How Do You Know You're in Love?
SodaHead Living
2012/02/24 14:00:00
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When it comes to love, they say you "just know." But YourTango.com reports that there are actually five key signs to look for when you think you may be in love: You can't stop staring at them, you feel high, you can't stop touching them, you can't stop thinking about them and you want to be exclusive. Sound about right?
1. You can't stop staring at him/her: Dr. Lucy Brown, neuroscientist and professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, tells YourTango that when you fall in love, you can't stop staring at the object of your affection. Just be sure not to creep him/her out!
2. You feel high: There's a reason why you're so blissful when you're in love -- the brain produces more feel-good dopamine, as well as norepinephrine, which makes you feel nervous (e.g. the racing heart sensation).
3. You can't stop touching him/her: Dr. Bianca Acevedo, Visiting Scientist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, tells YourTango that your body will subconsciously lean toward your love object's body, mainly because you want to feel emotionally closer to him or her.
4. You can't stop thinking about him/her: Shockingly, people think about their love object about 85 percent of the day.
5. You want to be "exclusive": If you're really in love, you don't want to be with anyone else ... and you want the relationship to be long-lasting, Dr. Brown tells YourTango.
Do you think these five signs stick? How do you know when you're really in love, as opposed to in lust or in like?
Top Opinion
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Sister Jean 2012/02/24 21:22:56
All these options miss the real point entirely.
"I love you" simply means "Your happiness means more to me than mine." When you realize that about someone else, you're in love. Until then, you aren't.
These things are just superficial garbage. They describe the crushes I had in junior high.
maybe not - what you call garbage, I call symptoms. But in part, I agree - a true lover may even waive for the hapiness of a partner, almost like moms can do! (''Almost'' because moms don't wait reciprocity, love wants it - or dies).
I think about him 24/7, when I see a beautiful jacket, I close my eyes, and there is him wearing that! When I'm cooking, I fancy inviting him to dinner here... A lot of songs, and movies, make me remember him, his words... Worrying me with his welfare, and trust in him is another prove. And butterflies in the stomach can happen no matter how old a person is!
Love is a sentiment, no one feels it in the same way.
I used to make a test: If I can look at the mirror and confess ''Mr..., I love you'' with no doubt, then I love him (One can't lie to oneself).
Nice to see you, bye, bye.
If you really can't, I'd say you're a 1 in a billion kind of person.
No kidding - I assume my mistakes, and I know nobody is perfect, using or not a make up; because of that, and because to lie is to put lot of energy in "nothing", I don't lie.
Whether you lie to yourself or not, the effort not to lie to anyone else puts you *way* ahead of most people.
Okay then.
Of all of these options (they ALL apply, don't they?), the one I believe is most important is that "exclusive" tag. Once that happens that's "it."
It was rarely an exclusive thing.
Making it exclusive, to me, implies jealousy. And jealousy is the opposite of love.
There have been many who were so awesome that I wasn't interested in anyone else. But I wouldn't have tried to tie any of them down to just me. The more people you love, the greater your capacity to love.
I love my brother with all my heart. And also my mother. I'm pretty fond of my father.
This does not diminish my capacity to love any of them, or any of the rest (my extended family's pretty huge, and I love them all as well).
Focusing all your love on one other person is, of course, totally valid. The majority tells us that's the only possible strategy/approach. "Everyone knows" that's the best way.
But it isn't. Anything that "everyone knows" is probably wrong.
Dating 5 different women who collectively create the "perfect woman" for me is a lot easier than trying to actually find The One. Kids may or may not be involved. The "vice versa" principle applies.
The more love you give, the more you receive.
You do not seem to love them b/c you want them to be perfect for you and it is about what they can do for YOU and give to YOU. How can it be love if you are not truly devoting as much time as possible to a certain person in order to give them everything they need/want including your time and attention.
I'm not sure there's anyone on the planet who I *could* focus all my time and attention on. Even if we cut out the parts where we're doing things with other people because she just isn't interested and I don't want to drag her along to events she won't enjoy. It does not make me any less in love with her if I happen to also be in love with some of those other people.
I had one woman I love explain it this way: "The more love I get from you, the more I have to share with everyone else. And vice versa" It's like a muscle: the you exercise it, the stronger it gets.
This isn't selfishness on my part. I'm not going to settle for anyone who isn't perfect for me or doesn't believe I'm perfect for her. I'm not going to mope around waiting for her--I'm developing myself into the truly amazing person who will be deserving and worthy of her when we meet.
When a couple has kids, they have definitely taken a step that will lead to less time for each other. Is it a sign that they are suddenly less in love?
Why would anyone want to spend the rest of their lives with someone who isn't perfect for them? ...
I'm not sure there's anyone on the planet who I *could* focus all my time and attention on. Even if we cut out the parts where we're doing things with other people because she just isn't interested and I don't want to drag her along to events she won't enjoy. It does not make me any less in love with her if I happen to also be in love with some of those other people.
I had one woman I love explain it this way: "The more love I get from you, the more I have to share with everyone else. And vice versa" It's like a muscle: the you exercise it, the stronger it gets.
This isn't selfishness on my part. I'm not going to settle for anyone who isn't perfect for me or doesn't believe I'm perfect for her. I'm not going to mope around waiting for her--I'm developing myself into the truly amazing person who will be deserving and worthy of her when we meet.
When a couple has kids, they have definitely taken a step that will lead to less time for each other. Is it a sign that they are suddenly less in love?
Why would anyone want to spend the rest of their lives with someone who isn't perfect for them? I understand the logic of settling for someone who's good enough and planning on "improving" them. Expecting someone else to change in the ways I want seems incredibly selfish to me.
It isn't about what they (or she) can do for me. It's about what we can do for each other. If I were some selfish taker, who never gave anything back, you'd have a point. I try to give as much as I receive.
Also other factors will take time away from each other aside from kids, of course you don't love them less but romantically ideally, that one person would be need/want when it is real love.
Anyway, I don't see the point of arguing...I never could understand open relationships, never will and quite frankly, don't even prefer to try to much.
I've accepted the reality that this isn't likely.
I just want acceptance that this is OK. Monogamy works for you. It probably won't for me. Don't try to force me to live by your rules.
If I hit the jackpot and run across a woman I can settle down with...rejoice for me. Until then, just accept that I'm looking for her and don't judge.
Also, I think it's a combination of all those things, because that's what I was like when I was in love.