Hair flipping... do you do it?

۩Osiris۩ Loves Isis forever 2009/10/13 05:57:59
Yes. I do it to let guys know I am interested and I do it on purpose.
Yes, I have been told I do it, but it is just a nervous habit.
No, I know how that is percieved so I don't do it.
I do it sometimes... depends on how much I've had to drink! LOL
None of the above
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Ladies - Hair flipping (or hair twirling) is a subliminal signal that there is a sexual interest and a form of flirting... do you do it? Intentionally? Habitually? Sub-consciously?

From the internet

Hair-flipping and its terrible consequences.
Most women with shoulder-length or longer hair will flip it from time to time. I am using this term in its most general sense. I take it to mean anything from brushing strands out of their eyes to a full flip after putting on a jacket. I have studied this curious action for quite some time now, and the reasons are many and varied. Some of them are:

- to remove visual obstruction
- to stop the jacket or some other article of clothing from pinning the hair down
- to brush away hairs that are sticking to one's neck or face
- out of habit

One unintentional effect of hair-flipping is to make me fall in love with you. I don't know why it is so, it just is. When a woman flips her hair, the whole scene goes into bullet-time for me. Her fingers seem to run effortlessly through the shining, unique strands. A breeze appears out of nowhere and gently sculpts the delicate waves of shimmering silk into a vision of glory. In short, it looks exactly like a television commercial for some hair product. I am devastated and floored by such a fleeting, yet wondrous display of femininity.

So if you are one of those who is in the habit of flipping your hair, don't blame me if I develop a crush on you.

Here's another one...

Lots of women have flirting down to a science. So does Dr. Monica Moore.

Let's say you're a single guy. And let's say you notice a woman across the aisle who just smiled in your direction. She looks at you again, then lowers her eyes. She smoothes her hair, tilts her head slightly, exposing her neck. You're intrigued, but before you find the courage to speak to her, you need to know: Is she flirting with you?

Although it might be easier to identify flirting in, say, a singles' bar, there are consistent and identifiable messages that women send to signal interest in men, according to Dr. Monica Moore, an associate professor in the department of behavioral and social sciences at Webster University in St. Louis. After spending more than 1,000 hours of observation in singles' bars, shopping malls, and libraries, Moore has cataloged fifty-two behaviors that she defines as flirtatious - behaviors designed to attract and keep the attention of a potential mate. Her test? Within fifteen seconds of the observed "signal," the man responds - coming closer or touching, for instance - or the behavior isn't counted.

Although these flirting behaviors are mostly what you might expect - there's the hair flip, the lip lick, the pout, the coy smile - Moore's findings seem to contradict some enduring myths about singles and sexual success. First, it turns out that attractiveness is not the best predictor for who will be approached - flirting is. "What we found is that a high-signaling but less attractive woman will be far more successful than a low-signaling but very attractive woman," Moore says. And, second, when a man approaches a woman to ask for that first dance, it is not an act of bravery after all, but an action that has been preapproved by the woman.

"A man rarely approaches a strange woman without receiving some indication beforehand - almost always a nonverbal cue," writes anthropologist David Givens, author of Love Signals and the upcoming book Why Humans Are (due this fall). In fact, it's estimated that two-thirds of all approaches are initiated by women - so says independent researcher Tim Perper, author of Sex Signals: The Biology of Love. While he's quick to point out that a great many men do not wait for preapproval (girls, if you're alone in a restaurant or bar, they figure you're fair game), Perper and Moore concur: Women play a dominant role in courtship.

That notion isn't new. Theorizing on sexual selection back in 1872, Darwin developed the concept of "female choice"; since then, scientists have advanced the theory. "Of course we're female-selective," says anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of 1992's Anatomy of Love. "All you have to do is spend a few days with women and you'll see that."

Moore is a bit more circumspect. "Courtship is a process," she says. "No one person ever totally dominates or controls it." Although her credentials are serious - she's a dually trained experimental and clinical psychologist - Moore is aware that some regard the stuudy of courtship as, well, frivolous. That might explain why she recounts her research with compulsive care, qualifying every anecdote, explaining data collection and methodology, offering caveats and pitfalls. But after eighteen years of studying the courtship behaviors of women, the cautious academician will say this much: Women are more important players in courtship than is commonly acknowledged. And when men complain that they're the sex burdened with the risks of romantic approach, Moore says, "They've got it all wrong."

Back in 1978, Monica Moore needed a dissertation topic. Wanting to avoid the rat laboratory where she'd spent two years at the master's level, she was trying to decide between the broad categories of food and sex. Sex won out after she heard about the research of Heather Fowler Remoff.

Says Moore: "[She] asked women a very interesting question: 'What is it about the man you're currently seeing that makes him sexy?' That question really launched her into reams and reams of data because women were extremely forthcoming and told not only about their current partner, but about all the partners they'd had in the past. And I was struck that these women felt so firmly about their role in the courtship process." If this data pointed toward female choice in courtship, she says, "I thought that you ought to be able to see women making these choices." Flirting was the logical behavior to study.

Since publishing her first study in 1985, then a follow-up predictive study in 1989, Moore has become an unwitting, if ever-circumspect, spokesperson for flirting strategies; she gives a reluctant "yes" to hosting singles' seminars and appearing on radio and television programs (including Connie Chung's), and fields hundreds of media calls every year. Especially around Valentine's Day.

Moore admits that her basic findings - that when women primp, parade, and smile, men respond - are not surprising. But if the mechanics of flirting are fairly obvious, then why is she swamped every Valentine's Day? And why does Perper need to explain to men in his singles' workshops what hair flips and coy glances mean? Why are we humans so eager to have our most basic behaviors confirmed for us?

"There are a lot of things in modern society that make us insecure," Moore says. "It used to be that the boy had to ask the parents' permission to sit on the front porch with the girl. Things were much more regimented. And when we have a lot of options, we feel insecure, even if we know what to do."

Perper agrees, and he coaches women in singles' groups along these lines. "I think that fear blocks this basic pattern of going up and talking to another human being. Women will think, I'm too fat, I'm too old. But men are peculiar. They don't think you're too old or fat. They look at you and say, 'Oh! Somebody talked to me!' Because they're probably just as bored, lonely, or scared as you are. The other problem is that men just don't trust these signals," Perper says. "It's starting to be miraculous that people get together at all."

Trust doesn't seem to be at issue this evening. It's Ladies' Night at Generations nightclub, a loud, dark bar just outside St. Louis. Moore, an attractive fortysomething blonde, is in her academic element. Sitting unobtrusively at a table away from the bar, she offers further proof of her findings: After spending two or three nights a week in singles' bars for two years, neither she nor her researchers were approached. "We weren't signaling," she says, "and we sat in pairs of one man and one woman. Singles don't pay attention to couples."

To our left, up near the bar, sit two women. Just five minutes ago they sat expressionless, arms crossed, leaning back in their chairs. Now, the redhead is talking to a man, and the transformation is amazing. "It's like a light bulb's been switched on," Moore says. The redhead leans forward in her chair, slaps her knee, laughs, and tosses her hair, all while keeping her shoulders angled toward the handsome guy standing on the other side of a railing near her table.

If Moore were collecting data tonight, instead of instructing me on the nuances of flirting, she might be speaking into a concealed microphone, recording the movements of this randomly selected woman. Based on the behaviors of more than 200 such subjects, Moore's catalog documents numerous signals, including hair flips, tosses, and nods; smiles, laughs, and whispers; "solitary dances," primping, and parading. Not to mention three distinct types of glances (you've probably seen - or performed - all of them): the room-encompassing glance, the darting glance, and the longer "gaze fixate" glance.

Moore and her team of researchers also caught women caressing different portions of their own bodies (leg, arm, torso), pouting, applying lipstick, and exhibiting playful behaviors and "aid solicitations," such as holding out a cigarette for a light or waiting for a chair to be pulled out. "Are these conscious tricks?" Perper asks. "Well, let's just say they're not all planned. A gaze has to be conscious, but there's no simple answer about a lot of these behaviors."

Spontaneous or preplanned, some of the behaviors in Moore's catalog are not easily recognized as flirting. Take the "palming" gesture the redhead now shows. According to Givens, gestures like palming and the "neck presentation" are the same displays of submission exhibited by other mammals, such as wolves, to demonstrate approachability. "If you're at a party, you'll remove your necktie to show the neck dimple," says Givens. "It's a way of making yourself less threatening." Submissive displays are so central to our behavior, Givens says, that one of our most common courtship strategies seems to be to regress - and behave like children.

"Think of how a five-year-old will ask Mom for a piece of candy, with the same head tilt, lifting his shoulders, eyes down," Givens says. "It's a way of showing harmlessness. And [these sorts of displays] are the same with all mammals and primates." One surprising aspect of his research, he admits, is that these courting cues appear to be universal for heterosexuals and homosexuals. "Even the toughest, most threatening-looking guy in black leather will give very submissive cues to the other guy he's interested in."

But a neck presentation doesn't necessarily indicate true submission. It's a theatrical display, Moore points out, "used to control someone else's behavior." As for the catalog of flirting behaviors, she cautions against overinterpretation: "You can never look at one signal and say, 'Oh, she's interested in me.' You've got to have a lot of signals across time."

Perper agrees: "Just because a woman did one of Monica Moore's head tosses doesn't mean she wants to run off to Sweden with you." On the other hand, Perper says, "I tell men to be more open to the signals women send. When many women do these things, they are not accidental. They express interest! I tell the men, 'She's giving you a yellow light!' and they say, 'Oh yeah?' The men are very suspicious of this stuff."

For women, knowing about Moore's research could make one terribly self-conscious - or turn one into a terrific flirt. "I used the courtship signals to lure in my husband," Moore confides. But doesn't she think that the universality of these gestures makes us women seem predictable?

She glances over at the redhead, who is leaning forward to whisper in the handsome guy's ear. "I find flirting very beautiful behavior," she says. "A courting woman laughs more; she smiles more. When a woman uses parade, she throws back her shoulders, puts up her head. All of these behaviors make her look very attractive."

The redhead eases back into her chair and casually pulls her curly hair above her head, showing her neck. Handsome moves in. "If you look at this from an evolutionary perspective," Moore says, "women are going to do what works."

Tim Perper sums it up this way: "There's a lot more here than just bar pickups. What I am looking at is love, how people fall in love - not just flirtation, but flirtation as a sociable and pleasurable thing in itself or as a precursor to a lifetime of happiness with another person."
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2016/02/10 17:56:16

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