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Have you ever seen a 'friend' say something that you find offensive & hurtful?

MlssCue =Go Blue= 2012/08/10 20:06:42
It wasn't said to me directly, but it was something that I seen this 'friend' say an a poll. I find it to be cruel, offensive, hurtful & judgmental. I happen to fall into the category of the subject of this poll, so it has personally affected me. Has this ever happened to you? I've seen where other people who were on my friends list were saying very hateful things to those of a certain race & also religion, to which I immediately removed them from my friends. Sad thing is, I actually like this friend and if it were just anyone saying it I could care less. I won't say anything, because I won't risk coming off as "being too sensitive"!
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  • Transquesta 2012/08/10 20:13:00
    Transquesta
    +5
    Friends (online and off) occupy a special place in our hearts. That means they can do more damage, accidentally, than casual acquaintances or even enemies can do deliberately. I would *imagine* that whomever this friend was did not mean to hurt your feelings or even, conceivably, realize they had done so.

    Even so, people tend to speak to the audience at hand--meaning that their attitudes will be tailored to that specific audience and may not be a completely complete/accurate representation of their 'true' opinions. In short, I'd give them the opportunity to explain themselves. . .and then cut them off at the knees. :-)

    Anyway, judging by the fact that we're still friends, I'll just 'assume' I wasn't the offending party. That's good, 'cuz I like you, MissCue. :->

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Opinions

  • Kashee 2012/08/11 08:18:31
    Kashee
    +1
    Yes. a few. I would talk to them privately.
  • MlssCue... Kashee 2012/08/11 09:01:01
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    Thank you. I did & it's a done deal now :-)
  • Fariborz-Zak 2012/08/11 08:11:02
  • MlssCue... Faribor... 2012/08/11 09:00:45
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    Thank you!
  • Firefly 2012/08/11 03:12:49
    Firefly
    +4
    Sometimes people say things,

    without realizing others may take offense ~

    Hope it wasn't me, who made the comment you refer to...

    If it was, or ever IS, please feel free to 'cyber-smack' me, ok MissCue ?
    smack upside the head
  • MlssCue... Firefly 2012/08/11 07:15:14
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +2
    No sweetness it was not you & I'd never cyber slap you without giving you some sort of warning first LOL Thank you very much for caring & extending the offer though ;-)
  • **StarzAbove** 2012/08/10 23:34:07
    **StarzAbove**
    +4
    Yes I have, but I try to ignore it and not take offense. We all think differently and what seems to be offensive to some might not appear to be offensive to someone else. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, sometimes it works, other times, well..............
  • MlssCue... **Starz... 2012/08/11 07:14:00
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    You're right. For me, if I don't care about this person (any) I'll let it go and chances are just remove them rather than deal with them. Thankfully this person is as every bit as understanding & caring as I assumed, and it's water under the bridge now. Thank you for the words of advice :-)
  • **Starz... MlssCue... 2012/08/11 12:21:09
  • MlssCue... **Starz... 2012/08/11 14:36:41
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    So am I!! :-)
    friendship
  • **Starz... MlssCue... 2012/08/11 14:37:27
  • rand 2012/08/10 21:31:49
    rand
    +2
    It is impossible for someone on SodaHead to write anything that would prompt me to take offense. Getting offended is for me like getting angry, a choice.
  • MlssCue... rand 2012/08/11 07:04:37
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    As I said above ^^ this is not just any person on SH, but someone whom I value as a friend....if it were just any SH'er, I could care less. Thank you for the input. :-)
  • rand MlssCue... 2012/08/11 15:58:24
    rand
    +1
    I assumed the "poll" was one on SodaHead. I don't honestly know anyone on SodaHead well enough to value their opinion of me. IF this person is truly a "friend", you will be able to discuss it; if not, this person was not truly a friend. Best wishes in sorting it out.
  • Rosalie 2012/08/10 21:14:00
    Rosalie
    +2
    True friends tell each other when everything is ok and not ok . Standing up for what you believe in, is not sensitive ; Its being grown and standing strong !!!
  • MlssCue... Rosalie 2012/08/11 07:11:55
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    Thank you for the helpful words :-)
  • SA 2012/08/10 20:45:59
    SA
    +4
    I've seen things posted that could hurt many of us, personally. That is why I always try to think before I write or speak.
  • **Starz... SA 2012/08/10 23:35:29
    **StarzAbove**
    +3
    I've never seen you write anything that would be offensive to anyone, your comments are always so respectful and nice to all of us.
  • SA **Starz... 2012/08/11 13:40:00
    SA
    +1
    I try Starz, I try.
  • **Starz... SA 2012/08/11 14:06:56 (edited)
    **StarzAbove**
    +1
    And you have succeeded. We all need to follow your example!

    friends   doves
  • SA **Starz... 2012/08/11 14:16:44
    SA
    +1
    Awh you are too sweet!!
  • MlssCue... SA 2012/08/11 07:11:33
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +2
    Same here. I am not one who speaks without thinking. I've put my foot in my mouth before but I don't remember it ever being over a hurtful thing. At any rate Starz is right, I've never seen you put anything offensive either! thank you :-0
  • terrabytes 2012/08/10 20:40:49
    terrabytes
    +2
    Yes, I hear what you are saying. I don't know why athiests even send me friend requests. I am Christian and it is on my profile page. I deny them most of the time because I have already read their posts or comments as to their opinion of Christians and our beliefs. Some of it is really insulting. I do not refer to all of them, just some.
  • MlssCue... terrabytes 2012/08/11 07:10:06
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    Thank you :-)
  • Chris- Demon of the PHAET 2012/08/10 20:35:32
    Chris- Demon of the PHAET
    +3
    It's a fine line on this site. I will tell you how I handle this issue. I have several Christians and one Scientologist on my friends list who I genuinely like but I am an atheist and on some religious issues I have very strong opinions they might find offensive. Because I believe everyone has the right to own opinions and because these people have always been respectful to me I am the same to them.
    Having said that I probably would not ignore something that was blatantly racist or offensive. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it but I would say something. I don't think anyone should ignore hate speech if you don't agree with it.

    BTW MissCue you know everyone on your friends is now wondering if they wrote anything offensive recently. LOL...
  • Transqu... Chris- ... 2012/08/10 20:56:52
    Transquesta
    +2
    I've been frantically searching my records, but I don't have enough info to go on. Nutz!
  • Chris- ... Transqu... 2012/08/11 07:02:31
    Chris- Demon of the PHAET
    +3
    LOL...
  • MlssCue... Chris- ... 2012/08/11 07:09:34
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    I know we have yet to have an issue. I have others friends here & IRL who are Atheists. I am not put here to judge. I am here to love. But only freaking great people like us, get that! ;-)
    I'm sure they were, but no worries, got it worked out. Thank you for the advice & input (and of course the laugh) ;-)
  • Chris- ... MlssCue... 2012/08/11 08:32:52
    Chris- Demon of the PHAET
    ;-)
  • "OG" 2012/08/10 20:33:24
    "OG"
    +3
    It has happened to me while going to the aid of a friend.
  • MlssCue... "OG" 2012/08/11 07:07:24
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +2
    Figures. Thank you.
  • "OG" MlssCue... 2012/08/11 12:22:57
    "OG"
    Your very welcome.
  • AlexTheDrummer 2012/08/10 20:17:41
    AlexTheDrummer
    +3
    Yes. One boy who I thought was my friend who had asked me out on a date (I turned him down), told me that my other friend that I wanted to date just pretended to like me so that I didn't feel bad.
  • MlssCue... AlexThe... 2012/08/11 07:07:05
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    That's so cruel & wrong. I'm sorry you ran into such a jerk! Thank you for sharing.
  • Transquesta 2012/08/10 20:13:00
    Transquesta
    +5
    Friends (online and off) occupy a special place in our hearts. That means they can do more damage, accidentally, than casual acquaintances or even enemies can do deliberately. I would *imagine* that whomever this friend was did not mean to hurt your feelings or even, conceivably, realize they had done so.

    Even so, people tend to speak to the audience at hand--meaning that their attitudes will be tailored to that specific audience and may not be a completely complete/accurate representation of their 'true' opinions. In short, I'd give them the opportunity to explain themselves. . .and then cut them off at the knees. :-)

    Anyway, judging by the fact that we're still friends, I'll just 'assume' I wasn't the offending party. That's good, 'cuz I like you, MissCue. :->
  • MlssCue... Transqu... 2012/08/11 07:05:49
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    Thank you :-)
  • Transqu... MlssCue... 2012/08/11 07:18:06
    Transquesta
    +1
    You're welcome. :-)
  • Max7 2012/08/10 20:10:05
    Max7
    +3
    I have, and once my anger subsided, I politely mentioned it to her.
  • Transqu... Max7 2012/08/10 20:14:23
    Transquesta
    +1
    An excellent/wise response to both the situation and the question. :-)
  • Max7 Transqu... 2012/08/10 20:25:49
    Max7
    +2
    Thank you, sometimes I think those who are close to us, think that they are priviy to say whatever they want, hurtful or not; and this is not the case.

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