For all you intelegent adults who know law.... I have a question.... help me?
Dark Angel
2012/06/18 07:48:33
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I have 12 days left to visit my mother before i am sent back to my dad's. I don't want to go back. I've lived with him for 3 years and i hate it more than I hated 11 years at my mother's and that is saying something. When my dad took custody of me he just refused to send me back to my mother's. He had me on Easter and he decided he wanted to keep me and the cops called it a "civil matter" or something like that and said it had to be settled in court.
So, mother set up a custody hearing and my dad won. BUT the court order stated he was to set up a trust fund for me, spend my monthly check on my supplies and clothing and necesities, and he was to take out a 10,000 dollar life insurance policy. He has done none of that. The court order also stated, "When the child is of the age of 14, she may decide where she wants to reside. If it is her wish to return to her mother then her father may not stop her", i remember that specifically because i was counting on that. I'm going to be 15 in a few months so i am old enough to decide according to that.
My father has also hit me several times before and left marks and bruises. However, unfortunately i do not have pictures because my father takes my phone away so i can not call my mother until days later. So, there is no evidence for that other than my little sisters who have witnessed it but thely've only seen a couple times and theyre still young so i don't know how helpful that is.
My mother can not find the court papers so she can not show them to DCBS to show proof of the court order and without evidence, (other than a phone call from my step mom that i put on speaker so my mother and her bf could hear the threats) she cant claim child endangerment and it hold up.
I honestly dont want to go back and i am afraid to. Can my mother keep me without a court order? like my dad did at first??? Idk for sure if courts keep copies of custody cases either... do they?
whats the solution here....
So, mother set up a custody hearing and my dad won. BUT the court order stated he was to set up a trust fund for me, spend my monthly check on my supplies and clothing and necesities, and he was to take out a 10,000 dollar life insurance policy. He has done none of that. The court order also stated, "When the child is of the age of 14, she may decide where she wants to reside. If it is her wish to return to her mother then her father may not stop her", i remember that specifically because i was counting on that. I'm going to be 15 in a few months so i am old enough to decide according to that.
My father has also hit me several times before and left marks and bruises. However, unfortunately i do not have pictures because my father takes my phone away so i can not call my mother until days later. So, there is no evidence for that other than my little sisters who have witnessed it but thely've only seen a couple times and theyre still young so i don't know how helpful that is.
My mother can not find the court papers so she can not show them to DCBS to show proof of the court order and without evidence, (other than a phone call from my step mom that i put on speaker so my mother and her bf could hear the threats) she cant claim child endangerment and it hold up.
I honestly dont want to go back and i am afraid to. Can my mother keep me without a court order? like my dad did at first??? Idk for sure if courts keep copies of custody cases either... do they?
whats the solution here....
Top Opinion
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nothingbutthetruth 2012/06/18 07:56:11hmmm...
+5Your mother can file a new court claim and you can tell the judge your story. You are old enough to make that decision of whom you want to stay with. You just have to speak the truth, the judge will know you are sincere, and will grant you your request. I do hope. Let us know how it go. And I wish you the best and hope that things work out in your favor.
Has your Mom asked him if you can stay longer? A little extra time? Ask. You never know he might even be okay with you moving back with your Mom. You could go with the simple idea that you are at the age when you want/need your Mom. Worth a try?
I'm guessing your Mom hasn't gone to her original lawyer because of a lack of money...
Get down to basics by deciding what your questions are, what information you really want. Make it as short, simple, and complete as possible. Do I need just a Child Custody Modification? Or also a Protection Order? What are the consequences if my daughter refuses to go back until the court date?
Then call and ask EVERYBODY! Department of Child Services, Dept. of Child Support Enforcement, CASA, CHINS(Child in Need of Services) ETC, ETC, ETC!!!! http://www.kidsvoicein.org/pr...
Or your state may have a type of court office that could give you help or advice, a "Peace officer" or a "magistrate" Like http://www.tippecanoe.in.gov/...
You can also successfully find the correct papers to file on google if you are persistent. Type in combinations and variations of: modif...
Has your Mom asked him if you can stay longer? A little extra time? Ask. You never know he might even be okay with you moving back with your Mom. You could go with the simple idea that you are at the age when you want/need your Mom. Worth a try?
I'm guessing your Mom hasn't gone to her original lawyer because of a lack of money...
Get down to basics by deciding what your questions are, what information you really want. Make it as short, simple, and complete as possible. Do I need just a Child Custody Modification? Or also a Protection Order? What are the consequences if my daughter refuses to go back until the court date?
Then call and ask EVERYBODY! Department of Child Services, Dept. of Child Support Enforcement, CASA, CHINS(Child in Need of Services) ETC, ETC, ETC!!!! http://www.kidsvoicein.org/pr...
Or your state may have a type of court office that could give you help or advice, a "Peace officer" or a "magistrate" Like http://www.tippecanoe.in.gov/...
You can also successfully find the correct papers to file on google if you are persistent. Type in combinations and variations of: modify, modification,child custody, court forms, legal forms, "show cause", free, legal library, also try " .gov" to see if you get lucky, also use your state name (or official abbreviation). If you put quotes around your search terms all the words have to be in the results, ex: "Child custody modification Indiana how to file"
Look around. Some states have free sites for education and basic forms, for ex:
http://www.in.gov/judiciary/s...
http://www.indianajustice.org...
Your state may even have a simple form called a "Show Cause" that has your Dad to explain to the court why he has not done something in the agreement. Try the office of the Clerk of Court, the form may be sitting out or ask for one. The Clerk of Court is probably where your Mom can get a copy of the original papers. Bring ID! Get two copies, get them certified!
Your Mom may be able to file a Modification of child custody herself if she can do some research and some typing. I had to file my own separation/divorce papers, and preliminary custody because I was so poor. It took a whole lot of time in the Free Law Library (in the courthouse), on google, and typing. Later I found help with the Department of Child Support Enforcement.
For an example, here's my google findings on "Interference With Child Custody". The papers you need to file will be different, the steps may not all apply to you, skip those, the basic offices and filings are an intelligent example...
1
Visit the court that handled the child custody case filing and hearings. Obtain a copy of the certified child custody order from the clerk of court. The certified copy of the child custody order will be stamped by the clerk with the seal of the court authenticating that the order is true and correct. There is a fee for obtaining a certified child custody order which varies from state to state.
As an example
2
Contact the attorney who represented you throughout the case. Advise the attorney of the interference of the other parent. (*I, blueskyseas think you can skip this next step)... If the attorney considers the interference to be moderate (returning a child after established visitation hours or making invalid excuses for not allowing visitation), the attorney may contact the parent committing the violation to remind him of the custody order. The attorney usually will mail a certified letter to the erring parent or the parent's legal representative.
3
File a report with the local police department. Do this if contacting the parent who is violating the order has not yielded results, or the interference escalates. Filing a police report will help to record the occurrences. Bring the certified copy of the child custody order to the police department since officers will need it to verify that the child custody order exists and is being violated.
4
Visit the clerk of court to file a motion to have the existing child custody order enforced. The clerk may have a form available to help draft the motion. The motion should have the petitioner's contact information, the respondent's contact information and the details of the interference occurrences, copies of the child custody order and the reports filed with the local police department. An affidavit swearing to the accuracy of the motion may be required that can be obtained, and notarized, at the court house. Once the motion is filed, a copy must be mailed to the respondent by registered mail.
5
Attend a hearing at the local court. A hearing date will be scheduled after the motion has been filed. You should mail a copy of the hearing notice to the respondent by registered mail. Bring copies of the post office receipts to the hearing to prove that you properly notified the respondent. During the hearing, the judge will decide whether the respondent interfered with the custodial agreement and will give a ruling on the case.
Read more: How to File for Interference With Child Custody | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_51179...
custody.html#ixzz1yDeWms2W
who, what, when, why, where and how
see if you can get another phone from someone
the proof will be in the pudding re abuse...images
If she asks the lawyer whether they can refuse to return you to your dad, the lawyer must recommend she follows the court order. So why ask that question since you know the answer. A much better question is, "What is the consequence if I do not return my daughter to her father?"
It is likely that the consequence will be the same which means the police will not enforce the order and your father will need to go to court to regain custody. If your father goes to court, the Judge is likely to seek you opinion and provide you with the opportunity to share with the judge what you have just shared with us. It is also likely the judge will provide you this opportunity in a way that neither parent can discover what you have said or influence you testimony. The judge is obligated to evaluate and make a decisions based on what is best for the child. Given your age, your wishes will weigh heavily in the decision.
1) Obtain a copy of the court order from the Court (easy);
2) Seek assistance from an attorney. If she can't afford one, contact her nearest "Legal
Services" office. These offices are funded and will provide "pro bono" (no fees) representation in some cases;
3) Whether with/without an attorney: a) File a "Show Cause" motion with the Court; 2) Schedule a court hearing; c) Arrange to have your father served with a copy of the motion and hearing notice; d) File "Proof of Service" with the Court; and e) Show up at the hearing.
Note: In the motion, include a request that the Court appoint a "Guardian ad Litem" - an attorney (no cost) whose only duty is to represent you and your best interests in the case.
Hope this helps. Feel free to holler if you have any questions.
There should be some sort of advocacy group to help you. Have your Mom call the District Attorney's office to make an appointment. They should also have the numbers for the advocacy groups in your area.
I hope everything turn out okay for you! Just don't give up.
If you are able, you can go to the cops when you have the bruises and let them know that he abuses you. You should also let the school know that he abuses you
If all is as you say with your father not starting the trust fund, etc, the court with have him show proof that he had complied, and when he cannot, they will most likely find against him based on that.
You will have to be sure that the reasons your father won custody of you to begin with are no longer the case.. I'm not asking you to divulge it here, or give details, but there must have been a basis on which the judge granted your father custody of you over your mother. If everything on your mother's behalf is good and as it should be (a proper environment for you in which to live permanently), and the court supports the previous decision regarding the ruling that, at age 14, you can decide where you choose to live without interference from your father, there may or may not be any reason to show proof or even bring up the "alleged" abuse...
Good luck with whatever you decide... if all is as you say (and I'm not doubting you as I don't know you, your parents or your situation), you should be okay... Just know and realize that the judicial system is far from perfect and it does make its errors... I can't promise it will go completely as you'd like...
Good luck
One question: Why did you wait so long? Why didn't you make the decision to move back with your mother earlier in your visit?
But, have her help you get a date and then it will look bad on your father if you're not allowed to keep the court date...
An option: Call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your area and explain it to them and ask them for their guidance on how to proceed. You might want to mention the "alleged" abuse to them, but not make it your basis for why you want to move back with your mother... give them all of the other reasons as you've explained here...
I do caution you to not "use" the courts or the system to get what you want... I'm not saying you are, but have seen it too many times where a teen says it is "this way" (as you described to us), but it really isn't, just to get their way... again, not doubting you... but, please make sure it is a valid complaint and every aspect, every argument you bring to the system or the courts is valid and true and accurate... and again, I don't personally know you, your parents or your situation, but the "grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence" as they say...
My point is that she has avenues, ways in which she can accomplish what she needs... I was simply cautioning her, in fairness, to make sure her claims and all are legitimate, because the results, the fallout if they are not legit can be even more devastating to her, and those involved...
But, if her claims and actions are fully legit, by all means, take action and good luck!
I was simply showing both sides of the spectrum...
Your comment was fair and reasonable warning .