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Getting Back Together With Your Ex: Worth a Shot, or Usually a Bad Idea?

SodaHead Living 2012/03/02 20:51:23
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We've all been there -- there's that one person you just can't seem to stay away from, even though you've gotten back together and broken up at least three times already. Is it worth one more shot? A new study says no.

breakup

According to a report published by Kansas State University, study author Amber Vennum, assistant professor of family studies and human services, found that couples in on-again, off-again relationships tended to be less satisfied with their partner; had worse communication; made more decisions that negatively affected the relationship; had lower self-esteem; and had a higher uncertainty about their future together.

Nevertheless, 40 percent of college-age young adults "are currently in a relationship where they have broken up and then have gotten back together," Vennum said in a university news release.

And don't think everything gets better if you decide to tie the knot. The study also found that "cyclical couples" began their marriages with less satisfaction and more conflict. Guess there's no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, though many of us still feel wistful about "the one who got away" ... do you think getting back together with your ex is worth a shot? Or usually a bad idea?
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  • rebeccawyne 2013/10/08 11:45:59
  • inklight 2013/08/17 06:10:25 (edited)
    Worth a shot
    inklight
    After being married for three years it ended in divorce. A week or so after the divorce was finalized we got back together. Three times. Every time she left me for her boyfriend again. There was even a short period that we were screwing while they were together. In the end she chose her boyfriend. It destroyed me all over again, but given the chance I'd do it again. Its so much better knowing that I didn't give up on some one that meant a lot to me and that I gave my all. And honestly I got some awesome sex out of it. So I'd say go for it. Get back with your ex if you have that desire. What's the worst that could happen?
  • Megz 2012/04/15 02:08:17
    Worth a shot
    Megz
    i think its wort a shot because i was thinking abut doing it but i really am not sure :/ help :)
  • shelee.... Megz 2013/05/05 11:28:28
  • inklight Megz 2013/08/17 06:22:42
    inklight
    +3
    Well, just think about how you felt the last time you broke up. Is giving it another shot worth the hurt that you felt breaking up? It really depends on how you recover from a break up I guess. I'd say go for it. It didn't work for me but I'd still get back with an ex.
  • Alex1996 2012/04/06 15:45:59
    Worth a shot
    Alex1996
    +1
    Its worked out very well for me. But we did end on fairly good terms last time. She wonderful and it is going really well, but we have both matured. Much Love
  • UnicornVine81 2012/04/04 19:08:43
    Usually a bad idea
    UnicornVine81
    Really I think it depends on why you broke up. Say, for example, you and broke up because one of you moved, but moved back. I don't think it would be a bad idea to go back out if that's the case. But say they constantly cheated on each other or yelled/didn't trust each other, then that's most defiantly a bad idea. In most cases of people getting back together it's the later.
  • Simms 2012/04/02 11:23:51
    Usually a bad idea
    Simms
    Never look back
  • Maria 2012/03/21 15:00:23 (edited)
    Usually a bad idea
    Maria
    when something already happened between you that you broke up, then you shouldn´t be together, and if you broke up it means you dont really care about the person as much as you should.. maybe i am wrong but i would never get back to the person i dumped, or dumped me..
  • intenselyme 2012/03/07 18:57:25
    Worth a shot
    intenselyme
    +1
    Depends on how much you love them. Are you willing to give ? To make it last you both must give two hundred percent. Can you let them go and be happy with another? Or will you always wish they was still yours?
  • Centurion~PWCM~JLA 2012/03/07 05:33:26
    Usually a bad idea
    Centurion~PWCM~JLA
    Most of my exes have called back months or even years later wanting to get back together. They always had ulterior motives, never remotely in my better interests. A few I got back with just to be slammed down harder than the time before when they had what they "really" wanted.

    When the witches fly their brooms into each other, I do hope that it is at terminal velocity.


  • Rono 2012/03/05 16:13:16
    Usually a bad idea
    Rono
    +1
    You're usually X's for a reason. Unless you're the one that screwed up and know you want a do over.
    Do over
  • Lonna121593 2012/03/05 15:52:23
    Worth a shot
    Lonna121593
    i went back with an ex. It didnt turn out well but we r friends and i dont regret it.
  • gaylehelen 2012/03/05 15:48:38
    Usually a bad idea
    gaylehelen
    +1
    If it didn't work the first time, it probably won't the second time. Speaking from experience.
  • Megan Rochelle Grim-Wise 2012/03/05 14:28:14
    Usually a bad idea
    Megan Rochelle Grim-Wise
    +1
    think of why you broke or they broke up wwith you in the first place
  • Raemay 2012/03/05 14:02:50 (edited)
    Worth a shot
    Raemay
    I got back with my X boyfriend and we are more in love now. We had problems but we both love each other to keep the love we have and move forward.
  • Ruby Dear - The Fangirl of ... 2012/03/05 13:23:42
    Usually a bad idea
    Ruby Dear - The Fangirl of PHAET
    There are exceptions though.
  • ariesheshelala 2012/03/05 12:03:07
    Usually a bad idea
    ariesheshelala
    oh boy was that a big mistake..Oo
  • Sinful Minded 2012/03/05 11:51:00
    Usually a bad idea
    Sinful Minded
    They are an ex for a reason...
  • Myst 2012/03/05 11:42:38
    Usually a bad idea
    Myst
    You left them for a reason, so why go back and suffer through it all over again.
  • Bwanamaate Africa 2012/03/05 10:07:49
    Usually a bad idea
    Bwanamaate Africa
    let by gones be by gones why should really a level headed humanbeing return to the vomit .
  • Carlo 2012/03/05 10:02:56
    Worth a shot
    Carlo
    +1
    I'm a man and we screw up a lot, so it should be a rule of thumb, but if the true reasons are just selfish ones, it will never work, so kick that clown to the curb and move on.
  • greatwhyte2 2012/03/05 08:19:52
    Usually a bad idea
    greatwhyte2
    +2
    sometimes it just doesn't work no matter what you do.
  • Beat Magnum True Hero 2012/03/05 08:05:07
    Usually a bad idea
    Beat Magnum True Hero
    +1
    There's a reason you left, but, I do know of times where things worked out, and the relationship was actually stronger. Relationships require a lot of maturity. You need to strike the words "me, I, mine, etc" from your lexicon. It's a sacrifice, but the payoff is huge if you put the work into it.
  • maggie 2012/03/05 05:31:58
    Usually a bad idea
    maggie
    +2
    bad idea...youve experienced heartache already with that relationship..thats why it ended...why go through with it again...there is too many out there to meet...and that experienced with your ex might just have to be a lesson so you know how to take care of yourself not to have that bad heartache again...yeah..love hurts as always..i didnt say it wont hurt again the next time ..but atleast ull learned and you must..:p
  • TKramar 2012/03/05 05:17:18
    Usually a bad idea
    TKramar
    +1
    didn't work before, what makes you think it's going to be any different?
  • TommyB 2012/03/05 04:52:48
    Usually a bad idea
    TommyB
    +2
    Actually both. It's usually a bad idea.(Emphasis on "Usually") But still sometimes worth a shot. I got back with my ex 24 years ago and haven't regretted it for a second.
  • logan-er-a-tops 2012/03/05 04:17:18
    Usually a bad idea
    logan-er-a-tops
    +1
    no matter what you will find another reason to break up with them and a lot of the times its the same reason you broke up with them in the first place
  • OblivousPain 2012/03/05 03:55:19
    Usually a bad idea
    OblivousPain
    +2
    It depends on the guy and the reason you break up the first time.
  • zebsmom 2012/03/05 03:17:54
    Usually a bad idea
    zebsmom
    +1
    Even without the study results, it's usually a bad idea. Granted, there may be extenuating circumstances occasionally, but generally, they're your ex for a reason.
  • Mike 2012/03/05 03:10:34
    Worth a shot
    Mike
    +1
    All depends on the situation, and the parties invovled
  • *~The Doctor's Rose♥~* 2012/03/05 02:48:45
    Usually a bad idea
    *~The Doctor's Rose♥~*
    +1
    I thought the term 'ex' meant: "We're done and never going to be together again" not "Oh we broke up but now I guess you can have a second chance." In some circumstances, I guess there can be second chances, but usually it ends the same way. And also they're your ex for a reason.
  • Aahz_OneAndOnly 2012/03/05 02:39:01
    Usually a bad idea
    Aahz_OneAndOnly
    +1
    Broke up for a reason. Just move along nothing to see here lol.
  • mixedsingle.com❤date and ma... 2012/03/05 02:25:37
  • pepper5419 2012/03/05 02:02:25
    Usually a bad idea
    pepper5419
    +1
    It's a bad idea.If you have relationship problems now throw in having to trust them in marriage, then money issues,and kids.Its better to imagine what the future would be like together first.
  • ☠ Cheryl ☮ 2012/03/05 01:52:38
    Worth a shot
    ☠ Cheryl ☮
    +2
    I have to say worth a shot...I'm in that boat right now kind of.....we were never ex's but we did separate for a year.
  • Gregaj7 2012/03/05 01:23:30
    Usually a bad idea
    Gregaj7
    +1
    You parted for a reason.
  • Kat 2012/03/05 01:08:49
    Usually a bad idea
    Kat
    +2
    Ladies and Gentlemen, do yourself a favor and keep a journal when the relationship starts going bad and the word divorce enters your vocabulary. If you ever consider caustic romance part deux, just re-read a few of the choice pages. If that doesn't discourage you just peruse your attorney's summary invoice.
  • Carlo Kat 2012/03/05 09:40:28
    Carlo
    That or just look at some archived texts if you have such a thing. lol
  • Arya 2012/03/05 00:45:18
    Usually a bad idea
    Arya
    +1
    They're an 'ex' for a reason.
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