Do you believe in love at first sight?
- 2009/11/24 16:05:21
- Read all 18 opinions
A survey by Ayala Malach-Pines, PhD, of Ben-Gurion University in Israel, found that only 11 percent of the 493 respondents fell in love with their current partners at first sight. Psychologists say that more often people tend to grow on us over time. They believe the more time you spend with someone, the more you think they are attractive and share similar traits with you.
“It can take years sometimes for two people to fully appreciate each other,” Helen Fisher, PhD.
What does tend to happen at first glance is our perceptions of potential partners and our decision of whether or not we would be intimate with them (because you can find someone hot and still not want to sleep with them). Dr. Fisher writes:
Indeed, it takes less than one second to decide whether you find someone physically attractive. Too short, too tall, too old, too young, too scruffy, or too scrubbed—he's out. If, however, he fits your general concept of Adonis, your mind races toward the next checkpoint: voice. Once again, you respond in seconds. Women typically regard rapid talkers as more educated and men with full, deep voices as better-looking than they are. Next: his words. We like people who use the same kinds of words we use. We are also drawn to those who have a similar degree of intelligence, share our religious and social values, and come from the same economic background—and we quickly determine these attributes from a man's words (not to mention how he dresses and wears his hair, whether he's carrying a briefcase or a soccer ball, and if he's sporting a gold watch or a tattoo).
So the “love” might really be based on lust of finding that person attractive.
But another study—on fruit flies, of all things—found that we might actually be genetically programmed to fall in love instantly with our best-matched partners. Scientists discovered that females are “biologically primed” to detect more genetically compatible males. This may mean that females can size up a potential mate during their first meeting to see if they could produce good offspring.
So have you fallen in love at first site? And if you haven’t, do you think it’s possible?
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