turn the other cheeck! be the bigger person! :D
it is hard i'll admit .-. but it's what we gots to do! :)
What would you do if this happened to YOU?!
Micha Vengeance Way
2012/05/29 20:17:50
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Okay, so, my mom isn't the friendliest person in the world.
She's extremely judgemental, especially when it comes to my sexuality (I'm bi.)
So basically I've spent my whole life being told I'm going to hell for liking girls,
and then last week my mom sent me a message on Facebook saying she's in love with a woman.
Obviously, since I'm bisexual, I have no problem with a woman being in love with a woman. I am, however, angry at her for putting me down all my life and then just expecting me to be happy for her when she figures out that it's actually a natural thing and not bad at all. -_-
Do you think it's stupid of me to be mad?
What woudl your reaction be if this happened to you?
Keep in mind she's actually told me that she would DISOWN me if I married a woman.
She's extremely judgemental, especially when it comes to my sexuality (I'm bi.)
So basically I've spent my whole life being told I'm going to hell for liking girls,
and then last week my mom sent me a message on Facebook saying she's in love with a woman.
Obviously, since I'm bisexual, I have no problem with a woman being in love with a woman. I am, however, angry at her for putting me down all my life and then just expecting me to be happy for her when she figures out that it's actually a natural thing and not bad at all. -_-
Do you think it's stupid of me to be mad?
What woudl your reaction be if this happened to you?
Keep in mind she's actually told me that she would DISOWN me if I married a woman.
Top Opinion
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♥ugh♥ 2012/05/29 21:04:52
Then if she acknowledges that what she said was painful and she was likely projecting her own insecurities onto me, which was wrong to do, I'd ask her if we could set up a double date with our girlfriends. :D
it is hard i'll admit .-. but it's what we gots to do! :)
When is was yunga,you woold get yo ass wooped er yer life ruined ifs ya was a kitty licken kinda a women.So meny parents did thangs thet they didnt want ta see theys childrens do .I thinks ya shood feels proud thet ya paved da way for yo mamma ta cums out and says thet she is a lezybian.
If she did not care, she would say nothing. I know it is hurtful and I am sure you deeply resent what she is saying - try to understand that she actually does want the best for you and, while going about it the wrong way, she is really saying ' I love you and I want you to have a good life.'
You might try just not talking about your sex life at all until some day later in your life - Personally, I have zero interest in discussing my son's sex life with him and I am damn sure he has zero interest in talking about mine.
Is she going to act out that she's going to hell...only to later do an about face and praise heterosexism even more obnoxiously because she "overcame?" (Is religion behind this? Lack of pertinent education? A family history of poorly motivated power struggles? All of the above?)
Or will she slowly work it out and come around and become decent towards you (less likely, statistically).
It makes me mad, that they would do this, yet accept my sister, or their ideas than everyone. So its not stupid for being mad. Its completely normal.
Yeah, I suspect you might take a shot or two ("So I guess you must feel a little guilty for tearing me down all this time, huh?"), but don't hold on to it. Let her know that you have every reason to be angry with her... but that you forgive her anyway and hope that her realization can be the start of a new dialogue between you.
I honestly don't know. This is tough.
As we get older we find that some of the things we were taught as a child, I was raised a Babiest, may not necessarily be true or at the very least are based on a belief someone else has imposed on us. The most important part of growing up is to come to understand that what we learn on our own will often become our reality much more than what someone else has taught us.
Your mother has now come to understand something she did not know of before. Should you still be angry with her? Well it would be hard not to be a little bit but you must somehow get around that. It would seem now that your mother may have come to understand that our sexual preference has nothing to do with what some call normal.
Perhaps, if you have not, you should have another talk with her about this subject and find out where she is on this. If you have already done this then you know very well what you are dealing with. If not, perhaps it is time. You may find you now have a very good friend and no longer someone to fear.
That she took it out you was wrong, and she owes you an apology; but understand that it came from a place of self-loathing, and probably a little bit of jealousy. After all, you had the strength to live your life on your own terms, in a way that she never could before. You had the courage to do what she always wished that she could.
In fact, you probably inspired her to come to terms with herself.
If I were you, I would confront her about this. I would tell her how much she hurt me, and that I believe she owes me an apology. Then I would forgive her, and hug her and congratulate her on her new-found liberty.
(hope that makes sense)
You've got a chance at a real relationship with her now. She'd probably be very grateful for that. She might even welcome the opportunity to ask you to forgive her. Give her a chance.
The Story of Two Wolves
(A Cherokee Legend)
An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.
I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.
But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.
Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."