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Can you love someone but not be in love with them?

Scarlett48 2008/10/11 18:37:27
Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
No, you either love them or you don't
I think............
You!
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My husband and I argue about this all the time. Because I believe you can love someone and not be in love with them. He says "you either love them or you don't" he believes it is just a cop out women use like men use the term I need some space. What do you think?
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  • ⚜Ellen⚜ ☼True American Patr... 2008/11/20 01:08:56 (edited)
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    ⚜Ellen⚜ ☼True American Patriot ☼
    +3
    Yes! you can love someone and Not be 'in love" with them. i've done that for, far too long.... and now, i just don't. i think it depends on the cicumstances though...
    if you flirt and do new things to spice a marriage up, show eachother respect, support eachother and say "i love you" everyday... i think it would bring the "in love" feeling back. time can make a marriage blah.... past hurts can damage them, but they can be repaired. maybe not 100%, but enough that you're not totally miserable forever and always. continuous hurts just ruin any chance of repair.

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  • Brian Kirchgessner 2013/01/04 01:54:00
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Brian Kirchgessner
    Yes, absolutely. I've been in a similar situation for the past few months. One of my best friends is female, and honestly, I had once asked her out because I was confused about this exact thing. We agreed that we didn't want to risk our friendship, because that's what matters most to me, but I still deeply care about her, and love her, without wanting any form of sexual attraction. It's completely possible.
  • barbie 2009/02/15 13:27:43 (edited)
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    barbie
    I myself, am in that situation now.. we share a lot of the same passions, goals, etc. and its hard because I'm not sexually attracted to him and I don't lust for him at all.. however, he's given me the most orgasms out of any previous relationship because he's more giving than wanting to get himself off especially since I like to be in the dark with him. Problem now is.. he's starting to question why I'm not enthustiastic or or wanting to turn him on..
  • Scarlett48 barbie 2009/02/15 15:27:16
    Scarlett48
    Yes, that is a problem sounds like a great guy. It always seems to happen that we never fall for the good ones. Which really has nothing to do with them it is us and if it is not there it is not there. Just tell him it is a sexual relationship and nothing more.
  • michele barbie 2012/02/13 01:50:56
    michele
    +3
    I am in this situation now I have dated this guy for five years waiting on him for the past two to except my hand in marriage he didn't I left and met this wonder man we dated four months he showed me how a man needed to treat a woman within that time but ol boy came around after I moved on and wanted to change so I gave him a third chance seems like he change but I am not feeling the love I had before I love him but not in Iove with him we are getting married in july but I really don't know if I want to because I do llove the other guy.
  • ShadowHeart 2008/12/20 00:40:10
  • qtleanne 2008/12/11 01:24:00
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    qtleanne
    What it means is you can love someone but it doesnt mean you are IN love with them. Im not talking about having love for your family or whatever, but for example you love your patner as you care for them but sometimes people fall out of love for each other therefore your not in love with them anymore...
  • Scarlett48 qtleanne 2008/12/12 05:33:47
    Scarlett48
    See that is what I mean. I don't mean the love for your children or brothers, sisters or parents. I am talking about your partner. You can fall out of love with them. I think that loving someone and being in love are two different things. Thank you for understanding what I am talking about.
  • ⚜Ellen⚜ ☼True American Patr... 2008/11/20 01:08:56 (edited)
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    ⚜Ellen⚜ ☼True American Patriot ☼
    +3
    Yes! you can love someone and Not be 'in love" with them. i've done that for, far too long.... and now, i just don't. i think it depends on the cicumstances though...
    if you flirt and do new things to spice a marriage up, show eachother respect, support eachother and say "i love you" everyday... i think it would bring the "in love" feeling back. time can make a marriage blah.... past hurts can damage them, but they can be repaired. maybe not 100%, but enough that you're not totally miserable forever and always. continuous hurts just ruin any chance of repair.
  • Scarlett48 ⚜Ellen⚜... 2008/11/20 05:09:50
    Scarlett48
    +2
    Thanks for your answer. My husband says it is a cop out for women.
  • Divided States of America 2008/10/15 01:54:22
    I think............
    Divided States of America
    Based on the content of the question asked,If you need space you might not be with the right person.Most relationships are based on physical attraction,and when that fades [which it will for most ] you'll have to deside if you can stand eachother.I think when it's true love you can't wait to meet your partner and share your thoughts and feelings with them.
  • Remarkable 2008/10/14 16:03:23
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Remarkable
    I totally think this is possible, the person you love may not be compatible when it comes to your preferences of what it takes to fall in love.
  • *~Amelie~* 2008/10/13 19:50:40
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    *~Amelie~*
    it is totally possible- you love your parents/siblings but you're not IN love with them like you are your partner. i LOVE my best friend and i tell her, but im not IN love with her like i am my fiance....
  • ErnieRamos 2008/10/13 16:53:41
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    ErnieRamos
    Love is a word to describe a feeling. Take that word away and then try to describe that particular feeling. That should tell you how you feel about them.
  • infinityorzero 2008/10/13 05:02:29
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    infinityorzero
    We need more words. We've got this one word to describe a whole constellation of feelings. I love my children. I love poetry. I love home-grown tomatoes. I love my ex-wife.
    Clearly I feel differently about my children, poetry, home-grown tomatoes, and my ex-wife. But I'm stuck with this one measly word to describe my feelings.
    The Greeks were on the right path with philia: friendship, brotherhood, eros: passionate, romantic, storge: familial, parental, agape: unconditional goodwill.

    We need more words for the different kinds of love. A word for "in love" and words for all the other kinds too.
  • SodaBrain 2008/10/12 18:23:43
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    SodaBrain
    Don't vote for OB:
  • Haku 2008/10/12 17:04:03
    I think............
    Haku
    You can love someone and that person not be the "one."
  • Carole 2008/10/12 16:41:33
  • skittlesej 2008/10/12 15:51:45
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    skittlesej
    There's a difference I think. Like I love my best friend, but I'm not in love with her. Or I love my brother, but not in love with him. I'm not actually in love with anyone right now.
  • Gorky 2008/10/12 15:33:15
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Gorky
    There is just so many types of love..........The love for your parents is different then the love for a sibling............you can love someone and not be in love because of the particular type of love that you may have for that person.............Your love for your friends is not that of the love you have for a significant other.
  • Repetition= Father of Learning 2008/10/12 15:00:28
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Repetition= Father of Learning
    their very different things.
  • Elaine~!*♥suicidalprep♥*!~ 2008/10/12 13:53:40
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Elaine~!*♥suicidalprep♥*!~
    being in love with someone is way different than loving someone!
  • Blairwitch 2008/10/12 12:02:11 (edited)
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Blairwitch
    Being "in love" speaks of romantic love, usually infatuation, which unfortunatley doesn't usually last very long (because it is a great feeling) but loving someone means you love them for everything they are and accept imperfections, quirks, whatever. And of course, there are all the different types of love. I mean, I love my mom, but I wouldn't say I was in love with her.
  • Maria 2008/10/12 10:27:24
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Maria
    yes i love u loads
  • Again 2008/10/12 08:01:18
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Again
    because sometimes you just care about the person like a friend or family member, you would be there for them but not with them
  • Smarter, then you! 2008/10/12 07:57:00
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Smarter, then you!
    You can also love someone and not like them. Example...I love my sister, but she's a real psycho, so I don't like her very much as a person. But, I love her.
  • Darkest Burning Star 2008/10/12 06:30:17
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Darkest Burning Star
    "In love" involves love plus infatuation or, sometimes, obsession. At least that's how I define it.
  • 아만다 ♥ AMANDA 2008/10/12 06:26:07
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    아만다 ♥ AMANDA
    I love my Dad, I am not in love with him; I love my Mom, I am not in love with her; I love my sister, I am not in love with her either.... The same thing goes for everyone else in my family. Not to mention, my very close friends. I love them and care about them, but I am not in love with them and wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them.
  • realistic one 2008/10/12 06:00:26 (edited)
    I think............
    realistic one
    I think you can love anyone. Loving your father and mother is a love such as respect and gratitude for what they have done for you and their wisdom and advice and always being there for you but not a true love. You can love a female friend in ways such as caring for her and always being there for her but not a physical love. Your companion or soulmate you love in all encompassing ways where there is nothing you can't tell them, they cherish you and you them and you care for them in all aspects of their lives and have trust and commitment to their well being. There is a difference
  • tanzy 2008/10/12 05:57:44
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    tanzy
    You can love your family or pets or friends and not be "in love" with them. They are two different things.
  • ??? 2008/10/12 05:36:06
  • Mrs.Nick Jonas...*Poned* 2008/10/12 05:21:05
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Mrs.Nick Jonas...*Poned*
    why not?! like ur mom/dad!! u love them but ur not in love with them--so why not with other people 2?!?!?
  • MaMaJ 2008/10/12 03:54:57
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    MaMaJ
    I love my children and Grandson and I am in love with my Husband
  • chiglet - Daedric Sigil Mag... 2008/10/12 03:50:06
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    chiglet - Daedric Sigil Mage, Smirotiel
    there IS a difference. I love my freinds, I love my mom and dad. But I am NOT *in* love with them. Being *in* love is much deeper, more profound, and many times has the occurance of a physical side effect (sex). simple love is more of a warm fuzzy caring thing. Though it can develop into being *in* love
  • Suz-GOODBYE FRIENDS-I just ... 2008/10/12 03:19:03
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Suz-GOODBYE FRIENDS-I just can't handle crazy people anymore!!
    Absolutely. Huge difference, and you will know it when you feel it.
  • Em 2008/10/12 03:11:01
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Em
    A lot of people confuse infatuation with love. Being in love is getting from "one happy photograph to the next". Surviving what goes on in between is how you know.
  • masonicatom 2008/10/12 02:52:00
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    masonicatom
    Platonic relationships come to mind. I also love my ex, but am no longer in love with her.
  • GreatLakes 2008/10/12 02:51:07
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    GreatLakes
    Yes. There's different kinds of love for different individuals in life.
  • icymore 2008/10/12 02:49:06
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    icymore
    Absolutely.
  • Diverbelo 2008/10/12 02:48:02
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Diverbelo
    +1
    I love my Ex Wife. We remain friends.
  • Michael 2008/10/12 02:36:10
    Yes, you can love someone and not be in love with them
    Michael
    I love my mom.. I'm sure as hell not in love with her..

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