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A parent's night before Christmas

Mollydolly 2008/12/23 00:56:52
funny and so true
funny and glad I don't have kids
Not so funny I ran out of bandaides
You mean Husbands are supposed to help>
Undecided
All of the above
None of the above
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'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!


We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat....
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!
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Top Opinion

  • ♥~Rainbow~♥ 2008/12/23 01:04:30
    funny and so true
    ♥~Rainbow~♥
    +10
    that is why i bought my daughter new bike all ready to go...haha!

    i can see me trying to put it together Christmas Eve with a few drinkie poo's in me....LOL true daughter bike ready haha christmas eve drinkie poos lol

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  • Its Ms.MiMi,b!tch 2008/12/27 10:53:36
    funny and so true
    Its Ms.MiMi,b!tch
    +1
    toys seem to be getting more and more complicated each year!
  • Peggy 2008/12/24 21:50:10
    funny and so true
    Peggy
    +1
    Grandparents too
  • mtqueen3 2008/12/23 04:25:20
    funny and so true
    mtqueen3
    +1
    Those eve's are past as my sons are grown but it was a trip down wonderful memory lane! Thanks Mollydolly!
  • Jen**GPAC** 2008/12/23 03:11:33
    funny and glad I don't have kids
    Jen**GPAC**
    +2
    Well..not really.. LMAO.. I hope to someday be able to go through this torturous labor of love for my kids sometime.. I first need to work on having some.. and finding a man what will indeed be uncommonly good at reading the instructions..be they illegible and in Chinese.
  • Mollydolly Jen**GP... 2008/12/23 04:17:24
    Mollydolly
    +2
    just love ya Jen.
  • Joanne 2008/12/23 02:53:12
    None of the above
    Joanne
    +2
    Well said Molly, very well spoken. The rhimes you put together are great.. Couldn't have did any better myself.. A+..
  • Mollydolly Joanne 2008/12/23 04:17:38
    Mollydolly
    +2
    Thanks Perma
  • Joanne Mollydolly 2008/12/23 04:21:03
    Joanne
    +2
    Hey, you earned that rave and many more, don't thank me.. hey earned rave
  • Mollydolly Joanne 2008/12/23 04:23:23
    Mollydolly
    +2
    I am touched.
  • Joanne Mollydolly 2008/12/23 04:28:59
    Joanne
    +1
    I'm glad, excellent poetry..!
  • Kristi 2008/12/23 02:25:58
    funny and so true
    Kristi
    +2
    Wow, isn't that the absolute truth. LOL Merry Christmas anyway!!! funny true wow absolute truth lol merry christmas
  • Mollydolly Kristi 2008/12/23 04:18:10
    Mollydolly
    +2
    too many christmases with my dad and the scotch. whooo.
  • De'~ 2008/12/23 01:24:24
    funny and so true
    De'~
    +2
    Adorable! Thanks! funny true adorable
  • Mollydolly De'~ 2008/12/23 04:18:51
    Mollydolly
    +2
    You are confusing me again Dee. It's like your cat's have this constume fetish. lol.
  • De'~ Mollydolly 2008/12/23 04:23:59
    De'~
    +2
    It's close to Christmas, so I must be crabby-santa-cat, if even for a day. You willalways be able to find me cuz I'm always on your questions. Just look for the cat...

    close christmas crabby-santa-cat willalways cuz questions cat
  • Mollydolly De'~ 2008/12/23 04:27:26
    Mollydolly
    +2
    here kitty kitty
  • De'~ Mollydolly 2008/12/23 04:36:39 (edited)
  • Sister Jean 2008/12/23 01:06:39
    funny and so true
    Sister Jean
    +2
    funny true always a problem
  • Mollydolly Sister ... 2008/12/23 22:04:50
    Mollydolly
    No kidding. I forgot to ask for recharger ones. I use so many with my camera. Hope the arm not to bad and you are adjusting to your new routine. hugs
  • Sister ... Mollydolly 2008/12/23 23:14:06
    Sister Jean
    +1
    it's better i see doc tomorrow and i am praying no surgery
  • Mollydolly Sister ... 2008/12/23 23:31:58
    Mollydolly
    I'll send in my 2 cents for you. ill send 2 cents
  • Sister ... Mollydolly 2008/12/23 23:37:18
    Sister Jean
    +1
    thanks molly
  • NarcolepticGoat 2008/12/23 01:05:49
    funny and glad I don't have kids
    NarcolepticGoat
    +2
    BWAHAHAHAHA
  • cronewinter 2008/12/23 01:05:27
    funny and so true
    cronewinter
    +3
    Yes, I remember those nights..now that my kids are all grown I find that I miss the fuss and bustle of putting it all together and last minute wrapping.
  • Mollydolly cronewi... 2008/12/23 04:19:27
    Mollydolly
    +1
    I miss the magic when she gets up and opens stuff.
  • cronewi... Mollydolly 2008/12/23 04:41:51
    cronewinter
    +1
    yes, the laughter and excitement...it's fun having children during the holidays. I love the way their eyes just eat up the lights on the tree the first couple of years.
  • Mollydolly cronewi... 2008/12/23 22:16:14
    Mollydolly
    my eyes still eat up the lights. It was one of the few things my mother and I connected on. One of the few things we had in common. We would sit in the dark with the tree lit and just share a beautiful silence. It always felt like this peaceful space masking the rest of the insantity of our family.
  • cronewi... Mollydolly 2008/12/24 08:09:02
    cronewinter
    +1
    good memory : )
  • ♥~Rainbow~♥ 2008/12/23 01:04:30
    funny and so true
    ♥~Rainbow~♥
    +10
    that is why i bought my daughter new bike all ready to go...haha!

    i can see me trying to put it together Christmas Eve with a few drinkie poo's in me....LOL true daughter bike ready haha christmas eve drinkie poos lol

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