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Crash course: The Face Of A Bully

Marie/M2M2K™-#1ConservativeGuru 2011/11/16 18:46:52
We see a lot of talk on here about bullies. I found an interesting description someone posted on another site that depicts the mind and mannerisms of a "serial bully." I do not have or know the original author, but I still thought this was very interesting.

The serial bully:

is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment

has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act

excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive

uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)

is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance.

is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic

relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon

is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly

cannot be trusted or relied upon

is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old

is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy

exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse

in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy

is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability

is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack
attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity

is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability

undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask

is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them

may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to hold them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organizations in pursuance of the vendetta

is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account

is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt)

poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions

is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all

often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others

is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation

is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty

is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire

is always a taker and never a giver

is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)

often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus

often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself

is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication

sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic

Responsibility

The serial bully appears to lack insight into his or her behaviour and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the bully knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behaviour and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.
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Top Opinion

  • betz 2011/11/16 19:07:16
    betz
    +15
    It's so very sad that today so many young people bully. What is even sadder is these same young people turn into adults who continue with these same behaviors. As we age we do become better equipped to handle these bullying techniques. Many young children cannot. Hence...suicide, cutting and low self esteem takes over. It's a tragedy.
    Every adjective and phrase used in this piece fits the bully mentality to a T.

    And yes these adults are on this site daily.

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  • Sawdust_128 2013/09/13 02:26:46
  • moorrbrt1 "In God we Trust" 2011/12/20 17:20:40
    moorrbrt1 "In God we Trust"
    I was bullied a lot as a child. Since I've been grown, my mission has been, not to allow myself to be bullied and to watch myself to make sure I'm not being a bully myself.
  • Soundstorm 2011/12/05 00:42:03
    Soundstorm
    +1
    I do believe this article just perfectly described the mainstream news media which most people rely on.
  • Phyl *In God i Trust* 2011/12/04 22:04:26
    Phyl *In God i Trust*
    +1
    Wonderful post .I believe you hit it head on with this one.
  • Cat 2011/12/01 19:11:40
    Cat
    +3
    GREAT POST MARIE! You are someone who would have a a great deal of knowledge in the area of bullies. You've never backed down from a threat or from a political stance that you knew was GOOD FOR OUR GREAT COUNTRY! Which makes You a PATRIOT and a Target. For some reason Patriots have a target painted on their back. You have fought on some many good sides and stuck up for so many great friends. Once again, great post.
  • RosaG 2011/11/19 00:14:33
    RosaG
    +4
    Good post.
  • Bob™ the Union Ironworker 2011/11/18 17:33:41
    Bob™ the Union Ironworker
    +4
    In my over 4 years here on Sodahead, I have seen so many bullies, it is ridiculus, over 63 pages of them blocked. It is okay to disagree, or to attack a comment but not a person. I have even had fake accounts made using my sons picture and calling him homosexual, which would be fine if it were true. Marie knows me, I may argue but I don't bully.
  • Lady Whitewolf 2011/11/18 12:41:45
    Lady Whitewolf
    +5
    I have to agree with Paige.... ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT! Bullies were never made to face and own up to their bad behavior and were always the pampered ones.
  • Paige 2011/11/18 02:39:55
    Paige
    +7
    In essence; arrested development. They never fully mature, no matter how old s/he gets. They then will pass the behavior onto their children and they will become either bullies or victims. The serial bully will use others to his/her advantage, and always come out smelling like a rose while others become the fall guy. The serial bully has no problem with this, but cries "foul" if he or she is caught in their own deceit.
  • Lady Wh... Paige 2011/11/18 12:42:11
    Lady Whitewolf
    +3
    Well said!
  • Paige Lady Wh... 2011/11/18 14:16:06
    Paige
    +4
    Thank you!
  • Lady Wh... Paige 2011/11/18 20:49:19
    Lady Whitewolf
    +3
    : - ) !
  • texasred 2011/11/18 00:55:03
    texasred
    +6
    I wish I could say the only bullies on here are Libs. Unfortunately, we Conservatives have a few of our own.
  • Marie/M... texasred 2011/11/18 17:36:32
  • texasred Marie/M... 2011/11/18 21:33:11
    texasred
    +3
    "...don't know there's a difference between "Libertarian" and "Liberal." Those are the operative words!!
  • BoomLover 2011/11/17 15:46:26
    BoomLover
    +7
    Thanks, Marie/M2M2K! You just described the "glorious leader" of this once free Nation........good job, Thanks.
  • Marie/M... BoomLover 2011/11/17 20:17:40
  • Annie~Pro American~Pro Israel 2011/11/17 11:28:38 (edited)
    Annie~Pro American~Pro Israel
    +8
    Excellent information...... Sound like a couple of nursing professors I had. Also, fits Obama to a T !
  • Marie/M... Annie~P... 2011/11/17 20:17:28
  • Anna E 2011/11/17 02:51:28
    Anna E
    +7
    In other words, a bully is a person displaying most or all the the signs of antisocial personality disorder.

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/hea...
  • Marie/M... Anna E 2011/11/17 20:17:18
  • CourtneyyyCakes;) 2011/11/17 02:04:38
  • betz Courtne... 2011/11/17 22:55:25
    betz
    +4
    May I aks what your image means, Courtney?
  • Lady Wh... betz 2011/11/18 12:42:57
    Lady Whitewolf
    +3
    The bullies are always the ones to CRY when they get called on the carpet!
  • betz Lady Wh... 2011/11/18 12:50:06
    betz
    +4
    Gotcha!!
  • Deb 2011/11/17 01:31:43
  • Marie/M... Deb 2011/11/17 20:16:57
  • Deb Marie/M... 2011/11/17 23:20:51
    Deb
    +3
    Have to admit, I am proud of my sons, they never took crap from bullies, and in HS my oldest got word that a guy he knew but wasn't exactly friends with was threatened with an arse beating...so.....My Son stepped in front of him....and dared him to hit the guy...they are friends to this day..the victim to be and my son
  • uguess 2011/11/17 00:15:28
  • Soundstorm uguess 2011/12/05 00:57:08
    Soundstorm
    +1
    National civilian security force eh? Will they be wearing spiffy uniforms and marching on Jewish owned businesses? I'd be a little concerned if professor Obama wasn't such a pencil necked wimp and Eric Holder was such a clueless stooge. Pretty telling where he stands though.
  • Lee The Hybrid Snowflake 2011/11/17 00:12:24
    Lee The Hybrid Snowflake
    +9
    I hate bullys!
  • Marie/M... Lee The... 2011/11/17 20:16:41
  • Karen E 2011/11/16 23:51:07
    Karen E
    +5
    my sisters donna and beverly are just like that, i have as little to do with them as i possibly can. their children are closer to me than them, sad really. they may shock me at times, but i do not judge them as their mothers do and they know i can keep a confidence.
  • Marie/M... Karen E 2011/11/17 20:16:23
  • Karen E Marie/M... 2011/11/17 23:47:15
    Karen E
    +3
    marie i am the fortunate one, those kids really need a caring mother. just glad i am there for them. donna never had time, beverly was and still places men above her daughters. my daughters and i have been close, though they left me speechless a few times. amy was shocked at the way donna's daughter talks about her at times. with donna it is a control game , beverly tries the shame game on hers. makes me chuckle at times- they were surprised i drank, fought, and pulled pranks when i was younger. i love them like my own, the sisters are ashamed of mine because i am poor.
  • angelbaby 2011/11/16 23:04:18
    angelbaby
    +8
    Omg!! That is one messed up personality..
  • Marie/M... angelbaby 2011/11/17 20:15:12
  • ~ The Rebel ~ 2011/11/16 21:21:30
    ~ The Rebel ~
    +12
    Excellent blog Marie. But, might I add that the bully of today appears to be egged on by people with visions of grandeur?
  • Marie/M... ~ The R... 2011/11/17 20:15:32
  • Freeranger 2011/11/16 21:11:23
    Freeranger
    +12
    You mean like this??
    angry al gore
    raham emanuel
    james carville

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