Do You Hold Grudges?

In fact, I think I forgive too easily.

sometimes and i can hold one for years

They are "too heavy" to carry

Sure do, I caught my cousin stealing from me. I was about thirteen and my cousin Tim from PA and his whole family came to stay for two weeks in July. Tim was supposed to stay for two weeks. It was getting close to the forth of July and I showed Tim my Firecracker, M80s, and cheery bombs, that my dad had bought for me. I came home
on Saturday from the YMCA and Tim was gone. I asked my Grandmother where Tim was and she said he got home sick and wasn't going to stay the two weeks. I smelled a rat and I went upstairs and check my stash of fireworks and more than half were gone!
Tim hadn't taken his suitcase for some reason, and we were to take it out to my Uncles, when we went for a family dinner. So I checked the suitcase and there they were. Well I took them and put them back and hid them in the attic.

We went for our family dinner that evening at my Uncles and As soon as I hit the door I asked where Tim was, he was coming up the stairs and I waited till he got to the top of the stairs and I cold cocked that little thief, Tim was the same age as me, He went falling right back down those stairs. MY cousin George got all bent out of shape and said that I should done that and was going to spank me. Well that's enough for know, but yea Tim and I aren't friends today and never will be.

I don't believe in Forgive & Forget for the most part. I do believe in forgiveness, however. I will forgive and forget, as in put it out of my mind, any transgression against me if I can see that the person genuinely is sorry for having hurt me and/or lied to me and if I see effort on their part to make it up to me. However, like others have said, I will hold a grudge if I am continually taken advantage of as I am not going to stand for being repeatedly duped. I believe everyone deserves a second (or even third) chance, especially to learn from a mistake, but when it comes to fourth or fifth chances I begin to doubt the veracity of the person and will still keep recalling their transgressions to mind.

I am the worst when it comes to holding a grudge. You piss me off and I cut all ties. Eventually you have to stand up for yourself and say enough...

Nope, that is to much energy to burn on something. I would rather redirect that energy to something awesome!

Oh I can hold a grudge.... But I hare to

Not really but my wife on the other hand never forgets anything anyone ever said or did that she didn't like. Me unless it's really bad I'd rather forget about it and I usually do. In other words you're better off pissing me off than my wife. lol

oooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh big time lol

I used to like nobodies business, but I find I don't have the energy anymore, ad don't see much point to it. There are other things I'll spend my time thinking about, if someone wrongs me I'll remember what they did, dislike the person, and only worry on it when relevant. The rest of the time I'm find forgetting they exist.

and evntually make good on them

I'd love to think and say I do but if I'm honest I becoming a bit of a cow.

Not automatically, but I have on occasions to a well deserving person.

Never!!!! Bring a bucket full of water, Walk on the water and you're forgiven.

Too stressful. If I am upset I discuss it and get it over with.

I do.

But only once!
I don't forgive the next or second time! And i remember what people does to me!

In some things retribution is best served ice cold

Blacks have 50 nations in Africa. Africa has the greatest concentration of resources on the planet. Africa has the most fertile soil on the planet. Blacks are the most populous racial group on the planet. Whites are a global minority and blacks live among us as a minority. After decades of race hustling we even made one president. What more do you want us to do for you? You are just an anti-White con artist projecting Black failure onto Whites. King was a Marxist pawn and fraud.

I try not to. I'm forgiving, but I never forget what causes me or others pain & sorrow

What for? Doesn't hurt the one one is holding a grudge against. Besides, one can get ulcers worrying and fretting about things probably beyond their control.

but they usually fade quickly.

Why?
What did you do?

I like your Grandpa's advice, it makes very good sence, but how do you get rid of a grudge?

We always remember any hurt + wrongdoing that someone has inflicted upon us, i think that is part of self preservation which is inbuilt + this is natural. So we`ll always be careful with such people. I think to hold a grudge against someone a feeling of anger + wanting to strike back is involved. We can torture ourselves when we think + feel like this. Just move on + extricate yourself from such people who`ve hurt you if this is possible + don`t brood about things it`s not worth disturbing your mind.

Lizzy,

Wise as ever, thank you x

You`re Welcome D`eath. It`s very hard to do at times as we can be quite Raw when we suffer such hurt but time does take away it`s Sting. We have to protect ourselves from such people so retreating is something i do. X

Thank you Sundance for taking the time to explain, I will try to follow this advice, which I know is sound.

Intellectually I have always known that grudges are unhelpful it's just that try as I have the hurt remains and the desire for justice still seems to be required.

I once forgave my brother for his cruelty to our Mother, for a while I felt better for it, only to be treated to an even greater act of cruelty from him.

I will try harder to forgive.

It'll just eat the inside of you...

But it depends on the situation.

I know it's bad, but I feel some people are just not worth my time if they wronged me in any way.

I'm an Aries we don't hold grudges. We just find new things to get angry about. lol

depends on who and what they did and how long the event went on

I do not hold grudges, but there are some people I will avoid having contact with because I know they are incapable of constuctive human relationships and that they will only bring pain to me and/or to my family if I have anything to do with them.