BULLYING: Should adults step in and stop it or should the children learn how to handle the bullies themselves?

When I was 7 or 8 years old, this bigger girl in school used to tease and bully me a lot.

One day in the cafeteria, I walked up behind her and dumped a carton of milk down her back. Then I smacked her in the head.

She never bothered me again after that. No one else took her place as my bully, either.

Take that for whatever you think it's worth ...

GOOD FOR YOU!

It depends on the situation and the kids involved. For myself if I was aware that one of my kids was bullying someone I would put a stop to it. If my kid was being bullied I would have a serious talk with him and find out what was going on then go from there.

It depends, doesn't it? Is the target overwhelmed, younger, smaller, autistic...? What is the power ratio? The situation? The ramifications, both obvious and and "hidden?"

Where's all the shades of gray, the middle ground? We should read situations instead of flitting back and forth between the polar opposites of zero tolerance positions and refusal to step in, both of which can be forms of something called emotional violence. http://sari0009.xanga.com/725...

While we many want kids to learn how to handle some stuff on their own, alternatively, in many cases, not all but many, a "kids will be kids" refusal to step in does several things.

1. It becomes a missed opportunity to step in to assert certain boundaries and standards of behavior. Missed opportunities of this nature often "speak volumes."

2. It is taking the role of playing silent accessory to the harm, in opposition to personal accountability.

3. It further marginalizes the target, is dehumanizing, and can teach learned helplessness to vulnerable children if adults won't step in at all in situations they should have.

Step in and give the bully a dose of their own medicine, because once the victim fights back they[the victim] are the ones that get in trouble, or go to jail.

Alight so let's put it this way, if the kids try to handle bullying on their own, than they might get so mad at the bully that they want to fight that guy/girl, and not only that call them every name in the book. Now onto the parents, if steps in and try to stop it, without allowing their child to at least try to stop that bully,than that person will make fun of that child and say " Oh you needed your mommy/ daddy to help you, and they will continue to boss that kid around, and rest of the students might laugh at that child. Now here's my answer to the question. My answer adults should step in and stop, but not to the point where the rest of the students makes fun of the kid, and kids should learn how to handle the bullies themselves, but not to the point where the kid ends up fighting the bully and calling that person every name in the book.

i think, depending on the type of bullying, both, the parent should step in and stop it, and the child needs to handle it.

Be careful who you defend doesn't turn on you!

The answer is both. Kids need to learn how to deal with bullies because they will deal with them all their lives. Yes, there are adult bullies! Parents need to step up when their child is being bullied and demand the schools take action.

I've taught my young sons that bullies were born with a chip missing. Would they, I asked, want a toy with a part missing, or would you just walk away and look for a toy with all the parts?

They know to walk away from certain people. Fortunately, none have been bullied but know to tell the teacher or coach or nearest responsible adult.

It depends on what is referred to as bullying. Nowadays it seems like most bullying occurs via facebook and other social web influences. In that regard - I don't know what the answers are. As far as physical bullying goes I do have an answer - although nowadays my solution would be considered wacko. When I was a kid (until 11th and 12th grade) I was a pipsqueak, a skinny 'lil runt, a half-pint - one of the smallest kids in my schools. My wise and dear Father taught me: 1) To stick up for myself; 2) To stick up for my younger brother and sister and my friends; and 3) Don't go looking for a fight, but if a bully picks on you - get the first punch in. Twice in 7th grade older and bigger kids tried bullying me. I got the first punch in and much more. Thereafter, NObody picked on me.

Bullying is about as old as prostitution! This isn't a new trend....but of course now all the so called experts have weighed in and now it's a horrible epidemic. Pffffftttt....you learn to deal with them and move on in life. You do not cater to a bully because this is what they want. If you are a young person and you have your parents take up for you, guess what? The bully now has even more ammo to hurt you with. We have all been bullied at one time or another in our lives. The best way to deal with it, is to just walk away from it and don't give it your valuable energy. They are not worth the effort.

Anyone who sees it should stop it, parents, teachers, and other kids. It has become much more serious with internet technology than years ago.

learn to stand up for themselves. you can't expect others to fight your battles you will just grow up weak

If an adult see's it, by all means step in. However, you should also try to teach your children the appropriate ways to handle situations like this on their own, unfortunately just because we grow up doesn't mean bullies just go away ... they just get meaner and more versitle with how they can make you miserable.

At some point, kids need to learn to handle the problems life has for them

"Further, if a victim of bullying fights back (especially if they win); they usually receive much stiffer punishment than the original bully did (if any)...."

THERE is the problem...

Agreed! When my oldest daughter was in school she was being bullied. She told the teachers, principals but the bullying continued. One morning my daughter had enough and fought back and won the fight. The principal only suspended my daughter because she had no marks on her. We went to school and after a few words choice words with the principal the other girl was also suspended.

I believe that if an adult witnesses bullying, it is their duty to intervene. No excuses, either.

Adults need to stop it whenever possible

Does not matter who stops it... it just needs to be stopped.

at some point adults need to step in..