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Do adopted children have the right to know who their biological parents are?

ANGEL 2012/05/14 01:05:50
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Whether or not adopted children should know their birth parents is an
emotionally charged question. In recent years, the stigma previously
attached to adoption has all but vanished. Open adoptions, in which
adoptees continue to enjoy some level of contact with their birth
parents, are becoming more common each year.


The case against closed adoptions:

T
he most common reasons for wanting a closed adoption (no contact with birth parents,
and often no information about birth parents) are based are listed as:

1. Secrecy is necessary to protect the parties involved
2. Closed adoption helps birth parents to heal and move on with their lives
3. Knowing birth relatives can lead an adopted child to have divided loyalties and identity confusion
4. Openness will create competition between the adoptive and birth families and interfere with bonding in the adoptive family
5. Adoptees who are well-adjusted and happy in their adoptive families will have no
need or desire to learn about their birth families.


The most obvious reason for adopted children to know their birth parents is to provide the adopted child with a family medical history.
In addition to the practical reasons an adopted child should know his
birth parents, there are a plethora of emotional reasons as well.
An adopted child may experience a sense of disconnection if she doesn't know where she was born. Often, the circumstances leading to a child being adopted are unpleasant, and
adoptive parents may naturally want to shield the child from the
details. However, in the absence of facts, the adopted child may imagine
a scenario far worse than the truth. The truth, unpleasant though it
may be, is at least the truth and can be dealt with in time with
maturity.




Do adopted children have the right to know who their biological parents are?



NOTE: There are too many SH polls that divide people due to their religious and sexual preference. I just want to change the tide and focus on polls that bring people of diverse backgrounds together to the table, commenting on topics that actually bring them together. So if you are involved in Scientology, Christianity, Judaism, Jehovah's witness, an Atheist, Agnostic, homosexual, bisexual, etc. please feel free to comment. You might find that you have more in common than you previously thought.
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Top Opinion

  • Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC 2012/05/14 01:21:09
    Yes
    Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC
    +8
    Well since my wife was kidnapped from her biological Cherokee family by a government bureaucrat during the 1950s government stupid assimilation of Native Americans program and given to a white family, then she saw her biological briefly and they said they never gave her up that she got sick as a baby and when they took her to the hospital for care they said to leave her over night. When they came back in the morning she was taken, I think that a one size fits all application of children not meeting their biological parents is not very wise. Now she has to fight to keep her identity as a Native woman because it was stolen from her.

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Opinions

  • littlebuffalo55TBA 2012/11/12 02:59:30
    It depends
    littlebuffalo55TBA
    +1
    This is a great question! I believe each situation has it's own set of circumstances and as such hopefully an enlightened judge is given the honest facts of the situation and then rules in the best interests of all involved. So I do not feel it is the absolute right an adopted person has.
  • stevegtexas@aol.com 2012/05/17 16:12:39 (edited)
  • Vision of Verve 2012/05/17 01:14:54
  • Swan Eshdeh 2012/05/16 18:01:41
    Yes
    Swan Eshdeh
    of course
  • **StarzAbove** 2012/05/16 02:26:30
    It depends
    **StarzAbove**
    I'm not too sure about that. The biological parent should have a say in it as well.
  • Just me ♥ 2012/05/15 07:51:35
    It depends
    Just me ♥
    +1
    If the birth parents don't want to be identified, I think they should have that right as long as they fully disclose their family's health history. My mom is adopted and I have a lot of weird health problems that took a long time to get diagnosed and cost mega $$ to do so, If we were privy to her birth family's health info, I could have perhaps been diagnosed earlier and treated earlier and save lots of money in the process.
  • dominic garcia 2012/05/15 03:13:36
    Yes
    dominic garcia
    +1
    Usually the biological parents are bad people. It is still a good idea to let a child meet his real parents only if they ask to. When these kids get older sometimes they will end up searching for the parents anyway. I had a friend who looked for his parents when he turned eighteen. He found out his parents lived in a city three and a half hour away of where he was raised. He was very disappointed to find out his mon had died just two years before he met his father. His father was dying from drug abuse and alcoholism. He did say he was very grateful he had met his father, but very sad he never did meet his mother. His father passed away a few weeks after he met him. It took him a while to get over the hurt of seeing and finding out how his parents were living, in a ghetto type environment. He did become extra grateful to his adoptive parents for giving him a very good life. Adoptive parents are very special people who are the ones who should definitely have the last word.
  • sharon.... dominic... 2012/11/11 22:55:58
    sharon.burns.73345
    +4
    I am a biological parent whose child was stolen from me by CPS and them falsifying documents. Just because CPS says the parent is "bad" doesn't mean they really are. Every case is unique so I just wanted to say that I wish people wouldn't judge until they know the real story.
  • dominic... sharon.... 2012/11/12 02:53:19
    dominic garcia
    I do believe that sometimes innocent people like you get hurt. Sorry to hear about your experience!
  • Texas Gal 2012/05/15 00:30:46
    It depends
    Texas Gal
    +1
    I would hope that when someone gives a baby up for adoption that they do it as an open adoption to where there is an avenue for the two to connect down the line if all parties are agreeable.
  • Diana 2012/05/14 18:48:55
    Yes
    Diana
    +1
    They should know for health reasons.
  • Magical 2012/05/14 17:35:35
    It depends
    Magical
    +1
    Every child should have access to the biological family medical history - but this does not mean they they need to meet the biological family to get this data. Having access to that history should be a requirement - with the names being kept confidential.

    I think that the child should be able to go to the facility from which they were adopted and request to meet their biological parents. The facility can contact the biological parent to see if they are open to a meeting.

    I also think that the adoptive family should be in the loop if the child is under 18, to determine whether this is something they can handle or if they feel that the child needs to mature and wait until they are older.
  • schjaz 2012/05/14 16:12:36
    Yes
    schjaz
    Everyone has this right.
  • D.C.Verdone 2012/05/14 14:53:18
    Undecided
    D.C.Verdone
    +1
    Its really hard to say. Who wants to meet their real parents and they are a couple of dead beats who don't even try. Its fine if they have trouble but there are those people who don't and no one wants to find out that they came from people like that.

    I really think that the adoptive parents should meet them first to make sure that kind of situation would not happen.
  • ant0n1us 2012/05/14 14:06:40
    Yes
    ant0n1us
    +2
    Everybody needs truth! This is the problem with so many human inventions like religion--they deny truth and push myths that keep people already in power even MORE in power. Bleccch. The adoptive parents also need to be considered--they spent time and energy and maybe even some love in raising the kid. In the best situations, as the kid gets older (16-18) and able to comprehend split allegiances--there should be contact with the biological parents on a limited basis. Parenting is about unconditional love, sacrifice. Giving up a baby or young child for adoption may not mean no love--just a very difficult time for the biological mother. Perhaps she felt at the time that it would be impossible to provide the needs that a child needs. It's about dual allegiance. Human relationships are complicated. love
  • stevmackey 2012/05/14 11:25:35
    No
    stevmackey
    +2
    If they did not want the child, they should stay out of that child's life.
  • ant0n1us stevmackey 2012/05/14 14:09:55
    ant0n1us
    +1
    You used the past tense "did". People change. Times change. If you can't accept this fact you can't function as a mature adult.
  • Eddie 2012/05/14 11:23:51
    Yes
    Eddie
    +2
    Given the fact that so many conditions and illnesses are genetic in nature, yes I think they do.
  • mewycg 2012/05/14 10:17:47
    Yes
    mewycg
    +2
    I think everyone has the right to know all that goes into the dna they carry. It seems sort of unnatural and maybe even cruel to keep this infromation from them. The people that know who and where they originate from kind of take for granted that there is no question as to their origins.
  • Giantfighter 2012/05/14 09:01:37
    Yes
    Giantfighter
    +1
    If it is their desire
  • Joe61 2012/05/14 07:06:19
    It depends
    Joe61
    +1
    I believe that children do have the right to know who their biological parents are. But I also believe that biological parents who gave their kids over for adoption, have the right to remain anonymous if they wish.
  • Jeff Vader 2012/05/14 06:32:39 (edited)
    Yes
    Jeff Vader
    +1
    I have a friend who was adopted, in my country as well as in England and Wales those who have been adopted have the legal right to see their birth certificates and know more about their origins when they reach the age of 18.

    She was born in England, and she applied for her birth certificate when she reached 18.The original birth certificate gave her mother's name, occupation, date of her birth and address at the time of birth. It also gave similar details about the father. There was also an addendum with some medical history and details about ethnicity in the mothers particular case.

    Through this she was able to trace both her birth parents, sadly both of them wanted no contact whatsoever. She admitted she had felt rejected and devastated at the time but had no regrets that she had finally traced them. This is the only note of caution I would add when tracing you're birth parents, that they might not be as keen on reuniting with you as you are with them. So long as you understand that, I feel a person has the ultimate right to know their birth parent if they so choose.
  • JustMe 2012/05/14 06:27:47
    Yes
    JustMe
    +1
    i also feel that the birth parents should have the option of at least a status report, then when the child know both sides can decide whether or not contact will be made
  • turtledove123 2012/05/14 06:01:41
    Yes
    turtledove123
    +1
    Yes, whenever possible, I think they should know who they are. For medical reasons and for emotional reasons at times. Depending upon the person, they may really want to know where they came from biologically.
  • Dark Angel AKA Hippiegirl 2012/05/14 05:55:30
    Yes
    Dark Angel AKA Hippiegirl
    +1
    Eventually all children want to know where they come from - what their family history is . My daughter was adopted by my 2nd husband. her father was only around 10 months when I caught him cheating he left and never looked back. When she became pregnant she started looking for him she found him online and now he lives with her.
  • pdarkow 2012/05/14 05:54:59
    Yes
    pdarkow
    They not only have the right to know but the need to know. For many of the adopted children they feel a void in their lives by not knowing. However, one should be told with their age and maturity level in mind. That is a very important conversation and careful tact needs to be in place when this issue is addressed. One of the most important aspects is honesty. Sometimes the adopted parents don't even know who the biological parents were. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be told and efforts made to find out who the biological parents were.
  • Couri 2012/05/14 05:27:37
    Yes
    Couri
    +1
    The real question is do the parents have the right to know the children they put up for adoption?
  • pdarkow Couri 2012/05/14 06:31:15
    pdarkow
    +1
    That in my opinion is why the adopted child should know who the biological parent is. This way the adopted child may find the biological parent or parents and talk to them to get a lot of the answers to the questions they have about their biological parents. Then let the child make the decision as to whether or not they want them in their lives. For some it might be helpful or they may be able to fill a void they feel in their lives. There are many reasons children are put up for adoption. One must remember that there are two sides to everything.
  • Couri pdarkow 2012/05/14 06:51:56
    Couri
    +2
    I agree.
  • pdarkow Couri 2012/05/14 07:01:58
    pdarkow
    Thank You
  • .: LiVi :. 2012/05/14 04:45:10
    Yes
    .: LiVi :.
    +1
    But, just like learning about things such as sex and death, it would be better to find out later rather than sooner, when they are mature enough to understand and deal with it.
  • sjalan 2012/05/14 04:33:21
    Yes
    sjalan
    +2
    However, It is not good for them to be allowed to know until they are on their own. Way too much conflict is created before then.
  • Inquisitve Kat 2012/05/14 04:30:00
    Yes
    Inquisitve Kat
    +2
    If the parent had the child and made the choice to go for adoption, then it should be expected that the child will be told, if they ask (at an appropriate age)... one important reason can be health history. The parent is not obligated to meet the child and the parent should be able to note, at birth, if they are willing to meet the child in the future... if they say no, let the child know with the condition that they are not allowed to make contact.
    Life is harsh sometimes... you can't sugar-coat every situation.
  • Randice 2012/05/14 04:22:37
    It depends
    Randice
    +3
    As being a parent of adopted children from birth, this is an emotional question for me, and one that I wrestled with for years. The biological mother had 2 prior children and lost custody of both to her parents... meanwhile, our children still had siblings out there that we knew of and know their whereabouts.
    I decided to change the question... the woman that gave birth to my children are NOT parents... they are incubators (the birth mother). The birth father was a sperm donor. It will be however important to me when the time is right, for them to know that another woman gave them life and that they have siblings.
    I do however believe that the birth mother showed the greatest love of all because she could have chosen to end their life. Yet, she chose to give them life, and give them life with a couple that could give them what she couldn't.
    I believe when the time is right for all adoptive parents to tell their children (if they choose to) that they should leave it up to the child(ren); but know that there is a difference between a biological parent and nurturing parent.
  • Metaldane 2012/05/14 04:21:11
    Yes
    Metaldane
    +2
    If I was adopted and didn't know them that'd be cutting menoff from knowing all my other relatives and I also wouldn't know my heritage which is important to ms then I'd be a very different person and lesser for it.
  • Dagon 2012/05/14 04:20:59
  • Pat 2012/05/14 04:18:57
    Yes
    Pat
    +2
    Yes, I think adopted children should know their birth mother at some point. It would be up to the adoptive parent to decide when the right time is. Maybe the earlier the better. It might be more difficult to break the news to an older child in their teens or older.
  • Peewee ~PWCM~ 2012/05/14 04:11:10
    Yes
    Peewee ~PWCM~
    +2
    AT least some medical background and history of any family illnesses. I don't really care, other than curiosity, who my bio parents were but when I go to the Dr. I have to leave everything blank...That's not good, especially as I age and start worrying.
  • Recruit 2012/05/14 03:58:32
    Yes
    Recruit
    +2
    No reason to comment any further
  • CCRNRT 2012/05/14 03:55:52
    Yes
    CCRNRT
    +2
    Short answer... YES

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