CHILDREN: if a MAN fathers children, and the woman didnt tell him about the child, is she, "right" not to tell him or "hey its her body ,its her choice?"

Happened to me last year, got served with paternity papers October 11th, 2011 - he turned 18 October 25th, 2011. The woman who gave birth and I had protected, consentual sex valentines day weekend 1993. She came to me in June of 1993 said she was pregnant and I was the father. I supported her even after I met the love of my life in July of 1993. She wanted the whole package, I told her I would be there for the child but there was no love between her and I. She left the state a month later, only got a phone call in late September of 93 telling me she had gone into labor and I needed to get to Texas. My girlfriend at that time who is now my wife of 17 years told me to do the math on the paternity. Being under the impression that a child born in later September had a good chance of not being mine fathered in February I stopped sending money and asked that paternity be established. She and her family sent nasty letters, bombed my pager with hatefull messages and called at all hours of the night. Needless to say, I went 18 years thinking she had been looking for a baby daddy that wasn't me. I never tried to hide, she was given all my contact information several times - full name, SSN, DOB, employer, ect. She chose to keep me out of my sons life until two weeks before the statue of limitations to establish paternity expired. DNA proved the child was biologically mine, she came after me for 18 years of back child support, medical dental and "other" expenses for 18 years. Over the past year I have been treated like a criminal by the child support enforcement agency, had liens put on everything I own. Trying to get to know a man who has been told his entire life I was dead is going to take a long time. You should NEVER hide paternity from the father. It is a disservice to your child and dishonest to the father. I fully support a woman's right to chose (pro-choice) but if you chose to keep the baby you must ensure that paternity is established.