Oblunder's sheeple
WHO'S UP FOR SOME POLITCALLY INCORRECT FUN?
BUCCANEER~POTL~PWCM~JLA
2012/03/20 15:59:25
If you are as sick and tired of being bombarded and ground down by the lunataic excesses of the pc brigade,please feel free to post any pc incorrect thoughts you have on the subject eg; jokes, comments, songs, film clips ditty's (with the d) or not should you so desire! in short anything that is just within TOS that makes a total mockery of
over sensitive society and jobsworths. please note that I have avoided wherever possible using caps lock,this is purely out of respect for any libs who may think i was shouting at them if i did so.
i will kick off with a good one I received from a shipmate,he is still serving so would prefer to be called anon,due to the fact that under todays pc law keeping in the RN,
he would be harshly punished by having two leading hand queens tie him to a comfy feather bed,and spank him with a feather duster,whilst dressed as lady gaga.
over sensitive society and jobsworths. please note that I have avoided wherever possible using caps lock,this is purely out of respect for any libs who may think i was shouting at them if i did so.
i will kick off with a good one I received from a shipmate,he is still serving so would prefer to be called anon,due to the fact that under todays pc law keeping in the RN,
he would be harshly punished by having two leading hand queens tie him to a comfy feather bed,and spank him with a feather duster,whilst dressed as lady gaga.
Top Opinion
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Chi~Cat 2012/03/20 16:52:39
Feather duster ? warped Brit/Mil/Pythonesque humour!!
she's 21 and her name's Lucy.------------------------... Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile" and other names at me, just becausemy girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. -----------------------------... thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.... although, they do make me look a bit gay.
A blind bunny was hopping down the
Bunny trail and tripped over a
Large snake and fell, kerplop right on
His twitchy little nose.
'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I
Didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.'
'That's perfectly all right,' replied the
Snake. 'To be sure, it was my fault.
I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm
Blind too, and I didn't see you coming.
By the way, what kind of animal
Are you?'
'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny..
'I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe
You could examine me and
Find out.'
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he
Said, 'Well, you're soft, and cuddly,
And you have long silky ears, and
A little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose.
You must be a bunny
Rabbit!'
The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough. But
By the way, what kind of animal are you?'
The snake replied that he didn't know either,
And the bunny agreed to examine him,
And when the bunny was finished,
The snake asked,
'Well, what kind of an animal am I?'
The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he
Replied, 'You're cold, you're slippery, and you have no balls...
You must
Be a LIB/DEM politician
” Walter,” responds the little boy.
“And what is your question, Walter?”
“I have 4 questions:
First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress? Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse? Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preachings and beliefs? Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren’t allowed to?”
Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time. Who has a question?”
Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.
“Steve,” he responds.
“And what is your question, Steve?”
Actually, I have 6 questions.
First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress? Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse? Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preachings and beliefs? Four...
” Walter,” responds the little boy.
“And what is your question, Walter?”
“I have 4 questions:
First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress? Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse? Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preachings and beliefs? Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren’t allowed to?”
Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time. Who has a question?”
Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.
“Steve,” he responds.
“And what is your question, Steve?”
Actually, I have 6 questions.
First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress? Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse? Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preachings and beliefs? Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren’t allowed to? Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And sixth, what the hell happened to Walter ?”
I once had to write a paper in college about PC and came across a book called
"Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" by James Garner. They are quite funny! He makes fun of PC in the stories. If you ever have time, check them out. :o)
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower
President Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious democratic president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy. 'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'
A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me...
President Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious democratic president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy. 'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'
A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?' 'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a accident either.'
Birdy,and 'aint that the truth!
Unique Up On It.
How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psychopath
How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids
What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.
What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.
What's the Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goe...
Unique Up On It.
How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psychopath
How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids
What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.
What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.
What's the Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.