Are Big Weddings Overrated?

Living 2012/09/23 23:51:04
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Torie Bosch at Slate makes a case for skipping the big wedding and eloping instead. Could she be on to something?

One of the primary reasons couples choose the courthouse over the big ceremony and reception is to save money. According to Brides magazine, the average wedding costs $26,989. Is it really worth it to lay down that kind of money (and possibly go into debt) for an event that takes months to plan and will be over in a couple hours? Bosch thinks not.

She writes,” I love a good wedding just as I love any party with an open bar and ‘The Electric Slide.’ But unless you are wealthy, come from a family that has never known strife, enjoy giving up an entire year of your life to planning, and can smile in the face of any possible wedding disaster (and mean it, not just for pictures), you should elope. That’s because weddings—even small-scale ones—are more pageant than sincerity.

“Many men and women have told me that their weddings were so frantic—worrying about whether the caterer was late, whether a simmering family feud was about to boil over, whether everyone who should have been thanked was acknowledged—that it felt like a blur. We all know people who were too busy on their wedding day to eat the food that they so carefully selected—and if that isn’t a demonstration that a wedding is for everyone else but the couple, I don’t know what is.”

Is Torie Bosch right in her assessment of weddings today? Or is she just too cynical? We want to know what you think SodaHeads. Are big weddings overrated?

Read More: http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/201...

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Top Opinion

  • Shawna 2012/09/24 02:31:20
    Big weddings are for people who want big weddings? They can't be overrated or underrated; you either want one or you don't.

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  • selena costa 2012/09/24 23:02:10
    selena costa
    if you can afford it and you want it who cares. you going to go and you going to enjoy and remember it forever.
  • Miss Fiona 2012/09/24 22:06:23
    Miss Fiona
    Regardless of how much money you spend on your wedding, the day is still a special unforgettable experience.
  • kevracer 2012/09/24 20:52:14
    two years later, the folks with the big weddings and the small weddings are just as unhappy
  • TasselLady 2012/09/24 20:02:01
    I would rather have a small, simple wedding than a big one costing thousands of dollars. I could use that money to go towards a house or something else me and the hubby would need. It's just a waste of money in my books.
    small wedding
  • FATMIC 2012/09/24 19:44:34
    Yes Wedding Are Overrated If You Love Them As Much As People Say They Do You Wont Need A Giant Wedding. You Have Each Other
  • Flamingolady 2012/09/24 19:22:02
    When you see the change from what people just could afford, to the extravaganzas now that the brides insist on, it just makes you scratch your head and say ? "WTF?" The angst, the drama, the idiocy. Just makes me vacillate from wanting to throw up, and wanting to laugh at the vapidity and self involvement this promotes. Huge extravagant wedding small wedding
  • Dryth 2012/09/24 19:07:48
    SO over rated. Personally I think marriage as a whole is over-rated. <_<
  • Jan 2012/09/24 18:41:42
    Our Wedding Day (fourty years ago yesterday) was about us wanting to tell our nearest and dearest that we were totally commited to each other. Yesterday was to show them that we are still as much in love as we were then. We had a great celebration snd are looking forward to the next 40 years. :-)
  • Ben 2012/09/24 18:23:47
    The less you spend on the wedding, the more you can spend on the marriage.
  • Golden Panther 2012/09/24 18:11:02
    Golden Panther
    Yes, overrated, but back in the day they were fun to crash and the bigger the better...free booze, food, and, of course, the bridesmaids.
  • umapathy Krishnamurthy 2012/09/24 17:48:23
    umapathy Krishnamurthy
    Yes always
  • bye 2012/09/24 17:47:57
    I'd rather drive a new Dodge Challenger! And get married in a cotton dress.
  • barby karring 2012/09/24 17:07:04 (edited)
    barby karring
    Smaller setting same location different place less folks attending make it beautiful make it simple and not over the top. Sure its the bride's day already; but be realistic and know that this is one day; when there is a lifetime ahead of this day. And therefore reality sets in after your big day and even on your honeymoon' so with all that money you originally was going to lavish on that one day' trim the festivities and save that money honey, by banking it baby and smile everyday for your smart thinking. Are you listening bride and groom or mom and dad.
  • Lordoftheringsrox 2012/09/24 16:58:39
    I know it sounds cheesy, but I think weddings are so romantic! True, you have to know what you're getting into. I think it's cool how the families and friends come for the celebration of the couple. As for me, I wouldn't want to get married yet, but I like to see others get married. The cost shouldn't be too overboard though.
  • Red 2012/09/24 16:56:18
    I don't think so... For me, marriage is a sacred ceremony. If people want to spend on wedding to make it more special, then ok, let them if they can afford it.
  • whowasphone 2012/09/24 16:29:08
    to each their own...
  • bye whowasp... 2012/09/24 17:48:39
  • S123 2012/09/24 16:28:51
    Not if that's that the couple wants and they can afford it.
  • Javimendo 2012/09/24 15:53:06
    They're a waste of time and money.
  • Kim(: 2012/09/24 15:52:38
    I meant no!! How is it so freakin overrated to have a big wedding!?!?! THe overrated part is the cost. it shouldnt cost over 26,989 dollars
  • Jalex 2012/09/24 15:41:56
    They are to me. I don't want a big ceremony, as long as I get to be with the person I love. But if she wants a big ceremony, then of course I'll go along.
  • Rdtourist 2012/09/24 15:33:44
    One of my aunts had an in excess of $10,000 wedding in 1953, HUGE thing, First son of a very successful Italian immigrant the daughter of a pretty successful Colonel, BIG doings. Major cathedral type affair with a professional hotel ballroom after in Washington, DC, impressive as hell.

    BTW, they stayed married till death, a novel thought any more.
  • jacktown kid 2012/09/24 15:22:34
    jacktown kid
    make it simple
  • Chris D 2012/09/24 14:56:34
    Chris D
    I agree - but a wedding is really the only time in your life that everyone who is important in your life is in one room together....friends, siblings, cousins, the older generation, parents, step parents, that beer buddy from college....it's kind of cool
  • barby k... Chris D 2012/09/24 17:29:56 (edited)
    barby karring
    Not really' family reunions, big birthday bash, super sized cookouts and have them bring a dish or drinks' there are so many ways to do it up with friends and family combined try it. ; )
  • alex 2012/09/24 14:51:10 (edited)
    i wouldn't say overrated, but theres too many people putting pressure on happy couples to have a giant extraveganza, and they should knock it off. ever since i got with my man 3 years ago, i have been constantly asked when were getting married and for us to have a huge wedding. like...im not doing this FOR YOU. i will have my SMALL wedding under a beautiful gazebo and youre gonna LIKE IT XDXD

    gazebo wedding
  • barby k... alex 2012/09/24 17:37:25
    barby karring
    The setting is beautiful already' stick with what makes you and your significant other comfortable and go with it.
  • Bronar 2012/09/24 14:28:39
    They are not overrated, they can be fantastic evenings that people remember for the rest of their lives. But... If I could go back, paying for my own as I did, the money would have been far better spent on a decent house down payment and a smaller gathering.
  • barby k... Bronar 2012/09/24 17:45:34
    barby karring
  • MlssCue =Go Blue= 2012/09/24 14:28:10
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    Big weddings are nothing new, but I can only imagine to what extreme they are now. I honestly don't go in search of wedding things, so I wouldn't know.

    I do know that if I remarry, it's to the courthouse. Quick, simple & done!
  • Kezzi Morris 2012/09/24 14:27:39
    Kezzi Morris
    Oh yes
  • Professor Wizard 2012/09/24 13:52:05
    Professor Wizard
    yes... but - the Wedding Industry is Billion Dollar Industry, and employs 10's of thousands of people.

    Everyone should get married at least 4 times, to keep this industry going.
  • barby k... Profess... 2012/09/24 17:48:41
  • Roxxi 2012/09/24 13:39:24
    I wouldn't want one for myself, but if that's what you want then fine. It's not meant to be a competition, just have a wedding you want.
  • Sir_Smoksaloth 2012/09/24 13:36:46
    Big or small, does't really matter... Mariage itself is overated in my opinion...
  • Keegan The Fabulous 2012/09/24 13:13:37
    Keegan The Fabulous
    This graph explains [/dæm/ well] why:

    graph explains dm
  • LucyLucero 2012/09/24 13:10:24
    If that's what she wants, that's what she wants.
  • AM 2012/09/24 13:02:10
  • barby k... AM 2012/09/24 17:57:38
    barby karring
    That's a lot of cash to pay out for someone to come to your special party in which there will be a ceremony to anounce that you're now hubby and wife and they eat and drink your stuff up and leave. That's too much money; if they love you as much as you'd like to think, put on the invitation bring a dish or drink.
  • gmiing 2012/09/24 12:55:07
    $26,000 + for a wedding? !!! Most couples would prefer to have the cash and most parents would love to save that kind of cash.

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