when she paid for the gas in the car...and picked up the check for dinner...I knew I had found the "ONE" !! :)
  • Lily Rosen 2012/02/24 18:26:52
    You feel high
    Lily Rosen
    +1
    Stop this question -.-" There is no way to describe it, it's all of those, but might not be any of those at the same time. You're in love when you're in love. There is no describing it. Though high is admittedly close << >>
  • Bufatem mohammed Almuallem 2012/02/24 18:24:20
    You feel high
    Bufatem mohammed Almuallem
    +2
    Wo0O0oW,,
    you'll feel so HIGH
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  • Sonic 2012/02/24 18:06:52
    You can't stop thinking about him/her
    Sonic
    +3
    MY REAL ANSWER:
    "When you don't have to ask when you're in love. You just know you are."
  • XRenX 2012/02/24 18:06:41
    You want to be "exclusive"
    XRenX
    +1
    I don't know, doesn't that "high" wear off after the first "butterfly" stage. You get confmortable and secuire then is what I hear. After the intial infatuation. The "high" feels like infatuation. Being exclusive and completely satisfied with one another sounds better, it sounds like real love.
  • Alex, WolmanXX 2012/02/24 17:59:56
    You can't stop thinking about him/her
    Alex, WolmanXX
  • Garciataria 2012/02/24 17:55:28
    You can't stop thinking about him/her
    Garciataria
    +1
    In my mind, it will be VERY obvious.

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