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Are Today’s Women Too Independent?

Living 2010/06/11 11:00:00
Both Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce have had hit songs in recent years about “independent” women. But have single women become so independent and set in their ways that they are destined to be alone?

CNN’s relationships columnist Audrey Irvine wonders if today’s women “make men feel like they're dating a man wearing a skirt.”

“Ladies, it is fine to have a successful career, own your home and make your own money. But you still need to create a way for a man to see where he can fit into your life and still feel important,” she writes.

We don’t know about you, but this seems like a throwback to the times when we were supposed to let guys beat us at games and sports just to fuel their egos, then go home and bake a tray of fudge.

Do you think today’s women are too independent?

Read More: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/06/03/rr.i...

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  • Ves~Sailor Soldier of PHAET 2010/06/11 15:26:21 (edited)
    Ves~Sailor Soldier of PHAET
    +19
    Stupid article. Many independent woman find men, it's stupid that people think woman can not be as independent as men. Why is there always a label on a woman but never a man, if we do not expect men to be a certain way then woman do not have to be a certain way. Sexist societies are just upset they can control people to live lives they way they want them too.

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  • SeriousNick 2013/02/13 18:19:44
  • Rob 2012/01/14 03:26:08
    Rob
    +3
    I have absolutely no problem with having a strong, independent woman in my life but as long as she is kind and gentle and loving and caring and funny as well. The most important thing to me in a life partner is that she be those things. I have had my share of bossy women who want to control me and everyone else in their lives ... who wants to be in a relationship with someone who is controlling? An independent woman doesn't want to be with a controlling, bossy man who wants to tell her what to do and belittles women. So by the same ticket I don't want to be with a woman who belittles men (there is some of that among these comments) and tries to control or 'train' me. I know women who describe themselves as 'strong and independent' who also talk about 'training' their men. To me, that's abusive and the kind of behaviour that, in men, led to the feminist movement. After a hard day's work I want to come home to someone who's not like my boss and with whom I can have fun and who cares about me. I also think that being 'strong and independent' for some women means sexual freedom. I don't think sexual freedom is a good thing for either men or women because it results in babies born into emotionally insecure situations, or alternatively, abortions, which despite common belief, is act...
    I have absolutely no problem with having a strong, independent woman in my life but as long as she is kind and gentle and loving and caring and funny as well. The most important thing to me in a life partner is that she be those things. I have had my share of bossy women who want to control me and everyone else in their lives ... who wants to be in a relationship with someone who is controlling? An independent woman doesn't want to be with a controlling, bossy man who wants to tell her what to do and belittles women. So by the same ticket I don't want to be with a woman who belittles men (there is some of that among these comments) and tries to control or 'train' me. I know women who describe themselves as 'strong and independent' who also talk about 'training' their men. To me, that's abusive and the kind of behaviour that, in men, led to the feminist movement. After a hard day's work I want to come home to someone who's not like my boss and with whom I can have fun and who cares about me. I also think that being 'strong and independent' for some women means sexual freedom. I don't think sexual freedom is a good thing for either men or women because it results in babies born into emotionally insecure situations, or alternatively, abortions, which despite common belief, is actually psychologically damaging for the women involved and karmically not great. When I look at old movies from before the feminist era, I don't see many downtrodden women: most female characters are strong women but exude a femininity that is out of fashion these days. Be strong and independent ... please! (Nobody wants a wet dishcloth as a partner!) But don't let that stop you being kind and loving with your loved-ones and PLEASE don't see it as an excuse to belittle men (as a group or individually) as 'useless' as so many people of the feminist generation seem to do.
    (more)
  • anonymous 2012/01/02 16:45:09
    anonymous
    +2
    absolutely, it seems once women's lib took over it really messed their brain up. they are very nasty, and very money hungry as well.
  • so very much true 2011/12/06 00:59:40
    so very much true
    +3
    the trouble with women today, they have a very bad attitude since many of them are independent and think who the hell they are. they dress and act like filthy pigs, and most of them are. they are not worth meeting, and many of them are lesbians today.
  • Anonymous 2011/03/29 18:41:33
    Anonymous
    +1
    Maybe the men just need to step up their game and act more like men then women in relationships.
  • slim 2010/08/27 15:29:33
    slim
    +4
    Yes. I think women are far too independent nowadays. Now, I am not a woman hater, I am a 28 year old man who started work right out of high school, no degree, and have worked my way up the ladder and now make a very good living. I own my own house, truck, have a dog and a beer fridge in my garage. I want a woman in my life, because all the money in the world doesn't take the place of love. I am not egotistical, I am patient, I do get angry at times, but hey, I'm a guy. I may be independent, but I want to be in a relationship where we are co-dependent.

    The last three relationships I have been in have been with women who don't want a man, they want an accessory. I'm an old fashioned country boy from small town Texas who was raised with a mom and dad who both worked full time jobs and were dependent on each other. My recent girlfreind has no regard for anyone but herself in the relationship, whereas I take into consideration her plans and try to squeeze time for us into her schedule. I'm trying hard to make it work, but if she doesn't want someone in her life, why should I want her? She is 27, well educated, has a job that she can't stand, and has 300 freinds that she constantly has to please. Its hard for me to fit in anywhere. She has vowed to never let anything come between ...

    Yes. I think women are far too independent nowadays. Now, I am not a woman hater, I am a 28 year old man who started work right out of high school, no degree, and have worked my way up the ladder and now make a very good living. I own my own house, truck, have a dog and a beer fridge in my garage. I want a woman in my life, because all the money in the world doesn't take the place of love. I am not egotistical, I am patient, I do get angry at times, but hey, I'm a guy. I may be independent, but I want to be in a relationship where we are co-dependent.

    The last three relationships I have been in have been with women who don't want a man, they want an accessory. I'm an old fashioned country boy from small town Texas who was raised with a mom and dad who both worked full time jobs and were dependent on each other. My recent girlfreind has no regard for anyone but herself in the relationship, whereas I take into consideration her plans and try to squeeze time for us into her schedule. I'm trying hard to make it work, but if she doesn't want someone in her life, why should I want her? She is 27, well educated, has a job that she can't stand, and has 300 freinds that she constantly has to please. Its hard for me to fit in anywhere. She has vowed to never let anything come between her and her freinds because she is "an independent woman and I've worked hard to become this way." I, on the other hand, have a handful of close freinds (5 to be exact) and we are all in the same boat. We have poker night once a month and try to take a fishing and hunting trip a year together. My freinds are manly men. We drink beer, we work on our own vehicles, we know how to fix things and we are true to our word. In my experiences, the independent woman doesn't want a manly man...

    Sorry for the rant, just my $.02
    (more)
  • ♥əmma~*In Padfoot I trust*~♥ 2010/06/20 03:20:25
    ♥əmma~*In Padfoot I trust*~♥
    +1
    A man should feel important because he makes his woman happy, not because he has the job and the wife is his cook. Why can't the woman be the provider? I thought we were getting past that. Women are definitely not too independent.
  • slave 2010/06/19 04:24:42
    slave
    It would be better to be alone and independent than be with a man that will make you suffer your whole life. Sometimes, men caused women to be tough.
  • Jenny 2010/06/15 01:39:42
    Jenny
    umm no that is soo dumb who ever thought of it is totaly sexist :( wtf
  • ME 2010/06/14 21:00:11
    ME
    Sounds like Audrey Irvine listens to Dr. Laura.

    Who says independence and a man don't mix?

    No, I don't think today's women are too independent; rather, I think today's women are smarter and have more opportunity to be independent, with or without a man.
  • Claire Taurus 2010/06/13 13:00:24
    Claire Taurus
    +2
    Get them back in the kitchen.
  • ♥əmma~*... Claire ... 2010/06/20 03:21:40
  • Megan ~ PHAET 2010/06/12 16:24:02
    Megan ~ PHAET
    +1
    Being too independent is bad for both men and women. You delude yourself into thinking you don't need anyone and you end up being a sour-ass. Life is better if you have a mate.
  • Doc Frank stein 2010/06/12 15:09:52
    Doc Frank stein
    +2
    Yep! Far too so...
    Yet there are still women around who are more 'old-fashioned' and like men to take charge.
    I'll 'drink' to them! ;)
  • EscapeVelocity 2010/06/12 13:57:02
    EscapeVelocity
    +1
    Independent isnt the word - we need to actually be more independent considering half the girls I pass in the hallway are gonna be depending on guy's money when they're hookers - but you're probably thinking about controlling. Honestly, I think we still need more girls doing stuff like being president and everything.
  • wolfsan11 2010/06/12 13:07:12
    wolfsan11
    +2
    What's wrong with a woman being independent? Dumb article.
  • i love ... wolfsan11 2010/06/13 08:31:58
    i love sushi
    +1
    I agree to me there's no such thing as being too independent for a woman. I'm pretty sure if I read that article it'd piss me off.
  • wolfsan11 i love ... 2010/06/13 13:49:01
    wolfsan11
    Very true :)
  • Mechild 2010/06/12 09:18:40
    Mechild
    I'm for the most part very independent though I do like to know people will be there for me when I need them and I would like prefer to be in a relationship with someone that is similar to that.
  • Mechild Mechild 2010/06/12 09:20:03
    Mechild
    +1
    about beyonces's songs they are all about not letting yourself be taken for granted which is a great message that is applicable for everyone
  • LewShengkok 2010/06/12 08:17:47
    LewShengkok
    +3
    YES, man are starting to lose importance, having a successful career is fine but growing too independent is just not the nature of things.
  • ♥əmma~*... LewShen... 2010/06/20 03:22:57
    ♥əmma~*In Padfoot I trust*~♥
    Just not the nature of things? Women should not have to answer to men. We don't need to depend on them, we're capable of taking care of ourselves.
  • stahlnacht 2010/06/12 08:07:46
    stahlnacht
    +1
    Too independent? Not yet, since there are still men on this planet. When we men are an endangered species (partially due to the homosexual community), then I will say that women are too independent. Oh, and also when the male part of the reproductive process is not longer considered.
  • mahdiyeh.khdi 2010/06/12 06:59:51
    mahdiyeh.khdi
    if u ask me, i should tell u that i'm not independent yet. but i love to be. and i think everyone must live for him/herself beside living with someone else. thats it
  • Kalayaan 001 2010/06/12 06:34:45 (edited)
    Kalayaan 001
    +2
    .


    Not only one. Not only the other. But to all things, balance.
  • mahdiye... Kalayaa... 2010/06/12 06:56:14
    mahdiyeh.khdi
    yes yes yes ... sooooo right ... that is the answer to all questions *BALANCE EVERYTHING IN LIFE*
  • jack5kairon 2010/06/12 06:21:05
    jack5kairon
    Madam I'm going against my will and writing an answer to the last paragraph about throwback.....................of fudge. Women are capable of doing what men could do and what I feel is that this age old battle of sexes will always be there. What I wanna say is ...........it is really hard to say, but here goes nothing, men will do everything a women asks him to do, but he should feel that he is the master of the house. It is something like, you want a child to do something and if it is stubborn we tell that you are smart, wise etc etc and the child does what is asked. Similarly even if men are not really the masters just let them feel they are and I assure you nothing can go wrong in this.
    One more thing I wanted to add. I have often seen in both genres that mostly divorce is done on a very small issue which is made big by their ego's. People have forgotten to be polite and say sorry or please to each other. Even if they had to say it, they will be saying it to the person you love and wanted to live your life with so why does this becomes such a big issue. I believe that the people who are flexible can survive any relation, like a plant which is flexible and is not destroyed in flood on the other hand a tree which tries to stand like an ego always break. Hope I was able to ex...
    Madam I'm going against my will and writing an answer to the last paragraph about throwback.....................of fudge. Women are capable of doing what men could do and what I feel is that this age old battle of sexes will always be there. What I wanna say is ...........it is really hard to say, but here goes nothing, men will do everything a women asks him to do, but he should feel that he is the master of the house. It is something like, you want a child to do something and if it is stubborn we tell that you are smart, wise etc etc and the child does what is asked. Similarly even if men are not really the masters just let them feel they are and I assure you nothing can go wrong in this.
    One more thing I wanted to add. I have often seen in both genres that mostly divorce is done on a very small issue which is made big by their ego's. People have forgotten to be polite and say sorry or please to each other. Even if they had to say it, they will be saying it to the person you love and wanted to live your life with so why does this becomes such a big issue. I believe that the people who are flexible can survive any relation, like a plant which is flexible and is not destroyed in flood on the other hand a tree which tries to stand like an ego always break. Hope I was able to express myself. And about that article I would just say that if you love really love someone then whatever the condition you will stay with him/her and if it was just a physical attraction then it will break today or later. Just don't make love an excuse for physical satisfaction, this gives love a cheap, disrespectful and distrusted emotion which it isn't
    (more)
  • SeaSparkzz 2010/06/12 05:59:27
    SeaSparkzz
    +1
    Not at all... Women today have just realized that they can do what men have done for years... choose to be single!
    If they really wanted a man in their lives, they'd make room for one.
  • Leantom, the Economic Ratio... 2010/06/12 05:58:33
    Leantom, the Economic Rationalist
    +2
    Most of my friends and I believe there's no incentive to stay with a woman. Don't get me wrong; I'm willing to have intercourse, but I really don't want to have an actual, long-term relationship with anyone. Also, I think it's far more beneficial to have sex with many women rather than just one (you'll probably get bored after awhile with just one partner).

    I know I'm not alone. In fact, an increasing majority of men feel this way. The divorce rates are sky-rocketing because of the increasing independence of BOTH men and women. Most men really just see women as momentary fun; not many are committed to having relationships.

    These feelings of indifference stem from two facts: Married women are no longer men's property, and women are no longer "hard-to-get" (modesty is gone; it's extremely easy to get into a girl's pants these days).

    Men desire property. In fact, I'll wager to say that males love only personal property. However, because women are no longer viewed as property, men no longer have the incentive to invest in their wives, given that their wives can leave them at any time (by "invest," I mean devoting time, care and energy). Since men can no longer propertize women, and since men only care about accumulating property, men no longer care for or love women. T...



    Most of my friends and I believe there's no incentive to stay with a woman. Don't get me wrong; I'm willing to have intercourse, but I really don't want to have an actual, long-term relationship with anyone. Also, I think it's far more beneficial to have sex with many women rather than just one (you'll probably get bored after awhile with just one partner).

    I know I'm not alone. In fact, an increasing majority of men feel this way. The divorce rates are sky-rocketing because of the increasing independence of BOTH men and women. Most men really just see women as momentary fun; not many are committed to having relationships.

    These feelings of indifference stem from two facts: Married women are no longer men's property, and women are no longer "hard-to-get" (modesty is gone; it's extremely easy to get into a girl's pants these days).

    Men desire property. In fact, I'll wager to say that males love only personal property. However, because women are no longer viewed as property, men no longer have the incentive to invest in their wives, given that their wives can leave them at any time (by "invest," I mean devoting time, care and energy). Since men can no longer propertize women, and since men only care about accumulating property, men no longer care for or love women. This is the truth.

    It is also true that women's sexual immorality gives men less incentive to stay with them. This is easy to understand. If my goal is sex, and the woman immediately offers it, what incentive do I have to continue getting to know her? I no longer need to expend any effort getting to know the girl or even pretend to be remotely interested in her. I can just drop my pants, do my business and leave her for another girl. Women's modesty was a good thing for women; its conclusion only made things better for men

    Feminism reacted to this by supporting arbitrary, conventional laws that forced men to take care of women (after all, feminism is really just a convention; there's nothing natural about the physically dominant sex acting subserviently or equally with the physically weaker sex; in all other species, one sex usually dominates over the other). However, - and this is one of the reasons why I don't take feminism seriously - you can't try to liberate yourself while oppressing another group.
    (more)
  • Pl Leantom... 2010/06/12 15:14:43
    Pl
    +1
    Yes, as I said earlier... men are waking up. They realize and the courts had a lot to do with it too. Siding with women saying they are weak and oppressed. All she has to do is hold up that marriage certificate and say half (or 3/4). Some women actually realize, Hey, I can do this myself. Wow, Guys have know this from the time we are able to work. We can't flash our boobs or wiggle our ass to get what we want. Men have come to the understanding that all a woman has to offer is sex, everything else they can obtain on their own.
  • Daniel Leantom... 2010/06/12 15:37:13
    Daniel
    +1
    Amen, and true fact. If they don't want to obey the rules of the man's house, why live with them. When I use to date, I bring a girl home for the night and wake up to a clean house. Now I live with a woman and clean my own house. I ask myself, " Why am I doing this?" I know the answer. I love her, but my love's growing less each day.
  • Rob Leantom... 2012/01/14 19:13:18
    Rob
    +1
    Hmmm not really ... I want long term love, not just a series of casual relationships.
  • JezzXv 2010/06/12 05:45:56
    JezzXv
    The 50's called....they want Audrey Irvine back
  • Earthly Resident 2010/06/12 05:31:26
    Earthly Resident
    +1
    theres no such thing as "too" independent
  • runningintriangles 2010/06/12 05:27:00
    runningintriangles
    +3
    ...there isn't such a thing as being too independent.

    People don't give men much credit, not all men are so insecure that they need a simpering, submissive, quiet woman to be happy. Actually, most men aren't really into that.

    All the men I know prefer their women to be independent, and I wouldn't be surprised if most men felt the same way, but hey, what do I know, I'm just a free-thinking, opinionated, independent woman.

    Audrey Irvine clearly isn't very bright. Not in the least.
  • Pl running... 2010/06/12 15:04:49
    Pl
    +1
    I know. All men are these days are sperm donors and ATM machines. Men are tired of running into women that all they have to offer is "support me (and my kids).
  • Fitted 2010/06/12 04:34:13
    Fitted
    When its all work and no play yes but there is nothing wrong with an independent woman!I wounder if a man wrote this?!lol
  • nancydoodle 2010/06/12 04:25:39
    nancydoodle
    I'm single does that make me independent? lol maybe so but I do plan to find a guy anytime soon in the mean time i'm "independent".
  • Dagon 2010/06/12 04:18:10
  • Rob Dagon 2012/01/14 19:16:17
    Rob
    +3
    I have experienced a lot of controlling women and I'm sick of them ... I don't want a relationship with a woman whose claim to 'independence' simply means she is going to try to boss me around all the time. Gets tiring after a while ...
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