yes--i am a very emotional i am use to hiding my emotions from my own children because the world dictates that i should. i still feel this and you still dictate, but i am old and almost dead. i just want to shame you before i am dead, to expose the ruin you and the world have done to me..yes in hell, you do not see me. yes in heaven you do not see me. but by god you will hear me.
My best mate for four years has never once seen me cry. I haven't cried in view of anyone for years, and that means I don't do so very often either. Its preferable. The more people see your feelings the more they hurt you. Sounds like BS but it's unfortunatly true...anytime I've been manipulated and screwed over has when I haven't kept the barrier up. Sad truth.
not my feelings