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Would you label a happily married man who slept with another man bi-sexual?

2789847 2012/05/07 05:59:05
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  • Matti Linnanvuori 2012/05/07 07:33:52
    I would label him bi-sexual
    Matti Linnanvuori
    +1
    Sleeping with another man is homosexual behavior. One can be a happily married homosexual without sex.
  • Donald ... Matti L... 2012/05/07 07:50:14
    Donald Eric Kesler
    +1
    I can’t imagine a homosexual man who is married to a heterosexual woman describe his marriage as happy. Furthermore, one can’t be happily married without sex.
  • Rod Donald ... 2012/05/07 13:07:22
    Rod
    You're wrong on both counts. He probably isn't homosexual and he could be happily married. If a beautiful woman walks by you, you will look at her... you may even have sexual thoughts concerning that woman. Does that mean that you aren't happily married or that your wife isn't all that you would like? Of course not. And, happily married is in the eye of the beholder anyway. What makes you happy may not be the same as what makes me happy. Different people have different needs. Who knows what drove him to do this. Who knows what drives anyone to do anything.

    Also, you "can" be happily married without sex. In the beginning of most relationships the attraction is physical. As the relationship grows a deeper feeling develops. What if a man is paralyzed, or is unable to have sex because of some other physical problem? Is he destined to always be unhappy? Can he/they be happily married? I've interviewed many couples where neither one was interested in sex. In most of these case they were very much in love and very happy in their relationship. Maybe it's just you that can't be happily married without sex.
  • Donald ... Rod 2012/05/07 14:37:50
    Donald Eric Kesler
    You misunderstood part of my post. My comment was in response to Matti Linnanvuori’s statement. “One can be a happily married homosexual without sex.”

    So when I wrote, “I can’t imagine a homosexual man who is married to a heterosexual woman describe his marriage as happy,” I was not responding to the hypothetical scenario introduced by WILDBOY2008.

    Regardless, the core point where you and I disagree is on the importance of sex in a healthy relationship. You are correct when you speculated that I would not be happy in a marriage without sex. I will even go one step further and declare that I would be miserable.

    I must concede that my position on the importance of sex in a healthy marriage is predominantly anecdotal. There is research available, but I have not read it.

    http://bit.ly/KHB1qM
  • Rod Donald ... 2012/05/08 13:11:35
    Rod
    Nice reply, thank you.We can agree to disagree.
  • Donald ... Rod 2012/05/08 15:52:36
    Donald Eric Kesler
    Thank you. I know better than to attempt to advance a position based solely off of anecdotal observations. Take care.
  • les_gvt 2012/05/07 07:25:29
    Would need to know more details
    les_gvt
    +4
    could definitely label him a cheater and adulterer
  • Lonely girl 2012/05/07 07:23:22
  • Pele Emerging 2012/05/07 07:21:14
    Would need to know more details
    Pele Emerging
    +3
    Depends on when it happened. A youthful indiscretion before marriage would not necessarily mean a man is bisexual. However, if a happily married man is also attracted to men, he is bisexual, regardless of how happily he is married. As a side note, a happily married man does not have sex with another, male or female, if he is happily married.
  • Donald ... Pele Em... 2012/05/07 08:44:38
    Donald Eric Kesler
    +2
    Depending upon the nature of the marriage, a happily married person could have sex with people outside of the marriage.
  • Pele Em... Donald ... 2012/05/07 21:33:10
    Pele Emerging
    Yes, if a couple had an open marriage, this would be something which would be acceptable within the agreed upon boundaries. I just didn't think this was the case, though, of the wife knowing and agreeing to happily married husband having sex with other men. This is a risk for her, even if he practices safe sex.
  • ZB 2012/05/07 07:20:04
    undecided
    ZB
    +2
    I wouldn't label him at all, just like I dont want to be labeled when I to something outside the norm.
  • jflip 2012/05/07 07:13:29
    undecided
    jflip
    +2
    He could have been in the closet, and got married to be socially accepted. Is this hypothetical, or did it actually happen?
  • Jo 2012/05/07 07:01:51
  • Claise 2012/05/07 06:43:40
    Would need to know more details
    Claise
    +3
    I would need more details. It could be that he's bisexual, but maybe he is Gay
  • Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC 2012/05/07 06:25:08
    I would not label him that
    Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC
    +4
    That would be an adulterer who cheated on his wife. And really doesn't deserve her.
  • 2789847 Nam Era... 2012/05/07 06:26:54
  • acacia86 2012/05/07 06:23:10 (edited)
    undecided
    acacia86
    +2
    Not really 'undecided' more like my answer isn't really in there. I don't label anyone anything. Labels are for canned foods, not people.

    You didn't specify if the man is married to another man though. So these answers assuming you're talking about being married to a woman:

    However, if he were a good friend and confided this to me, I would ask if he was bisexual, bicurious, or maybe more than that. Frankly it wouldn't make any difference to me. A friend is a friend unless said friend commits one of the deadly friendship sins: sleeps with MY s.o. Harms me, my s.o, my child or pet. Steals from myself or a family member. Betrays my trust on more than once occassion on a large scale.


    Yes if his wife didn't know (some married couples do have a swinger sex life, I don't judge that, to each their own so long as they don't try to get me involved in it cause it isn't my style) I'd feel bad for her, and I'd offer consulation if she felt okay confiding to me, or I'd see about maybe getting her in with a professional if she'd be more comfortable with that.



    If said man is a co-worker, a co-worker is a co-worker provided they pull their own weight. I couldn't care less who my collegues sleep witih PROVIDED the other party is at the age of consent, it's consentual, and no animals are involved,...









    Not really 'undecided' more like my answer isn't really in there. I don't label anyone anything. Labels are for canned foods, not people.

    You didn't specify if the man is married to another man though. So these answers assuming you're talking about being married to a woman:

    However, if he were a good friend and confided this to me, I would ask if he was bisexual, bicurious, or maybe more than that. Frankly it wouldn't make any difference to me. A friend is a friend unless said friend commits one of the deadly friendship sins: sleeps with MY s.o. Harms me, my s.o, my child or pet. Steals from myself or a family member. Betrays my trust on more than once occassion on a large scale.


    Yes if his wife didn't know (some married couples do have a swinger sex life, I don't judge that, to each their own so long as they don't try to get me involved in it cause it isn't my style) I'd feel bad for her, and I'd offer consulation if she felt okay confiding to me, or I'd see about maybe getting her in with a professional if she'd be more comfortable with that.



    If said man is a co-worker, a co-worker is a co-worker provided they pull their own weight. I couldn't care less who my collegues sleep witih PROVIDED the other party is at the age of consent, it's consentual, and no animals are involved, as for his wife, same response as before.



    If it's a family member I'm close to, same as a friend, ask if he's bisexual or bicurious, or possibly fully in the closet. Same response for the wife as well.



    And if it's just some celeb I read about in a paper, shrug it off and go on with my life, cause frankly, who cares? I'd feel especially bad for the possibility that the wife found out through a news paper/ tabloid, but as for the actual act it's self if they're gay/straight/bi, I couldn't give less of a rat's behind.

    Alternatively, same sex marriage is legal in my own backyard, and through out my country. So frankly this man could be straight up gay and having sex with his husband. So what?
    (more)
  • retrograve 2012/05/07 06:20:47 (edited)
    I would not label him that
    retrograve
    +3
    I would call him an adulterer but then again in some states that man could be his husband.
  • geegee 2012/05/07 06:20:44
    undecided
    geegee
    +4
    Is sex the only thing on your mind??? Why all the gay, bi, crappy questions..Why not talk about anything else? Oh, and I don't label people.
  • Tim Upham 2012/05/07 06:20:17
    I would label him bi-sexual
    Tim Upham
    +2
    Men can be happily married to a woman, and still have sexual relations with a man. Sexuality is not a black and white, it is more of a shade of gray.
  • Jo Tim Upham 2012/05/07 07:03:39
    Jo
    +3
    men can be happily married and still have sexual relations with anyone--male OR female.
  • boltfox20 2012/05/07 06:17:03
    Would need to know more details
    boltfox20
    +3
    For example, is he married to a man?
  • 2789847 boltfox20 2012/05/07 06:18:36
  • boltfox20 2789847 2012/05/08 18:25:53
    boltfox20
    ... to a man?
  • EliteAmongOutcasts 2012/05/07 06:15:19
  • Princess emo 2012/05/07 06:10:18
    I would label him bi-sexual
    Princess emo
    +2
    Depends is he married to a woman
  • 2789847 Princes... 2012/05/07 06:13:02
  • Princes... 2789847 2012/05/12 14:22:01
    Princess emo
    Then he's bi no doubt about it.
  • Mrs. Kathy Arch 2012/05/07 06:09:17
    undecided
    Mrs. Kathy Arch
    +2
    I would rate him an adulterer~
  • psiEnergos 2012/05/07 06:08:56
    Would need to know more details
    psiEnergos
    +4
    Depends on what you meant by 'slept'. If you mean in a sexual way, he may have been drunk or bi-courious. Simply sharing a bed means nothing.
  • retrograve psiEnergos 2012/05/07 06:22:06
    retrograve
    +3
    It does mean something, it means they were tired. :)
  • S.M. 2012/05/07 06:07:42
    I would label him bi-sexual
    S.M.
    +3
    And a ROTTEN CHEATER!
  • Greenbay 2012/05/07 06:06:51
    I would not label him that
    Greenbay
    +3
    Cheating is cheating
  • Brownielover504 2012/05/07 06:04:54
    I would not label him that
    Brownielover504
    +1
    HE'S GAY nd or CONFUSE... no disrespect gay or confuse people
  • BeautifulSoul 2012/05/07 06:03:58
    undecided
    BeautifulSoul
    +4
    Maybe bi-curious..?
  • joseph digristina 2012/05/07 06:01:57
    Would need to know more details
    joseph digristina
    +3
    If he's sleeping with men, he's not happily married --he's a closet queen.
  • Pat 2012/05/07 06:01:19
    Would need to know more details
    Pat
    +4
    When you say "sleep" do you mean sleeping as in tired and must close my eyes, or, do you mean let's have sex?
  • 2789847 Pat 2012/05/07 06:04:57
  • Pat 2789847 2012/05/07 06:13:09
    Pat
    +3
    Ok, then the answer would have to be I don't know. Maybe he's just experimenting or maybe he had too much to drink and wasn't thinking clearly or maybe he really is gay and his marriage isn't as happy as some people thought it was. Whatever it is, I don't think anyone should label him at all. It's up to him to figure out his orientation.

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2013/05/21 10:21:12

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