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Do Step Parents Treat Their Biological Children Better than Their Step Children?

Waldgeist 2010/05/10 19:01:28
Yes, Step Parents Favor Their Own Children.
No, They Usually Treat Their Own Chidren And Their Step Children Equally And Fairly.
I Dont Know
My Experience Has Been...
None of the above
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My older brother is a few months into his second marriage. He has two boys Age 12 and 10. She has a boy and a girl ages 11 and 8. His wife likes to boss his kids around while her kids are sitting on their butts watching TV. His wife has given his kids twice the amount of chores that her kids have. His wife allows her kids to leave their "stuff" all over the house. If my brother's kids leave out one thing they will get yelled at by her. My brother can not boss her kids around because they will pout
and this makes his wife very hostile.....i don't think this is normal, is it? kids leave yelled brother boss kids pout wife hostile normal
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  • Andrea jones 2011/12/12 00:56:40 (edited)
    My Experience Has Been...
    Andrea jones
    very new to the 'blended family' but already it is anything but that. My husband has one daughter.(aged 11) she has spent each weekend alone with him for years and remains to come each weekend. Now i am here with my two sons (aged 7 and 9). I have a very limited role in his daughters life with regards discipline and major things but we try to function as a family considering her and everyone elses needs equally so i do things with her which i know she enjoys. My husband has the father figure role in my sons lives. He treats his daughter as the only child as he has always done. Don't get me wrong he is not bad to the boys.. infact he does alot of things to enrich their lives. My two boys are happy here though they are aware they are treated 'second best'. They seem ok with it but i cannot deal with it. I can see the difference in the way he treats his daughter. Am i wrong to object to this with him even if the boys are happy with the situation?
  • jerrbear 2010/05/11 04:59:43
    My Experience Has Been...
    jerrbear
    +1
    I was fortunate to have a step dad who was a lot nicer to me than my real dad was, And my real dad's wife,me and her have never been close, But we tolerate each other
  • Waldgeist jerrbear 2010/05/11 10:58:18
    Waldgeist
    "tolerate", sometimes that's all we can do to make a temporary situation bearable. Thanks for your answer.
  • Lestat 2010/05/10 23:31:11
    Yes, Step Parents Favor Their Own Children.
    Lestat
    +1
    It is only human nature to favor your seed when dealing with a familiar situation.
    the television Brady Bunch family will never happen in the real world. perhaps if some one were to point it out she would realize what she is doing and make an attempt to correct it.
  • Waldgeist Lestat 2010/05/10 23:57:35
    Waldgeist
    I would think it would be instinct to favor your own. However, Parents knowing that favoritism within the family causes resentment and destabilizes the family, should even it out to the best of their ability.
  • Erica 2010/05/10 20:08:29
    Yes, Step Parents Favor Their Own Children.
    Erica
    +1
    They are their children, I think it happens even if the don't mean it..
  • Waldgeist Erica 2010/05/11 00:07:04
    Waldgeist
    It sounds like it's instinctive behavior. But to what degree is it acceptable?
  • Erica Waldgeist 2010/05/11 01:00:13
    Erica
    +1
    I have always been treated fairly if not better by my step-mom! But I was only visiting..
  • Waldgeist ~The Ti... 2010/05/10 23:58:36
    Waldgeist
    Brilliant.
  • EmoKidBecauseYouThinkIAm 2010/05/10 19:30:18
    None of the above
    EmoKidBecauseYouThinkIAm
    I think it depends on the person and the children.
  • The Gov-Here to help BN362 2010/05/10 19:22:24
    My Experience Has Been...
    The Gov-Here to help BN362
    +1
    It is normal. Is it right? No. She may not even be aware of this dynamic. If she was I would hope she would fix the problem.
  • Waldgeist The Gov... 2010/05/11 00:02:12
    Waldgeist
    +1
    I am getting the feeling that favoritism within combined families is a common problem. But I also believe that it can go too far and become a control issue. She is a smart enough women to know what she is doing. I really believe this one can't help herself.
  • The Gov... Waldgeist 2010/05/11 16:27:27
    The Gov-Here to help BN362
    +1
    That is always a possiblility. Makes me sad.
  • celticdragonfly 2010/05/10 19:08:26
    My Experience Has Been...
    celticdragonfly
    +1
    I never did...they all had to behave and help out...and I loved them all the same too :^)
  • Waldgeist celticd... 2010/05/11 00:09:02
    Waldgeist
    +1
    There definitely needs to be more step parents like you celtic!
  • celticd... Waldgeist 2010/05/11 13:58:26 (edited)
    celticdragonfly
    +1
    thanks :^)

    I felt that they had it hard enough with the divorce...I didn't want to add more stress. I must have done something right because they are all grown up now and their father and I have since divorced and they still call me "Mom".
  • Waldgeist celticd... 2010/05/11 19:11:10
    Waldgeist
    +1
    They still call you "Mom" because because you were good to them. That's awesome.
  • MILLERTIME 2010/05/10 19:02:44
    Yes, Step Parents Favor Their Own Children.
    MILLERTIME
    +1
    YEAH SAME WITH ME, I'VE JUST COME TO ACCEPT IT (AND OCCAISIONALLY SABOTAGE HER MEALS AND DRINKS)
  • Waldgeist MILLERTIME 2010/05/11 00:17:53
    Waldgeist
    I have a friend who told me that his step mom was a horror show. One time he told me that he had accidentally spilled some water on a kitchen counter top, but for some reason he didn't realize he had tipped over this small cup. His stepmother came across the spilled water and went ballistic. I guess she was screaming and calling him an A**hole so loud that a neighbor came over to see if was the matter were OK. That, I believe, is unstable behavior!

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