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How do you discipline your children if you have any? How were you disciplined as a child?

Remarkable 2009/03/09 19:24:20
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This is just a question I was curious about. My children are disciplined depending on the situation. There's a saying that you discipline you're children how you were disciplined as a child, but I absolutely don't agree with that because as a child, me and my siblings were practically abused by my dad. I have vowed to never discipline my children as we were as kids. Are you against spanking? Just some ideas forme to become a better parent. I don't think you're ever to old to learn or try something different. Thanks in advance for you're continued support. Enjoy!!!
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  • *SmileS... 2525jds 2009/03/12 22:12:14
    *SmileS* =)
    +1
    umm first u where 18 u should of done it in school and should of got grounded not hit
  • 2525jds *SmileS... 2009/03/13 00:34:08
    2525jds
    +1
    got spanked at school at 18 years for smokin in the boys room my senior year...
  • *SmileS... 2525jds 2009/03/13 00:46:26
    *SmileS* =)
    +1
    exactly first that's wrong ur 18 and should be able to smoke not on school grounds u should of got punish but a different way wrong ur 18 smoke school grounds punish
  • 2525jds *SmileS... 2009/03/13 13:07:09
    2525jds
    +1
    either take the spanken or not graduate...It was 3 weeks to graduation...LOL So it was worth taken it like a man...
  • *SmileS... 2525jds 2009/03/13 19:42:49
    *SmileS* =)
    +1
    whateves
  • 2525jds *SmileS... 2009/03/13 20:42:13
    2525jds
    +1
    That is what they told me...take it or go home till i was ready to take it... so I said go for it cause if i missed that many days i would have failed and not graduated...thats life in the real world...
  • *SmileS... 2525jds 2009/03/13 20:48:01
    *SmileS* =)
    +1
    u act like i don't live in the real world i'm just sayin i will never hit my kids there's other ways of punishment
  • Remarkable *SmileS... 2009/03/13 20:50:58
    Remarkable
    +1
    You know what angel you do what you feel is best. As long as your happy with the results that's all that matters. Be easy hon.
  • *SmileS... Remarkable 2009/03/13 20:53:07
    *SmileS* =)
    +1
    okay thanxs;)
  • Remarkable *SmileS... 2009/03/13 20:54:45
    Remarkable
    My pleasure hun.
  • 2525jds *SmileS... 2009/03/13 21:24:37
    2525jds
    +1
    And I am just saying good luck with that I hope you will be able to control them when they are teens...
  • *SmileS... 2525jds 2009/03/13 21:28:31
    *SmileS* =)
    +1
    i guess i'll have to wait and see
  • true am... *SmileS... 2009/03/13 10:51:15
    true american
    +1
    I do not hate my parents and I am 35 I respect them .
  • *SmileS... true am... 2009/03/13 19:43:35
    *SmileS* =)
    +1
    i don't hate my parents neither i very much respect them and i'm 16. my uncle i hate but respect him
  • Lynn 2009/03/12 20:38:10
    I spank, but
    Lynn
    +1
    ..spanking only works in rare situations and on younger kids. Its like a little 'attention getter' to give them a firm swat on the ass, but after around age 7 or so, its no longer effective. I never spanked my girls, but they did get a couple swats on the butt to get their attention. My oldest girl is truely a little 'daddy's girl' and all I ever had to do with her was give her that look and she would fall right into line, never wanting to dissapoint her daddy. She's 25 now and she still adores me. She's a wonderful young lady and we are very close.

    I would agree with you that most people discipline thier own kids the way that they were disciplined. However, if a person feels that they were treated unfairly as a child, they certainly would vow to never treat their own kids that way. I got spanked as a child, but never ever in anger. It was always after I was sent to my room for a while and Dad calmly explained the errors of my ways. It was like a credit and accounting system with Dad, LOL. Well, you did this, and thats worth 1, you did that and thats worth 2, and then you did that other thing and thats woth one more. So that 4... out came the belt and lets start countin 'em out...

    My parent did, on a few occasions use guilt on me, but I never had to, or wanted to use it ...
    ..spanking only works in rare situations and on younger kids. Its like a little 'attention getter' to give them a firm swat on the ass, but after around age 7 or so, its no longer effective. I never spanked my girls, but they did get a couple swats on the butt to get their attention. My oldest girl is truely a little 'daddy's girl' and all I ever had to do with her was give her that look and she would fall right into line, never wanting to dissapoint her daddy. She's 25 now and she still adores me. She's a wonderful young lady and we are very close.

    I would agree with you that most people discipline thier own kids the way that they were disciplined. However, if a person feels that they were treated unfairly as a child, they certainly would vow to never treat their own kids that way. I got spanked as a child, but never ever in anger. It was always after I was sent to my room for a while and Dad calmly explained the errors of my ways. It was like a credit and accounting system with Dad, LOL. Well, you did this, and thats worth 1, you did that and thats worth 2, and then you did that other thing and thats woth one more. So that 4... out came the belt and lets start countin 'em out...

    My parent did, on a few occasions use guilt on me, but I never had to, or wanted to use it on my girls. I was blessed with good girls that rarely if ever required discipline, but when they did, I was always very calm and sat down with them and talked to them about why what they did was wrong.
    (more)
  • RhinoRT 2009/03/12 20:29:46
    None of the above
    RhinoRT
    +2
    I was spanked as a child but it was never over done, and it definitely deterred me and made me think about messing up again.
    depending on what they did we spanked our children when they were younger then from about the age of 7 on into their teens grounding became more effective. they are both grown now and turned out very well and we are very proud of them both.
    THE KEY IS TO BE CONSISTENT and carry out what ever discipline you decide on, dont ground them for two weeks and let them off in one for good behavior.
  • riderwriter extremist extra... 2009/03/12 20:25:25
    Here's what I do
    riderwriter extremist extraordinaire
    +2
    Here's what I did.
    Warnings were understood to be solid. I kept my word. If I warned that such and such a behavior would be met with early curfew, grounding, loss of priveleges or spanking, I kept my word.

    I even spanked my 14 year old son....not to hurt him, but to let him know he was still the son and I was the father. Just one or two swats is all that was needed. More is abusive, I felt.

    How was I disciplined? Think blood and broken bones.
  • John "B... riderwr... 2009/03/12 20:52:18
    John "By God" American
    +1
    LOL, I got the belt when I was 14. I lied and I deserved it. I was more upset at disappointing my dad than anything.
  • riderwr... John "B... 2009/03/12 23:39:36
    riderwriter extremist extraordinaire
    +1
    Sometimes, that can be the a greater discipline...the realization of disappointment.
  • hyacinthwoman 2009/03/12 02:35:35
    Here's what I do
    hyacinthwoman
    +2
    First, good job mom, checking with yourself on strategies to raise kids! That is half the job right there.
    It so depends on the child and the circumstances. There is no perfect solution. The word discipline means "To Teach" so remember that and it helps in the decision making. "Punish" comes from the Latin, "Punire," I think. There is a huge difference between punishment and discipline. I like a consequence that meets the "crime" or the situation and it is a challenge to get there. I have to think ahead...."What would I do if?" Some of the things that I have done, suggested and blessed by a therapist or other child expert, were panned by another "expert" later. So I wish that I had had the....chutzpah to follow my instinct sometimes.
  • Remarkable hyacint... 2009/03/12 16:15:50
    Remarkable
    Thanks hyacinthwoman, appreciate your comment.
  • We-sa ® hyacint... 2009/03/12 16:19:11
    We-sa ®
    +1
    excellent point!
  • masaca 2009/03/12 01:00:04 (edited)
    Undecided
    masaca
    +1
    I don't believe in corporal punishment. I have faith in my children that they realize that they made a mistake and will correct it themself.

    I point out, but never hit them, yell at them, or shame them. Kids do want to please their parents.

    I was subjected to severe whippings and harsh punishment from one parent, And socks to the jaw, and neglect from the other.
  • realin 2009 2009/03/11 17:40:29
    None of the above
    realin 2009
    +2
    depends on the crime...i have used spankings on both my children but not like i was disiplined..i do believe in the spare the rod spoil the child...children NEED disipline..my daughter has had maybe 4 swats in her life and she is 10...my son maybe 10..he is honery..but he 14 now and i dont use spankings on him anymore as he is way bigger than me and i have found that grounding him to his room and taking away the things he loves works just as well....but i am not against spanking
  • SPAZ is Back 2009/03/11 17:27:03
    Undecided
    SPAZ is Back
    +1
    Just seems like everything we have done, not like my parents, really had no effect. our oldest daughter who turned 18 was, omgness how to say this......a challenge? in every way shape and form. You can spend 18 years raising your children to have respect, moral values etc etc, but when they leave the nest, they turn into the monsters that they truly were, act like they were raised by wolves. Depressing...
  • jess - free to be me 2009/03/11 04:10:39
    I spank, but
    jess - free to be me
    +3
    when all else fails. My child is hardheaded. I can talk to her, put her in time out, take things away, etc. Sometimes these things may work for certain things but when push comes to shove and it doesnt she gets a spanking spank fails child hardheaded talk work push shove spanking
  • Remarkable jess - ... 2009/03/11 17:09:46
    Remarkable
    YEP. MY KIDS ARE HARDHEADED AS HELL ALSO AND HATE SPANKINGS. THANKS jess ^* " In God We Trust".
  • Torchmanner ~PWCM~JLA 2009/03/11 02:04:54
    This is good
    Torchmanner ~PWCM~JLA
    +4
    I was beat without cause as a kid. I still spanked my kids when they obviously needed it. Most of them time it was 'go to your room' or 'stand in the corner'. The Bible is real clear on it:
    Pro 22:15 Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
    Pro 13:24 He that spareth his rod HATETH his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
  • Remarkable Torchma... 2009/03/11 17:10:45
    Remarkable
    SO WAS I. THANX Torchmanner FOR THE KIND INSPIRATION.
  • pinkfire 2009/03/11 00:08:57
    None of the above
    pinkfire
    +1
    i dont have childeren so i either end up in my room for about a month if its real bad but the lorounded was longest i have been grounded for was 2 weeks and i get my computer tv and everything else i like token away but i am not a bad person and my parents trust me so i sledom get puished
  • Remarkable pinkfire 2009/03/11 17:11:24
    Remarkable
    THANKS pinkfire.
  • pinkfire Remarkable 2009/03/11 21:28:19
  • Liz often bored 2009/03/10 23:21:43
    Undecided
    Liz        often bored
    +1
    no kids, but my mom spanked us. i was talking about it with her the other day and she said my sister and cousin got spanked and toys taken away when they were bad, but my cousin didn't care, and my sister pushed buttons to see how mad she could make someone, but i would never get spanked or put in the corner, because all you had to do was give me a look or raise your voice slightly and i would run to my room crying, my mom said i punished myself.
  • Just Missy 2009/03/10 22:27:55
    None of the above
    Just Missy
    +1
    I don't have kids (Thank God!), but when I was little I would be spanked. If I did something really bad, my dad would whip me with a leather belt on my bare back or behind. I don't agree with people hitting their kids for any reason.
  • MSME 2009/03/10 21:34:18 (edited)
    Here's what I do
    MSME
    +2
    The punishment needs to fit the crime.. out to late, you're in an hour earlier everytime you go out, until further notice... not in bed by 9 pm, guess what? Everything gets moved up an hour in the schedule and you go to bed an hour earlier..till I decide you can repect my rules, and my sanity..get on your bike and take off?.. Well tires come off the bike tIll I see fit that you can mind what I say.. Not clean your room?.. well I do and I throw it all away, or put it up so you think I thrown it away.. Have the urge to curse?.. drinking lemon juice with pureed jalapenos is a cure all.. Forget to lift the lid boys?.. You clean the toilet.. Kick your brother of sister?.. stand on one foot and hold the other in your hand while asking the foot why it kicked that other person, and continue until the foot answers back..(it never does, however they sure are standing there a long time trying to get it to talk) still trying to watch tv while should be sleeping.?. Fuse box turned off to your room, no electricity in your room for a week..Brought home grades that are not up to par, an extra hour of studing, lose the hour of tv, or playtime till I know the grade has been brought up..yell at me or raise your voice?.. your going down and getting tickled till you are blue in the face and talked ...''''
    The punishment needs to fit the crime.. out to late, you're in an hour earlier everytime you go out, until further notice... not in bed by 9 pm, guess what? Everything gets moved up an hour in the schedule and you go to bed an hour earlier..till I decide you can repect my rules, and my sanity..get on your bike and take off?.. Well tires come off the bike tIll I see fit that you can mind what I say.. Not clean your room?.. well I do and I throw it all away, or put it up so you think I thrown it away.. Have the urge to curse?.. drinking lemon juice with pureed jalapenos is a cure all.. Forget to lift the lid boys?.. You clean the toilet.. Kick your brother of sister?.. stand on one foot and hold the other in your hand while asking the foot why it kicked that other person, and continue until the foot answers back..(it never does, however they sure are standing there a long time trying to get it to talk) still trying to watch tv while should be sleeping.?. Fuse box turned off to your room, no electricity in your room for a week..Brought home grades that are not up to par, an extra hour of studing, lose the hour of tv, or playtime till I know the grade has been brought up..yell at me or raise your voice?.. your going down and getting tickled till you are blue in the face and talked to as to why you do not yell at me..because obviously they needed the attention, and tried to get it by getting loud...anything dangerous.. your warned, after the warning you will get your butt tested if you do it again.. spanking and beating two different things.. one from love, one from frustration.. make me breakfast, whether burnt or not?.. hugs and giggles, thank you's, love you's and a pillow fight, or a tickle fest, or the park, or skating.. I try to catch them being good, so as not to focus on the undesirable things.. I'm very proud of my brood, everyday I am that much prouder to be their parent...with God's blessings.
    (more)
  • hyacint... MSME 2009/03/12 02:25:13 (edited)
    hyacinthwoman
    +3
    I love those natural consequences! I have come to the conclusion that spanking a child or showing force in a physical way like that usually just proves that you are bigger and is not productive...in my opinion. Anything that is punitive hasn't had the best results. But I just laughed out loud at the taking the wheel off the bike or the losing the computer....sounds like home! And tell your kids that they are so lucky! My kids and grand kids are not allowed phones, computers or TVs in their room....HEY, KIDS, IT WOULD BE SO MUCH LAMER HERE.....LOL
  • //\/\ic... MSME 2009/03/12 16:16:14
    //\/\ickey //\/\ouse //\/\aniac¸.•'´¯)Hi Everyone¸.•'´¯)
    +2
    This is soooooo funny!!!! soooooo funny
  • petean05 2009/03/10 18:48:20
    Time out
    petean05
    +1
    When I was little, I was more afraid of being alone than getting spanked. My parents realized this and gave me a time out alone in my room when I misbehaved.
  • Sweetheart 2009/03/10 16:38:07
    Here's what I do
    Sweetheart
    +1
    The punishment depends on the child and what they did. Children are always changing, so their responses to punishments change as well.
    Time out, loss of toys/privileges, and the rare spanking seem to work, it just depends.
    I hate that states are now telling parents how they can discipline their children. Spanking and abuse are two EXTREMELY different things. I should know, I was abused as a kid.
    I don't discipline the way I was disciplined.
  • Peacefull Hippie!! 2009/03/10 16:30:47
    Undecided
    Peacefull Hippie!!
    +1
    i would NEVER use the ways mom used to raise us lolz seriously its just not gonna happen i promised myself i wont turn out to be like her eventhough sometimes i find myself doing wat she is doing not on purpose but i wanna raise my children like sometimes be their friend n sometimes be the decision maker sometimes be their mom sometimes guide them in life i dont wanna tell them no ur not allowed its wrong n dont ask me again i would tell them no u cant coz of 1 2 3 reasons n convince them with it i wanna raise them to think for themselves not to be brainwashed ppl i wanna tell them i love them coz sometimes children dunno that i wanna have awsome lovely funny moments raise them on creativity n love n passion give them hope n safety make them feel like they are the best will always listen to what they have to say n accept their point of views n for them to have their own choices in the future as grown ups n not to be a control freak!!!

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