Are Big Weddings Overrated?

Living 2012/09/23 23:51:04
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Torie Bosch at Slate makes a case for skipping the big wedding and eloping instead. Could she be on to something?

One of the primary reasons couples choose the courthouse over the big ceremony and reception is to save money. According to Brides magazine, the average wedding costs $26,989. Is it really worth it to lay down that kind of money (and possibly go into debt) for an event that takes months to plan and will be over in a couple hours? Bosch thinks not.

She writes,” I love a good wedding just as I love any party with an open bar and ‘The Electric Slide.’ But unless you are wealthy, come from a family that has never known strife, enjoy giving up an entire year of your life to planning, and can smile in the face of any possible wedding disaster (and mean it, not just for pictures), you should elope. That’s because weddings—even small-scale ones—are more pageant than sincerity.

“Many men and women have told me that their weddings were so frantic—worrying about whether the caterer was late, whether a simmering family feud was about to boil over, whether everyone who should have been thanked was acknowledged—that it felt like a blur. We all know people who were too busy on their wedding day to eat the food that they so carefully selected—and if that isn’t a demonstration that a wedding is for everyone else but the couple, I don’t know what is.”

Is Torie Bosch right in her assessment of weddings today? Or is she just too cynical? We want to know what you think SodaHeads. Are big weddings overrated?

Read More: http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/201...

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Top Opinion

  • Shawna 2012/09/24 02:31:20
    Big weddings are for people who want big weddings? They can't be overrated or underrated; you either want one or you don't.

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  • Cleaver62 2012/10/03 13:17:26
    I got married on a beach at sunset in Florida 10 years ago. My 75 dollar wedding has lasted a lot longer than most 40,000 dollar weddings do. There is so much more important things to take care of when you are a new couple. Why spend a fortune, or break your parents with an expensive elaborate over the top wedding.
  • dr blais 2012/10/02 16:01:08
  • Pam 2012/10/01 07:32:40
    Waste of money.
  • Cricket 2012/10/01 04:14:44
    A large party celebrating the union of two lovebirds is bad? There are too many bad things happening in our world--this is not bad or wrong. Until they get divorced in a year or so. JK JK JK sort of
  • yoana 2012/09/30 19:27:14
    all weddings are
  • Mutzi 2012/09/28 01:32:11
    Two red flag indicators that your marriage will be short-lived. 1.) An ostentatious, over-the-top wedding. 2.) An annual tradition of 'vow renewal' ceremonies.
  • Scrappyang 2012/09/26 12:21:02 (edited)
    Oops, I hit the wrong button! I think they ARE over rated. A couple needn't even elope to have a small lovely wedding without a hoopla. We were married by a JP in a banquet room at the Holiday Inn with my family and our closest friends in attendance. Everyone enjoyed themselves and knew each other. There were approx. 20 people total. Eveeryone was able to make a toast and there was plenty of laughing and lots of happiness, which is what a reception should be. And we didn't have to go in debt to afford it! perfect for us!!
  • duns 2012/09/26 09:36:25
    Not that I care about anyone's big wedding. i just hope all those expenses will be worth it for the couple.
  • T3rm1n4t0r 2012/09/26 09:33:55
    They are...
  • Seamus 2012/09/26 08:13:41
    Samoa, no family, no friends, no complications. Big weddings are a show off and waste of money.
  • Mike Hunt 2012/09/26 06:49:21
    Mike Hunt
    I think weddings are great I know people who got married and had weddings three times.
    It is good for the economy. Actually wedding create far more jobs the the Chinese I-phone and the rest of dumb phones combined.
  • Lady Katze 2012/09/26 05:05:21
    Lady Katze
    I've already decided what I want my wedding to be; small, because then all initial "wedding money" can be used for the honeymoon in Rome!
  • bt sedlock 2012/09/26 05:03:57
    bt sedlock
    Yes, sometimes they can be over the top.
  • KingdomNow 2012/09/26 04:44:10
    Marriage should be no more elaborate than signing a simple, one page contract.
  • bt sedlock KingdomNow 2012/09/26 05:08:18
    bt sedlock
    Weddings can be pretty overblown. Unless it's royal wedding in Great Britain.
  • MiMi 2012/09/26 04:17:30
    Yup!... I plan on having something small and cute.
  • PortaPocketGal 2012/09/26 03:35:33
    and a big fat waste of $ too. how many people can one POSSIBLY even talk to in a few hours or even a day/weekend?
  • Airhead 2012/09/26 02:36:43
    Ugh, and I absolutely can't stand the victorian style wedding. It's so dead and automated.
  • smilinbobs 2012/09/26 01:58:09
    My wife and I had a great wedding and reception at our house. we invited about 100 people. We had a DJ, rented a big party tent, Paid some people to serve food that we prepared. Everyone talked about what a great time they had at the wedding for months afterward. The amazing thing is that we did it all for about $1000. Nobody would have enjoyed themselves anymore if we had a big fancy wedding.
  • BReeZY!!!:D 2012/09/26 00:55:48
    that is supposed to be one of the most important days of a persons like so why not go all out! my own wedding is going to be massive, im actually having problems finding a place for it big wedding
  • émilie✿ 2012/09/25 23:52:43
    There's no point in spending thousands of dollars, and inviting hundreds of people.

    When I get married, I hope to have a small wedding. Just family and close friends. Something simple, something inexpensive.
  • IC Freeley 2012/09/25 23:16:09
    IC Freeley
    I don't know if I'll ever get married but if I do, it's going to be on a beach with the Best Man and the Maid of Honor. That's it.
  • ohsmith ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮ 2012/09/25 22:33:03
    ohsmith ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮
    WAY overrated!
  • Sabrena Heimes 2012/09/25 21:22:25
    Sabrena Heimes
    Especially the one between Will and Kate. They made FRIDGES with their faces on it, and it's insane and stupid. How self-centered do you have to be to have your wedding broadcast on international television? Come on, get over yourselves.
  • smartgirl 2012/09/25 20:55:29
    I think it's a big waste of money considering the 50% chance that it will end at some point. I've never done it but if I did I would choose a simple white dress (maybe even buy it at goodwill) , go to city hall and have a small gathering after with close friends and family. The money spent on a big wedding could go to a hefty down payment on a house
  • markia.parkerbailey 2012/09/25 19:01:26
    Only if your truly a newly wed couple meaning if you have not been with your "soul mate" for over 5 years or longer sure have a big wedding with all the grand allure that comes with it.
  • RevBH 2012/09/25 18:13:23
    If couples spent as much time and money on their marriage as they did on their weddings, the world would be a better place.
  • AdrianMcTiernan 2012/09/25 16:51:19
    I think a small get together of friends and relatives, where the focus is on the couple and their love and committment to each other, is a healthy and good thing. Where the emphasis is on show and splendour, there is an unhealthy focus and the arrangement is not really going to be so lasting. Obviously, if you are modestly very rich and not big-headed, then a more lavish reception is probably OK, but beware pride and show at all costs.
  • retrograve 2012/09/25 16:49:01
    But if you got the money and want to spend hey, send an invite this way.
  • AdrianM... retrograve 2012/09/25 16:53:35
    count me in too - or better still, send me the money, and I will buy a super camera and photograph the wedding for you free - about £2,500 should cover it - oh, and an airline ticket out there and back too, please!
  • KCMamabear 2012/09/25 16:03:31
  • PapaBC 2012/09/25 15:27:00
    Keep them small- 50-100 max.
  • concerned dude 2012/09/25 11:41:46
  • Mellow 2012/09/25 06:41:26
    Nothing with an open-bar is overrated =)
    If it's a big fancy wedding, and no open-bar, then yes, it's probably overrated.
    alcohol drinks
  • Resp 2012/09/25 05:40:17
    Personally, I would like to see more celebratory divorces!
  • Katie 2012/09/25 05:28:50
    If you really loved each other, I doubt you would have to have 200+ people present to prove it. 15 guests would be my maximum for when I get married.
  • April Herring 2012/09/25 02:05:56
    April Herring
    Big weddings are overrated because I don't see the need in making a big deal out of it because you never know if your going to stay with that person. And a dervorce cost more than your wedding.
  • Lilymoon 2012/09/25 01:54:29
    And so is marriage, hahahaha
  • MissFinyx 2012/09/25 00:32:04
    What's the point on spending so much money on decorations and entertainment when it's the reason you are there that is special...not what was hangin on the walls or draped over chairs.
  • hermit57 2012/09/24 23:32:35
    A lot of money, a lot of stress and after all is said and done, the marriage doesn't last long! Too many couples, or should I say women, get caught up in having their "fairy tale" wedding so much so that, they don't even consider how their own mate feels about it! Then they start off their marriage in debt and that puts a strain it! A simple ceremony, simple attire and a small intimate get together with friends afterward is fine! Elopement would probably relieve some folks but irritate others. But hey! It's YOUR marriage!

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