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Do you tend to dwell on things too much?

Jen**GPAC** 2008/03/27 14:54:07
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Do you stress and over think things until you think you are going to loose your mind? If so.. check out these tips to help..
Distract yourself.

Put on music and dance, scrub the bathtub spotless, whatever engrosses you—for at least 10 minutes. "That's about the minimum time needed to break a cycle of thoughts," says Nolen-Hoeksema, who's been studying rumination for more than 20 years. Or choose something to focus on. "A friend told me that she once started counting the number of times the speaker at her conference said 'like,'" Nolen-Hoeksema recalls. "By the time he finished, she'd stopped ruminating."

Make a date to dwell.

Tell yourself you can obsess all you want from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m., but until then, you're banned. "By 6 p.m., you'll probably be able to think things through more clearly," says Nolen-Hoeksema.

Take a 3-minute dose of mindfulness.

For one minute, eyes closed, acknowledge all the thoughts going through your mind. For the next minute, just focus on your breathing. Spend the last minute expanding your awareness from your breath to your entire body. "Paying attention in this way gives you the room to see the questions you're asking yourself with less urgency and to reconsider them from a different perspective," says Zindel Segal, PhD, co-author of The Mindful Way Through Depression.

Ask yourself…

"What's the worst that could happen?" and "How would I cope?" Visualizing yourself handling the most extreme outcome should alleviate some anxiety, says Judith Beck, PhD, director of the Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research in Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania. Then consider the likelihood that the worst will actually occur.

Next, imagine the best possible outcome; by this point, you'll be in a more positive frame of mind and better able to assess the situation more realistically.

Call a buddy.

Ask a friend or relative to be your point person when your thoughts start to speed out of control.

Say "Oh, well."

Accept that you're human and make mistakes—and then move on, says Beck. Be compassionate. It's harder than it sounds, so keep practicing.

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/depression/articlepage.as...
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  • Ligeia 2008/04/05 16:01:13
    No
    Ligeia
    I used to, though I've realized most things aren't worth dwelling on. I held a grudge against my dad for many years because he never bothered to speak to me over the span of over a decade. And now, I've decided that there's no point in being angry, it isn't getting me anywhere at all.
  • Waldy1 2008/04/05 15:48:35
    No
    Waldy1
    +1
    Not as long as I take my medication!
  • matt Waldy1 2011/03/22 14:45:05
    matt
    +2
    what medication?
  • Ginjo 2008/04/04 22:42:48
    Yes
    Ginjo
    +1
    Totally. Dammit. It bugs me. For instance, I have to have surgery in May, and I am dwelling on the surgery and the consequences of the surgery. I am totally bummed. this was helpful. Thank you!
  • Leethal 2008/04/04 08:29:53
    No
    Leethal
    +1
    I used to, but I'm not like that anymore
  • Odori 73 Hiphop Worldwide 2008/04/01 21:08:20
  • goldie 2008/04/01 17:48:33
    Yes
    goldie
    +1
    Yes, sometimes, but not nearly as much as when I was younger. It is a definate weakness to dwell.
  • The Hand of John 2008/04/01 12:26:04
    Yes
    The Hand of John
    +1
    It's a pain...I do dwell sometimes on old mishaps happening long ago. It's a product of having a brain that never shuts up.
  • Keith 2008/04/01 07:50:41
    Yes
    Keith
    +1
    Sometimes.
  • S.A. Ward ~ Proud Liberal!! 2008/04/01 07:17:10
  • Juli 2008/04/01 07:04:46
    Yes
    Juli
    +1
    Absolutely. Interesting tips. Thanks.
  • ☺that's all she wrote... 2008/03/31 16:33:25
    Yes
    ☺that's all she wrote...
    +1
    This is a weakness of mine; I will dwell on things even as I vacuum! Need to focus better; sodahead sure helps ; - ))
  • Jen**GP... ☺that's... 2008/03/31 16:40:44
    Jen**GPAC**
    +1
    I think I will to a lot more cleaning when thinking of my woes and sorrows.. that way it's one less thing to worry about.
  • ☺that's... Jen**GP... 2008/03/31 16:44:22
    ☺that's all she wrote...
    +1
    Plus, you get a clean house. I once pruned dozens of bushes along my side yard to work through grief.
  • ~Robin~ 2008/03/30 16:29:40
    Yes
    ~Robin~
    +2
    Yes I do, I let things bother me and build up til they consume me. I am working on that and taking the people who do this to me out of my life. I am much better off now and I still have to control that anxiety feeling that well up inside me when I think of things. If I can't control it I do not let myself worry about it...if I notice I am worrying about things I can't control I make an effort to stop the madness...(as I put it). If it's a person, I keep in mind if I let them anger me I let them control me...I do not want anyone able to control me...I like to have control of myself. I've been working on this for a year and it works good. I feel better and am not stressed out over small stuff and I do not let other people control my emotions.
  • Jen**GP... ~Robin~ 2008/03/31 16:41:37
    Jen**GPAC**
    +1
    You are an inspiration to all of us worry warts out there..
  • ~Robin~ Jen**GP... 2008/03/31 16:55:16
    ~Robin~
    +1
    Thanks Jen, it's hardwork but it's worth it in the end to have some peace...lol.
  • sheila 2008/03/29 06:23:43
    Undecided
    sheila
    +2
    I tend to dwell for a very short time and then move on.
  • loky 2008/03/29 06:10:16
    Yes
    loky
    +1
    I forgive really easily but I dont forget. Would you forget being bitten by a snake?
  • Jen**GP... loky 2008/03/31 16:41:54
    Jen**GPAC**
    +1
    good point.
  • Stormy 2008/03/29 02:18:29 (edited)
    Yes
    Stormy
    +2
    Oh My Dog,ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I worry about Mom and school and what my job's gonna be. It's true!
  • Jen**GP... Stormy 2008/03/31 16:42:34
    Jen**GPAC**
    +1
    It's tough when you are young.. just keeps your goals in front of you and work hard for what you want.
  • Kaz 2008/03/29 00:34:30 (edited)
    Yes
    Kaz
    +1
    ha ha. What a coincidence. My whole week has been miserable because of it. I had to go to the counselor's office twice and I wouldn't stop crying every day this week. XD. I'm just glad it's over and I learned something new in addition.
  • Jen**GP... Kaz 2008/03/31 16:43:39
    Jen**GPAC**
    +1
    Aww. I'm sorry things were so tough on you.. I had days like that at school when I was younger.. it's tough.. yet I can tell you will make it.. keep your chin up..
  • Kaz Jen**GP... 2008/04/01 02:22:50
    Kaz
    Thank you. *hugs* :D
  • SearchlightMasquerade 2008/03/28 23:46:59
    Yes
    SearchlightMasquerade
    +1
    It's a sick, sick disease... O_o
    Thanks for the tips! :D
  • pantherhlc 2008/03/28 15:57:56 (edited)
    Yes
    pantherhlc
    +1
    i tend to obsess on being treated horribly by a person especially when the person never changes. (mother-in-law)

    i used to dwell too much about other things but i couldn't handle the effects of the stress so i had to change how i handle myself
  • Jen**GP... pantherhlc 2008/03/31 16:45:19
    Jen**GPAC**
    +1
    Oh yeeeees.. when you get married you marry the whooole family.. I had and still have troubles in the mother in law dept.. it's hard for moms to let go of their babies.. maybe esp the boys.. yet.. just try and be patient.. eventually she will accept you.. and if she doesn't.. then don't let her ruin your day.
  • pantherhlc Jen**GP... 2008/03/31 17:33:53
    pantherhlc
    +1
    i've been married for 17 years and all that time, my mother-in -law has made it very clear that i am NOT family.

    i'm sure she would like me if i were a junkie or a drunk, but i'm not.

    bottom line is, i'm not like her family (except for my husband) so i'm not accepted.

    weird but true.
  • Jen**GP... pantherhlc 2008/03/31 17:37:50
    Jen**GPAC**
    +1
    it;s not wierd at all.. sounds like she has some personal problems.. and she is trying to put the blame on someone else.. I woudl let her be what she is.. and live my own life.
  • The Dude 2008/03/28 14:15:56 (edited)
    Yes
    The Dude
    +1
    I don't get angry often, but when I do I'm a SOB. And I will get even!
  • t 2008/03/28 13:55:38
  • Brew City Junior 2008/03/28 11:11:05
    No
    Brew City Junior
    +2
    very good, sound advice. I don't so much dwell as occasionally get hit with the Nostalgia blast...a lot of memory is based on smell, which is unfortunate living in Milwaukee..Tanneries and Breweries take on whole new meanings for me...lol
  • Daisy 2008/03/28 08:01:14
    No
    Daisy
    +2
    Actually, no, I move along to other things rather quickly. I don't forget what's happened, I just don't have time to dwell on it for long.
  • ChickenNoodleSoup 2008/03/28 04:18:45
    No
    ChickenNoodleSoup
    +1
    Try to live to the fullest.....I do stress.......but not over-stress......I believe, if we try hard, and the problem still not solve yet....try harder.....to the hardest. Cause as long as we live, problems always be our friends.
  • Valkyries "In God We Trust" 2008/03/28 04:02:08
    Yes
    Valkyries "In God We Trust"
    +3
    Old habit. Hard to break.
  • TwilightPrincess~Miharu 2008/03/28 03:35:31
    Yes
    TwilightPrincess~Miharu
    +1
    I've never seen this. Thanks for the info. =D
  • Kimmi 2008/03/28 01:56:54
    Yes
    Kimmi
    +2
    some times my bro says i do but only the good things lol
  • kjr 2008/03/28 01:26:07
    No
    kjr
    +4
    Not at all. I tend to go with the flow.
  • Dave Sawyer ♥ Child of God ♥ 2008/03/28 01:24:28
    No
    Dave Sawyer ♥ Child of God ♥
    +2
    I was gonna say Yes, but after reading your thesis, I decided I'm fine. I dwell on lots of things all the time, but it doesn't bother me. I'm amazed at the things from my past that I can still remember (I'm almost 60). I'm working, mostly in my head, on writing a novel and trying to come up with a second one. I like to sing karaoke for a break, and when the snow stops here in western Oregon, I will go outside in my wheelchair and start getting more exercise and sunshine.

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