Day 19 of being homeless: thoughts on the Bible.

Was reading some verses in the Bible about casting your pearls before swine, about being foolish and wise, about sorrow is better than laughter because it makes the heart stronger. I read about showing your light to the world and not hiding it. I read about vanity and all the vanities of life. I read ab out what you do unto others you do unto Christ. How Jesus won't know you if you aren't for him and treat the lowest of ones not like you would Him. And I contemplated about these aspects of the Word...

I have to say that I have a sexual addiction. My fiancee knows this well and she knows that my flesh is very lustful at times. I mention this because when you are homeless, your sexual urges become magnified and torment you in a way. I thought about how it doesn't profit me to be for the flesh, but I should be for the spirit. I try to be for God but I need more strength in not wanting sex with other women in fantasy all of the time. Usually I can control myself, but being around women all of the time in the real world is taking it's toll. The Bible was talking about when you are for the World you care about Worldly things but when you are for God you care for Spiritual things. How it doesn't profit you to work for the flesh, but it profits you to work for the Spirit. So yea, seeing big breasted women all day isn't good... lol.

I thought about casting your pearls before swine and how foolish it is. How you should be wise before God and such. But how do you know when to do Good and when to hold back? How do you know what is foolish and what is wise? How do you know what it means to shine your light for God? Do you go out of your way to shine your light? Or do you leave people alone who don't ask for help and shine it? What is wise and what is foolish to do regarding this? I thought about how sorrow is better than laughter but laughter doth like good medicine... Of course, without sorrow, without longsuffering, how do we ever grow? Adults with all their luxuries and gossip sound like babies anymore when you observe them. They have money, they have houses, yet are they really mature and wise? I don't think so. They lack the sorrow, the suffering, the wisdom of God it seems. I thought about what is vanity. What is pride. And shouldn't we be esteemed by our accomplishments? Is it wrong to feel good about what you do? What really is vanity? Is it only that which is shallow and doesn't produce good fruits which sustains? I thought about this a lot when I read about it... A lot of Christians don't live by treating others like they would Jesus. They claim that they aren't perfect and treats them like trash. And this shouldn't be so. Treating others like you would Jesus should be a paramount aspect of the Christian heart.

God has talked with us a lot before we became homeless, a lot during the first weeks when things were good, now we seem to be through a dry spell where faith matters the most. It's nice when God communicates with you through nature, through your heart, and through His divine ways; however, it's hard when you have to go without and lean on him while seeing no signs...

Oh wells, that is all for now. Hopefully I won't get myself into too much trouble :)

Take care,