Am I being unreasonable?

Google "mother-in-law conflict" and "mother-in-law & my new baby" Good luck. In laws can be awful.

My opinion is that you need to assert yourself. What does your husband have to say about this?

you see its difficult because he has said things to her to try and get her off our backs but she knows how to play emotions and make people feel guilty about standing up for how they wish for things to happen. He has tried and I just dread seeing her because I feel like nothing is going to work. I mean she just recently posted a poster thing on facebook about "share if you love being a grandmother" and "share if you love your grandkids" and what not. Even though she does not take care of him and has not even babysat yet! It's just a lot for me because I was raised to be independent and her presence is too much!

Well, if she's so enthusiastic about being a grandmother maybe she should start babysitting him while you take a break!

This is your husbands mother? Then you need to leave him!

She did not just get like this and it is HIS crappy mother, why didnt he stick up for you from the get go and tell her to lay off!
Some testoterone shots may be usefull.

BOTTOM LINE---It harms the baby, for you to be mistreated. You are a new mom, stay away from her and keep the baby away from her until she is going to act right!

Why should she leave a husband she loves & that she has an infant with? Isn't it better to find a way to settle the problem so all get along better?

I did not really mean that she should walk, i added that for effec, she needs to wake up. You cannot help who you fall in love with I guess and she fell in love with a passive man who is just going to let her be mistreated, even by HIS mother.

Your husband need to tell the women to take several steps back and let you breath. She need to know that you need some privacy and she is being invasive.

Phoning every day and demanding that kind of attention is obsessive. It is your husband responsibility to stop it and he need to stand up for you.

There is a poll her on just that subject and the majority of people said that the husband is the one to take charge of the mother in law problems.

Take a breather and calm yourself emotionally before you do anything as it pertains to your mother-in-law. I understand your frustration but just know, no matter how much attention your mother-in-law gives your baby, that should have no baring on who you are as a person and your importance.

Your mother-in-law means no ill will towards you and is just excited by the new life born to the family. The lack of attention by your mother-in-law has nothing to do with you as a person. Think it out clearly what the problem really is, try to come up with a thoughtful solution and then maybe speak to your husband about it first.

I wouldn't walk on egg shells in my discussion but I would try to think about what it may feel like standing in your husband shoes and use that as a guide to how you frame the subject with him.

Don't wrestle too long with this solvable problem and understand that the enemy (SATAN) loves to see confusion, adversity, unhappiness, etc. in the family. Finally pray on it and ask GOD for his guidance, because he already knows the problem.

There's an old saying that I heard years ago which is

visit her bc she is family but leave w/o causing a scene if she starts with u...hopefully ur hubby is supportive

The mother in law need to take several big steps back

She sounds ...

absolutely

She's going to cause problems if she's bugging your husband. If it's annoying him too, he should tell her to chill out. What your child does is up to you, ignore her and go on.

The mother in law need to take several big steps back and she need to be told to do so.

She just sounds like she really cares for her grandson. As for the suggestions she gives you, she was a mother before you were and she might be thinking that she is helping you.

Maybe she was a bad mother and feels like she wants another chance. Maybe she's living vicariously through you because she's lonely. Does she live alone? Does she have many friends? Some people just have overbearing personalities.

The mother in law need to take several big steps back.

she is married and two of three of her children still live at home and she has a lot of friends through work and church! so idk!

First of all I would change my Avatar! Cause you and I have the same one. Well you really don't have to answer her calls and you should let her know that she is being over-baring. [In a nice way] if that doesn't work, then have your husband talk to her..

I'm sorry you have to deal with a manipulative mother in law...I had a great relationship with my mother in law....it's her daughter that I had problems with!!! LOL

not much you can do about her very strong personality...find a way to have some understanding of how things might be for her in her life if you can. it is very hard but try not to lose these special years to anger and frustration..also...you may want to try to look at why this upsets you if you can do that..that is the real issue anyway.

My mother is the exact same way. My daughter is 15, healthy, honors classes, never been in trouble etc. and yet my mom still hands down suggestions and "You should's" as if I'm f-ing up left and right. No matter how calmly I tell her "I got it" and how seemingly receptive she is to it... Nothing changes. The good news is, you get used to it over time, and you have an on demand baby sitter.

Your the mother; you set the boundaries. If she can't handle it, them she doesn't get to see the baby. You have agency here, so you should exercise it.

I would give her something to do that would *help* you. Work it.

maybe she will ease off...

i do hope so! lol

Overall I think you have some great advice here. I hope something works for the best without destroying the reason to be family; love.

The mother in law need to take several big steps back and she need to be told to do so.

Off the edge of a boat, in the middle of the ocean! lol

Yup. I wish I had the nerve to stand up to mine when I was young and needed the courage to tell her to mind her own business on a daily basis.