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Could you ever be with someone who has been in prison?

~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 21:20:48
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my boyfriend has been out of prison for about 5 years now. he served a 71/2 year sentance.my family is kind of skeptical about it, but i don't see any problem with him. do you guys think you could date someone who has been locked up before?
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  • soper 2008/04/30 19:10:38
    Yes
    soper
    unless he is in prison for hurting someone, or abusing someone, or raping someone.... (you get the picture) If he is in there because of a wrong that he did that he is sorry for...and he will not go down that road again... ( Is this the guy you were talking about having a baby with on
    that other poll?)
  • HeartBeat 2008/03/06 16:02:17
    Undecided
    HeartBeat
    +1
    well it all depends on the situation....
  • luvche 2008/02/29 04:49:49
    Undecided
    luvche
    +1
    I guess it really depends. How long ago was it, and did you research him enough to find out if he has a pattern of bad behavior? (as in, have you run a criminal background check on him? You can do it without him knowing). Honestly, someone can say "oh, I went and did my time and I changed" or "it was because the other guy turned states evidence on me". The last one is really popular. But ask around. Does it seem the guy is just always at the wrong place at the wrong time? Does he swear he just has bad luck and "really tries" to do good and has "real goals" for the future. Is his past checkered with run-ins with court (even "petty" stuff)?. Then I would say run far and fast. For every person that swears they are are on "right path" now....there are tons that always were on the right path.
    I now run background check on potential boyfriends and dates. Really. I have been screwed over twice by guys who have had even just a few weeks county jail time. All who swear they were "young and stupid" and know better now. Usually you find old patterns die hard. But if it truly was a one time situation, you should weigh what it was and what actions he takes to stay "good"
  • ~BOOGERS~ luvche 2008/02/29 14:33:53
    ~BOOGERS~
    thank you for your advice....i can see change in him and i trust him with my life....but you did give some good advice and i'm going to try and follow up on them.
  • luvche ~BOOGERS~ 2008/03/01 08:18:02
    luvche
    +1
    Girl, if you only knew my drama with my two ex-husbands. I don't wish it on anyone. Now I am super careful...and realize it is NOT crazy to be that way!
    Good luck, sweetie!
  • pitbullmomma raccoonsista! 2008/02/29 02:53:36
    Undecided
    pitbullmomma raccoonsista!
    +1
    It depends on what they were locked up for.
  • fisher 2008/02/29 00:59:41
    Undecided
    fisher
    +1
    really depends if i knew them before hand or why or just if they scare me a little bit
  • ►Cesar◄ 2008/02/29 00:41:22
    Yes
    ►Cesar◄
    +1
    Depends on what they did
  • ~BOOGERS~ ►Cesar◄ 2008/02/29 14:31:52
    ~BOOGERS~
    armed robbery.
  • toonicetammy 2008/02/29 00:03:10 (edited)
    Yes
    toonicetammy
    +1
    Yes I can and have.......although, I hate to say that most people who've been in trouble with the law, usually end up in trouble again. I'd like to say that in my experience it was exactly opposite of that, but I'd be lying. But hey.....to each their own and if you like and trust this guy, then you shouldn't hold it against him that he has done time. Just be aware of what's going on.....at all times. the first hint of trouble brewing, walk away.....save yourself the time and trouble that is sure to follow that situation! Hope all goes well! Good luck!
  • ~BOOGERS~ toonice... 2008/02/29 14:31:44
    ~BOOGERS~
    thank you....
  • Linda 2008/02/28 23:33:25
    Yes
    Linda
    +1
    I would never be with someone criminall but if the person changes then I have no problem with his/her past.
  • t-oryn 2008/02/28 23:19:32
    Yes
    t-oryn
    Yes as long as the person has made an effort to change himself and has proved that on more than one occassion and still continues to prove it. my step mom married my dad while he was still in prison. my dad spent 10 years in prison. after he was released the last time my step mom pretty much helped kick him in line and my dad finally decided he didnt want to go back to prison and has stayed out of trouble since and has completed everything he needs to. my dad is a fairly successful man now. my dad is a head foreman for a big contruction company.
  • t-oryn t-oryn 2008/02/28 23:20:19
    t-oryn
    +1
    also my dad has been out of prison and out of trouble for over 15 years.
  • ~BOOGERS~ t-oryn 2008/02/29 14:30:56
    ~BOOGERS~
    that is really good...i know all of you are really proud of him....hopefully archie will do the same and make something of hisself.
  • Becca 2008/02/28 21:44:54
    Undecided
    Becca
    +1
    I have before and it didn't work out. I like to surround myself with positive people that want to do good in their lives. You are as good as the company you keep. I guess it would depend on what they were charged with also. I am not really interested in dating someone out of prison though.
  • ~BOOGERS~ Becca 2008/02/28 21:54:12
    ~BOOGERS~
    i can understand where your coming from...but if he is changed and is trying to do better does that make a difference?
  • Becca ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 22:04:38
    Becca
    +1
    If you are willing to take that chance with someone then that is your decision. what did he do time for?

    People don't change their behavior just because they did time. I honestly believe that a very small amount of prisoners actually change and honestly try to better them selves. I think it is risky and it depends on what he was in for
  • Becca ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 22:05:49
    Becca
    +1
    Another thought......abuse victims say that their abusers have changed and that they are trying.....does that make it ok?
  • ~BOOGERS~ Becca 2008/02/29 14:29:36
    ~BOOGERS~
    +1
    yeah i see what you are saying. he went to jail for armed robbery...i think he is trying his best to change because he is not hanging around any of the same people and he has stopped all the drama and stuff that is constantly going on with him.....but like i said if he goes back than hell no i'm done with his ass.

    oh yeah and he went to jail for armed robbery.
  • Becca ~BOOGERS~ 2008/03/03 17:12:21
    Becca
    +1
    I wouldn't let him have a gun either. I just think that armed anything is pretty hardcore. I could never pull a gun on someone no matter what the intent just because I would never want to put someone through that. I have had it done to me and it isn't cool and I lost every thing.
  • ~BOOGERS~ Becca 2008/03/03 18:15:22
    ~BOOGERS~
    +1
    well i mean he hunts and stuff like that, and yeah he has a couple of guns but like i said i trust him with my life and everything so i really don't worry about that....i agree with you that it takes someone who has a lot of rage or whatever you want to call it built up inside of them to do that to someone.....i'm sorry you had to go through that and i hope that you never do again.....
  • Becca ~BOOGERS~ 2008/03/03 18:17:49
    Becca
    +1
    thank u. I hope things work out well for you guys
  • driven girl lnf 2008/02/28 21:36:33
  • ~BOOGERS~ driven ... 2008/02/28 21:53:32
    ~BOOGERS~
    +1
    may i ask why?
  • driven ... ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 21:56:09
  • ~BOOGERS~ driven ... 2008/02/28 22:03:16
    ~BOOGERS~
    +1
    fair enough...
  • . 2008/02/28 21:33:50
    Yes
    .
    +1
    I did...and he went back...sry, but 5 yrs in prison has to have some after effects on a person..just be careful
  • ~BOOGERS~ . 2008/02/28 21:53:22
    ~BOOGERS~
    +1
    oh well trust me if he ever goes back than i'm done with him....thanks though bonbon
  • . ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 22:55:06
    .
    +1
    be strong! and until he proves anyone wrong, you have every right to be with him
  • ~BOOGERS~ . 2008/02/29 15:15:35
    ~BOOGERS~
    +1
    thank you bonbon you always know what to say and how to make me feel better.
  • . ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/29 15:19:25
    .
    +1
    experience! lol..unfortunately a lot of it! hahah
  • TiffanyBelle 2008/02/28 21:27:51
    Undecided
    TiffanyBelle
    +1
    depends on what for.... like no insurance while driving or suspended license or accessory to a crime (wrong place wrong time) sure... murder, animal cruelty, bank robbery - not so much.

    If your b/f has learned the errors of his ways then he should be given a chance but your family is only looking out for you. Try talking w/ them and asking what they're concerns are w/ him there too... open discussion can put some of their fears to rest.
    Best of luck w/ you either way!!!
  • ~BOOGERS~ Tiffany... 2008/02/28 21:52:04
    ~BOOGERS~
    thank you so much...he went to jail for armed robbery but he has changed...i will take hed to your advice though. thanks
  • Tiffany... ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 22:03:05
    TiffanyBelle
    you're very welcome, anything to help :-)
  • GEMINII : queen of hope 2008/02/28 21:27:18
    Undecided
    GEMINII : queen of hope
    +1
    it really depends on what he did
  • ~BOOGERS~ GEMINII... 2008/02/28 21:50:41
    ~BOOGERS~
    armed robbery...
  • GEMINII... ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 21:52:16
    GEMINII : queen of hope
    +1
    i believe in giving someone second chances
  • ~BOOGERS~ GEMINII... 2008/02/28 22:03:39
    ~BOOGERS~
    so do i and i just hope he dosen't mess this one up.
  • GEMINII... ~BOOGERS~ 2008/02/28 22:44:47
    GEMINII : queen of hope
    +1
    lets keep the fingers crossed good luck!

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