Margaret Cho

Pure sass! "I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one but I can’t decide what I want and I don’t want to be stuck with one I’m just going to grow to hate and have to have surgically removed."

Sarah Silverman

A brilliant comedian and star of "The Sarah Silverman Program." Here's a one liner, "I don’t care if you think I’m racist as long as you think I’m a thin racist. "

Wanda Sykes

Wanda is just funny in anything she does. I loved when she was on the show "Curb Your Enthusiasm," where she played a sassy friend of Larry David. No matter what he did, she always accused him of being racist.

Maria Bamford

A lesser known female comic, Maria specializes in "indie comedy." Here's a one liner, "I’ve never really thought of myself as depressed as much as paralyzed by hope."

Ellen DeGeneres

Brilliant comic! Here's a one liner, "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is."

Janeane Garofalo

She rocked the 90's. Here's a one liner, "My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante’s inferno, where they’re gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style."

Whoopi Goldberg

Whoopi is one of the most accomplished comediennes listed here. In addition to her stand-up, she's a great actress and improv comic.

Lucille Ball

I used to love staying up late and watching reruns of "I Love Lucy." Even though the show was old and dated, I still thought it was hilarious.