Who is your favorite stand up comdian and what is your favorite quote from them?

SAM KENNISON (BEFORE HE DIED) FAV QUOTE EVERYTHING HE SAID

There are too many good ones by him.

Alan King

"Survived by his wife..."

He had a lot of great quotes but my favorite is:
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

Mark Lowry from Mama had enough. "I wish God would build a little red light on the back of every Mama's head that would start flashing 10 seconds before enough, You can make a lot of tracks in 10 seconds"

He's not my favorite, I don't think I have a favorite anything, unless it's vacation time, but this guy, "The Amazing Johnathan" I found pretty hysterical---sometimes over the top...but in a good way.

Greg Hahn:

"High five-- myself---No friends"

Larry the Cable Guy



This whole skit

That would be the person who made the question to begin with an it isn't hat to put a ** in the middle of a work or change it to a euphanism. It was my request that people not use foul languages. I prefer to keep it off social sites like this one. Just a preference I have and if you can't respect me for my requests then please don't answer anymore polls under my profile. I am not a prude I swear at home just not online where the whole populous can see. Thank you have a good day.

Roseanne. I cant pick a specific quote, all of her quotes are hilarious!

Michael McIntyre, his sketch about his son's first words was hilarious!

George Carlin is indeed a legend in comedy. He left us way too soon.

Richard Pryor "I went to Zimbabwe.I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard a police car I knew they weren't coming after me!"

Robi Williams... or Richard Pryor, even Edie Murphy. and Carlin was great also!

Lewis Black, quote is, " ...And if your twittering f*ck you." -Lewis Black

Lewis Black is hilarious.

Steven Wright: I saw a guy the other day with wooden legs and real feet !

Don Rickles "Hello Dummy"

I'm not really into stand up comedians. If you ask me, Robin Williams was pretty awesome back in the day. :) I don't have a quote from him though.

If I was going to pay to see a comic, it would likely be either Dunham or Carlos Mencia. After going to see Sam Kinnison in his hey-day, it's not likely to happen. What a waste of a 70 mile drive and 5 hours. Sorry, I can't verbatim any of their routines.

I don't really want to be a " negative Nelly", but I have to say a few words on George Carlin. I used to worship this man, and thought he was quite profound. Much of what he criticized of the right really aligned with my feelings. Same with much of his general social commentary, including religion. Then I watched an interview with him, I believe it was "Inside the Actor's Studio", but I can't be sure, it was a good while ago now. In this interview, he was basically bragging about how he would never exercise his duty and privilege to vote, and that in fact, he NEVER had. To me, and many of my contemporaries, this was even worse than Dylan saying he wasn't trying convey any messages in the "old songs", that they didn't mean anything. For Carlin to say that, knowing the influence he had on AT LEAST two generations, was reprehensible.

I apologize, but some things, especially what I consider to be a great betrayal, and when I know it isn't common knowledge, I can't leave unsaid.

I don't really stand by him fully either. I just liked how he said 'geeked out on crack' which isn't in my post but you know.

Sing it Andy !

Well 'sung' too ;0 )

Thank you friend. Comedy is great, but it is also an instrument of change when used properly. To comment and expect the rest of us to effect the changes he desired or felt just, and not be willing to commit to his own convictions, well, I found it quite insulting. After that it's been hard for me to find much of what he said funny or worthwhile. You don't even want to get me started on the "blue collar hero".

please edit this to sensor the profanity thank you

please edit this to sensor the profanity thank you

Good one,
Once I heard that it originated in Belgium, (or northern France) where it meant "to prepare the fields for planting"

Don't have a favorite, but this is a good one-
"The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."