First, if it's the stone size, why not see if you can take the larger stone from the old ring and have it put in the new one? I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm a strong believer in the thought being worth more than the deed. Perhaps, on your 10th wedding anniversary, you can have a new ring made. Right now, I'm wearing my mother's ring. I used to think it was sort of ugly and always thought that when I inherited it, I would have the stones reset. Now, it's on my hand, and when I look at it, I don't see the ugly ring, but I see my mother, instead. The stones in the ring are my mom's plus my grandmother's so I feel like I am wearing history of my family when I see it. I know the stories behind the stones, and that's more important than the look of it.
Ultimately, if you can't find that you can wear it, you need to be honest. Hope this helps.
Hate My Engagement Ring
HiYa
2012/06/27 02:44:19
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Okay, my fiancé of 3.5 yrs popped the question in May. It was a romantic beach picnic he'd prepared for us overlooking the Irish Sea. He is everything I want in a person, and while he's not perfect... I am so blessed, because he's perfect for me.
The issue is... I really don't like this engagement ring. He had it custom made, based on some styles I liked... I told him to sacrifice the quality of the center stone in favor of size, if it came down to it. He didn't listen; instead he listened to his jeweler and got an amazing high grade stone that is too small to compliment my hand. It's a respectable ring, and it's not by any means cheap, but I simply don't care for it.
I have tried to get used to the idea, tried to talk myself into liking it… I try to focus on the symbolism of what it means rather than the ring itself, but I simply don't like it. My sisters have said that I am being ungrateful. To make matters more interesting, I was engaged once before, and I kept the ring (which I personally selected). I liked it much, much better... And I was wondering how bad is it, if I wear that one, when my fiancé is not around?
I have tried to get used to the idea, tried to talk myself into liking it… I try to focus on the symbolism of what it means rather than the ring itself, but I simply don't like it. My sisters have said that I am being ungrateful. To make matters more interesting, I was engaged once before, and I kept the ring (which I personally selected). I liked it much, much better... And I was wondering how bad is it, if I wear that one, when my fiancé is not around?
I’d appreciate your honest thoughts, but please don’t be overtly mean. Seriously, I feel bad enough.
Top Opinion
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Pele Emerging 2012/06/27 03:01:10
No matter how much you don't like the new ring, wearing the old ring even when he's not around is such a bad idea. Eventually, you will forget to take it off, and he will see you wearing it or someone else will see it and tell him about it. He will be beyond hurt and probably really angry too. Wearing another man's ring is just a really super bad idea, and disrespectful to your fiance on top of it.
Secondly, I can understand being picky about the kind of jewelry you like to wear, but seriously, an engagement ring is not about what it looks like and whether or not it "compliments" your hand. He had this ring custom made while thinking of you. It's an expensive expression of his commitment to you alone. You don't have to like the thing, but the thought and care he put into it should mean more to you than the size of the rock. If you love the guy enough, you'll get over the ring not being what you'd choose because what the ring means is far more important than how big the stone is.
My own engagement ring is not something I would have picked out for myself, but it means more to me than anything I could have chosen because my fiance picked out something that made him think of me. I would ha...
No matter how much you don't like the new ring, wearing the old ring even when he's not around is such a bad idea. Eventually, you will forget to take it off, and he will see you wearing it or someone else will see it and tell him about it. He will be beyond hurt and probably really angry too. Wearing another man's ring is just a really super bad idea, and disrespectful to your fiance on top of it.
Secondly, I can understand being picky about the kind of jewelry you like to wear, but seriously, an engagement ring is not about what it looks like and whether or not it "compliments" your hand. He had this ring custom made while thinking of you. It's an expensive expression of his commitment to you alone. You don't have to like the thing, but the thought and care he put into it should mean more to you than the size of the rock. If you love the guy enough, you'll get over the ring not being what you'd choose because what the ring means is far more important than how big the stone is.
My own engagement ring is not something I would have picked out for myself, but it means more to me than anything I could have chosen because my fiance picked out something that made him think of me. I would have been happy even if it was the tiniest, cheapest little diamond chip on the planet because he wants to spend the rest of our lives together. You should keep in mind that you're marrying the man, not the ring. If it really bothers you that much, put it away in a jewelry box after the wedding. You don't have to wear it forever.
Gracias!
My guy is a bit sensitive to take straight forward criticism without being wounded. When he brings it up (which he will) or the next time we're socializing with the jeweler, which happens occasionally (and the jeweler) brings it up, I am going to mention some modifications. Until then, I've decided to simply not focus on the ring... Seriously, I have so many other things going on ithat are a lot more pressing than a nice ring that just isn't 'ideal.'
I am not a young woman. I am well into my 30's so there is nothing cute about having a smaller stone at my age. My fingers are not little so this ring doesn't do anything to compliment my hand.
It sends the wrong message...
Even if that isn't at all how you feel, it still sends the wrong message.
Consider living with it for now and changing the stone later, or asking him about changing the stone while emphasizing that you still love the ring. It's a really tough one but I think you do have to be able to be honest with him. Just be gentle.
I know this stuff means a lot to women. It's not something most men obsess over. Your guy tried to do something nice for you.
If you are SO underwhelmed with his choice, maybe he will understand, and agree to some amalgamation of the 2 rings.
I would be pissed off at you. But that's me.
Why wouldn't I?
stop pouting over it.. its about the love not the ring...
Ultimately, if you can't find that you can wear it, you need to be honest. Hope this helps.