it used to be a state of mind, now it's just bad days and worse days, feelings of suicide are a comfort to me even if I never do kill myself, knowing there's a way out that can't be taken away from me is good to know.
Quite a few times, unfortunately. I've been on antidepressants since I was 12 but sometimes they just aren't enough. I've never seriously attempted suicide, I've gotten help before then, but I have seriously considered it. And I have had cutting issues since I was 12.
When I was held captive for three months and my captor was making plans to kill me, and he went into detail about how he was going to do it. So it was for me a kind of last act of rebellion on my part. I was gonna kill myself so I could exit this world on MY terms not his.
I never thought I was like everyone else...I wake up able to see, to sit up, to stand up, to walk around, to speak, to sing, to dance, to run, to smile, the frown, etc. I can do these things and more in 15 minutes.
when i was 14, my doctor told me since i have epilepsey, i can't drive or play contact sports. It was hard to concentrate on things since my brain was effected & i don't have control over myself. I couldn't do anything but stay at home all day & watch TV.
At some point in everyone's lives, they do get depressed and the do feel worthless. That question springs up, 'Would the world be better without me?', and the thought that 'it would' possesses us. But, you can't fall prey to it; suicide is the easy way out. Even though you may feel so terrible inside, and be it a mental condition or just a stage of life, you can overcome it. The sun does shine, no matter how hard things get. If people knock you down, stand up and show them that you are better than them, show them they are wrong, and that you can make it where you are going. Don't give in sweetie. xo <3
Once actually, and recent. I was emotionally devistated after an emotional tide just washed over me, everything was wrong and no one seemed to notice, as well as I was in a foreign country.
But I could never go through with it seeing how I generally love life so much, despite all my issues and occasional complaining.
As the late great comedian Rodney Dangefield used to say: "I tell you, I get no respect. Yesterday, I called the suicide hotline and they put me on hold."
I have the joy of the Lord that has gotten me through the darkest of times in my life. I must admit I got to that dark of place once. It was fleeting thank God. But I am glad I had that experience because now I have the tools to understand others.
It was when I was about your age in High School. That really is a rotten time isn't it ? I was an outsider with few friends and having trouble in almost every area. It is rotten and sounds formulating but things really do get better afterwards. If you can survive that holding your head up high you can get through just about anything. Hope it helps.
Let's see, I was pretty small all throughout high school and was picked on and bullied. I was a sci-fi freak which made me even more of an outcast back then. I was very shy around girls and the VERY few times that I got up the nerve to talk to one I was ALWAYS shot down in pretty cruel fashion. Basically I felt completely useless and unwanted. I am not saying that I am living the dream life now but it is enjoyable most of the time. Hopefully you can get through this and go on to your dream life, or at least a close facsimile. :)
Sadly, more than once. But when I do feel that way, I give myself the proverbial " kick up the butt" and up to now, anyway, that has always pulled me out of it...
Glad you are alive anyway :)
But I could never go through with it seeing how I generally love life so much, despite all my issues and occasional complaining.