Have You Ever Had Someone Just Suck The Life Out of Your Creativity?

PirateMate 2010/10/12 10:33:56
Related Topics: Vampire
Yes, I have someone who sucks the life out of me
No, I don't hang with People like that
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"Those kids in costumes are not the scariest things out there this Halloween season. Far more frightening are certain adults – energy vampires – who masquerade as ordinary people in your everyday life. They can be friends, spouses, co-workers – even mere acquaintances, and they lurk at just about every corner.

"Energy vampires suck the life right out of you," says Cindy Kubica, author and award-winning motivational speaker. "And beware -- they don't come out just at Halloween. They're a year-round drain on your emotional and physical energy supply"

Energy vampires can be incessant whiners, chronic complainers or people who are moody and unpredictable. They can be arrogant dictators who try to dominate everyone and every situation. Or they can be people so candy-sweet that getting too much of them can make you sick.

"Although it's easy to recognize most E-Draculas, others aren't so obvious – they often work in subtle yet effective ways," says Kubica. "For your own sanity, you must stand up to your energy vampires, and take responsibility for your happiness and peace of mind. Stand up to your energy vampires"

Kubica says the first step to escaping the bite of these energy-sucking ghouls is to recognize who they are because you cannot change what you don't acknowledge. She offers these tips for taking control:

• Make four columns on a piece of paper. In the first column, identify people who drain you of energy. These are your energy vampires.

• In column two, list the behavior or habit that wears you out.

• In column three, answer these questions: Is this behavior directed just toward me or do others have similar complaints? Is it intentional? Is it harmful, if so, how? After answering these questions, it's time to draw firm lines in the sand.

- more-

• In column four, plan what you will say to the person who drains you. Note: you want to address a situation caused by the behavior or habit, not attack the person.

- Identify your concern. Be direct. Don't leave the person guessing.

- Say how you feel. Use words like "I'm frustrated" or "I'm upset"

- Keep it short and to the point. The more words, the weaker your message.

- Avoid attack-words like "you," "always," "never" and the big one – "but" These words make people mad. "But" only negates what you said before.

- Watch your tone. Sarcasm, condescension and disrespect cause people to be angry and resentful, and they will stop listening to what you have to say.

- Ask or tell, don't complain or yell. Simply put, yelling doesn't work.

- Seek a solution. Offer your own then ask for their suggestions.

- Practice what you plan to say.

Kubica says, "When these people start driving you batty, it's time to stop offering them your neck. You have the power to send your energy vampires back into the shadows," says Kubica. "Stand up for yourself and take back your life. You can – you must – teach others how you want to be treated"

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  • Luna 2011/05/08 16:42:16
    Yes, I have someone who sucks the life out of me
    No matter what I do my mother finds it important to point out my "shortcomings". I want a divorce. Apparently I am a constant source of disappointment for her, but she wants to keep me in her life. WTF?!
  • Angi 2010/10/12 22:53:35
    None of the above
    I understand what you mean, unfortunately the people I knew like that were my parents.
    But I grew up to have very creative kids that I encourage.
  • METALheadMom 2010/10/12 18:01:14
    Actually, my mother is law is definitely an energy vampire. When I first met her, I couldn't figure out why the next day I felt like just sleeping all day. Then I found a great website that explained what an energy vampire is - it was her all the way. My family no longer has anything to do with her at all.
  • Metalthatroxursox 2010/10/12 17:14:59
    Yes, I have someone who sucks the life out of me
    I went to school for art training ...so yeah I had quite a few creativity suckers! =/
  • Captain Sticky 2010/10/12 13:38:37
    Yes, I have someone who sucks the life out of me
    Captain Sticky
    Yep. My ex wife. That's why she's the EX wife.
  • unicorn_lady1 2010/10/12 11:09:08
    None of the above
    I have always said that if you know, respect, and love yourself, you will not be fooled by people like this. It is very rare that I would point out to someone that they are sapping my energy. No, instead I walk away.

    We have so little time for others as it is. So little time for the ones we love that nourish our lives. Why would we ever allow one minute of that time to be taken by someone who not only has nothing to offer, but takes until there is nothing left to give.
  • PirateMate unicorn... 2010/10/12 11:12:53
    What if it is your significant other, but you didn't know this in the beginning?
  • unicorn... PirateMate 2010/10/12 12:17:40
    You walk.
  • Luna PirateMate 2011/05/08 16:44:34
    You know it now! Run, Forrest! Run!
  • Patric unicorn... 2010/10/12 11:49:26
    as if they attempt to suck the very life out of your lungs...

    run, run away, run fast....
  • Daniel 2010/10/12 11:03:50
    None of the above
    I'm one, It can be a bad thing. Most dictators and kings are like this, but not all kings were tyrants. Jesus was one of these I'm sure. It comes from confidense and fulfilment. Such people stand out from others and dominate rooms. They generate a tremendous amount of energy that actually drains energy from others. My mother divorced my father because he was one. She told me the day he walked out the door, " There goes the greatest man I had ever known." I asked her why she would leave him then. She told me he was to powerful and I was the same man. The two of us drained her and she couldn't take it anymore.

    We can all become energy vampires, if that's what you want to call it. The thing is we should stand as examples of what a good man or woman is and not as a tyrant.
  • Patric 2010/10/12 10:51:27 (edited)
    No, I don't hang with People like that
    Life is too short , and I do not want / need the negative vibes..

    sorry thing is, some times I am unable to physicaly remove my self from the black hole , but I am able to drift away to my happy place , removed of the restraint of interaction, I am free to fly away.

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