Within this Technology Age, will a college degree hold any merit?

Ode to the Bachelor of Arts Degree
To all of you focused, diligent, and determined scholars about to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in English, Communications, Speech, Journalism, or any interrelated course of academic study, first off -- Congratulations! You have upheld and then conquered the inferior and seemingly never ending title of "College Freshman"; then, upon successfully completing the courses along with the tests to fully exclude yourself from that Freshman and next second-year status, that Sophomore title, you successfully established a triumphant plan of action in order to overstep the hurdles instilled within the "Upper Division" titles of college junior and senior; and now, finally, you have made it!

You have graduated / will graduate in the Spring of 2011. Accordingly, you now possess a Bachelor of Arts degree. Nonetheless, you will step into an entirely new transition. You will soon be faced with a new set of established priorities: the relentless job search and then reentry into the unfamiliar "freshman status" at a completely separate level. In between this point and that, however, have you yet actually taken the time to honestly realize the prevalent attributes you've acquired? This next step distinguishes the Practical from the Theoretical.

But sadly, the undistorted end is nowhere in sight. Rather, those distortions are what you will soon learn to conform to and obey instead of subvert and abolish, exactly the opposite of the laborious tasks you learned to perform in college. In ten years what will you recall? More implicitly, which lectures and class discussions and informative seminars will you look back on as insightful next month? How about next year? In a decade? How about two? Or three? Or even retirement-age, in very likely just short of half a century from now? A new set of rules you will now face. To your advantage, however, as you'll surely discover, now you're armed! Here is a taste of what will benefit you the most and enhance your best interests...

* Through the use of excessive and unnecessary words and phrases, you are now entitled to completely sidetrack and intimidate the common reader, listener, or audience;

* You are now certified to "professionally" obfuscate, camouflage, or decorate any content in an effort at exaggerating weak or poor ideas to the greater benefit of whichever angle you advocate (obscure poor reasoning to your greater advantage);

* you are now armed with the knowledge of -- or at least the "know how" and where to readily locate in order to research -- every logical fallacy fathomable in order to more concretely (emotionally and persuasively) embellish your point of view in order to convince others to adopt it as their own;

* you have become authorized to conceal the main thesis of any argument under a coat of incomprehensible jargon...

And this is only the backbone of the power and control you've gained. Apparently, as much as you've been taught how to indicate in order to avoid the inhibition of absolute clarity, you will now soon learn how deceit and dishonesty builds character, "wins friends," and truly brings home an income. Especially during this time of uncertainty throughout this horrific World Wide Economic Recession, hey... You've got to watch out for yourself first.

Despite that there are no jobs available anywhere, at least you're now spitefully armed. So be that bully everyone tries desperately to avoid. Do what you've got to do throughout these unbearable times; only then will you discover the actual strengths you've gained through that rigorous and agonizing barrage of college courses. Class of 2012, congratulations and good luck!