oprah.com - Q: Am I the only woman in the world who likes watching porn with her husband? My friends say they think it's disgusting, but I find it keeps me focused during sex instead of thinking about my to-do list.
— Sheila in Illinois

A: Although the man in your life might prefer to believe that the only to-do in your head during sex is him, that's not always the case. Busy women, even when we're getting busy, have active minds. If it took men as long to reach orgasm as it does women (on average 20 minutes), their minds might wander too.

That's why I like your style, Sheila from Illinois. You figured out what you need in the bedroom (a television), and you made it happen. So what if your turn-on has to be turned on? At least you and your husband are enjoying porn together. I think that's very enlightened and cool, and I think your friends, frankly, are not. Who are these women to say what's disgusting? I'll tell you who they are: They are classic pornophobes. I know this because I, Cindy Chupack, used to be slightly pornophobic myself. I thought porn was something a man watched alone in a dark room and then stashed away so his girlfriend wouldn't find it. And then, if she did find—and maybe even watched—it, she would have to decide for herself if she could love a guy who enjoys 12 hours of The Blow Job Adventures of Dr. Fellatio. For example.

Okay, I admit it. Until Sheila challenged my thinking, I'd only watched porn surreptitiously, in the name of research. (You know; meet his parents, meet his pals, meet his porn.) But most women I recently asked admitted to watching porn with a boyfriend or husband. I began to wonder if I should be writing Sheila for advice rather than the other way around. For starters I'd ask: How does a modern, respectable woman get porn?
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