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Dishonest Abe

Prophet of Doom 2011/10/29 18:50:23

"Abraham was tested by circumcision, shaving his pubic hair, washing the fore-part and rear, using a toothstick, and plucking his armpits."

Nothing is more essential to Islam’s credibility than Muhammad’s version of Abraham. Islam must prove that he was a Muslim, that his God was Allah, and that he worshiped in Mecca. Recognizing this, Muhammad tried desperately to make the case.

We pick up the trail in Tabari's History with something that sounds like Hitler's idea of Arian supremacy. Tabari II:21 "Ham [Africans] begat all those who are black and curly-haired, while Japheth [Turks] begat all those who are full-faced with small eyes, and Shem [Arabs] begat everyone who is handsome of face with beautiful hair. Noah prayed that the hair of Ham's descendants would not grow beyond their ears, and that whenever his descendants met the children of Shem, the latter would enslave them." The slavery theme keeps reappearing because Muhammad used the slave trade to finance the spread of Islam. Turning Noah into a racist to justify such behavior wasn't beneath Islam’s prophet - but then again, little was.

We're going to pass by Muhammad’s history lesson on the mythical tribes of Ad and Thamud. Their battles with the Almighty seemed important to Muhammad as he dedicated scores of Hadith to them. But I want to focus on the Islamic path to Abraham as it lies at the core of the prophet's deception. Tabari II:50 "Nimrod was Abraham's master and wanted him burned.... The first king who ruled over all the earth was Nimrod. There were four such kings who ruled all the earth: Nimrod, Solomon bin David, Dhu'l-Qarnain, and Nebuchadnezzar - two believers [Muslims] and two infidels." Nimrod only ruled a city-state. Solomon's kingdom only included a portion of the Middle East. Nebuchadnezzar's realm like that of Dhu'l-Qarnain, as Alexander the Great, was large, but neither ruled over the whole earth. As for two of them being Muslims - Muhammad and Allah are again mistaken. There wasn't a Muslim in the batch.

According to Ishaq's Sira: Tabari II:50 "Allah desired to send Abraham as an argument against his people and as a messenger to His worshippers since there had been no messengers between Noah and Abraham except Hud and Salih [the mythical rulers of Ad and Thamud]." If that's true, there couldn't have been Muslim worshippers. A thousand years had passed with no religious communication. Allah said he destroyed the Ad and Thamud and he never suggests Abraham visited them. So in an attempt to establish a religious context for his scam, Muhammad destroyed it. The scenario he has just laid out precludes worshippers, and without them, all he has shared thus far concerning the establishment of Islamic rites and the veneration of the Ka'aba, could not have been passed along.

"As time drew near, the astrologers came to Nimrod, saying, 'We have learned from our lore that a boy will be born in this city of yours who will be called Abraham. He will abandon your religion and break your idols in such and such a month and year." Muslims are attempting to bestow on Abraham, whom they view as the father of Islam, the same kind of birth announcement enjoyed by Yahshua, the founder of Christianity, but they didn't have a clue when either man actually lived.

Both secular and scriptural histories tell us that Nimrod died centuries before Abraham was born. The clay tablets that were unearthed near ancient Babylon starting in the late 19th century suggest Nimrod died violently at the age of forty around 2800 B.C., two generations after the great flood. Apart from the Bible, Abraham is not as well known. Yet, archeologists have been able to confirm the Biblical accounting of when he lived by unearthing the places the Scriptures say he visited or that coexisted during his time. They have found dozens of corroborating artifacts that confirm Abraham lived between 2100 B.C. and 1950 B.C. These men were not contemporaries.

Since their lives were separated by 700 years, everything Muhammad claims about them is both suspect and uninspired. Tabari II:53 "Another story about Abraham is that a star rose over Nimrod so bright that it blotted out the light of the sun and the moon. He became frightened and called the magicians, soothsayers, and prognosticators to ask about it. They said, 'A man will arise in your domain whose destiny is to destroy you and your rule.' Nimrod lived in Babylon but he left his town and moved to another, forcing all men to go with him but leaving the women. He ordered that any male child who was born should be slain." This is a blatant, although not believable, rip-off of the star of Bethlehem that directed wise men to Yahshua and of King Herod killing the male children born that year in Bethlehem.

The Bible tells us that Abram, the future Abraham, was born in Ur, the great Chaldean city, to Terah. His journey to the Promised Land is detailed in Genesis 11. Muhammad says: "Some task in Babylon came up for which Nimrod could trust only Azar, the father of Abraham. He sent him to do the job, saying, 'See that you do not have intercourse with your wife.' Azar said to him, 'I am too tenacious in my religion for that.' But when he entered Babylon he visited his wife and could not control himself. He had intercourse with her and fled to a town called Ur."

Tabari II:53 "When Abraham's mother found that she was in labor she went out to a cave near her house and bore Abraham. She shut the cave up on him and returned home. Later when she went to see how he had done, she found him alive, sucking his thumb. Allah placed Abraham's sustenance in it." Muhammad was abandoned by his mother at birth, so he invented this story to mimic his own childhood.

Tabari II:51 "Abraham had been in the cave for fifteen months when he said to his mother, 'Take me out that I may look around.'" Why bother? After fifteen months of living in a cave, he would have been blind. "So she took him out one evening and he looked about and thought of the creation of the heavens and the earth and said, 'Verily the One who created me and fed me is my Lord - I have no other god but Him.'" Thus, an infant conceived the first pillar of Islam. But alas, the Hadith and Qur'an quickly plummet into spiritual delirium. "He looked out at the sky and saw a star. 'This is my Lord.' He followed it with his eyes until it disappeared. When it set he said, 'I do not like things that set.' Then he saw the moon rising and said, 'This is my Lord.' [Perceptive kid - Allah began his life as a moon deity.] And he followed it until it disappeared. When it set, he said, 'If my Lord did not guide me, I would have gone astray.'" A fifteen-month-old baby converts from paganism to Islam by watching the moon. Sure, why not.

Like so many Islamic Traditions, these were written to provide the context the Qur'an lacks. Let's dive into the 6th surah to hear what Allah has to say: Qur'an 6:74 "When Abraham said to his sire, Azar: 'Why do you take idols for gods? I find you and your people in manifest error.' Thus We showed Abraham the visible and invisible kingdom of the heavens and earth that he might be of those who are sure and believe. So when night overshadowed him, he saw a star. Said he: 'This is my Lord.' When it set, he said: 'I do not love the setting ones.' When he saw the moon rising, he said: 'This is my Lord.' When it set, he said: 'If my Lord had not guided me I would be of the erring people who go astray.'" This is embarrassing. The conversation condemns the message. After Allah personally showed Abe his kingdom so that he might be sure, the Islamic babe turns to the sky, the source of idols, and says, "This is my Lord." What is it about Islam that turns everyone's brains to mush - Allah’s included?

Qur'an 6:78 "Then when he saw the sun rising, he said: 'My Lord is surely this, the greatest of all.' So when it set, he said: 'O my people, I am through with those. Surely I have turned my face toward Him who originated the heavens and earth, and I am not a polytheist.'" The sun, the most popular pagan deity, is now god, never mind it was the moon in the preceding Tradition. After becoming an idolater, he magically turns and says he's through with idols. And after asking a star, the moon, and the sun if they were god, he says he's not a polytheist. All the context in the world, all the explanations ever written, can't undo the damage the Qur'an does to itself.

Tabari explains it this way: Tabari II:51 "When day came upon Abraham and the sun rose, he saw the greatness of the sun and saw that here was something with more light than he had ever seen before. He said, 'This is my Lord! This is greater.' And when it set he exclaimed, 'O my people, I am free from all the things which you associate with Him.'" Muhammad wants us to believe that all it took to "free" this fifteen-month old baby from pagan idolatry, worshiping the sun, moon, and stars, to become a Muslim in the oneness of Allah was for the sun to set.

Qur'an 6:80 "His people disputed with him." What people? Depending upon whether you believe Muhammad’s Hadith or Allah’s Qur'an, he's with his mom or dad. He's a toddler, having just emerged from a cave for the first time. "He said: 'Do you dispute with me respecting Allah? He has guided me. I do not fear those that you set up with Him, unless my Lord pleases; my Lord comprehends all things; will you not mind?'"

Let me see if I can decipher this. Over the course of one brief conversation, dishonest Abe tells his father that he and his people are in manifest error, and that idolatry is bad. After visiting heaven he says that big bright shiny things are gods, and that he is not a polytheist. Then he disputes with people he has never seen about their religion. He even says that he doesn't fear their gods, unless of course, his god wants him to fear them. And, wouldn't you know it, after such drivel, he tells them to mind him. This Qur'anic passage destroys the Islamic myth of divine inspiration, for this is not some minor event in the life of Islam. Abraham is purported to be the religion's founder, and this is his moment of awakening.

Qur'an 6:81 "Why should I fear what you have set up with Allah, that for which He has not sent down to you any authority." We can only assume that the Abe babe is speaking of idols his people have erected in shrines like the Ka'aba. "O my father! Why do you worship that which neither hears, nor sees, nor can in any way help you?" Even something as simple as this indicts Muhammad. It’s a rip off. As we shall see in upcoming chapters, Arabian Hanifs (monotheists) during Muhammad’s day had it figured out. They had said of the rock idols in the Ka'aba, "Why do you worship that which neither hears, nor sees, nor can help you in any way?"

"Do you reject my gods, Abraham? If you do not cease this, I shall stone you." As sick as this sounds, it depicts Muslim behavior. If a son renounces Islam, his father will kill him. One of my friends, a former Muslim, had this very thing happen to him. Hearing the news, his loving father reached for his gun and fired it at his son, narrowly missing him. Mark Gabriel, who holds a Ph.D. in Islamic History, wrote a book about his experience called: Islam and Terror.

Qur'an 6:83 "And this was Our argument which we gave to Abraham against his people. And We gave him Ishaq (Isaac) and Yah'qub (Jacob) [Oops. Abraham was given Isaac and Ishmael. Jacob came later]; each did We guide, and Nuh (Noah) did We guide before, and of his descendants, David and Solomon, and Job and Joseph and Moses and Aaron; and thus do We reward those who do good (following Muhammad’s example in the Sunnah). And Zachariah and Yahya (John), Isa (Jesus) and Elias; every one was of the good [i.e. Muslims]; And Ishmael and Elisha and Jonah and Lot and every one We preferred above men and jinn." One of the many problems with the Qur'an is that Allah was no brighter than Muhammad. Job was a gentile and a contemporary of Abraham. As such he could neither be Abe's descendant nor follow Solomon.

I am reasonably certain that the Yathrib Jews read their scriptures correctly to Muhammad. But having a poor memory, and a heinous agenda, he got them all fouled up. I don't say that to be mean-spirited, just informative. Muhammad will convict himself of having a heinous agenda a thousand times over before we are through. As prophets go, he was pretty pathetic.

Returning to the Islamicized Abraham, Ibn Ishaq tells us: Tabari II:52 "Then Abraham returned to his father Azar, having seen the right course. He had recognized his Lord." Actually, all he had done was recognize who his Lord wasn't And while that may sound picky, that's all Muhammad really did. Ultimately, he promoted the largest of the Meccan rock idols, Allah, and denounced the rest. "He was free of the religion of his people, but he did not tell them that." This, too, is revisionism for the sake of Muhammad. Allah’s Messenger kept quiet about his first "revelation" for several years.

One of the most repetitive and damning indictments in the Qur'an comes from the Meccans. They recognized that Muhammad’s notion of casting the smaller Ka'aba idols aside so that the largest idol could be feared as the one true god was lunacy. A big stone was no more god than a bunch of little ones. Ishaq:38 "Every house had an idol. When Allah sent Muhammad with the message of monotheism, the Quraysh said: 'Would he make many gods into one god? This is a strange thing.'" So Muhammad, ever in character, changed the story of the great Hebrew patriarch Abraham to make his behavior seem inspired.

This sorry tale is chronicled in both the Hadith and Qur'an. Tabari II:55 "His father told him, 'Abraham, we have a festival. If you go to it you will learn to like our religion.' The festival came and they went to it. On the way Abraham threw himself down and said, 'I am sick. My foot hurts.' When they went away he called to the last of them. 'I shall deal with your idols after you have gone away and turned your backs.' Abraham went to the house of the gods which was in a great hall. Opposite the entrance was a great idol, and at his side a smaller one, and next to him a smaller one, and so on." Too bad Allah didn't get out more. He would have known that in Abraham's day the Temple of Ur housed just one god - Sin - a masculine moon deity like himself. Unlike the Ka'aba, there weren't a bunch of rock idols lying around.

"Azar made a living making the idols which his people worshipped, and he employed Abraham to sell them. Abraham would call out, 'Who will buy what will be of no use to him.' So they became unsellable. He would take them to the river and point their heads at it and say, 'Drink.' mocking his people. At length his mocking spread about among the inhabitants of his town, although Nimrod did not hear of it. Then when the time seemed right to Abraham to reveal to his people the error of what they were doing, and to tell them of Allah’s command and of how to pray, he glanced up at the stars and said, 'I feel sick.' They fled from him when they heard it, but Abraham had only said it to make them go away so that he could do what he wanted with their idols. When they left he went to the idols and brought them food. He said, 'Will you not eat? What is the matter? Why do you not speak?' reproaching their falsely elevated position and mocking them."

If you've got one, open your Qur'an to the 37th surah. So as not to take Allah’s word out of context, let's read from the beginning, picking up the highlights as we go along. Seeing Allah as he really is will help elucidate the Islamic mystery. The peace-loving god tells his troops: "By those (angels) arranged in battle ranks who are strong in repelling and thus proclaim the Message of Allah! Verily, your Ilah (God) is one!" Thank god for small favors. Qur'an 37:6 "We have decked the lower heaven with stars to protect them against all rebellious evil spirits, and provide security from every forward devil. So they cannot listen to the highest chiefs for they are pelted from every side, repulsed; they are under a perpetual torment, being driven off. Except such as they snatch away something by stealth, but then they are pursued by a flaming fire of piercing brightness." In Islam, stars are used to guard against forward devils. The Islamic Ilah (God) named Allah would have us believe that he dissuades and torments "evil spirits" with physical objects.

Qur'an 37:11 "Just ask their opinion (Muhammad). [Whose opinion - the stars', the rebellious evil spirits'?] Are they the more difficult to create, or the other beings We have created? Them have We created out of a sticky clay! Are they stronger as a creation? Truly dost thou marvel, while they ridicule." Nay, I dost both marvel and ridicule. Qur'an 37:13 "When they are admonished, pay no heed. When they see a Sign, [they] turn it to mockery, and incite one another to scoff. And say, 'This is nothing but evident sorcery!'" I agree.

Qur'an 37:16 "What! When we die, and become dust and bones, shall we be raised up and also our fathers of old? Say (Muhammad): 'Yea, and ye shall then be humiliated: Ye, in truth; and ye will be brought low.'" I suppose some Muslim scholar thought translating the Qur'an into Elizabethan English would make it sound religious. But lo, methinks it helpeth thee not. For your sake and mine, I will continue to edit most of the archaic language out of the text. I have also made a habit of correcting much of Allah’s grammar, punctuation, verbosity, and oblique sentence structure. Qur'an 37:19 "Then will be a single cry; and behold, they will stare! They will say, 'Woe to us! This is the Day of Doom.' This you denied! Assemble the wrong-doers and their wives and the things they worshipped besides Allah, then lead them to the fierce flaming fires of Hell." Even cleaned up, the message is repulsive.

Allah stoops to interrogate his captives. Qur'an 37:24 "But stop them, for they are to be questioned. 'What is the matter with you that you do not help each other.' Nay, but this day they make full submission.... 'The sentence has come against us: we shall taste the punishment.'" Remember, according to Islam, people are never given a choice. They are predestined at birth to perish in hell's fire. Thus, this questioning is for Allah’s entertainment. Qur'an 37:33 "Truly, they will all share at the Penalty of Doom. That is how We shall deal with the Mujrimun (non-Muslims). For when they were told that there is no ilah (god) but Allah, they puffed themselves up with pride and were scornful. They said: 'What, shall we give up our alihah (gods) for the sake of an insane possessed poet?'" This was "revealed" so Muhammad could lash out at the Meccans. They called him insane for turning many idols into one god. They said he was demon-possessed due to the hellish tone of his Qur'an.

As you might expect, Allah didn't see it that way. Muhammad’s alter ego had but one spokesperson. If he faltered, Allah crumbled with him. Qur'an 37:37 "Nay, he has come with the truth, and he confirms the Message of the messengers before him. You shall indeed taste the grievous penalty of painful doom." Tease Muhammad and Allah will burn you. It’s the Qur'an's never-ending taunt.

Qur'an 37:40 "Save the chosen slaves of Allah; For them there is a known provision: Fruits, Delights; they will be honored in the Gardens of Pleasure, on thrones facing one another. Round them will be passed a cup of pure white wine, delicious to the drinkers, free from ghoul (hurt) or intoxication, nor shall you be made mad or exhausted thereby." We've got the thrones and Allah’s special brew, now all we need are the virgins. "And with them will be Qasirat-at-Tarf (virgin females), restraining their glances (desiring none but you), with big, beautiful eyes. As if they were (sheltered) eggs, preserved."

If the martyrs get virgins, what do their victims get? Qur'an 37:54 "He said: 'Would you like to look down.' He looked down and saw him in the midst of the Fire, in the depths of Hell. He said: 'You nearly caused me to perish! Had it not been for my Lord, I would have been among those brought there [the suicide bomber said to the innocent children he had blown to pieces]!'" Allah wanted the mass murderers to know: Qur'an 37:59 "Except for your former death, you shall not be punished. This is the supreme triumph! For the likes of this let us strive. That is the better entertainment."

Hell's torments sound a lot like what might have occurred around a desert campfire. Qur'an 37:63 "For We have truly made it as a trial to torment the disbelievers. Zaqqum is a horrible thorn tree that grows in Hell. The shoots of its fruit-stalks are like the heads of devils. Truly they [non-Muslims] will eat it and fill their bellies with it. On top of that they will be given a mixture made of boiling water to drink especially prepared. Then they shall be returned to the Blazing Fire," Allah, Islam’s terrorist ilah proclaimed.

We have finally arrived at the passage the Hadith was trying to illuminate. We wanted to find out why Abraham said he was sick and why he was playing with idols. Qur'an 37:83 "Surely among those who followed His Way (Islam) was Abraham. He came to his Lord with a sound heart. He said to his father and to his folk, 'What is that which you worship? Is it a falsehood - alihah (gods) besides Allah that you desire?'" The Qur'an didn't define what his "Way" was. Islam is supposed to be the religion of Abraham yet the Qur'an never explains what that might be.

Qur'an 37:87 "'Then what is your idea about the Lord of men and jinn.' Abraham cast a glance at the Stars. And he said, 'I am indeed sick!'" Abe's question about the Lord of the worlds followed by the capitalization of "Stars" is a problem. In the Qur'an, capitalization is a tribute to deity. Second, why did Abraham need to lie to accomplish his god's agenda? One of my translations actually alters the text by adding a parenthetical to obfuscate this problem: "Surely I am sick (of your worshipping these)." Another says "sick (with plague)." Even Muhammad calls Abe a liar. Tabari II:63 "The Messenger said: 'Abraham told three lies in his life. Two of them were about Allah - his saying "I feel sick" and his saying "The chief idol is the one who did it."'"

Qur'an 37:90 "They turned their backs and went away. He turned to their gods secretly and said, 'Will you not eat?' 'What is the matter with you that you don't speak?'" Deprived of place, time, and circumstance, this doesn't make sense. Where was he? Why did he go to these gods? What are their names? And since Allah never spoke or ate, the revisionist Abe is being hypocritical. The following Hadith, stolen from the Talmud, scrambles to make sense of this: Tabari II:55 "The people prepared food and placed it before the gods, saying, 'When we come back the gods will have blessed our food and we will eat.' When Abraham saw them with the food, he said, 'Will you not eat?' And when they did not answer, he said, 'What ails you that you don't speak?' Then he attacked them. He took a piece of iron and cut off each idol's extremities. Then when only the largest idol was left, he tied the axe to its hand. When the people came to get their food and saw their gods in this state, they said, 'An evildoer has done this to our gods.'"

That was from Muhammad’s Sunnah by way of the Jewish Talmud. This is from Allah’s Qur'an: Qur'an 37:93 "He turned upon them secretly, attacking, striking (them) with the right hand. Then came (people) with hurried steps, and faced (him). He said: 'What! do you worship what you hew out? But Allah has created you and your handwork!'"

Let's turn to the salient portion of the 21st surah, named "The Prophets," to make certain we are looking at Islam’s poison pill from all possible sides. Qur'an 21:51 "We bestowed on Abraham correctness of conduct, and well were We acquainted with him. Behold, he said to his father and his folk, 'What are these images, to which you are devoted?' They said, 'We found our fathers worshipping them.' He said, 'Indeed you have been in manifest error - you and your fathers.' They said, 'Have you brought us the truth, or are you some jester?'" This Qur'anic indulgence also emerges out of the blue without reference to the audience, place, time, or religion. Devoid of this context the passage is senseless today. Yet in Mecca, the meaning would have been crystal clear. Muhammad was being recast as Abraham.

Qur'an 21:56 "He said, 'Nay, your Lord is the Lord of the heavens and earth, He created them and I am a witness to this. I have a plot for your idols and will do something against them after you go away and turn your backs.' So he broke them to pieces, (all) but the biggest of them, that they might turn to it." A second translation says: "Then he reduced them to fragments, all save the chief of them, that haply they might have recourse to it."

This is one of the most incriminating verses in the Qur'an. Muhammad did this very thing. The prophet took the largest of the pagan idols of the Ka'aba - Allah - and promoted it to the exclusion of the others. He broke the smaller rock gods and elevated the Black Stone so that his people "might turn to it." It was as if the early Greeks had broken the statues of Athena, Poseidon, and Hermes so that they could worship the one true god Zeus. How was the biggest idol any more "god" than the other imposters?

While I'll continue to convey Islam’s version of dishonest Abe to illustrate how Muhammad crafted his religious scam, I would be remiss if I didn't credit the prophet with his first miracle. He just pounded a nail into his own coffin.

The Qur'anic story continues with these uninspired words: Qur'an 21:59 "They said, 'Who has done this to our alihah (gods)?' 'He is a mischief-monger.' 'We heard a youth talk of them called Abraham.' 'Then bring him before us that he may testify.' They said, 'Are you the one who did this?' He said: 'No, it was done by the biggest idol! Ask the other idols if they can speak!'...They were utterly shamed and confounded. 'You know they do not speak.' He said: 'What! Do you then serve besides Allah what brings no profit, nor can harm you? 'Fie [?] upon you, and upon the things that you worship besides Allah! Have you no sense.' They said, 'Burn him and protect our gods.'" Since Allah never spoke, why didn't that shame Muhammad? And why would the supposed patriarch of monotheistic Islam tell his people that a pagan god smashed lesser idols? Would that not make the idol real? Moreover, the Muhammadized Abraham called a "god" false because it "cannot harm you." The implication is that Allah is real because he's fixated on sadistic torments. That's not good.

Now that we have an argument raging, it's time to reshape Abraham of Ur into the image of Muhammad of Mecca. For this we will bounce between the 37th and 21st surahs. Qur'an 37:97 "They said, 'Build him a furnace, and fling him into the blazing red-hot fire.' They then sought a plot against him, but We made them the ones most humiliated! And he said: 'Surely I fly to my lord; He will guide me.'" When the townsfolk of Mecca developed their plot and tried to burn Muhammad’s britches, he flew off to Allah in his dreams. He jumped on al-Buraq, an imaginary winged steed, half ass and half donkey (like its rider), and cruised to heaven by way of Jerusalem. Although he humiliated himself with his tale of derring-do, Muhammad also claimed that it was really the Meccans who were dashed.

Qur'an 21:69 "We said, 'O Fire, be cool and safety for Abraham.' Then they sought a stratagem against him and wished to set a snare, but We made them the ones that lost most!" I know Allah loves plots, but this is ridiculous. Why would the townsfolk design a plot to snare him after they were burning him? Qur'an 21:71 "But We delivered him and Lot to the land [of Israel] which We have blessed for men and jinn." This must be a joke. Allah has blessed Israel? Was that the blessing of the PLO or Islamic Jihad?

As the Islamic Abraham flees the fire, we are confronted with an odd transition and unbelievable dialog. Qur'an 37:100 "'Lord, grant me a righteous (son).' So We gave him the good news of a boy ready to suffer and forbear. Then, when (the son) reached (the age of) (serious) work with him, he said: 'Son! I see in a vision that I offer you in sacrifice: Now what is your view.' (The son) said: 'O my father! Do as you are commanded: you will find me, if Allah so wills, one practicing Patience and Constancy!'" Even with nine words artificially inserted into the text by the translators for clarification, this verse is bizarre. It is as if Muhammad overheard a half dozen Bible stories and tried to tie them all together in one paragraph. Over the course of five sentences he takes us from a gang of nameless people building a furnace to terrorize Abe to having him terrorize his son. And there is a significant detail missing - the son's name isn't stated because Muhammad can't decide which son should be sacrificed or even where or when the event occurred.

Qur'an 37:103 "When they had surrendered (to Allah), and he had flung him on his face, We called out, 'Abraham! You have fulfilled the vision! Lo! that was a clear test. And We ransomed him with a momentous sacrifice, with a tremendous victim!'" Allah, the counterfeit god, continues to falsify history. Qur'an 37:110 "Thus do We reward the doers of good. For he was one of Our believing slaves. And We gave him the good news of the birth of Isaac, a prophet among the good ones. We blessed him and Isaac: but of their progeny are (some) that do right, and (some) that obviously do wrong." As a reward for Abraham's faithfulness, Allah predicts the birth of the son he almost sacrificed. Brilliant.

Somewhere, sometime, someone may have done a worse job plagiarizing, but it's hard to imagine. The omissions, the lack of place, time, and purpose degrade one of the Bible's great events. Muhammad, I mean Allah, was trying to rip off, I mean utilize, the story of Abraham and Isaac. The original provides such a refreshing change from this drivel it's worth a quick review.

First, Yahweh sets the scene and unfolds the story chronologically. Genesis chronicles the life of Abraham, the places he lived, the people he encountered, as well as the birth of his two sons, Isaac and Ishmael. Yahweh had told Abraham to send Ishmael out of the Promised Land, and the boy fell out of Abraham's life and Yahweh's plans, fading into Biblical oblivion. As we approach the 22nd chapter, God tells us that Abraham was living in Beersheba. He had just returned from visiting the Philistines in Gaza. Within that context, he speaks to him about Isaac, the patriarch's miracle child from his wife Sarah, the beneficiary of the covenant.

"Now it came about after these things, that Yahweh tested Abraham and called to him, 'Abraham.' 'Here I am.' Yahweh said, 'Take your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah and offer him there as a sacrifice on one of the mountains of which I will tell you.'" The Temple in Jerusalem was built on Mount Moriah by Solomon to commemorate Abraham's faith. Yahshua would be sacrificed there to save mankind. To this day, it remains the most coveted place on earth. And it's a three-day walk, forty miles north by northwest, from Beersheba.

The details of the sacrifice were extraordinarily important to Yahweh. This drama had to be played out exactly as it would happen to Yahshua. The timing was important, too. The call came 2,000 years after the fall of Adam and two thousand years before the Messiah endured the same fate. Remember, Yahweh gave us a pattern - six eras of creation followed by an era of rest. It has been nearly 2,000 years since Yahshua's sacrifice and the Scriptures tell us that 1,000 years of peace will follow his return.

"So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey and took two of his young men with him along with Isaac. He split wood for the sacrifice and went to the place Yahweh had told him to go. On the third day Abraham raised his eyes and saw it from a distance. Abraham said to his young men, 'Stay here with the donkey. The lad and I will go yonder. We will worship and return to you.' Abraham took the wood for the offering and laid it on his son. He took the fire and the knife. (Fire is a metaphor for judgment and the knife is the implement of atonement.) Walking together, Isaac said, 'My father.' He answered, 'Here I am, my son.' 'I see the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the offering?' 'Yahweh will provide for himself the lamb for the offering.'" (Notice that Abraham actually answers in God’s name - I Am, or Yahweh - every time he is called.)

"When they came to the place of which Yahweh had told him; Abraham arranged the altar, bound his son Isaac, and laid him on the wood. Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to sacrifice his son. But Yahweh called to him from heaven, and said, 'Abraham.' 'Here I am.' 'Do not stretch out your hand against the boy and do nothing to him for I know that you love Me, since you have not withheld your son, your only son from Me.'

"Then Abraham raised his eyes and looked and saw a ram caught in the thicket by his horns; he took the ram and offered him in place of his son. 'Because you have done this thing, and have not withheld your son, I will greatly bless you and I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heavens...and through your descendents all the nations of the earth shall be blessed.' So Abraham returned to his men, and they arose and went together to Beersheba where Abraham lived."

Real scripture sets human events in context so that we can learn something. Yahweh not only explained the nature of his relationship with man but also explained what was to come, so when it happened, we might recognize the significance.

Returning to the Sira, Ishaq replays Muhammad’s fantasy in front of Nimrod rather than in the great hall of idols. After daring the gods to talk, Abraham is questioned by a king who died 700 years earlier. Tabari II:57 "'Have you seen this Allah whom you worship and whose worship you call others? Who is he.' Abraham replied, 'My Lord, Who gives life and causes death.' [The question was too tough so he did the old political side step.] Nimrod said, 'I give life and cause death.'" They chatted about this for a while and then Abraham said, "'Allah causes the sun to rise in the East, so can you make it rise in the West.' [Good thing he didn't mention the chariot thing, the angelic handholds, or the garment of luminosity.] Knowing that it was as Abraham said, Nimrod was ashamed. He gave no answer; he knew that he was not able to do that. Allah said, 'Thus was the unbeliever abashed' - that is to say, the proof was against him." Now that Muslims know that the sun does not follow Allah’s commands, shouldn't they be ashamed? Isn't the proof clearly against them?

Tabari II:58 "They pushed Abraham into the furnace. Then the heavens and earth and all creatures therein except humans and jinn shouted to Allah, 'Our Lord! Abraham, the only one on your earth who worships you, is being burned in fire for your sake. Permit us to help him.'" Everybody talks to Allah except humans and demons. Who might they be? "Allah answered, 'I am his friend. I will protect him. O fire! Be coolness and peace for Abraham.'" So following this fireside chat, we read: "Imprison him in a building and cast him into Hell. ... Abraham raised his head [and contradicted most all of what we have read thus far], 'You are alone in heaven and I am alone on earth.'...Had Allah not followed the command for coolness with peace, Abraham would have frozen to death."

Tabari II:62 "Abraham and Lot set out for Syria. On the way Abraham met Sarah, who was the daughter of the king of Harran." Actually, Abram left Ur for Haran traveling along the banks of the Euphrates River. He was accompanied by his father, Terah, his wife and half sister, Sarai, and his nephew, Lot. "She had criticized her people about their religion, so he married her, since he would be able to have a believing wife without having to convert her." This verse implies one becomes a Muslim by criticizing a religion. "Then Abraham went forth, a fugitive for the sake of his Lord...to practice his religion and worship safely." Why would Abe fear for his safety after being saved from the fire? And why, if he was God’s messenger, did he leave town? Shouldn't he have stayed and tried to save the Babylonians?

No. Recasting Abraham was more important. Muhammad fled Mecca as a fugitive. He ran to Yathrib, today’s Medina because some pagans promised to protect him. The revisionist Abraham makes the cowardly Muhammad appear more godly. "He settled in Harran. Then he left as a fugitive and traveled to Egypt which was under the rule of one of the earliest Pharaohs." Well, not exactly. The first Egyptian ruler was probably the Scorpion King. He ruled more than five hundred years before Abraham's arrival.

"Sarah was one of the best humans ever. She would not disobey Abraham in any way." That was Muhammad’s idea of a perfect woman. From Bukhari's Book of Belief: Bukhari:V1B22N28 "The Prophet said: 'I was shown the Hell Fire and the majority of its dwellers were women who are disbelievers or ungrateful.' When asked what they were ungrateful for, the Prophet answered, 'All the favors done for them by their husbands.'"

Next we find that Muhammad "Islamicized" Abram's encounter with Pharaoh. The only germane insight into this affair is Pharaoh's gift of Hagar, a "Coptic" slave-girl. Flunking history, the Allah/Muhammad duo didn't know that the Coptics were centuries away from arriving on the international scene. Leaving Pharaoh, Abraham tells Sarah, "You are my sister in Allah, for in all this land there are no Muslims except ourselves." So what happened to all those scrolls and to the nations who were worshiping around Allah’s House?

Some of what follows includes: "Hagar was of good appearance and Sarah gave her to Abraham, saying, 'Take her. You may take pleasure in Hagar, for I have permitted it.'" "The Messenger said, 'When you conquer Egypt treat its people well. They're kin and deserve protection.'" "Abraham left Egypt for Syria, for he was afraid of the Egyptian king and anxious about his evil ways. He settled in Beersheba in the land of Palestine, which is the desert of Syria." While most of this comes out of the Bible, it is flavored with the standard Muslim embellishments. One such addition is revealing. There was no Palestine during Abraham's life. The word was first composed by the Romans 2,100 years after Abraham died. The patriarch actually returned to Canaan, named after his great, great uncle. (Folks with King James Bibles may think Isaiah invented the name, but it's an errant translation. Isaiah 14:29 uses "pelesheth," which means: "rolling in dust."

Tabari II:66 "Abraham dug a well in Beersheba and said, 'Drink from it and do not let a menstruating woman dip water from it.'" Muhammad, a sexual libertine if there ever was one, hated menstruation with a passion. As you know, he said that the reason Allah’s Stone turned from white to black was "it was fingered by menstruating women." And as sick as that sounds, this next Hadith is used by Muslims to justify brutalizing their daughters. Tabari II:72 "Sarah swore to cut something off of Hagar. 'I shall cut off her nose, I shall cut off her ear - but no, that would deform her. I will circumcise her instead.' So she did that, and Hagar took a piece of cloth to wipe the blood away. For that reason women have been circumcised and have taken pieces of cloth down to today."

"A menstruating woman came and dipped water from the well. Whereupon the water dried up." While I do not know the connection, the next paragraph begins: "When Allah wished to destroy Lot's people, he sent his messengers to Abraham, commanding him to leave their community. [Weren't we just told that the only two Muslims were Abe and Sarah? And Abraham was in Beersheba, not Sodom, so why ask him to leave?] They had done vile deeds which no one in the two worlds had done before, disbelieving their prophets and rejecting the good counsel which Lot brought them from their Lord. The messengers were ordered to visit Abraham and give him and Sarah tidings of the coming of Isaac and also of Jacob who was to come after him." For Islam to have any hope of being credible, the good news had to be of Ishmael not Isaac. Jacob wasn't Sarah's kid, and neither Jacob nor Isaac are of any value to Islam.

At this point, the Muslim mathematicians jumped into the fray: Tabari II:68 "Abraham was sixteen when he was thrown into the fire, and Isaac was seven when he was sacrificed, while Sarah was ninety when she bore him. The place of his sacrifice was about two miles from Bayt Iliya [?]. When Sarah learned what Allah wanted with Isaac, she fell ill for two days and died on the third. Sarah was 127 when she died." Muslim math is as confused as Muslim science: 127-90=7. So much for Arabic numerals.

Now we get to the important part. Tabari II:69 "After Ishmael and Isaac were born, Allah commanded Abraham to build a House for Him in which He would be worshipped and His name mentioned." This must be the House that Allah didn't build in heaven, that Adam didn't build, that Seth didn't build, that Noah didn't circumnavigate after Allah didn't raise it above the flood.

"Abraham did not know exactly where he was expected to build it, since Allah had not made this clear [nor anything else], and he felt uneasy in the matter. Some scholars say that Allah sent the Sakinah to him [a rip-off of the Hebrew Shekhinah - the presence of Yahweh] to show him where to build the House. The Sakinah went with Abraham, who was also accompanied by his wife Hagar [Hagar was never Abraham's wife and Muslims know it.] and his son Ishmael, who was a small boy."

The Tradition continues: "A man came to Ali bin Talib [Muhammad’s adopted son, his son-in-law, future Caliph], and said, 'Will you tell me about the House?' He replied, 'It was the first built with the blessing of the standing-place of Abraham, and whoever enters it will be safe. If you wish, I will tell you how it was built. Allah said to Abraham, "Build Me a House on earth!" Abraham felt uneasy, so He sent the Sakinah. The Sakinah is a gale-force wind with two heads, and one head followed the other until they reached Mecca and coiled up at the site of the House, the way a snake coils.'"

There are some who suggest that Allah is Satan, the snake who tempted Adam. Using this metaphor to describe Allah’s presence supports that theory. But whether or not that is true, this passage is troubling. Mecca is nearly a thousand miles from Beersheba. These places are separated by rugged mountains and virtually impassible desert. There is no plausible way a hundred-year-old man, a slave girl, and a small child could have endured such a journey. And this may be why neither Muhammad nor Allah ever bothered to tell us how they accomplished the improbable voyage.

Tabari II:70 "Abraham was commanded to build where the Sakinah had rested. When he had finished it except for one stone, [guess which one] the boy went away to build something else. But Abraham said, 'No, I still need one more stone, as I still order you.' So the boy went looking, and when he found one he brought it to Abraham. But Abraham had already set the Black Stone in place. He said, 'Father, who brought you this Stone?' Abraham answered, 'It was Gabriel who brought it to me from heaven.' Then the two of them finished it." And I could have sworn that Muhammad told us that the stone was brought to earth by Adam (Tabari I:298). Was he lying then, or now?

Version two follows. It is also from Ali: "When he built it he went forth and left Hagar and Ishmael behind. Ishmael became very thirsty. Hagar climbed Safa to look for water but saw nothing. Then she went to Marwah, but the same thing happened. Then she returned to Safa and looked around, but could not find Ishmael. After looking seven times without success she said, 'Ishmael, you have died where I cannot see you.'" You may be wondering why she would look for water now and yet not have bothered during the three-month desert crossing. You may be wondering why she would look on the top of barren mountains rather than in a valley oasis. You may be wondering why she repeated the process seven times, endangering the life of her child. The answer is Islam. Muhammad needed to make the hajj rites religious. Even today Muslims are required to run between these mountains seven times. This explains why they do it.

However, there were problems. Abraham was supposed to be the father of Islam. In this Hadith, he didn't perform any of the rites. He merely re-re-re-rebuilt the House and bailed. And the one who performed the Islamic ritual, Hagar, left Islam’s most important child alone in the desert (as did Muhammad’s mother, not so coincidentally).

The sacred Meccan well of Zamzam needed Biblical credibility too, so... "The boy scraped the ground with his finger and the spring of Zamzam welled up. Hagar began to dam up the water, but Gabriel said, 'Leave it.'"

In the versions that follow, we're told, "Abraham and Ishmael set out for Mecca. They took pickaxes without knowing where the house was. So Allah sent a wind, which had two wings and a head of a snake. It swept the area around the Ka'aba clear for them to build the foundations of the original House." Not on the foundations, nor to see the foundations, but to build the foundations of the original House. "This was when Allah said, 'When We prepared for Abraham the place of the House.' [Qur'an 22:26]"

Since three contradictory versions were not enough: Tabari II:71 "Allah commanded Abraham to build the House and to call on humanity to perform the pilgrimage. He left Syria with his son Ishmael and his mother Hagar. Allah sent the Sakinah which had the power of speech. Abraham followed it to Mecca. When it came to the place of the House, it spun round and round and said to Abraham, 'Build on me! Build on me.' [Allah’s House was built upon a snake.] Abraham laid the foundations and raised the House, working with Ishmael until they came to the cornerstone. Abraham said, 'O my little son, find me a stone which I can put here as a sign to the people.' He brought him a stone, but Abraham did not like it. When Ishmael came back the cornerstone had already been brought and put in place." After failing math, science, and history, Islam is failing architecture. The cornerstone is the first rock laid, not the last. And cornerstones are big and rectangular. The Allah Stone is small and oval. But again, it wasn't by accident. The Scriptures refer prophetically to Yahshua as "the cornerstone" and you-know-who was desperate to be just like him.

How was Abraham supposed to call humanity to this place? The valley was uninhabited. It was in the middle of a foreboding desert. The first settlement wouldn't be established for 2,500 years. Furthermore, the Islamic Abraham was piling un-hewn, un-mortared rocks in a desert ravine. The first heavy rain would have done it in.

Perhaps the fifth version of Abraham in Mecca will be more rational. After circumcising Hagar, rather than cutting off her nose: Tabari II:72 "Sarah said, 'She will not live in the same town with me.' So Allah told Abraham to go to Mecca, where there was no House at the time. He took Hagar and her son and put them there.... Allah pointed out to Abraham the place to build the House [which would make Allah the snake]. .... When they reached Mecca, there was nothing there but acacia trees." If that is true, Muhammad’s earlier accounts must have been false. "The House at the time was but a hill of red clay.... When he was done, Abraham headed back to Syria.... Gabriel dug out Zamzam with his heel for Ishmael." All I can assume is that neither Muhammad nor Allah had a clue as to how the rock-pile got there. These wildly divergent explanations are preceded and followed by dozens more. It is as if Muslims think truth can be found in a pile of lies, if only the pile is big enough.

The Traditions move on to recount a variety of patriarchal Meccan visits. Never mind that Mecca didn't exist. Muhammad wants us to believe in fairytales, in talking stones and trees: Tabari II:78 "And everything that heard him - stones, trees, hills, and dust said, 'Here I am, Allah, here I am.'"

Continuing to give meaningless ritual religious meaning: Tabari II:81 "Abraham took Ishmael with him on the day of Tarwiyah [the 8th day of the hajj] and stayed at Mina with the Muslims who were there. He prayed with them the prayers of midday, afternoon, sunset and late evening. He spent the night and prayed the dawn prayer with them. In the morning he went out to Arafat, and he spoke to them there until sunset drew near." This Hadith goes on to detail all of the remaining hajj rituals, all of which are still performed by Muslims as if they were acting out Abraham's example. "He showed them the sacrifice-ground of Mina, then performed the sacrifice and shaved his head. From Mina he went into the crowd to show them how to perform the march around the Ka'aba. Then he took them back to Mina to show them how to throw the stones, until he had completed the pilgrimage and proclaimed it to mankind."

Because the previous account was unbelievable for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which was that there were no Muslims in Mecca, Muhammad felt compelled to give it an angelic twist. Tabari II:82 "The Prophet said, 'Gabriel came to Abraham on the day of Tarwiyah and went with him to Mina, Arafat, back to Mina, threw stones, performed the sacrifice, shaved his head, and finally hurried to the House. Then Allah ordered Muhammad to 'follow the religion of Abraham.'" [Qur'an 16:123] That must mean that the religion of Abraham, Islam, can be defined as running between two desolate mountains, tossing stones at stones, shaving one's head, and walking around a rock pile. And so it would be. Even today, Islam is known for its rites and rituals rather than for its righteousness or reason.

As we turn the page, we find ourselves embroiled in the mother of all disagreements. Even Muhammad and Allah are at odds: "The earliest sages of our Prophet's nation disagree about which of Abraham's two sons it was that he was commanded to sacrifice. Some say it was Isaac, while other say it was Ishmael." Mind you, these are the very same people we are reliant upon for remembering the Qur'an and passing it along orally so that other sages could jot it down. This might well explain why it is so disjointed, contradictory, and I dare say silly, (not to mention perverted, demented, and disgusting).

Tabari reports: "Both statements are supported by testimony related on the authority of the Prophet. Both statements are equally sound since they both came from the Prophet. Thus only the Qur'an [which also came from the Prophet] could serve as proof that the account naming Isaac was clearly the more truthful of the two." But if that is the case, Islam falters, since it draws its legitimacy from Ishmael. Muhammad claims that he was "prophet quality" because he was a direct descendant of Ishmael.

Tabari II:83 "'We ransomed him with a tremendous victim.' [Qur'an 37:107] refers to Isaac." But how can that be? In verse 104 Allah says, "We called out, 'Abraham, You have fulfilled your dream, thus do we reward the good. That was indeed a trying test.' So...We gave him the good news of Isaac." How can Abe have nearly sacrificed Isaac if the reward for fulfilling that trying test was Isaac?

In version two: "'Messenger, repeat the knowledge Allah has given you about the son of the two victims.' The Messenger laughed and they said, 'Who are the two victims?' The Prophet said, 'When Abd al-Muttalib was ordered to dig Zamzam [Not Ishmael or Gabriel?], he vowed that if Allah would make it easy for him, he would sacrifice one of his sons. The choice fell upon Abdallah, but his uncles prevented it, saying, 'Ransom your son with one hundred camels.' So he did that, and Ishmael was the other victim.'" The first boy spared, Abdallah, "Slave-to-Allah," was Muhammad’s father. And as we shall soon see, he botched that story as badly as he did the other.

Tabari II:84 "When Abraham was told to sacrifice Isaac, Satan said, 'By Allah, if I cannot deceive the people with this, I shall never be able to do it.'" Satan not only swears by Allah, he says that the bogus connection between Abraham and Islam is his best way to fool mankind. And he was right!

It’s also interesting that the deception would be over sacrifice. Judaism, Christianity, and all rational civilizations use sacrifice as the means to promote justice and maintain spiritual or societal order. Commit a crime and you will be required to sacrifice your money, your freedom, or your life. If crime is without cost, anarchy reigns. In Judaism, the sacrificial rite for the forgiveness of sin was rich in symbolism. It was based upon the "Mercy Seat" of the Ark of the Covenant. And it was connected prophetically to the blood of an unblemished lamb or dove. It’s all explained in the Torah. In Christianity, Yahshua became the perfect lamb and sacrificed himself on our behalf.

But in Qur'anic Islam, there is no sacrifice. While the Sunnah perpetuates Qusayy's senseless slaughter, it's for appeasement, not atonement. There is no symbolism, no prophetic implication, and no moral reason, as forgiveness is capricious in Islam. And that is why totalitarian governments use draconian measures to maintain order. Muhammad was an amoral thief empowered by situational scriptures, so he failed to appreciate the necessity of sacrifice and he never understood the Biblical concept of sacrificial atonement. It’s why the "ransom of great sacrifice" mentioned in the Qur'an is left unexplained.

Tabari II:87 "Caliph Umar said, 'I asked a former Jew, who was considered to be a great Jewish scholar before he converted to Islam. He said, 'Ishmael, by God, O Prince of Believers. The Jews know that, but they are envious of you Arabs because it was your father who was named in Allah’s command and to whom Allah ascribed such merit.' ' "

Then why do you suppose the prophet said, "When Isaac grew up, Abraham had a dream in which he was told, 'Fulfill your promise that if Allah grants you a son by Sarah you will sacrifice him. [In other words: "If you give me a son I'll kill him for you."] Then he drew the knife across Isaac's throat, but the knife did not scratch him, for Allah had placed a sheet of copper on Isaac's throat. When Abraham saw it he turned him over and tried to cut him on the nape of his neck.' This confirms Allah’s Qur'an: 'When he surrendered, he flung him down upon his face.'" [Qur'an 37:103]

In the next Hadith it's Ishmael: "When Abraham was alone with his son on the trail on Mt. Thabir [a mountain near Mecca], it is said he said to Ishmael, 'O my son, I saw in a dream that I was to sacrifice you. What do you think?' Ishmael told him, 'O my father, Do as you were ordered...and sharpen your knife-blade so that it will finish me off quickly.'"

The tests attributed to Abraham may be the low water mark for Islam’s credibility thus far. This strand of pearls begins to unwind in Tabari's second volume, Prophets and Patriarchs: Tabari II:97 "After Allah had put Abraham to the test - when Nimrod bin Cush tried to burn him in the fire, when He commanded him to sacrifice his son after he had become old enough to walk, when He made him raise the foundations of the House, and devote himself to its rituals - after all of this, He put Abraham to the test with still further commands which He has mentioned. He said, 'And when his Lord tried Abraham with commands and he fulfilled them.' [Qur'an 2:124] The earliest scholars of the Islamic community (ummah) disagreed about the nature of these commandments with which Allah tested Abraham and which Abraham obeyed."

These tests were crucial because Islam - according to Muhammad - was the result of Abraham's obedience. Yet the Qur'an is deficient - completely silent on the nature of these trials and their significance. So rather than let Allah wallow in blissful ignorance, the Companions rushed in to save the day. Tabari II:98 "Islam consists of thirty parts, and no one ever tested with this obligation carried it out, except Abraham." "'And when his Lord tried Abraham with commands' means that Allah tested him with the acts of ritual purification, five in the head and five in the body. [5+5=30] Those in the head are: trimming the mustache, rinsing the mouth, cleansing the nostrils with water, using the toothstick, and parting the hair with the fingers. Those in the body are: paring the nails, shaving the pubic hair, circumcision, plucking the armpit, and washing off traces of feces and urine."

Can't be! Surely this is a misprint. There is no way that the adoptive father of the world's fastest growing religion earned the dubious honor by passing such an inane "test." Let's examine another Hadith to make sure we've got this right. "Allah’s words, 'When his Lord tried Abraham with commands.' mean that Abraham was tested by circumcision, shaving his pubic hair, washing the fore-part and rear, using a toothstick, trimming the mustache, paring nails, and plucking his armpits.'"

That wasn't any better. How about this: Tabari II:99 "Abraham was tested with ten Islamic practices: rinsing the mouth, cleansing the nostrils with water, trimming the mustache, using a toothstick, plucking the armpit, paring the nails, washing finger joints, circumcision, shaving pubic hair, and washing the rear and vulva." So after adding: "bathing on Friday," a fourth version gets ritualistic with: "walking around the Ka'aba, running between Safa and Marwah, stoning pillars, and hurrying." I disdain ritual. I am, therefore, unimpressed with its justification. Ritual is a tool used by power-hungry men to condition the masses and subject them to their rule. It is a control device for the oppressor to use against the ignorant. It separates men from God and discourages rational inquiry. But no ritual has ever been this ridiculous.

Tabari claims that these Hadiths somehow illuminate portions of the 2nd surah. Let's see how: Qur'an 2:118 "Those who are ignorant say: 'Why doesn't Allah speak to us Himself or show us a sign.' So said the people before them. We have indeed shown our clear signs already." Neither Allah nor Muhammad ever bothered to provide any proof of divine inspiration - no signs, no miracles, no prophecies - so this, once again, refers to the miracles of the Bible.

"Lo! We have sent you (Muhammad) with the truth, a bringer of glad tidings and a warner. And you will not be asked about the companions of the Blazing Hell Fire." That's almost funny. Allah is telling Muhammad that he won't be asked about hell. Why then do you suppose hell is the Qur'an's most oft repeated subject?

Qur'an 2:120 "Never will the Jews or the Christians be satisfied with you unless you follow their form of religion. Say: 'The guidance of Allah is Guidance. ... Those to whom We have given the Book read it as it ought to be read." The Qur'an cannot be true and confirm the Bible as Allah claims if Judeo-Christianity is an errant "form of religion." And at this point the Qur'an wasn't remotely complete; it wasn't even written down. Allah was therefore saying that people were doing something that simply couldn't be done. That would make him a liar. What's more, Allah was speaking to an illiterate man - one incapable of reading.

"These [Jews] believe in it; and whoever disbelieves it are losers. Children of Israel, call to mind the special favor which I bestowed upon you, and that I [Allah] preferred you to all others and made you excel the nations." Muhammad was in a pickle. Without the Jews being Yahweh's chosen people, the prophets and scriptures upon which he based Islam lost their relevancy. If they were irrelevant, so was Islam.

Like so much of the Qur'an, this surah provides no intelligent transition between subjects. It has rambled on about god's inability to provide a sign, to telling us that Muhammad was a warner. It flip-flops from telling him not to follow the religion of the Jews to calling the Jews God’s chosen people. Then after condemning Yahshua's mission and crucifying Muhammad’s credibility in the process, it moves to a revisionist account of the Biblical patriarch Abraham. Qur'an 2:124 "And (remember) when Abraham's Lord tried him with (certain) commands, which he fulfilled: He said: 'I will make you an Imam [Islamic leader] to the Nations.' He pleaded: 'And also Imams from my offspring!' He answered: 'But My Promise does not include evil-doers.'" The nature of the trials, or commands, which Abraham allegedly fulfilled was not listed. Considering that the passage of these trials made Abraham the father of Islam - the Imam of the nations - the omission was serious. Not surprisingly, it sent the Muslim sages scurrying for answers. Sadly, what we just reviewed was the best they could do. The Noble Qur'an translators even include this Hadith: Bukhari:V7B72N779 "I heard the Prophet saying, 'Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra [religion of Abraham]: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the moustaches short, clipping the nails, and depilating the hair of the armpits.'" This "religion" can't be fixed. It needs to be discarded.

Every Biblical story quoted in the Qur'an was designed to make Muhammad’s unprophet-like behavior seem religious or to make Islamic rituals seem sane. The next verse was no exception. Qur'an 2:125 "Remember when We made the House a place of assembly for men and a place of safety; and the place Abraham stood to pray; and We covenanted with Abraham and Ishmael that they should sanctify My House for those who circumambulate it, use it as a retreat, bow down, prostrating themselves."

Qur'an 2:126 "And remember [This is an odd command. What are they remembering this from? The Bible doesn't say anything remotely like this, and no other scriptures refer to Abraham.] Abraham said: 'My Lord, make this a City of Peace, and feed its people with fruits, such of them as believe in Allah and the Last Day.'" Even this is odd. Muhammad was verbally attacked during the entire time he preached in Mecca. As a result, he attacked Mecca militarily at the end of his career, putting him in direct opposition to the patriarch's supposed prophecy.

"He said: 'As for those who reject, indulge them; soon I will compel them to the doom of the torment of Hell Fire, an evil destination!'" To compel is to induce or coerce. Why would God want to act like Satan and coerce someone into hell?

Qur'an 2:127 "Remember, Abraham and Ishmael raised the foundations of the House: 'Our Lord! Accept this service from us.'" While I realize that no one was writing this stuff down, and that a short pencil is more effective than a long memory, god and his prophet ought to be able to do better. Just two verses earlier Allah said that he had made the House. Next we learn: "'Our Lord, make of us Muslims, submissive to Your (will), and of our offspring a nation of Muslims, bowing to You; and show us our place for the celebration of rites.'" Abraham died 2,600 years before the first Muslim was conned into Islam. In fact, the Arabic word for Muslim wouldn't even be coined for twenty-six centuries.

Yet a nation of Muslims is how Muhammad viewed the world. The prophet saw our planet in two pieces - the Nation of Islam (called Dar us-Islam) and lands yet to submit, the House of War (called Dar us-Harb). And while Islam has been at war with itself for all of its thirteen centuries, it will continue to fight the House of War until we capitulate. Many in the Western media and most politicians claim that the war on terrorism is unlike any other because the terrorists come from many nations. Now you know the truth: the terrorists represent one nation - the Nation of Islam.

Qur'an 2:129 "Our Lord, raise up in their midst a Messenger from among them who shall recite to them Your revelations, and instruct them in the Book and in wisdom and make them grow." By the time the second surah was "revealed" Muhammad had fled Mecca for the safety of Medina. Now in close proximity with Jews, he had a problem. These folks were literate, and as a result, they were harder to fool. They undoubtedly told Muhammad that he couldn't be God’s final messenger because that role belonged to the Messiah. Moreover, there were hundreds of specific prophecies regarding the Messiah, none of which he met. So what do you suppose the wannabe Messiah did? Right. He made one up.

But for it to be believable, he had to revise Abraham first: Qur'an 2:130 "He who turns away from the religion of Abraham makes himself a fool with folly." Abraham did not have a religion. He had a relationship. There were no rituals, rites, prostrations, pilgrimages, or prescribed prayers. In fact, the word "religion" doesn't exist in the Torah. It can't be found even once in all of the Old Covenant. Qur'an 2:131 "When his Lord said to him, 'Be a Muslim.' he said: 'I submit [Islam] to the Lord of the worlds.'" Likewise, you won't find the words Muslim, submit, or Islam.

The revisionist Abraham said, "Our Lord, make us submissive [Islam] to You and make of our seed a nation [of Muslims]. And show us our ways of worship." If Abraham received scrolls from Allah and performed the Islamic rituals, he could not have asked, "Show me the ways of worship."

"You, only You, are the Relenting. Our Lord, raise up in their midst a messenger." You can almost hear Muhammad cry, "I'm that man." Jesus has been demoted and Abraham promoted so that Abe could vouch for the credentials of Muhammad and thereby silence the prophet's critics.

Muhammad believes that Allah chose Islam for Abraham and his sons, especially Jacob, from whom all Jews are descended. Qur'an 2:132 "And this was the legacy that Abraham left to his sons by Yah'qub (Jacob); 'Oh my sons! Allah has chosen the Faith for you - the true religion; then die not except in the faith of Islam as Muslims. He said to his sons: 'What will you worship after me.' They said: 'We shall worship your Ilah (God), the Ilah (God) of your fathers, of Abraham, Ishmael and Isaac, the one Ilah (God): To Him we submit in Islam.'" Why do you suppose Yahweh trifled with Judaism and Christianity if Abe were a Muslim? And could Abraham have referred to God as Allah if the name wouldn't be invented for more than twenty centuries? Even then, it was the proper name of a pagan rock idol in Arabia, not Israel. How do you suppose Yahweh's name could have been repeated 6,868 times in the Bible if his name were really Allah? And there is no way to weasel out of this predicament. Muslims scream that "Allah" is simply the Arabic word for "God," yet that assertion is in direct conflict with the Qur'an. In this verse the Arabic word for "God" (capital "G"), "Ilah," was used three times.

Alright, now that we've turned Jews into Muslims it's time to condemn them. Qur'an 2:134 "Those are people whose nation has passed away. They shall reap the fruit of what they did, They say: 'Become Jews or Christians if you would be guided.' Say (Muhammad): 'Nay! Only the Religion of Abraham the Hanif. He was not a Mushrikun [non-Muslim disbeliever].'" The Qur'an says nothing of the religion of Abraham. It only suggests prostrations and rituals - mindless drivel. Since the world's best-documented faiths are Judaism and Christianity, and their Bible introduced Abraham to the world, you'd think that Islam would at least try. But no, all we get is feeble justification for a sorry mix of pre-existing pagan rites.

"Hanifs" were monotheistic poets. While they inspired Islam’s first score of surahs, they were not Muslims. We will discuss them in upcoming chapters.

Qur'an 2:136 "Say (Muslims): 'We believe in Allah and that which is revealed to us and that which was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the (twelve Jewish) tribes, and that which Moses and Jesus received, and that which the prophets received from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and unto Him we have surrendered (in Islam).'" You'd think that after 1,400 years, some bright Muslim would ask, "What was revealed to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, and Jacob?" If Allah knows, why is he keeping it a secret? Or, why not ask, "If we Muslims shouldn't make any distinction between the revelations Moses and Jesus received and those claimed by Muhammad, why was Islam necessary?"

If they were without distinction this cannot be true: "If they believe as you believe they are rightly guided; but if they turn away they are in great opposition. Allah will suffice you against them." Allah says the revelations are identical - Judaism's, Christianity's, and Islam’s, and then he says "they are in great opposition."

There is some good news. The Islamic god was a self-indulgent fool: Qur'an 2:138 "(Our religion is) the Baptism of Allah: And who can baptize better than Allah?" Not only is Allah a Jew, he's a Baptist. And while that's embarrassing, the symbolism is deadly for Islam. Muslims don't baptize, and that's a problem if their religion is the Baptism of Allah - especially since he's the best Baptiser.

Baptism by water is the outward expression of having chosen Yahshua as one's savior. It is symbolic of receiving his Spirit - the spirit of Yahweh. While the Holy Spirit is something that the Qur'an both acknowledges and condemns, He, like the Torah, Gospels, and Yahshua, plays no part in Islam. Allah is a distant god. His spirit does not reside in man.

While we turned to this surah in an effort to connect Traditions regarding Abraham to Allah’s account in the Qur'an, we have hit a veritable goldmine of Islamic blunders. This may be the most grotesque of all. Qur'an 2:139 "Say (unto the People of the Scripture [Christians and Jews]): Will you dispute with us about Allah, seeing that He is our Lord and your Lord?" Muslims, in a desperate grope for credibility, are being told that Yahweh and Allah are the same god. It is hard to imagine a more vulgar lie. Yahweh and Allah are love and lust, redemption and punishment, personal and remote, brilliant and dimwitted, peace and terror. They are as different as their scriptures.

Yet this deception is essential to Islam. If Allah isn't Yahweh, Muhammad is a liar and the Qur'an is lunacy. There is no other justification for Muhammad’s reliance on Genesis and Exodus. Muslims must reconcile the irreconcilable, bridging the chasm between Yahweh's and Allah’s wholly divergent characters. It is a desperate battle for survival that Islam cannot win.

The infinitesimal chance Islam had of prevailing with this ridiculous assertion evaporated when the Dead Sea scrolls were discovered. The text and message on those uncorrupted scrolls rendered impossible the comprehensive corruption and conspiracy that would have been necessary to make the doctrines and gods similar, much less the same.

Qur'an 2:140 "Nay! Do you say that Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob and the Tribes were Jews or Christians? Say: Do you know better than Allah? Who is more unjust than those who conceal the testimony they received from Allah?" If this weren't so stupid it would be funny. Allah is saying that Christians and Jews call Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob and the Tribes, "Jews and Christians," as if they knew more about them than Allah. Well, apparently they do. Abraham wasn't strictly speaking, a Jew. He was a Chaldean from Ur as was his wife Sarah. Anyone who has bothered to read Genesis knows that. But Allah was illiterate, just like Muhammad. Reading Genesis was therefore beyond him. Ishmael was the bastard child of an Egyptian slave. He was expressly excluded from Yahweh's covenant with the Jews. No Jew or Christian would ever claim relations with him. Isaac, Abraham's miracle son, provided the link between Abraham and Jacob. Jacob was the father of the twelve tribes and was therefore a Jew - the Jew. And last time I checked, the tribes of Israel were Jews, not Christians. The first Christian wouldn't be born for twenty centuries.

By this time it should be abundantly clear - Allah wasn't God. The dark spirit of Islam wasn't even sane. Qur'an 2:141 "The fools among the people will say: 'What has turned them from the Qiblah [the direction Muslims face in prayer] to which they formerly observed [facing Jerusalem]?'" Following the Satanic Verses, Ka'aba worship was on the rocks, so Muhammad had Muslims pray to a substitute shrine - the only holy site in the Bible - the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. But that didn't last because the Jews began disputing his preposterous claims of prophethood. Something had to be done. The answer was simple enough. Muslims were ordered to turn away from Jerusalem and to bow toward the House that Allah-Adam-Abraham built.

"We appointed the Qiblah which you were used to, as a hard test for those who followed the Messenger. Indeed it was a momentous change, except to those guided by Allah." I don't suppose anyone bothered to ask why bowing one direction versus another in ritualistic prayer was such a tough test. I would think that twisting one's prayer blankie might be sufficient. Why go to all the trouble to twist the Torah?

Qur'an 2:144 "Turn your face in the direction of the sacred Mosque [the Ka'aba]. Wherever you are, turn your faces in that direction. The people of the Book know well that this revelation is the truth from their Lord." Allah is saying that the Jews and Christians know that the Ka'aba is of paramount importance to Judeo-Christianity. Further, he is protesting that the Jews and Christians have collaborated in a massive cover-up to keep the true importance of the pagan shrine a secret. Frankly, I am stunned that something this obviously false and foolish could be considered godly by anyone.

Implicit in this farce is that the Judeo-Christian focus on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem is bogus. For this to be true, the entire Bible, starting with Genesis 11 running through Revelation 22, would have to be fundamentally flawed, for virtually every page is rooted in the history of Israel, and focused on Jerusalem. To say that Jews and Christians conspired to artificially elevate the importance of Israel, Jerusalem, and the Temple at the expense of Mecca, a town that didn't even exist during the two thousand years the scriptures were being written - in all sixty-six books of the Bible - is ludicrous.

Yet the stakes are unimaginably high. If Allah’s contention is wrong, then Islam’s foundation is ripped asunder. All of the corrupted Biblical accounts in the world won't help. If the Islamic connection to the Hebrew prophets and patriarchs falters, every important aspect of Muhammad’s religion fails: Allah isn't god; Muhammad isn't a prophet. And if they aren't who they claim they are, they aren't worthy of anyone's prayers, allegiance, or soul.

Therein lies the tale - the ticking time bomb of Islam. There is no room for an Arab prophet with a wholly divergent message, especially one without miracles or prophecies, in the line of Hebrews. The last messenger of the scriptures is undeniably the Messiah, not Muhammad.

That gave the Messenger of Islam several enormous problems. He had to claim that the Messianic prophecies were corrupted and meaningless - an impossible task. He had to ignore the fact that the Messiah Yahshua fulfilled them - a fool's folly (one sadly shared by the Jews). Then he had to somehow distort Bible stories and characters to such an extent that it made his unprophet-like behavior and ridiculous pagan rites seem religious, rational, moral, and inspired. But that led to a new problem. How does one do that without debasing the faith upon which the new religion is based?

It can't be done - at least not rationally. But Islam has never been popular with rational people. It is like an acid, corroding everything it touches, eating away at the brain and heart. It corrupts men, turning them into unthinking, mindless murderers in pursuit of lustful pleasures. It causes Muslims to be so fearful of the truth, they threaten to kill anyone willing to expose their lie.

Muhammad wasn't finished telling his faithful that the Jews and the Christians had collaborated in the greatest hoax in all of recorded history. Qur'an 2:146 "The people of the Book recognize him as they know their own sons; but some of them conceal the truth which they themselves know." Muhammad’s "god" is saying on behalf of his "prophet" that the Jews recognized Muhammad as the Messiah but were keeping it a secret. He was evidently counting on everyone being illiterate and naïve. And judging by the numbers of people he fooled, he may have been right.

The trials and tribulations of Dishonest Abe, also known as a figment of Muhammad’s imagination, end where they began - by ripping off a well-documented Bible story. Tabari II:111 "Lot bin Haran bin Terah, son of Abraham's brother, and his people, the folks of Sodom, traveled from Babylon following their religion. They went to Syria as fugitives with Sarah. It is said that Terah, Abraham's father, went with them." Yes, Terah was Abe's dad, not Azar, like the Traditions have been insisting. And yes, they were close when they said that they left Babylon. It was actually Ur, a hundred miles south. And yes, the troop included Lot and Sarah. They were not, however, fugitives, they had no religion, and the people of Sodom were not with them. Lot would eventually live in Sodom, but that wouldn't occur for a couple of thousand miles and many years.

"Terah died. Abraham, Lot and Sarah went on to Syria and then to Egypt, which was then ruled by a Pharaoh named Sinan bin Al-wan bin Ubayd bin Uwayj bin Imlaq bin Lud bin Shem bin Noah. He was the brother of Dahhak/Nimrod, who had appointed him governor of Egypt." These boys would have been so much better off if they had just stuck with the Biblical account rather than drumming up this nonsense. Truth is, they would have been better off if they had just stuck with Judaism and never perverted it into Islam - and so would we.

"After this, Abraham, Lot and Sarah went back to Syria and settled in Palestine. Allah sent Lot to the people of Sodom. They were disbelievers in Allah and immoral. Allah said, 'You commit lewdness such as no creature before. You come into males, cut the roads, and commit abominations in your assemblies.'" [Qur'an 29:28] Allah, please, watch the language. They have a perfectly good word for that male thing. It’s called homosexuality. As for the lewdness, they have a word for that too. And even you should know it - as it was named after the town. But as for "cutting the roads," I'm at a loss.

Fortunately, Muslim sages are ever ready to enlighten us. Tabari II:112 "Allah’s statement, 'you cut the roa' means: When the traveler, the son of the road, passed by they would block the road and perform with him that ugly deed.... Some say that they used to shorten whoever passed by. Other say that they used to break wind in their assemblies, while some said that they used to have intercourse with each other there.... Some Islamic scholars agree, while others differ. The abomination was breaking wind." I wonder if that was why Allah taught Adam about "the fart and the little fart?" It may have been why Muhammad revealed this pearl in Bukhari's Book of Wudu: Bukhari:V1B4N139 "He asked Allah’s Messenger about a person who imagined to have passed wind during the Salat prayer. Allah’s Messenger replied: 'He should not leave his Salat unless he hears sound or smells something.'" You see, Islam can be tolerant.

Others say: "They would accost a rider and seize him and mount him," explains surah 29:28. Or: "Allah’s statement refers to the fact that no male jumped upon a male before the people of Lot." Then you have Muhammad’s version: "The Messenger of God said, 'And you commit abominations in your assemblies means they would cut off wayfarers and mock them, and that was the abomination that they committed.'" Horror of horrors! Being mocked was Muhammad’s curse in life. Virtually everyone he encountered berated him.

The Messenger had a lot to say about Lot. Although Lot never preached a day in his life and was the furthest thing from a prophet, the temptation to transform him into a mini-Muhammad was too great to pass up. Tabari II:115 "Lot called on them to worship Allah. By Allah’s command he tried to prohibit them from doing those things which Allah disliked such as brigandage, committing lewd acts, and entering males in the posteriors. Because they persisted, he threatened them with painful doom. They rejected his admonitions, saying to him 'Bring Allah’s doom upon us, if you are telling the truth!'" I could have sworn that we've heard this story before.

"At length Lot asked his Lord for help against them, since the matter was dragging on, as was their persistence in sinfulness. Then Allah - when he wanted to disgrace them and destroy them and help His Messenger Lot against them - sent Gabriel and two other angels. It had been said that the two other angels were Michael and Israfil." Every word of this was loaded, chosen specifically to distress Muhammad’s Meccan tormentors. "Mess with me and my god will get you."

Tabari II:120 "Gabriel picked up their land with his wing and turned it over. He lifted it so high the inhabitants of heaven heard the crowing of roosters and the barking of dogs. He turned them upside down and rained upon them stones of clay." [Qur'an 15:74]

The 15th surah says: "Thus did We turn it upside down, and rained down upon them stones of what had been decreed. Surely in this are signs for those who examine. And surely it is on a road that still abides. Most surely there is a sign in this for the believers. The dwellers of the Rock rejected the messengers."

Allah is daring us to use his depiction of Sodom as a proof of his divinity. But Sodom wasn't turned upside down, it wasn't stoned with clay, nor was it ever close enough to heaven for the angelic host to hear the roosters. And the roads have long since disappeared. We know that because archeologists have found Sodom, Gomorrah, and the other cities of the plain. And guess what? They are exactly where the Bible said they would be. They were destroyed exactly when the Bible said that they were destroyed. And yes, they were buried exactly how the Bible proclaimed - under brimstone. Once again, the Bible was precisely accurate and the Muhammad/Allah team couldn't even plagiarize it without burying themselves.

Some of the lowlights of the versions that follow include: Tabari II:121 "Gabriel spread out his wings and gouged out their eyes." "Then Allah took them to Syria." Which is odd because that's where we were told they were in the first place.

This next one is a hoot. There are more errors than sentences. "Gabriel seized its girdle, then snatched it up so high into the sky that the angels could hear their dogs. He threw rocks at the laggards, one after the other. There were three towns called Sodom that lay between Medina and Syria. It has been mentioned that there were four million people in the town." Four thousand, maybe. They all had different names, like Gomorrah, and they were unearthed on the shores of the Dead Sea.

Muhammad’s convoluted story of Lot is repeated a half dozen times in different surahs and that many times again in the Traditions. It’s no wonder it was the prophet's personal favorite. He had the opportunity to turn a nobody into a messenger whose people got pummeled because they mocked him.

We leave Volume II of Tabari with these stirring words, "O Messenger! How many books did Allah reveal? He said, 'One hundred and four books. To Adam He revealed ten leaves, to Seth fifty leaves, and to Enoch thirty leaves. To Abraham he revealed ten leaves and also the Torah, Gospel, the Zabur, and the Rurqan.'" Oops. Even Allah knows better. The Torah wasn't written until the time of Moses. But what makes this statement particularly lame is that eighty-five percent of the Torah chronicles the history of people who lived after Abraham died.

Tabari II:130 "I said, 'O Messenger! What were the books of Abraham.' He answered, 'They were all proverbs such as, 'O dominated, afflicted and deceived king! I did not send you to collect all the world, one part to another, rather I sent you so that I would not have to hear the cry of the oppressed.'" If they were all that feeble, it's little wonder no one other than the illiterate messenger ever read them.

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