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From "Dear Tabby": Should you tell your best friend that you've developed feelings for him/her?

Tabby 2007/02/27 03:52:45
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From the advice column "Dear Tabby":

I've known my best friend for 13 years and lately I've realized that I have feelings for her. I have no idea what she thinks about me and I'm scared to tell her for fear of ruining our friendship. Should I put myself out there and risk losing a friend or should I keep my feelings under-wrap and just be happy that were friends.

What would YOU suggest?

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  • M716 2009/03/08 01:27:57
    None of the above (leave a comment)
    M716
    ur 3rd 4th and 5th answers look good to me i did this and now im wit mines so good luck and if your best friends you can get her trust me and she might give you that it might mess up our friendship excuse but dont stop trying
    reply
  • Tarryn 2008/08/09 10:09:20
    Tell her!
    Tarryn
    YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.... WHY NOT???????
    reply
  • lysa 2008/06/23 09:15:23
    Tell her!
    lysa
    "if your not willing to risk it all, then you dont want it bad enough"--thats something i heard from a friend of mine..and its completly true. tell your friend you have feelings and the two of you should talk.
    reply
  • tabitha 2008/05/23 01:05:17
    None of the above (leave a comment)
    tabitha
    if u go out u might ruin ur frendship but if i were u take the chance =]
    reply
  • Maria 2008/04/18 09:46:22
    Don't tell
    Maria
    it not worth to ruin it. friendship last longer and fun.
    reply
  • Blood_Red_Roses 2008/04/13 16:42:30
    Wait another few months and see if your crush goes away, if not, then tell her.
    Blood_Red_Roses
    Wade it out, and in the mean time, flirt with her
    reply
  • BrownEyedGirl 2007/09/25 02:17:57
    Send signals and see if she picks it up
    BrownEyedGirl
    I'd send out the signals first, and if she seems receptive definitely go for it! At least you wouldn't spend the rest of your life wondering "What if"?
    reply
  • kimmpossiable 2007/05/04 01:21:46
    Tell her!
    kimmpossiable
    TABBY I WOULD TELL HER; I DON'T THINK YOU WOULD BE RISKING THE FRIENDSHIP AT ALL. IF ANYTHING PROBBALLY MAKE YOU CLOSER..JUST MY OPIOION:}
    reply
  • Michael V 2007/04/25 01:47:05
    Tell her!
    Michael V
    Dear Tabby,

    I thought about the hypothetical situation, but unless she knows specifically , her answer might be different.
    It's so easy for us to tell you to tell her. But I understand your very valid concerns. If your friendship is really strong, I would hope that it would survive your honesty even if she doesn't respond the way you had hoped, but you know her better.
    Words by John Whittier are quite memorable
    "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"
    I wish you the best whatever you decide!
    reply
  • Danale 2007/03/07 18:44:57
    Tell her!
    Danale
    You know you can trust a friend and see if it leads to more by talking. 20+Years ago my best friend and I went through this similar situation (he asked me to be his girlfriend) it wasn't right for me but let me tell you he is still my best friend after all these years. We just agree to stay friends and it was because we talked.
    reply
  • River 2007/03/07 01:31:23
    None of the above (leave a comment)
    River
    Is the friend hot?
    reply
  • TeaParty Patriot 2007/02/28 07:45:18
    Wait another few months and see if your crush goes away, if not, then tell her.
    TeaParty Patriot
    Make sure that you really want to jeopardize a valuable friendship in exchange for a possible romance. Proceed with caution and not impatience. However, you risk that neither will last if you don't act true to your heart so don't wait forever!
    reply
  • Jenni 2007/02/27 18:40:46
    Give her a hypothetical situation
    Jenni
    good luck!
    reply
  • Satyr Icon 2007/02/27 17:59:54
    Send signals and see if she picks it up
    Satyr Icon
    Tune in Tokyo!
    reply
  • Tabby 2007/02/27 04:05:58
    Don't tell
    Tabby
    My first intuition is to not tell her. I'm not sure why though.
    reply
  • Jamie Tabby 2007/02/27 16:55:14
    Jamie
    If you don't tell her, it may be 13 years until you find out if it could have ever been....
    reply

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