What should I do???

This is just going to cause problems at work in the long run. And if he cheats with you on his current girlfriend. Then eventually he would do it to you if do get to together.

Yes exactly, that's what I thought. I'm over it now thankfully

I'm glad you worked that out for yourself, and didn't let any of us influence you

leave it alone

dont do this to yourself..you say that you dont wantto break him up with his girlfriend..so dont. but the pressure is on you since you habe feelings for him. if you know that you're impulsive and that you rush into relationships..this not being a good thing..why keep doing it? yeah..fun is fun..and feelings come and go. long time or not..those feelings can change.

as far as good advise is concerned..an opinion is just an opinion..not good or bad..you weigh how you feel about it. if all you wanted was everyone to agree that you should go for it..why even ask the question? so you get different opinions...and different perspectives on your situation..but you already said a few things that effect you moving forward with him..

dont know how to take things slow..dont you think you need to learn how to? it betters you and in some things you need to exercise patience..you work..and no matter how much you might be desperate for the money now!!..unless they allow you an advnce..you have to wait til payday comes around. guess what..while you called yourself frantic..you survived til payday.

actually if i go through all your points this will get very lengthy..so i'm not going to do that right now..if you want me to then contact me and i will. lol be careful :-))

Wait and see what happens. Some other man might cross your path, someone who is *not* taken. What's going to happen, will happen. But if *you* make it happen, you and he will always wonder, "What if...?"

Give up on him.

Never been in a relationship with only one person at a time?

So you mean that you see more than one man at a time?

And do the men know this ?

I would think that would bother any decent man unless the man is looking for something free.

I'm just curious, how many relationships have you had and why do they not last?

I won't go into detail on here lol. Basically I'm not very good with relationships, I'm better off on my own. I guess they never last because I end it before they get too close and I move onto the next one to get over the last one. They've only ever been shallow relationships anyway, I would be able to control myself more if I was in a serious long term relationship. I asked this question a few weeks ago when I was interested in aguy at work, but I've found out since then that he is still with his girlfriend and he was flirting with me heaps so I'm no longer interested, I would never break up someone else's relationship. My relationships and things with guys are stifled by my inability to let anyone in and by my impulsiveness.

I'm curious, if you ever met a guy and really liked him, would you ever tell him the info and details regarding your dating or relationship past?

Or would you withhold that info from him?
And how would you feel if you told him and he split?

If I met a guy I really liked, I would want to start off as friends and get to know eachother, and I would be completely honest and confess my issues and if he was an intelligent, understanding person then he would understand and would reserve judgement, just like I would with anyone. If not, then he wasn't the right one for me.

I think the understanding would be more important than the intelligent.

How understanding would he have to be?

I just want to meet someone one day who thinks and sees things the same way I do. If I was in a deep and meaningful, fulfilling relationship, I wouldn't feel the urge to cheat on them. It's only when I find it hard to take people seriously that I can't stick to one person. Does that make much sense? What do you think

No two people will ever think and see things the same, you can hope to find someone who understands your views and you understand their views and hope that you have as many in common, as possible. And the ones that you don't have in common, you can try to respect.

Separate from that. Why the lack of seriousness?

Yeah thats true, thats what I mean. I guess I just haven't found the right one yet. I will take relationships seriously in the future, but I'm young, guys my age are stupid and immature and as for older guys, I just enjoy having fun at this time of my life. But despite what I've said about them being shallow relationships, I only mean that as in physical, sexual love, that's what we define as shallow. For me, I care about everyone, just because I've loved more than one person at a time doesn't mean I didn't love them all. and just because I don't see a future, it doesn't mean that the time I have with that person isn't special. I don't really plan things, I just go with the flow and see where it takes me, and enjoy life's moments in time for what they are. In the end, that's all we have anyway. I don't see it as being a cheater or 'slut', as I've told you before, I have love and empathy for everyone. I don't know if I'm explaining my views very articulately, but do you understand what I mean?

wow..now i see that maybe i should read the conversations more before i answer..the answer doesnt apply to the initial question anymore. :-))

Haha what do you mean?

Haha! I would never do anything with him while he's still in a relationship, and I would never want to break them up. He's the one who started flirting with me not other way round. Im just talking about what should I think? I would only make a move if I was certain they weren't together anymore but I don't for sure.

Everyone you will ever go out with will most likely be someone's cast off for the reason thats everyone is different and some people are just not meant to be. I don't think im special and I dont think anyone is special, if I needed ego boost there are other ways to get that. and yes everyone is only next so why go out with anyone at all seeing as we're all just another notch on the bed post. So do, I, ive never been dumped, I do the dumping as well, and I also like to have fun until I one day find someone rich and wonderful to marry maybe in my 30 s . Why is it that a guy in a relationship can flirt with another girl and the girl is labelled hoe but not the guy? Especially when he's the one making the advances? so I cant be interested in this guy whether he is single or not? When am I allowed to be interested in him? What's the time limit?

Thank you for your advice, I've definitely taken it on board, it has made me question whether it is worth chasing.. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens or does not happen

Haha thanks

I voted too soon. Here is the reality of the situation: You steal him, your a hoe. You have no right to F*** with someones love. Now, on the other hand, how old are they? how long have they been together? do they have plans of getting married? If they are young, chances are they wont be together forever. If they get engaged, then game over. Might I suggest not having tunnel vision on him that would block out other oppertunities that you wouldnt want to miss? One last thing: Would you want to be with a guy that even considers other women while in a relationship...?

He's 22 and is german and has been in australia for 2 years and been in relationship for 1 year. He himself hasnt mentioned anything about having a gf, I just heard it through someone else. Im not sure they're still together, but I assume they are. Yeah nah I dont ever get tunnel vision with guys and yes thats what im worried about. I just don't know what to think!

You cant THINK anything until you KNOW what the real facts are, right? It never hurts to ask if they have a special someone. Then you can use Facebook to make sure hes telling the truth. Juvenile I know, but in today's world there's alot of information about everyone online.

Oh yeah he added me on fb. I hate fb I never go on and I still haven't added him yet I don't think I want to. I'd rather get to know someone in physical face to face for a while before learning all about their life all at once on the internet, I think it cheapens relationships, I don't know if anyone else thinks that. But yeah I guess that's agood idea, thanks for the advice!

I didnt mean find out things about him, just confirm his relationship status.

thank you for responding to my question!

Well I gave him my number and said I wanted to keep in contact with him because I will be leaving soon, and he's been texting me and said he looks forward to seeing me at work and doesn't want me to leave and said I could work with him in kitchen instead lol. So I think he likes me but can't be sure because he has a gf... And im worried that if I see him out of work I will rush into things and it will be meaningless and won't last and I can't let that happen while he still has a gf. I feel like an idiot! I dont normally care this much! I guess I should just get it off my chest so I can move on faster. Thanks for the advice