YOU'LL LOL SO HARD WHEN YOU READ THESE.
Dear tectonic plates, Calm the heck down. Sincerely, Chile, Haiti, New Zealand, and Japan.
Dear humans, We're smarter than you think. After just a few weeks, we can have you standing at the edge of the pool throwing fish to us. Sincerely, dolphins.
Dear Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy, Did it suck when you came back from Narnia and realized you had to go through puberty again? Sincerely, curious.
Dear doctors, When you say that you are "practicing medicine," you actually know what you're doing, and you're not just practicing, right? Sincerely, nervous patient.
Dear Boyfriend, I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can. Sincerely, Spiders
Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada
Dear Buffy, We have a new assignment for you. His name is Edward. Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7
Dear Scissors, I feel your pain... No one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear Dora, You're bilingual at age 4, and you seriously can't see the orange tree?! Sincerely, It's right there!
Dear reader, Please do me right now. On the kitchen table. In your bed. On the couch. Shoot, I'll even take the floor in front of the T.V. I don't care, I just need you to do me like I've never been done before. Sincerely, your homework.
Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985
Dear Nazis, You did what?!?! I said I hate JUICE! Sincerely, Hitler
Dear math, Please grow up and solve your own problems. I don't have time for yours AND mine. Sincerely, screw the value of X.
Dear Justin Bieber, Ariel would really love her voice back. Sincerely, King Triton
Dear Justin Bieber, Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a water bottle, I'd throw it at you. Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear Men, If we have to have periods every month, you guys should be kicked in the balls once a month. Sincerely, WomenDear
CatDog, Please tell me how you poop. I have wondered for so long. Sincerely, a confused fan
Dear Titanic, OM NOM NOM. Sincerely, Iceberg
Dear girls who tormented me in 7th grade because I was smarter than you, I need you to work overtime tomorrow. Sincerely, your boss
Dear Santa, You watch them sleep too? Sincerely, Edward
Dear Rubik's Cube, Done! Sincerely, Colorblind
Dear Ke$ha, Please stop with the 'talentless whore' act. That was like, my trademark first. Sincerely, Miley Cyrus
Dear Miley, Wow, this is awkward. You weren't invited... Sincerely, The USA
Dear Lady Gaga, What do you wear on Halloween? Sincerely, Curious
Dear Bambi, I'd like to inform you, your mother was delicious. Sincerely, the Hunter
Dear Old Spice man, You've got nothing on me. Sincerely, Chuck Norris
Dear mom who just learned what "lol" means, Roflmfao. Sincerely, good luck with that one.
Dear Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, What'll happen to you guys when you turn 20? Sincerely, Curious
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