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Has your child ever been ‘slut shamed’ -- criticized for alleged sexual activity?

ABC News U.S. 2013/06/27 18:00:00
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Katelyn Campbell, 18, is a high school senior in Charleston, W. Va. In April a pro-abstinence guest speaker, Pam Stenzel, spoke at her school. Campbell researched Stenzel and watched YouTube videos of her speeches.



Campbell believe that Stenzel wrongly does what teens themselves are often guilty of: “slut shaming,” teen vernacular for treating sex as not a normal part of teen development but something shameful that sexually active students should feel bad about. She shared her views with friends and classmates, and a local reporter, who wrote a story. Campbell was criticized by angry parents and fellow students for her objection to Stenzel.

The incident shows the volatile mix of religion, sex and sex education, bullying and social media that many families struggle with nowadays. Have you or has your family struggled with this issue? Chime in below, and watch the full story on “20/20: If These Halls Could Talk” Friday at 10 ET.

Read More: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/06/has-...

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Top Opinion

  • OzSurfer 2013/06/28 03:11:56
    No.
    OzSurfer
    +20
    I can't believe that these kind of crazy antiquated views against women still exist. What about the guys in all this? Sadly it seems women in some parts of the world are considered sluts while the guys learn respect for women from watching Internet porn and dont get the bad rap for their equal contribution. Women deserve to be treated a lot better. Safe sex is great sex.

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  • sally 2013/07/03 07:55:08 (edited)
    No.
    sally
    +3
    It's sad that I see that if a girl has sex then she's a "slut" but if a guy "scores" he's the "stud" -_-



    WHEN WILL IT CHANGE???
  • DeejaySpaniel 2013/07/03 06:40:49
    Yes.
    DeejaySpaniel
    +2
    My sexual appetite does not demean nor determine my status and it never should.
  • whateverbabynevermind 2013/07/02 22:14:12
  • joe levac whateve... 2013/07/03 02:27:14
    joe levac
    +2
    you might change your mind if she inadvertently gives you herpes from a hug or kiss actually you can get it from no sexual contact you then get sores that other viruses will enter your body possibly infecting your brain causing tumors but thats what people are not saying here its very complex and you might get an std form your parents or other people you come in contact with what you people lack in understanding is that you are displacing others using sex because it motivates people and less motivated people get left out because we understand the hidden dangers and agendas of control and manipulation that sex allows on the young mind mostly to sell pills like birth control which causes strokes and makes your partner change sexual partners because birth control makes females seek out males with less testosterone this is why masculine dudes are less sougt after because BIRTH control WARPS your mind .ANd if you get sick with some std that is big money for big pharma so doctors pharmcys make money at you expense like emotional pain cured with anti depression you see its a money making plan palying on your weakness.

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  • whateve... joe levac 2013/07/03 08:50:40
    whateverbabynevermind
    +2
    You cannot get an STD from a hug. And no offense, but you really can't convince to believe your ridiculous conspiracy theories so feel free to go bother someone else.
  • Yami no... whateve... 2013/07/03 19:08:41 (edited)
    Yami no KoHime
    Um, yes you can. Skin to Skin contact is one way to get a disease (not every type, mind you, but there are one or two, maybe more that you can get from it), didn't they teach you this in school...?
  • whateve... Yami no... 2013/07/07 13:11:55
    whateverbabynevermind
    +2
    Oh yes, know I remember when we learned that AIDs is transmitted through a handshake. You literally need to exchange bodily fluids. You can get herpes and mono from a kiss, sure, where saliva is exchanged. Did you ever go to school?
  • Yami no... whateve... 2013/07/08 16:01:05
    Yami no KoHime
    Did I ever go...? I'm still IN school. That what I meant, herpes, I just learnt the subject a month ago. Now you, I have no idea how old you are, and I'm highly doubting you're younger than me. Should you really be asking if I went to school?
  • whateve... Yami no... 2013/07/09 10:28:10
    whateverbabynevermind
    +2
    I'm asking if you went to school because you sound like a mentally impaired toddler. And if you recall, I said "you cannot get an STD from a hug." to which you replied: "Um, yes you can. Skin to skin contact is one way to get a disease" so you were clearly talking about STDs. Then I point out that to get herpes and mono you need to exchange bodily fluids, and you tell me that's what you're talking about? It doesn't make any sense that at first you claimed that STDs are transferrable through skin to skin contact and then only through the exchange of bodily fluids. Or did you realize your mistake but were too proud to admit that you were wrong? So stop trying to change the topic by pondering my age.
  • Yami no... whateve... 2013/07/09 21:38:09
    Yami no KoHime
    Mentally impaired...? Wow you're an idiot. If where you live toddlers go to high-school, then sure, but not where I am. STD's and herpes are all diseases. That WAS what I was talking about, herpes was what was on my mind when I mentioned that. I'm not changing the topic, with you asking me if I've went to school, it makes me wonder about whether you went or not. I don't know if you're self-conscious or something like that, but most humans are prideful creatures. Aren't you, human I mean.
  • Mandy 2013/07/02 18:36:58
    No.
    Mandy
    But I've never been promiscuous either or worn really revealing clothing.
  • Altering_Minds. 2013/07/02 18:01:10
    No.
    Altering_Minds.
    +2
    VIRGINS FTW!!!
    Yay
    Too young anyway
  • Faith ~American Patriot~ 2013/07/02 17:54:35
    No.
    Faith ~American Patriot~
    My daughter is too young at this point.
  • Pug For Huck 2013/07/02 15:29:22
    No.
    Pug For Huck
    My daughter is a very good dresser and never puts herself in that position. Says a thankful dad.
  • BlunderWoman ~ FTGOP~ BN 0 2013/07/02 15:11:01
    No.
    BlunderWoman ~ FTGOP~ BN 0
    +1
    Not shamed for sexual activity, but I do feel that she was shamed, regardless. My kids' school has a dress code that includes a policy against clothes with spaghetti straps, and I take great care in making sure my kids' clothes meet all dress code policies. Anyway, my daughter has this tank dress that she has worn to school several times this year and last year, problem free. It is well fitting, not too short, the straps are more than two inches wide, and definitely not spaghetti straps.

    On the next-to-last day of school, the projected high temperature for the day was 98 degrees, so I dressed both kids accordingly. My daughter wore a tank dress, and my son wore a tank top shirt and a pair of shorts. Imagine my surprise when I got a call from my daughter's teacher at 7:30 in the morning, telling me to bring something to cover my daughter's shoulders, that her dress wasn't allowed because the straps were too narrow, and a "distraction" to other students.

    I told her I would come right away, and apologized profusely, saying that she must have changed at some point while I was helping my son get ready. l wondered how I had managed to not notice her clothes while I stood at the bus stop with my kids. The bus had been quite late, so we had several extra minutes. How coul...



    Not shamed for sexual activity, but I do feel that she was shamed, regardless. My kids' school has a dress code that includes a policy against clothes with spaghetti straps, and I take great care in making sure my kids' clothes meet all dress code policies. Anyway, my daughter has this tank dress that she has worn to school several times this year and last year, problem free. It is well fitting, not too short, the straps are more than two inches wide, and definitely not spaghetti straps.

    On the next-to-last day of school, the projected high temperature for the day was 98 degrees, so I dressed both kids accordingly. My daughter wore a tank dress, and my son wore a tank top shirt and a pair of shorts. Imagine my surprise when I got a call from my daughter's teacher at 7:30 in the morning, telling me to bring something to cover my daughter's shoulders, that her dress wasn't allowed because the straps were too narrow, and a "distraction" to other students.

    I told her I would come right away, and apologized profusely, saying that she must have changed at some point while I was helping my son get ready. l wondered how I had managed to not notice her clothes while I stood at the bus stop with my kids. The bus had been quite late, so we had several extra minutes. How could I be so unobservant? I was really kicking myself over it. So, I brought a t-shirt to the school, and waited for my daughter to be called to the office. While I was waiting, I noticed another girl in a higher grade wearing the same dress...with no t-shirt underneath.

    My daughter came to the office, and was wearing the dress I had put on her that morning. The dress with straps that were within the dress code. The dress that minutes before I had seen another student wearing. I'm not sure which thought was more disturbing: that the teacher thought my 8 year old daughter's exposed shoulders were distracting, or that the teacher thought that other people should be protected somehow from my 8 year old daughter's exposed shoulders. I mean, what normal person thinks about an 8 year old kid in that way?

    I asked the principal about the dress, and she agreed that it was within the dress code. She apologized, and offered to talk to the teacher. My daughter didn't really seem to be fazed by it, but I have to admit I found the whole thing to be pretty upsetting. The teacher never apologized, but I am satisfied knowing she got a refresher course in what dress code appropriate clothing looks like.
    (more)
  • das Blunder... 2013/07/19 02:12:48
  • Blunder... das 2013/07/19 02:24:48
    BlunderWoman ~ FTGOP~ BN 0
    Small farming town, USA.
  • andy15554 2013/07/02 14:29:31
    No.
    andy15554
    Kids are mean, If a child is sexually active for attention it is a very sad thing. It's best to not get wrapped up in anything but getting an education, which is hard with todays public schools.
  • Peru 2013/07/02 13:11:33
    No.
    Peru
    No, but then again I don't have any daughters of reproductive age.

    Look, it's very simple. A girl, if she's attractive, will get approached by men all the time. Even assuming that the girl only gets hit on once a day, that's 365 people a year and 3,650 per decade. Girls must be able to sift through all that attention and focus on the guys who really are worth getting with. Women who do not do this or cannot do it well are looked down on. That's life - get over it.
  • Jezebel 2013/07/02 00:02:26
    Yes.
    Jezebel
    +1
    Not my kid (don't have one) but my sister. She got pulled out of public school for being teased and harassed and she'd never even so much as KISSED a boy until last summer. It's sad the notions kids get into their heads and then the way they lash out against others.
  • Sailor Jerry [Proud Liberta... 2013/07/01 22:48:20
  • SW 2013/07/01 21:36:24 (edited)
    No.
    SW
    I'm a guy. We have "Slut hi-fives." But that's actually not true sometimes guys "slut shame" other guys out of envy. I say that because it's always guys who can't get a date themselves and when they can they have morality that seems to no longer apply to themselves...

    Oh my Child... Well no, not that I know of. She's pretty popular with the ladies and guys. I doubt it.
  • ««Gingey, the Master Debate... 2013/07/01 20:09:31
    Yes.
    ««Gingey, the Master Debater of Þ|-|Дэ†»»
    +7
    Once, when I was 17, I went for a run in my neighborhood and I was wearing a tank top and running shorts. As I was on my run, a truck full of young men stopped next to me, and its occupants shouted horrible, demeaning things to me. I then ran home and cried to my parents about it, and my dad said "well no wonder, look at what you're wearing!" I lost a lot of love and respect for my father that day. What a horrible way to treat your daughter.
  • DeejayS... ««Ginge... 2013/07/03 06:48:02
    DeejaySpaniel
    +1
    I'm really sorry that you went through that - and that was the worst possible way your father could have reacted.
  • ««Ginge... DeejayS... 2013/07/03 08:17:40
    ««Gingey, the Master Debater of Þ|-|Дэ†»»
    Thanks, and I know :( I think one of the worst parts of it was how my mom said nothing...
  • Xinea 2013/07/01 18:21:02
    No.
    Xinea
    +3
    Don't have a daughter, but I think most girls have experienced slutshaming in some form or another. How many have heard something along the lines of "Keep your legs closed," or "You're not going anywhere if you have a kid," or "Don't dress like that when you go out, you might provoke someone."
  • kdm_souljah 2013/07/01 17:59:04
    No.
    kdm_souljah
    People like that are just another extreme,i dislike people like her and the sluts because it does not tackle these issues in a fair and balanced way.
  • Bill 2013/07/01 17:00:50
    No.
    Bill
    Bullying??? It looks as if Stenzel was being bullied and slammed.
    Stenzel is right. Sex should not be a normal part of teen development. There are a lot of serious consequences that can come from it: STD's, pregnancy, abortion, etc.
    If you think that THAT should be a normal part of teen development, have at it.
  • DeejayS... Bill 2013/07/03 06:51:58
    DeejaySpaniel
    +1
    The problem with slut-shaming isn't abstinence, and it certainly doesn't just affect teenagers. The problem with slut shaming is that women who are promiscuous are considered in a negative light, while men with the same standards are not seen this way.

    The other aspect of slut-shaming is what's known as "victim blaming" - where a rape victim is blamed rather than the rapist because of the way she dressed or acted.

    Another point stems from the association of "promiscuous" with "morally loose" - that a woman who enjoys sex cannot possibly have morals, and that promiscuity is a negative thing.
  • Yami no KoHime 2013/07/01 16:26:18
    No.
    Yami no KoHime
    +2
    Men AND Women should be shamed. Make it fair :/
  • DeejayS... Yami no... 2013/07/03 06:52:06
    DeejaySpaniel
    Why?
  • Yami no... DeejayS... 2013/07/03 19:07:04
    Yami no KoHime
    Because underage sex is horrible, if they're over 18, i don't care.
  • DeejayS... Yami no... 2013/07/04 00:02:30
    DeejaySpaniel
    The age of consent in my country is 16. So, now at 17, do you care if I'm sexually active?
  • Yami no... DeejayS... 2013/07/04 20:10:32
    Yami no KoHime
    Not really. Even though i think that's young, you're past the legal age. So if you wanna sleep with other people that doesn't bother me...
  • DeejayS... Yami no... 2013/07/08 10:08:54
    DeejaySpaniel
    But I'm not 18. If I have sex in your country, does that bother you?
  • whateve... Yami no... 2013/07/03 09:11:22
    whateverbabynevermind
    +1
    Nobody should be shamed for exploring their sexuality.
  • Yami no... whateve... 2013/07/03 19:07:23
    Yami no KoHime
    They should be to me, if they're having sex underage.
  • whateve... Yami no... 2013/07/07 13:12:26
    whateverbabynevermind
    Nobody said anything about having intercourse before consenting age.
  • Soms Cougli 2013/07/01 16:13:05
    Yes.
    Soms Cougli
    +3
    Not my child, haha, I don't have any of those, but I was, though never called it "slut shamed".
    I was quite small in high school, but have always had a larger chest and a small waist. I was proud of that until people started telling me I was "asking for it" and calling me "slut", "skank", and whatever other ridiculous insults they could think of. I gained ten kilos (roughly 22lbs I think?) and of course, then I was fat. Then I came out, and I was a lesbian slut, and a skank all over again.
    I don't get why kids aren't being taught not to say things like this. The younger the generation, the worse they are.
  • rtk 2013/07/01 07:41:56
    Yes.
    rtk
    +6
    Where I used to live, it was common for people to yell out "slut," "how much??" and "put some clothes on!" to any girl who was considered to be inappropriately dressed. When I stepped out in a dress, someone slapped a paper sign on my back that said I give blowjobs for money. When I complained, a male teacher told me "at least they don't grope you."

    One of my friends had her yearbook filled with unsolicited written comments about her cup size after she passed her book around the class. She brought the book to the office, and they told her to "wear high-cut shirts." To my knowledge, no one who wrote comments was disciplined. Two women close to where I live were raped, and the local press wrote about their outfits and "personality" rather than the attack. It was so bad one of the victims killed herself, the other moved away.

    Not that it matters, but I wasn't having sex when any of this slut-shaming occurred. Fun fact: Sex does not have to happen for slut-shaming to occur.
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