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How can differences between spouses make your marriage stronger?

Jim in SC 2012/03/07 17:48:23
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It doesn't take rocket science to know that in any relationship, there are differences between the two people. This is especially magnified when you consider marriage. Many people complain about their spouse, but most of the complaints are based on not understanding the differences in personality.

Check out the attached link for an insightful article on how to embrace the differences between you and your spouse. There may be a thing or two you can glean to help strengthen your relationship.

What is your take on how to deal with differences between you and your spouse?

Read More: http://michaelhyatt.com/how-differences-with-your-...

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  • Jim in SC 2012/03/11 20:40:58
    Here's what I think...
    Jim in SC
    Differences allow for learning and growth between spouses. They also allow the two to accomplish more, each playing their own strengths together for better success.
  • Charis242 2012/03/08 03:05:39
    Here's what I think...
    Charis242
    +1
    Differences are like extra opportunities to do more or learn more.
  • Jim in SC Charis242 2012/03/08 04:24:25
    Jim in SC
    Very true.
  • FencerCat 2012/03/07 22:32:46
    Here's what I think...
    FencerCat
    +1
    If you're exactly alike in everything you tend to suffocate each other. If you have differences (that aren't major) those differences can complement each other.
  • Jim in SC FencerCat 2012/03/07 22:48:20
    Jim in SC
    +1
    True, but I think too often people focus on the differences, say "I don't want to figure out how to live in the strength of the differences", and then bail on the relationship. I've also heard it said that if you were both exactly alike, one of you wouldn't be necessary.
  • FencerCat Jim in SC 2012/03/07 23:03:35
    FencerCat
    +1
    One of my friends said my husband and I were so alike it was scary. I told him that, yes, in the things we're alike... but on the things we differ in, we're galaxies apart. It gives us space so we don't crush each other, I guess.
  • Jim in SC FencerCat 2012/03/07 23:14:59
    Jim in SC
    +1
    It certainly helps to have common interests, but it still amazes me at how differently my wife and I process the same event.
  • FencerCat Jim in SC 2012/03/07 23:16:08
    FencerCat
    +1
    People can't believe that after 18 years of marriage, my husband and I still have separate bank accounts. We just don't do banking the same way. And since we each pay different bills, it's fine.
  • Jim in SC FencerCat 2012/03/08 01:15:22
    Jim in SC
    +1
    Most marriage counselors I've heard or spoken to encourage against that, actually. But Ithink it's mainly the non communication aspect, or the "we're not completely together aspect they are warning against. If it's your system, and you guys are both in agreement and communicate about it, then it's not that big a deal. It sounds like you guys have it worked out well.
  • FencerCat Jim in SC 2012/03/08 03:17:59
    FencerCat
    +1
    Yeah, we each have responsibility for different things. My savings account is for things like vacations, home improvements and things like that. We do a lot of communicating about those things. He's in charge of the mortgage and taxes, I'm in charge of all the other house bills and we each pay our own credit card bills. We don't have kids, so we don't need to be quite as "everything dumped together" as other people. WHen one of our friend who has kids expressed jealousy about our vacations to Europe, I told her, "Well, we're spending our kids' college fund to go on vacation. That got a laugh.
  • Jim in SC FencerCat 2012/03/08 04:26:37
    Jim in SC
    +1
    That is funny. Sometimes it seems we're spending our kids' college fund just existing, but that really isn't the case.
  • Metaldane 2012/03/07 19:40:46
    Here's what I think...
    Metaldane
    +1
    well just think about it would you want to marry someone exactly like you? I know I'd go insane if anything I'm attracted to girls who are extremely different then me I mean who wants vanilla when you can have rocky road lolz
  • Jim in SC Metaldane 2012/03/07 21:48:31
    Jim in SC
    Too true. When my wife and I married, if she were like me (an enginerd), we would have led a very boring life for a while. Her inquisitiveness and willingness to get out of a mundane rut helped the engineer in me to loosen up a bit. Life is interesting. It's even better now, 17 years into the marriage.
  • Aingean 2012/03/07 18:00:57
    Here's what I think...
    Aingean
    +1
    Difference in any relationship makes the parties stronger. In marriage it is just more so because you live with the person, you have to trust in the person for the bond to be strong and to hold. Differences teach tolerance and understanding as well as compromise.
  • Jim in SC Aingean 2012/03/07 18:13:26
    Jim in SC
    +1
    That is definitely true. I've heard it said before that if you were both exactly alike, one of you would not be necessary.

    Thanks for your answer.

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