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Daddy Issues: Can Women Who Have Great Dads Date Older Men?

- I love my dad. Dorky though it may be, he’s one of my favorite people and I can’t imagine my life would be as good with any other one. I do, however, have one complaint: really liking my dad has totally screwed me in the dating department.

Aside from the standard complaint that most of the morons I’ve gone out with just aren’t as likable as my dad, I’m also borderline incapable of dating much older men. I can’t help but make skeevy involuntary associations.

We all know that having a useless or absent father will often result in a mean set of daddy issues. But I’m also convinced that most women who’ve had great relationships with their dads have a difficult time dating much older men, even when said men are bizarrely compatible in spite of the age difference.

While some--like my mom--might say that this isn’t such a bad thing, I’m thoroughly convinced that every girl needs to have an Old Man stage. But every time I try to get mine started, I fail miserably, slinking away from those thirty to forty-year-olds right quick. Even when the guy is in his early thirties and thus not really old enough to be my dad unless he was particularly mature and super trashy, I can’t stop making the requisite comparisons between the guy and my actual dad.

And you know what? My dad’s got better hair. ... Read full article »
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Top Opinion

  • Albedo 9.0 2009/06/18 00:37:27 (edited)
    Albedo 9.0
    There are girls who like us older guys. There are many reasons why younger girls date older guys. The number one answers in my experience is maturity and resources which also give her a sense of security. Then there are the daddy issues and I know most haven't really thought of this but except for youthful looks older guys are just better men all the way around. America is more hung up about age then the rest of the world tho. Although I have dated girls 20 years younger than me I wouldn't anymore. They are to needy, selfish and uninteresting in general so I've chose my baby Ariana who is 13 years younger than me.lol

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  • yenom 2009/06/23 07:43:19
    Not so much about age as it is about maturity level. Nice article, makes us think. Married 26 years in May, hubby is 2yrs. older than me. Older men I dated- I felt were bossy. It was also a culture gap. I liked going out dancing , they liked staying in for the evening. I wasn't at that point in my life back then. But each to her own. I have a friend who was 23 when she married a 50yr. old Admiral. They've been married 22 yrs. this year and are very happy and devoted to each other.
  • Mr.UN5T@BL3 2009/06/22 01:57:39
    Sounds like you can have daddy issues even if you have a great daddy.

    No one is forcing you to date older men so you have to wonder why she keeps trying in spite of the "skeevy involuntary associations" Hmmm... what do you figure that implies? How does she see her daddy when she thinks of sex?

    I know I don't think of my mommy when I see a woman naked. At least not since I was 12.
  • dead twig 2009/06/20 02:06:28
    dead twig
    I'm close to my dad, and I have to say, it's like physically impossible for me to be attracted to guys more than ten years older than me.
  • Hildy 2009/06/19 14:20:48
    You young girls listen to what I have to say. I'm a 50 year old woman married to a man who is now 70. We met when I was 36 and he 56. I've always been attracted to older men. I did have a fantastic relationship with my father and I do think there is something to be said about that whole thing. But the bottom line is this...you're attracted to whom you're attracted to...why think it to death?

    The reason I like older men is that they APPRECIATE YOU MORE. If they have daughters from previous marriages, they tend to treat you better. They've been around..they know a good thing when they see it! So my advice is STOP ASKING OTHER PEOPLE'S ADVICE!
  • rhonda Hildy 2009/11/24 21:48:46
    You would think that but the guy im dating is 39 an im 28 he has a 8 year old an i have 2 girls as well he trys to think he is helping me an im not trying to complain but i dont like being force to do things an Told what do do he just tries to menepulate me into doing things my degraiding me a that just pisses me off an makes me not love him as much an pushes me away...im confued
  • Hildy rhonda 2009/11/25 05:37:49
    If he manipulates you and degrades you and pushes you away...WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU WITH HIM? You don't choose a man and then find reasons to love him...if you can't accept him exactly the way he is right now, dump him. It will never get better. There are women who like to be manipulated and told what to do. Let him find one of them. You go and find a man to be a good Father to your children and STOP HAVING CHILDREN until you are married.
  • lucky 2009/06/19 12:25:44
    ughh.. im thinking you have some serious issues. sounds like you have a crush on your dad which is just as messed up as someone looking for a father figure.

    Im married to someone 15yrs older than me but my relationship with my father is just fine. I married my current husband for a lot of different good reasons but none of them had to do with my father.
  • liNDyliCiOUS 2009/06/19 08:46:12
    I have an great relationship with my dad most the time and I still have great relationships with older and same age men.
  • danceprincess 2009/06/19 05:23:53
    if you mean at the same time being married to your own husband then no. and if not being married still dont unless you KNOW your in love.
  • moondancer627 2009/06/19 03:24:52 (edited)

    What do you mean dating older guys and how old are you?
    I'm 43 and have dated one guy my dad's age. 60+ , It didn't last long, since I wandered what is going to happen when I'm his age and he's in diapers, although I did like the fact that he has a secure retirement and could take me places and buy me things all the time. Another 60 year old was interested in me and he said to me" well if I don't spend my $ on you who will I spend it on?" Most of the guys in our hiking club are over 50 so unfortunately that's where I would meet them. I did meet my husband in the hiking club and he's 10 years younger than I am, so opposite thinking I am hoping he can be there when I'm in diaper. LOL...
  • Baron 2009/06/18 23:06:01
  • hart 2009/06/18 20:51:37
    um, you might want to go see a shrink.
  • turkey pepperoni 2009/06/18 20:23:30
    turkey pepperoni
    i've always dated older men and have a great dad. boys are idiots. my age + 3yrs puts guys as a good level.

    older guys have more experience, play fewer games, are more secure in their skin, and they know what they want out of a relationship.
  • CALVIN BENET 2009/06/18 19:51:19
  • Marlow ~ Let There Be Light 2009/06/18 17:11:37
    Marlow ~ Let There Be Light
    I don't see anything wrong with women not wanting older men. I don't think this is much of an issue.
  • ♥♥Hearts♥♥Of♥♥Hearts♥♥ 2009/06/18 15:57:00 (edited)
    I would considor my biological father to be absent, But I have God to fill the spot of my father and he's the greatest father in the world. I don't have to date an older man to fill the spot, because its already taken.
  • Rico 2009/06/18 14:40:07
    it is really up to the people in the realationship if they want this, and if the lady is of age then it is fine with me!!!!!!!
  • BienvenuJDC 2009/06/18 12:30:24
    I'm not going to let my daughter date until she's 35...then it will be okay if she wants to date a man 10 years older than her.
  • E.G. 2009/06/18 08:27:16
    No comment. After all, I love my Dad, but only dated women... *grin*
  • JJ ♠ one-eyed sodajerk™ 2009/06/18 06:11:27
    JJ ♠ one-eyed sodajerk™
    Daddy issues?

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2007/01/24 04:53:33

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