Don't Mess Up in Russia: Man Responsible for Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead in Sochi

Transquesta 2014/02/09 17:41:31
Yep. The man fell on a knife. . .57 times. It happens, I suppose.

Quick show of hands. How many people did NOT expect this to happen?

Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi
Feb 08, 2014

The man responsible for operating the Olympic Rings during last night’s Winter Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Russia was found dead today.

According to local reports the body of T. Borris Avdeyev was found his hotel room early this morning with multiple stab wounds.

Avdeyev was a technical specialist responsible for the Olympic Ring spectacle, which embarrassingly malfunctioned last night. Five animatronic snowflakes were supposed to transform into Olympic Rings. The first four functioned properly but the fifth snowflake failed to change shape.

Although his body was badly mangled and the wounds were consistent with a struggle, so far officials say they don't suspect foul play.

“Sure there were stab wounds and bruises all over the body,” admits the lead investigator on the case, “But who knows what caused them. Maybe he tripped and fell on a set of knives. Right now we’re ruling this an accidental death.

“It’s terrible when accidents like this happen. But then again, maybe Mr. Avdeyev should have thought twice before he screwed up the Olympics. Accidents tend to happen to people who betray Russia.”

Despite the government’s story, fellow hotel guests reported hearing a struggle in Avdeyev’s room around 3am local time.

“There was a very loud noise last night,” Canadian bobsled member Guy Lafleur, who was staying two hotel rooms down, “I called the front desk but the phone didn't work so I went to the room where the sound was coming from and saw three big men leave the room.

I asked if there was a problem and they told me to go back to my room. Then this morning I find out the guy inside was dead. Very scary I told the police what I saw but they told me to forget what I saw. They were very intimidating.”

It was reported that Vladimir Putin was visibly upset with the botched ending of the ceremony and he may have been out for blood. He stormed out of the stadium and took off in a helicopter before the media could ask him any questions.

The embarrassment of his nation could have been too much for him to handle.

“Putin loves Russia to death,” said Alexander Zhukov, the Russian Olympic Committee President. “He also loves accountability.”

While there has not been accountability from the contractors responsible for building the Olympic Village, the Ceremony was a world wide event for everyone to see. Putin may hold that to a higher level.

“If he feels the Ceremony reflects him, who knows what he’ll do to seek justice,” said Zhukov before part of a hotel ceiling crashed to the floor beside him. “All I know is Borris Avdeyev failed Russia and got what he deserved.” More of the hotel began to crumble and the interview had to be cut short.

Read More: http://dailycurrant.com/2014/02/08/man-responsible...

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  • g_byst 2014/02/14 22:09:52
    Didn't seem reasonable at first, then I saw it came from the Daily Currant and I KNEW it must be at least as reliable a story as the Onion.
  • MadProphet 2014/02/10 17:58:41
    Hehehehehe... funnily enough, when my sweetheart and I watched the opening ceremony and the ring failed to open, I joked, "the person responsible will be executed"

    Apparently, brilliantly humorous minds think alike :-D
  • Transqu... MadProphet 2014/02/10 18:20:16 (edited)
    I haven't spoken to ANYONE who watched the opening ceremony (which was quite beautiful in every other respect while being nowhere near as good as China's) who didn't think the same thing. Apparently, people have certain expectations about a government run by mafiosi.
  • MadProphet Transqu... 2014/02/10 18:24:00
    Then why don't they say the same things about the U.S. government?
  • Transqu... MadProphet 2014/02/10 18:38:56
    Damned good question! Here lately, though, the similarities are becoming downright spooky.
  • MadProphet Transqu... 2014/02/10 18:48:54
    Critics of great comrade, dear leader, great President Obama will also start accidently falling on knives 57 times too...

    Besides, in America - you get knife set but in Russia, knife set get YOU!
  • Donald Eric Kesler 2014/02/10 15:24:01
    Donald Eric Kesler
  • Transqu... Donald ... 2014/02/10 17:54:28
    SOME appreciated it as it was intended. SOME didn't.

    Either way it's not my fault. :-) I posted a disclaimer. http://www.sodahead.com/livin...
  • Fire fighter 6991 2014/02/10 08:19:46 (edited)
    Fire fighter 6991
    Ok... i did some research... this appears to be a hoax...
  • Transqu... Fire fi... 2014/02/10 08:37:51
  • MissLeviathan 2014/02/10 07:32:12
    More satire...
  • Transqu... MissLev... 2014/02/10 08:37:59
  • MissLev... Transqu... 2014/02/10 08:51:05
    Haha, well to be honest, it's pretty believable. Everyone I was with immediately thought the same thing when we watched the opening ceremony lol ;)
  • patricia.fraide 2014/02/10 06:02:06
    Do not make a mistake in Russia! Fell on some knives, right. And do not embarrass Putin!
  • roboto-pwcm-jla 2014/02/10 03:39:01
    Yeah...well how'd you like to be the "ice dancing" judge, knowing Vlad is in the audience.
  • whipnet 2014/02/10 03:27:44
    In Soviet Russia, knives find your chest.

  • wtw 2014/02/10 02:15:45
    No foul play I am sure like the friend of the boston bomber that was questioned by many FBI agents and he didn't have a gun or knife but somehow was shot many times by the FBI for attacking them--sure it is safe to be questioned by the FBI!
  • Lighthouse_Keeper 2014/02/10 01:52:29
    Holy Crap
  • Transqu... Lightho... 2014/02/10 08:38:31
  • NightRyder 2014/02/10 01:10:32
    It takes a sick mind to come up with something like this, OH!! Wait!!! SNL is always coming up with something like this.

    Hmmmmm……. As I said; it takes a sick mind to come up with something like this.
  • joe keeney 2014/02/09 23:40:51
    joe keeney
    You know at that moment a little thing called pride going to pop in to your head.
  • kobidobidog 2014/02/09 22:46:44
    A person does not accidentally stab himself more times than the number of cards in deck of cards.
  • Merry☆ 2014/02/09 22:45:24
  • Transqu... Merry☆ 2014/02/10 08:29:30 (edited)
  • T A 2014/02/09 22:43:00 (edited)
    T A
    This sounds like the Onion.
  • Transqu... T A 2014/02/10 08:30:21
    The Daily Currant is the same kind of site as the Onion. :-)
  • brotherton cat 2014/02/09 22:38:51
    brotherton cat
    Sorry for the lost.
  • Cameryn (◠‿◠✿) 2014/02/09 22:32:22
    Cameryn (◠‿◠✿)
    I thought that story was really funny
  • PILLHEAD 2014/02/09 22:20:43 (edited)
  • mark 2014/02/09 21:48:30
    Quick show of hands. How many gullible people actually believed this story?
  • Transqu... mark 2014/02/10 08:31:03
    Seven thus far. :-)
  • nico touched the butt 2014/02/09 21:34:48 (edited)
    nico touched the butt
    daily curran

    In case that's a little difficult to read:

    The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide - now including South Sudan.

    Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence - which presses forward

    Q. Are your news stories real?

    A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world
  • Transqu... nico to... 2014/02/10 08:39:57
  • Bailey C 2014/02/09 21:31:57
    Bailey C
    Daily Current is a satirical "news" website, similar to The Onion. This story is suppose to be humorous, not make people look foolish for mistaking it for real news. However it's doing a good job at showing who needs a course in Internetting!
  • Transqu... Bailey C 2014/02/10 08:32:46 (edited)
    It's not my fault. :-) My disclaimer was the first post/response.

  • Followerofnothing 2014/02/09 21:23:45 (edited)
    Lol nice try. The technicians responsible for that part of the show are Canadians and they didn't go to Russia.
  • baboula 2014/02/09 21:11:12
    The president of that country is a former KGB colonel - dissenters, opponents, or protesters have a tendency to either disappear or die as in "the good old days"
  • Bailey C baboula 2014/02/09 21:34:28
    Bailey C
    Maybe, but this story is satire.
  • Transqu... Bailey C 2014/02/10 08:40:25
  • baboula Bailey C 2014/02/11 13:53:04
    this story yes but it does happen - as band members can attest to

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2014/04/17 15:21:34

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