You might be a cat lover if…
Dar 2011/09/23 20:02:40
- your cat has a Twitter account.
- …and tweets more often than you.
- …and you @mention your cat in your own tweets.
- you cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat.
- you dare not move a muscle when kitty falls asleep at your feet, even if you need to get up and pee.
- you sleep in the oddest positions, just so you can accommodate your cat, even if he/she chooses to plonk itself in the middle of your bed.
- sleeping with your cat and getting stray particles of kitty litter from your cat’s claws in your bed doesn’t bother you.
- you take your cat’s name as your online name.
- you have your cigarettes outside regardless of snow or rain because your cats disdainfully wrinkle their adorable little noses when they smell smoke.
- when you’re telling a friend about having to take the cat to the V-E-T, you whisper and your eyes dart furtively around the room to make sure your kitty isn’t within earshot.
- you cried more than the cat did the day you dropped him at the vet’s to be neutered.
- you feel naked if your clothes aren’t covered in cat hair.
- if you own more than one cat and can tell which cat threw up just by looking at the pile.
- people say “what a lovely Angora sweater!” and you say “What Sweater?”
- the grocery consists of cat food, cat treats, cat toys, and mice.
- you know all the ingredients in meow mix by heart.
- you plan your schedule around your cat.
- you don’t care which part of her body Kitty may have licked before kissing you on the lips!
- you nuzzle your sweetheart by rubbing your forehead on her.
- you still kiss your boyfriend after he lets kitty drink the milk while he eats the cereal.
- you feed them Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner on the good china.
- your dog coughs up cat hairballs.
- you take your cat everywhere with you and leave the car on so fluffy can get some a/c and so she can listen to the radio.
- you take your cat everywhere because you, I mean she have separation anxiety.
- you yell at Snookums for talking too much.
- you apologize for yellin’ at your darlin’ and tell her you didn’t mean it and tell her she can scream if she wants.
- when you are done crying you go get a towel to dry the tears off of her fur to make her happy.
- when someone else yells at your cat for being bad, you say, “Be nice… she’s only human.”
- your way of punishing you cat for bad behavior is a “Time Out” in the bathroom after explaining that she has been a very bad kitty for tearing up your stuff.
- when your cat scratches the heck out of you and your family, you say, “It’s just a phase she’s going through.”
- when your cat rips off the wallpaper, you take her to a cat pscyhotherapist to discover what is upsetting her and causing her disruptive behavior.
- you have full conversations with your cats and you think it’s normal.
- you think that they understand you and communicate back.
- you have more cat toys than clothes.
- when you wear black people think that you’re shedding.
- you get a fish tank and fish as pets for your cat.
- you take more pictures of your cat then you do of your children.
- you call home during your honeymoon and ask if the children have fed the cat and where is he sleeping and don’t ask if the children are okay.
- your cat eats the most expensive cat food available, but you subsist on macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles
- you refer to your parents as “Grandma” and “Grandpa”, but you have no children.
- you force everyone who phones your house to listen to Snookums meow into the receiver.
- your cat has more names than you do.
- you spend a date telling your date all about your cats and not one thing about yourself.
- each one of your cats gets spoken to in their own individual “special voice”.
- you call your own answering machine just so that the cats can hear your voice.
- you post pictures of your cat on your web page and your spouse has no picture posted!
- you cough up hairballs daily too.
- your cat has more say than your spouse.
- you write poems about your cat.
- your cat sleeps in your bed more often than your spouse.
- you don’t need an alarm clock, because your cat wakes you up before the alarm clock goes off.
- you can eat after your cat. (For all non-cat lovers, it does happen.)
- you’ve stopped wondering where all the cat hairs that appear on your clothes could possibly come from.
- you’ve stopped caring about the amount of fur on your clothing on the rare occasions when you actually go out in public.
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